18 Fingers of Death (2006)

For our third 2026 Hall of Fame inductee, it's unfortunately as somber one as well, as we're honoring the late James Lew, who probably should've been in before for all his stunt work. Here I picked a film that was his passion project, which was written and directed by him, also stars him, and he was fight and stunt coordinator on it. It feels like the perfect Lew induction film. In addition to us, Matt Spector at Bulletproof Action has covered this as well.

18 Fingers of Death is a mockumentary-style film about a once famous action star, Buford Lee (Lew), who is trying to make him new film, 18 Fingers of Death, and fan and first time director Ronald Mack (Maurice Patton) is documenting it. Unfortunately the funding is pulled, so now Lee and Mack join forces to make the film on whatever limited resources they can get. As they're making the film, we get interviews with other action luminaries, like Steven Seefood, Chuck Snorris, Jackie Chong (Robin Shou), and Antonio Bandana (Lorenzo Lamas, who in the role performs "Guantanamera"!); plus behind the scenes footage of some of Lee's past films. As they're casting for the new film, local TV host Sushi Cue (Lisa Arturo) auditions for the leading lady role, but could she be Lee's real life leading lady?

This was a ton of fun, especially for us action fans. Lew lines up all the best clichés and standards, and pokes fun at them in a way that only someone who's spent decades in the industry can. The thing is though, while he's doing all these goofy send-ups, he manages to also have some great fight scenes, and gives us a main character in Buford Lee that we want to root for and see succeed. Then you have the massive guest roster, which includes Pat Morita as Lee's father; the aforementioned Lamas and Shou; Bokeem Woodbine as "Billy Buff," a Billy Blanks parody; Ho Sung Pak as a young Buford Lee; George Cheung as a doctor; June Kyoto Lu as Lee's mother (in a much smaller part than Morita as the father); and then cameo of all cameos, Don "the Dragon" Wilson plays himself, helping out at Buford Lee's acting class! Everyone got the assignment and added to the proceedings, which made it all that much more enjoyable. Some of the humor was a bit goofy and maybe a bit gross depending on your sensibilities, but it all worked for me. If you're an action fan, especially of the names I mentioned above, I think you'll enjoy this.

Maybe the biggest travesty is that this movie isn't more well-known. I'd heard of it, but wasn't sure what it was, and only seriously considered it for a review when I was looking for something for Lew's induction post, and saw this as one of his directing credits. Some of it could be the bad reviews, especially on IMDb, where in true IMDb user review style, someone gave this a 3 because the Seagal parody was named "Steven Seefood" instead of "Steven Seagull." As the kids would say, that's peak IMDb user review behavior. That may explain some of it, but I also think Lew was a little too on point with showing how the sausage is made, and that may have ruffled a few feathers. This is all a part of Lew that we never really got as he was often a henchman or bodyguard in an action movie, which didn't leave a lot of room for anything beyond beating people up or taking a beating, and while it would've been nice to have more of that off-beat side, the fact that this exists and we get to enjoy this side of him is something we're fortunate to have. 90s action wouldn't have been 90s action without him, he truly will be missed, and his Hall of Fame induction was long overdue, but at least he's in now.

Two big names were in this as smaller parts, 40 Club member Don "the Dragon" Wilson, who's now at 46 films, two behind Cynthia Rothrock for third all-time among actors on the site; and Lorenzo Lamas, who's now at 38, two away from becoming the fifth actor in the DTVC 40 Club. We'll start with Lamas because he has the bigger part as "Antonio Bandana." First he's interviewed about Buford Lee, while singing "Guantanamera," which is something I never thought I'd get, but now that we're getting it I feel so lucky. Later he's in a scene that I'll talk about in the seventh paragraph which is all about farting, and he carries that off too. I think it says a lot about Lamas and his relationship with Lew that he's in this playing one of the parody characters, because considering the size of the career he's had, Lew could've had someone play a parody version of him instead, and didn't, which I think is cool to see, and again highlights their relationship. Wilson's part is smaller, as he plays himself helping Buford Lee's acting class. While he's playing himself and not a parody character they way Lamas was, the fact that he's in this as himself, as opposed to someone playing a parody version of him, also highlights his relationship with Lew.

We also had two big names that were parodied, and parodied in a way that was a little ahead of what is now the popular perception of them. First there was Steven Seefood, where Buford Lee dons a ponytail and plays Seefood's stunt double, which is fitting, because Seagal's longtime stunt double, Dian Hristov, is also getting into the Hall of Fame in 2026; but also it was a crack about how little Seagal was actually acting in his films, something we were starting to notice at that time too. The other part of the Seagal parody was him eating Chinese food while being interviewed by the documentarian, and in that interview he tells these tall tales about fighting off groups of Asian or black attackers in New York City. These ridiculous stories were starting to get called out more, and overall he was looking like more of a clown in the action world, but this was still only 2004, even before Outlaw Vern's Seagalogy, so Seagal was still revered in a lot of circles, and would continue to pump out a ton of DTV films for the next fifteen years, but the cracks in the image were definitely starting. The other name I wanted to mention was Chuck Norris, who gets skewered as "Chuck Snorris," depicted as an old man trying to hawk his as seen on TV workout equipment. The cracks in Norris's reputation started to show more in the late 2000s/early 2010s when he came out as a Birther and actively worked against marriage equality, among other hateful things he championed. It was such that when he passed away earlier this year, I think there were more tributes to Lew than there were Norris, which I wouldn't have expected in the mid-2000s when this was made, but it made sense in 2026. Again, it's interesting seeing these things now when so much more is known, but trying to bring my brain back to 2006--or 2004 when this was actually made--and trying to understand these depictions at that time, I think they were ahead of their time then.

Finally, while I am 47 years old, and by all accounts in our society am considered an adult, a good portion of me is still a ten-year-old, as evidenced by how much I was laughing at the farting action sequence. The idea is, Buford Lee is making a film that takes place in Mexico, and the film's caterer, Sammy Delassandro (Joey Diaz), decided to make a Mexican-themed spread for the cast and crew. The result was everyone had a lot of gas while shooting one of the big action sequences, and so we're treated to constant fart noises. It reminded me of when my friends and I would make fart noises while watching movies, and by the end of it I was laughing like a ten-year-old. It was a thing of beauty, and just another area where this movie works, at least for a man child like me. As an aside, one of the best places to get a cheesesteak here in Philly is Dalessandro's, and I don't know if Joey Diaz's character name is an homage to that. People often think about Cheesesteak Corner, where Pat's and Geno's are, but in Roxoborough you have Dalessandro's, which is better than either of them, and then across the street there's Chubby's, which is like a diner where they play hair metal, which is a nice deal too.

Anyway, I could go on about cheesesteaks all day, so why don't we wrap this up. You can rent this on Amazon for $1.99, or buy it for $3.99--which as we know isn't actually buying, but rather having a license to watch it until Amazon decides you can't anymore. If you haven't seen it before, it is worth a rental, especially if you're a fan of action movies, and in particular 90s low-budget actioners. This was the perfect James Lew Hall of Fame induction post, so I'm glad we did it. One of the greatest to do it, he will truly be missed.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397853/

Mary Magnum: Jiu-Jitsu Nun (2026)

This was a screener request from Robert Dill, who was one of the producers on the film, and plays the main baddie. The title alone makes it hard to resist, so it didn't take a lot of convincing, and we had a slot open for a review this week, so here we are. Let's see how it did!

Mary Magnum: Jiu-Jitsu Nun stars Paula Rae Taylor as the eponymous hero, who becomes a nun in part to atone for her past as a special forces soldier, and in part out of heartbreak after Vicky, the woman she loves (Laura Lopez), leaves her to marry rich guy and political candidate Vlad Russo (Dill). After some time doing her nun stuff, she gets a letter from Vicky, and it sounds like this Russo character isn't a straight shooter--in fact, he may be downright devious. At the same time, Mary has a disagreement with her boss, Father Miller (Ryan Patrick Shanahan), over whether or not he should be able to have inappropriate relations with the altar boys, which leads to her violently tendering her resignation. Now she has all the free time she needs to find Vicky and free her from Russo, but will Russo be so amenable to letting her go?

This was a ton of fun. Both a love letter to and a send up of low-budget action movies, and a good mix of both that will make fans of the action genre happy. Paula Rae Taylor is great as the lead, she's someone you want to root for, and someone you want to see go into a room and beat up a bunch of stunt guys; and then Robert Dill fully understands the assignment as the lead baddie, plenty amounts of scenery chewing and despicableness. I also liked Laura Lopez as Vicky, and Thomas Patrick Ryan Watson as Johnny Stryder, friend of Mary and Vicky, and son of former action legend Jake Stryder. The action was great too, a nice mix of martial arts and gun fu, and there were a lot of talented people carrying those scenes off. My one critique is some of the dialog scenes felt a little long, but I understand too at 83 minutes, perhaps if they cut those scenes down and it's too short that may scare distributors, though as action fans, Showdown in Little Tokyo is one of the best movies ever, and it's like 76 minutes, so those distributors shouldn't be too concerned with that. Also, I read the Comeuppance review of Prepare to Die, another film from writer and director of this film, Jose Montesinos, and they had the same issue with that one. Again though, that's a small critique on what was overall a great time here. Currently you can rent this on Prime, and if you're looking to support more indie films and want a fun action film, this is worth checking out.

Paula Rae Taylor joins Tatiana Neva and Shaina West as up and coming women action stars, and someone else that I want to see in more stuff. From the beginning when she walks into the dive bar in her nun's habit, where a bunch of scary guys are looking to do her harm, it's go time, just a series of cracked limbs, bullets in domes, and cold one-liners. As I said above, she plays a hero you want to root for, which is essential, but you gotta believe it when the punches start flying, and she delivers there too. I'm behind on Cobra Kai, but fans of that would recognize her Draga from the last season of that series; and she was in Prepare to Die, so I'll have to make that one happen soon--the Comeuppance guys gave that one a good review too. Obviously this films lends itself to sequels, and I'd be up for more of these films, but whatever it is, we need some more action movies with her in the lead.

Every action movie needs a great baddie as well, and that's where Robert Dill comes in. With these more tongue-in-cheek sendups we often run into a situation where the baddie may go too goofy or chew too much scenery, but Dill plays it straight for the most part, which makes it work even more. Unlike Taylor, who we haven't seen before on the site, Dill has worked with Isaac Florentine and Jesse V. Johnson as both actor and stunt performer, including some classics like The Mercenary and Accident Man, so he's well-versed in what makes for a good action movie; but the comedic aspects of this asked for more, and he delivered there too. I think my favorite part was when he was telling his henchmen how he developed his famous punch. It was straight out of a Seagal movie where he's beating up his students, but while Seagal is totally serious when he does that, we know Dill isn't, but he's gotta play it like he's serious too to make the whole thing work. Just a fantastic job all round, and I look forward to seeing more of his work as well.

In the DTV action world, beyond the high-octane action and fight choreography, there's often what Bravo TV calls "the jiggle factor," which they use to describe when they encourage their Real Housewives cast members to wear skimpy outfits so the husbands of the women watching their shows are less likely to ask their wives to change the channel. In the action movie "the jiggle factor" is often the seedy strip club, the modern version of the Western saloon; or maybe a brothel or another form of sex work, and there's a sense that the women who engage in sex work are somehow a lower tier than the damsel in distress who may be captured and pressganged into wearing a sexy outfit, but is saved by the hero before any actual forced sex work happens. This movie does a great job of handling that whole trope, when we find out that Vlad Russo is forcing Vicky to make him money through Onlyfans. She's in her sexy lingerie with stockings, she's uncomfortable, but she opens her computer and sucks it up, and most action movies would keep the exploitation up, maybe having her undress more, do sexy poses or whatever. Instead, the first guy watching her asks her to poop in a cup and mail it to her in a box. Hard stop, we're done here, and it was the perfect way to upend that trope. Then later, they cover their bases by having a conversation between Russo and Vicky where it's discussed that there's nothing wrong with making money on Onlyfans, as long as you're the one deciding whether you want to do it or not. I thought the whole thing worked really well, it was taking a trope that we see in a lot of movies like this, and altering it to fit the overall ethos of the film.

Finally, I live in South Philadelphia, which has a lot of Catholic people, and a lot of dive bars that you may not be welcome in if you're not a local or with a local. I say this because it really informed my understanding of the opening scene where Mary Magnum takes out a bunch of guys in the dive bar. When she first enters, the guys are giving her a hard time, to the point that it looks like they're going to assault her before she whips off her robe and starts shooting. I don't think you'd see that in a South Philly bar, they'd welcome her, have her pull up a chair, and start asking her for spiritual advice on things. I imagine the nun wouldn't be able to relax. I don't think there'd be a sense of "we need to be on our best behavior," but I don't think they'd be fresh with her either. I also think they'd help her find whoever she was looking for if she needed to find someone. Now, this is all supposition, I haven't actually been in a dive bar down here when a nun walked in, but I think my understanding of what would happen is pretty accurate.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can rent this on VOD on Prime for $5. If you want to put your money behind an indie project, and want to be thoroughly entertained at the same time, this is worth checking out. Thank you to Robert for having me look at this one, I had a great time!

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt43700107

Onlyfangs (2025)

This was another screener request from producer/publicist Joe Williamson, and considering how well a lot of the ones he's sent us have been, I was excited to check this one out too... until I saw the almost 2-hour runtime. I finally took the plunge though and made it happen, so let's see how it did.

Onlyfangs is about a group of vampire ladies who finally rise up against the evil vampire master who had kept them enslaved, and cut out on their own. While their leader Scarlett (Nina Lanee Kent), and two other veteran vampires in the group, Selena (Adriana Uchishiba) and Zooey (Meredith Mohler) head out to bars and other guys hangouts to feed, newly minted vampire Reese (Kansas Bowling) goes on dates and feeds that way. After she bites Wes (Drew Marvick), and he doesn't die, he comes up with the idea of Onlyfangs, a site where guys can pay to have hot vampire women bite them. He gets his sister Gwen (Jessa Jupiter Flux) to do the camera work, and they go to work, creating the newest internet sensation. But then trouble starts. First, Scarlett wants more power; and then a MAGA senator (Ellie Church) starts investigating them. Will everyone live happily ever after?

Overall I really enjoyed this, it brought me back to 90s Full Moon movies or Jim Wynorski horror spoofs. The only thing with those, of course, is they all ran under 90 minutes, some even under 80 minutes, while this is clocking in at close to two hours. Watching it I can see why though. The filmmakers, Angelica De Alba and Paul Ragsdale, got a lot of help from people they had worked with before to make this happen, and I imagine when you get that kind of support, especially from people you're friends with, it's hard to tell them after "hey, remember those hours you put in helping us? Well, unfortunately we had to cut your scene from the movie." Look at the biggest movie right now, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Rosario Dawson was all excited to tell her family she was in it, and then her scene was cut. And so if I'm De Alba and Ragsdale, I'd rather keep the scene and make someone like me afraid to watch it for the runtime, than have to have that conversation with a friend. And to be fair, that's probably the only real issue I have with the film. The messaging the filmmakers wanted to get across is clear, everyone seems like they're having a great time, and other than that runtime, it's everything I want in a horror comedy. Joe sent us another winner!

The standout for me was Kansas Bowling's Reese. To some extent she's so good that it undermines the ensemble quality the film was going for, because we'd lose her for periods of the film while other characters were being developed, but she was so strong in her performance that it was hard to not want the thing centered on her. She's able to naturally have every scene she's in iris in on her, seemingly without trying, which is a rare quality, and one that can enhance a film on a lower budget and help it get more for its money. I thought this was our first time seeing her on the site, but that's not true, she was in Steven Seagal's last movie, Beyond the Law, I believe as a sex worker who was addicted to drugs. Looking at her IMDb, the upcoming or recent one that stands out is Dire Duplicity, the new one from Neil Breen. I've only just started on Neil Breen's filmography, so I'm new to his stuff, but the fact that she's in one of his films is intriguing to say the least, and one I have to see. Back to this film, I wouldn't say her performance makes the film, because there are so many great performances here, but her natural ability to standout and steal scenes is a key reason why this film works so well overall.

There were a few core messages in this film, but one that stood out to me is the fact that when we work for a big corporation, they're exploiting our labor, and giving us a fraction of what our labor produces in exchange. Inside that message is a further message that people who look down on sex workers, like someone who makes money on Onlyfans, should look at how they and their own labor are being exploited first. As someone who both has a day job and wishes I could be making money to support myself with my site, podcast, and books, I totally get it. I used to look at it as I was making this sacrifice to a corporate overlord to allow me to do the things I want, but there is no quid pro quo, the moment they no longer see your labor as having any value, you're out, and beyond any severance, there's no thought to you as a person and what losing your job might mean; and to be fair, if someone came to me and said "I'll pay you what your current salary is to make your podcast and site," once I signed that contract the next email would be my two weeks notice--though to be fair again, the company would still be able to pay its bills without me. All that to say, beyond the fact that I don't think we should judge sex workers, including ones who earn money on Onlyfans, I always respect people who have found a way to make money doing what they love to do, outside of the corporate wage slavery system, and I wish we all could do it.

As this is an indie screener, I wanted to use this paragraph to highlight some other names in the film. First, we had four others that we've seen on the site in other films. First, Drew Marvick, our leading guy, played a man dealing with housing insecurity in Tony Schiena's The Weapon, which was also on podcast episode 135 with Ty. He's been in a ton of low-budget horror films, and he was a lot of fun here, so I'll have to check out more of his stuff. Then we had Adriana Uchishiba and August Kyss, who were in another Joe Williamson screener, Flesh of the Unforgiven, which had Debbie Rochon. Both were great, but Kyss's part was much smaller, while Uchishiba was one of the core vampires that made the film work. And then there was Ginger Lynn as Marvick and Jupiter's mother. Way back on the fifth day of our site, May 7th, 2007, we did Mind, Body, and Soul that had her and Wings Hauser in it. Here it's a small part, but it's always fun to see her. For first timers on the site, there were three who really stood out to me. First, Nina Lanee Kent, really great as the group leader, almost like a Julie Strain to Kansas Bowling's Shannon Tweed, if you will. And then we had the fourth member of the group, Meredith Mohler, she has an iconic scene where her outfit is similar to a Hooters server, which might be the ultimate dreary corporate job, and then she proceeds to bite a guy's scrotum off. We seem to have a lot of prosthetic penis and testicle mutilation in these screeners, don't we? Finally, Jessa Jupiter Flux as Gwen. Her character goes through one of the biggest changes, and you almost could've had two separate movies, one that focused on Reese getting more in touch with being a vampire, and one that focused on Gwen quitting her job and finding a new life in vampirism. A lot of great performances in this from actors who have been in a ton of stuff I now have to find and watch!

Finally, beyond the fact that one of the stars has the last name Bowling, bowling also plays a part when Scarlett, Selena, and Zooey take out a bunch of pick-up artist bro types at a bowling alley. I recently saw a More Perfect Union video about how bowling has become enshittified. It feels shark jump-ery doesn't, but then you watch the video, and see the jerkoff CEO of Bowlero who's straight out of central casting, and how he's bought up tons of independent lanes and turned them into Lucky Strikes with their strings holding up the pins, exorbitant lane fees, and even more exorbitant Sysco bar food--not only that, he's bought the PBA! I want to rhetorically say "how did this happen?", but we already know the answer. It's been a downhill trend to enshittification since Reagan and neo-liberal economics, with its deregulation and monopolization, and now finally Corey Doctorow came in and gave us a word to describe it all. Fortunately here in Philly, while we do have an enshittified Lucky Strikes, we also have some independent lanes, so maybe I need to go and support them. The problem is, I'm from New England, and we do candlepin bowling up there, which you can't find down here as far as I know. Still, keep your enshittification off our bowling you Bowlero jerkoffs!

And with that, let's wrap this up. This is currently on Pluto and Fawesome here in the States. It is a little long for a horror comedy, but it's also a really fun time, and a great way to support indie films. De Alba, Ragsdale, and the cast and everyone else involved nail the old Full Moon/Jim Wynorski feel of this, which you can't go wrong with.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt23950972/

And check out my newest novel, Mark in Sales, on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

ApoKalypse (2025)

This was an indie screener request from the film's creator, Lutz Geiger, one I had intended to do back in August, so I feel horrible that I'm only getting to it now. Maybe that should be a New Year's resolution, stay caught up on indie screeners. Let's see if I can keep to it!

ApoKalypse is an animated feature that follows Apo (Chris Koehne), a young man trying to get his skateboarding accessory company off the ground with his friend Jamal (Raven Wong), while the two work at a burger joint in the mall called Buns of Steel. The problem is, it's the early 2020s, and while the COVID vaccine is available, a cadre of unserious Americans don't want to take it. That's where the mall's director, Mr. Degeneres (Andrew Helbig), finds a way to get more people to his dying mall: he pretends to be a health influencer who pushes rat poison as a cure for COVID, which causes all these unserious Americans to come to buy it. Unfortunately, one side effect is it turns the people who take it into zombies. Now Apo, Jamal, and Apo's friend Cho (Ao Mikazuri) from the Korean chicken spot in the mall, need to find a way to escape. Will they get out alive?

This movie gets a lot of stuff right, which is great, because we live in unserious times, especially here in the US, so watching something like this acts as a form of catharsis. Beyond the depiction of Karens and other MAGA types and how ridiculous they are, I also liked the depiction of Apo trying to find a way to make money in an economy that's increasingly more difficult for people his age. The other thing I appreciated was the animation softened the grossness of a lot of the stuff that happens, like when a pregnant zombie Karen kicks her baby out, and said baby is swung around by the umbilical cord to attack a fleeing patron, or when we get to the end and the mall is a pile of dead bodies, rotting zombies, and feces, it's a lot easier to take when it's all a series of drawings. There are some moments, especially early on, where scenes take a little longer than I'd have liked to develop, but the entire film clocks in at just over an hour, so none of it hurts too much. Especially after the year we just had, this might help you feel a little better, so it's worth checking out.

The concept of the Karen has grown in the age of social media and viral videos, to the point that content creators have turned to hiring actors to portray Karens in staged scenarios. What I liked here was Geiger was able to bring the concept of the Karen back to the racist elements that it was born from. It wasn't just about entitled upper- and middle-class white women asking to speak to the manager, it's about these specific women using the levers of society at their disposal to harm black and brown people, and that's what we see here, whether it's the Karen on the street trying to get Apo arrested for riding his skateboard, to the one at the burger joint trying to get Jamal fired for not giving her a free water. I think if you hear "zombie Karens" in 2025, you might think of the staged, viral version of that we see today, but that's not what we have in this movie, which I appreciated, and I think helped make this work.

Another area where the zombie metaphor worked for me is in this discussion around what people should do if they have these unserious, uncouth MAGA family members in their lives. It's fortunately not a discussion I've personally had to deal with, but when a close family member would rather eat horse paste than get a vaccine shot, or believes all of the ills of our society come from undocumented immigrants, trans people, and honestly teaching America's racist history in schools, there are no easy answers on how someone should approach that. Older generations have this idea that family relations are important no matter what, and everyone needs to agree to disagree; while younger generations are quicker to go no-contact and spend holidays with friends or alone instead of enduring uncomfortable family situations. That's where the zombie metaphor is best, because sometimes you just gotta get out and save yourself; but then later when Cho's parents are stranded in the mall, Cho convinces Apo to help her save them, because they're not racist zombies, they just give Cho a hard time. It's like, if they're full on zombified, you gotta get out of there; but if they're just a pain in the ass and don't have any abhorrent views, you can't just abandon them to the zombie apocalypse.

You may have noticed that Uwe Boll is tagged in this. He did the voice of the sleeping police officer in the mall, who sleeps through the entire mess, then wakes up and finds a finger in one of his donuts, which he proceeds to remove, lick the chocolate off of, and then toss aside. We haven't seen Boll on the site in almost 11 years, when we reviewed the third In the Name of the King movie. At that time we were close to our unplanned hiatus, we only had two more reviews after that until I came back in 2019, and Boll himself went on a hiatus himself in 2016. He was someone on track to be another Hall of Fame director, and looking at his bio, he has another 7 or 8 movies we could review, which would put him at 15 directed movies, more than enough to get him in. It might be something we look at going into the new year, especially since we're almost finished with Isaac Florentine's filmography, so we'll have open slots for other director posts.

Finally, one area that this film didn't get into as much, is the male equivalent to the Karen, the doughy guy in Ray-Bans with a late 90s goatee that probably wasn't in style when he had it back then, let alone 25 years later. Geiger opts for more militant types, thinner guys with shaved heads, which works, but I always think of that collage of profile pics where all those MAGA guys looked the same. And it is an interesting double standard, because while we have staged viral videos of actors pretending to be Karens, we don't have the same thing with actors playing those types of guys, even though here in South Philly I think you're more likely to see those guys than you are Karens. I'm not an actor, but being a bit on the doughy side myself, and being in my late 40s now, it is interesting to consider if a content creator in this area came to me to play the part of a MAGA guy in a staged confrontation with restaurant workers. I guess first off, if my day job found out they may not take it well, even if it was staged, but that aside, could I do it, especially if the money was good? First I'd need the goatee, which, when it was popular in the late 90s my facial hair hadn't matured enough for me to be able to do the mustache portion, let alone the connector to the goatee, so I've never had that look before. Add on the Ray-Bans for someone who never wears sunglasses, and I think I might scare myself, even before I put on the "These Colors Don't Run" shirt. I don't know what content creators pay for that kind of work--or if they provide their own Ray-Bans and "These Colors Don't Run" shirts, because I can't afford my own Ray-Bans, and without a car it's hard to get to the Shore to buy one of those ridiculous shirts--but if the number was good, maybe something in the four figures range, I could use that money to do some trips to see some ballparks I haven't been to before--again, assuming my day job never found out. I can see the Zoom call now, "hey Matt, what's with the goatee?" "Oh, you know... just trying something new out... you like it?" "Um... as long as you like it, Matt, that's what's important."

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently rent this for $2 on Prime. It's a fun way to support an indie creative, plus I think it's cathartic as well considering the year we just experienced. Lutz Geiger and company do a great job handling these issues, and the animated aspect makes the gross parts easier to manage, so it all worked for me.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27166284

And check out my newest novel, Mark in Sales, on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Small Apartments (2012)

As we close in on Dolph's birthday again, we're running out of movies to review for this occasion. This one is one I'd seen on Tubi for years, and knew I'd have to do it at some point, and with his new one, Exit Protocol, not out for another week, I figured now was as good a time as any. At the very least, it has a pretty prodigious cast, that has to count for something, right?

Small Apartments has Matt Lucas (from Blur's "Country House" video) as Franklin Franklin, a guy whose brother (James Marsden) has been committed, so he lives in a small apartment and wears only his tighty-whities and socks, except when he needs to leave his apartment, when he also dons a coat and a wig. The other thing is he drinks my favorite soda, Moxie, even though I don't know if it was sold in LA. Anyway, his landlord (Peter Stormare) died in his place under mysterious circumstances, and Frank needs to sort this out because the body's starting to smell. As he's doing that, other people who live in his apartment building, like James Caan, Johnny Knoxville, and Juno Temple, have things going on, but they're only so fleshed out; then Frank runs into the kinds of issues people disposing of bodies in indie movies inevitably run into. Will he manage to get out of this situation?

The best way I can describe this is the people involved, like director Jonas Åkerlund and writer Chris Millis (whose novella of the same name this was based off of) had seen a lot of quirky 90s indie flicks, and they understood that those movies had certain elements, like buildings and cars and clothing that were seemingly from another time; or characters with quirky, off-beat traits, like the main character blowing a big Alphorn and only wearing underwear; but they couldn't replicate the actual DNA that made those movies work. There's a connective tissue that this was missing, pieces of characters and storylines that were left unfinished, never fully realized, so when they came to some kind of conclusion I didn't know them well enough to feel anything. In a way it's kind of fascinating to see what other people took from those movies, I wanted to connect with the characters, while the people who made this were focused on their surface quirkiness and things like off-beat settings and shot composition. Those things can be fun too, they just aren't what I look for in a film. If you do, or if you're a completist of one of the many names in this, you may want to give it a look, especially since it's on Tubi. One other thing, the music was done by Per Gessle from Roxette, so it's a bit better than what you'd expect from a movie like this.

It's time for the man of the hour though, Mr. Dolph Lundgren. This is his 75th film on the site as he celebrates his 68th birthday. And this probably is a good 75th movie, not in that it's a really big role or anything, but because he's not in it much, so it's more one you get to after you've done most of the bigger roles first. That's not to say it isn't a great part, Dolph plays a self-help guru type with his own self-help book and everything, and Dolph plays him as well as you'd want him to, with his dark hair, joining the Mile High Club with flight attendant, etc. The whole thing was a lot of fun, and just adds to this journey we've taken with Dolph over the past 18 years or so, where we've seen him play all manner of characters--or rather, mostly kick-ass action dudes, so to see him not play one here, and do a great job with it, was worth it, even if I could've taken or left the rest of the movie. Here's to you Mr. Lundgren, you're the greatest, and Happy Birthday!

There are a lot of names in this, but one I thought I'd never see on the site is Billy Crystal. Growing up in the 80s he was one of the biggest stars, especially with things like When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers. My personal favorite was Running Scared, with Gregory Hines they were two off-beat cops on the edge, I remember first seeing that on The Movie Loft on WSBK TV38 and loving it. You'd think this would be our first time for James Caan too, but he was in Santa's Slay, so we've seen him one other time before. The other one I thought we'd seen on here before was Johnny Knoxville, but this is his first appearance on the site too. Throw in Juno Temple, who we haven't reviewed on the site, but I covered Venom: The Last Dance on a DTVC Extra podcast where we looked at the Sony Spider-Verse Without Spider-Man, so she's been associated with the site in some way before. Anyway, all four of them played characters that could've been compelling, but were never properly developed, so we just get strands of them throughout the film, and then we're supposed to pretend these strands have magically formed into a sweater, but it's hard to make the mental leap to sweater when we've only had strands, so when we get to some sort of end to their strands of storyline, we can see that the sweater would've looked nice, had it actually been finished. Anyway, it's fun to see names we don't usually see, so reviewing something like this that we don't usually do gives us that opportunity.

One of the film's bright spots is it features my favorite soda, the official soda of Maine, Moxie! The movie took place in LA, and my understanding was you couldn't get Moxie outside of Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and maybe parts of the other three New England states (and according to Wikipedia, Pennsylvania?), but it looks like maybe in the early 2010s there was a push to sell it in more places, which might have meant it was sold for a short period in LA? Or was it just the quirkiest of quirky sodas that Matt Lucas's character could drink? I've always liked it, but since I moved to Philly--where it's not sold--it's something I have to have now when I visit my family in Maine. You also may have noticed that on my video appearances on Jon Cross's podcasts, or on some of the original YouTube videos I've been making, I wear my Moxie hat, so I'm always excited to represent it. If you ever get a chance to try it, you may not be a fan, because it's an acquired taste, but once you've acquired it, I think you'll like it. Also note: they no longer use that logo, they're back to something more like the original. That one in the image I think was only around for a short period of time.

Finally, I don't want to give away too much, but one of the characters tells Matt Lucas's character that you need to live life to the fullest, and that time wasted is time lost. It sounds profound in theory, but in reality, humans can't live like that, they need some level of routine and mundaneness. The problem is, in a capitalist society, routine and mundaneness doesn't compel people to spend above their means. If I just need a car to get to and from work, I'll get a cheap sedan; but if I think I'm going to spend every weekend white water rafting and rockclimbing, I need a more expensive, gas-guzzling SUV! And then I can feel like a schlub when it sits in the yard while my rockclimbing gears collects dust because I just want to relax at home and eat Doritos. Social media is even better for this kind of thing, because you have your friends and family showing you how they're going on vacation to exciting places to make you feel like you have to be out there doing stuff too, they're like free advertising the moment you see that SUV commercial or travel credit card commercial again. Now, this isn't to say you shouldn't take advantages of the moments you have to experience new things, that's important too, but what we need to do is re-normalize the normal, or celebrate the smaller new experiences, like watching a new movie, or visiting a new coffee shop. Forget "wasted time is time lost," let's stop worrying about making the most of every minute, and just live. At least that's what I'm doing.

And with that, let's wrap this up. As of this writing you can get this on Tubi here in the States, and I think that's been the case for roughly as long as Tubi's existed. If you're a completist of any of the actors in this, then check it out while you can for no cost other than sitting through some mobile casino ads.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1272886/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Invasion Force (1990)

This is one we covered on the podcast, back in December on episode 191, with Chris "The Brain" Kacvinski from Bulletproof Action, and it was time to cover it on the site as well, especially considering we hadn't done any AIP in a while. In addition to us, Chris has covered this on Bulletproof, as have the guys at Comeuppance.

Invasion Force looks like it's going to be about David "Shark" Fralick kicking ass and taking names. Not so fast, cowboy, turns out this is just a movie that's being made, none of this is happening for real. As luck would have it though, Richard Lynch is in the vicinity training mercenaries for a plan to take over the local town, which would then lead to them taking over the whole country. As luck would have it for them, they have no idea a movie is being shot on the other side of the mountain, and when they happen upon the film's leading lady, Renee Cline, arguing with her boyfriend, who just happens to also be the film's producer, David Marriott (the Basher from Shotgun), they kill him, but she survives and escapes back to the set, where she tells the director (Walter Cox) and some of the crew what happened, and they decide to load up on all the live ammo they have, and use all their special effects know-how to take these baddies on. Will they survive?

This is another fun time from AIP. Maybe not at the level of a Deadly Prey--though I think this shows they were more self-aware than we may have though with that movie--it's still pretty solid, and has a lot to like. Lynch is exactly the scene-chewing lead baddie you want, and the fact that he plays this whole thing straight adds to its charm. Cline and Cox were also fun as the leads--love that as the name of a legal comedy about two lawyers that were married but now divorced, and have to keep the practice alive--or I guess just the name of a personal injury firm that you see billboards of on the highway, "Cline and Cox will fight for you!" Then there's all the little extras that add to the enjoyment, like the product placement, this time Anheuser-Busch, especially at the cast party with the massive Busch beer can that looked like something from MTV Spring Break; or that the Basher from Shotgun is in this, and gets a great death scene. The fact that something like this is available on Tubi is a great thing.

This is our 11th AIP film on the site, which lags well behind other studios, like PM, Cannon, Imperial, and even The Asylum. A big part of that is how a lot of these films weren't as available when I started the site, but also they don't have the number of names those other studios have had. Essentially, we're reviewing AIP movies because they're AIP movies. Yes, you get names like Richard Lynch or DTVC Hall of Famer David Carradine from time to time, but compared to the names those other studios can give us, many of which are Hall of Famers, AIP sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. Even with Hall of Fame recognition, this October we have Imperial going in, because when we tagged them we discovered they had over 30 movies, so AIP will have to wait another year, but hopefully in that time I'll do a better job of getting more of their films up, because they have so much great stuff.

Speaking of finally getting a tag, David "Shark" Fralick somehow hadn't been tagged to this point, so we took care of that, which makes this his 15th film on the site. I haven't done a count of which first names are represented the most, but you'd be surprised how many Davids we have, it's right up there with Michael and William/Bill/Billy--I mean this film also has director David Prior and producer David Winters tagged. Anyway, Fralick is one of those guys that we see in a lot of these, and while he may not be the guy you seek out--even though he is on the cover of this one--he's one that when you see his name in the cast, you feel like it's got a bit more weight to it. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to tag him, but if any film would be worthy of him getting the tag, it's this--even though his cover is a bit of a red herring, and his part is more in line with the size of the parts he usually gets.

That 15 for Fralick is one more than the film's main baddie, Richard Lynch, a name that's been up for Hall of Fame consideration almost since we started the site, and it seems like every year he gets pushed back. I don't see that changing this year unfortunately, as we have slots already taken for Cole S. McKay, the aforementioned Imperial Films, and Kathleen Kinmont. He's such a fantastic baddie, and this film reaffirms that--as if you needed any reaffirmation, but it's nice to see it anyway. He's almost exactly playing the part he played in Invasion USA, except he wasn't Russian in this. That could've made it even more fun, but he was plenty fun enough. Exactly the baddie you want, every time, and here is no different.

The word "meta" gets thrown around a lot. I looked into it, and technically the term has been around since the late 80s, but it wasn't until later that it became a popular term. For kids reading this that are used to using the term, this movie is definitely "meta" before anyone would've really referred to a movie as "meta." Can you still call it "meta" when it was made before people called things "meta?" It's like "Yacht Rock," music that we called "Soft Rock" or maybe "AM Gold," was called "Yacht Rock" by some Gen Xers, and the term took off among a bunch of kids who like to call things "meta." The thing is, language is always changing, and this is just part of that. For example, I saw the word "nonplused" in Nabokov's Pnin the other day, which means "surprised" or "perplexed," but here in the US there's been a "nonplussed" definition shift to meaning "couldn't care less," probably because people initially confused the meaning, and enough people perpetuated the confused meaning that it's now become the meaning. It's how language evolves, except in my novel Chad in Accounting I used it with it's official, intended meaning, and now people who only understand its meaning as the new, US definition-shifted one, would be confused, as they would if they read Pnin. What I'm trying to say is, no, in 1990 this movie wasn't "meta," but due to changes in language, it's "meta" now, whether we like it or not, because that's "literally" how language evolves. (Like what I did there?)

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can get this on Tubi here in the States. I think that's a great way to go, though if you see this on VHS at a good price somewhere, it would be a fun addition to your collection. And if you haven't yet, you can check out the podcast episode I did with Chris from Bulletproof, episode 191 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0238314

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Pure Danger (1996)

This is one that I probably should've seen a long time ago, let alone covered by now, but I hadn't, until Jon from The After Movie Diner had me on his show to discuss it--which, as of my writing hasn't been released yet, but it was a fun conversation, so keep an eye on our socials for when it is live, possibly on his new PM Entertainment Podcast instead. In addition to us, Chris the Brain at Bulletproof Action has covered this as well.

Pure Danger has Howell (who also directed) as Johnie Dean (yes the name on the cover--"Between the two stars' names there is THE MAIN CHARACTER'S NAME"), a short-order cook on parole, who, with Becky (Teri Ann Linn), the server at the diner he works at, come into possession of a sack of diamonds. They're on the run from competing gangs of criminals that want to get their hands on them, and when Howell goes to his old friend (Rick Shapiro) to try and fence the ice, they end up back in the orbit of the gangsters that want to kill them. It's a wild, Spiro Razatos-action-directed ride as Johnie and Becky try to survive and get a better life for themselves. Oh, and Carrot Top appears in the final chase.

This is the fun PM ride you came for, but also it has other elements that make it even better. The C. Thomas Howell direction is fascinating. It's not like the ones Wings Hauser did, this is like wacky Tarantino, with his main character Johnie yucking it up with his mustache. Then there's the Italian gangster stereotypes, which PM was always kind of fond of anyway, but Howell has them ramped up to eleven--and perhaps 9 or 10 would've been better, because part of that ramping up to 11 is them using the N word a lot, especially directed at Leon, who's the leader of the other gang. While it feels like it's biting on Tarantino's use of the word in Pulp Fiction, in a way it also reveals how bad that was too, if that makes sense. Speaking of "if that makes sense," Carrot Top is driving a delivery truck in the big finale chase sequence. Yes, you read that right, and it's not someone who looks like Carrot Top that I'm calling Carrot Top for laughs. And the thing is, this is Carrot Top in a Spiro Razatos-action-directed chase, so it's next-level on its own, but then you add in Carrot Top and you have the kind of bonkers beauty you only find in the world of DTV. I don't put it above The Sweeper, but once you've seen that, you have to see this.

We're now at 48 PM flicks on the site. That's right, the 50 Club is in sight, and I have Steel Frontier already in the can from my guest spot on Jon Cross's PM Entertainment Podcast (episode number 3 in his archives), so we already have 49 slotted in. I recently updated my PM Letterboxd list to go from 10 to 15 movies, and this one slots in at 14 all-time. In the post-Pulp Fiction era, where the world of DTV was under constant attack by indulgent filmmakers trying to make talky, ironic gangster flicks, PM told Howell he could make his own, as long as it fit PM's rule of having action sequences every 15 minutes or so. Then they gave the action sequences to Spiro Razatos to direct, so that alone meant this was going to be great. From there though, because Howell was given the freedom to do what he wanted outside of the action, he could really go for it, with these crazy caricatures that both mock and pay homage to the genre he's working in. I think if this were made today, they'd tone down the use of the N word by the Italian gangsters--and maybe make them less stereotypical too--but outside of that, I don't know that something this fantastic would be made in the modern DTV world, which is too bad, but at least PM made it in 1996.

Spiro Razatos is closing in on the 30 Club, now with 27 films on the site, and according to IMDb we still have a lot of stuff of his from the 90s to cover, so the 30 Club shouldn't be a problem, maybe even this year. He brings it again in this one, with action sequences that lead to action sequences, shootouts that turn into foot chases, then car chases, which culminate in massive explosions. One thing he did a lot of in the final car chase was have two cars come together to smash into a third car in between them. It looked a lot like what he did in the Venom car chase, where Venom used his tentacles to smash cars together. I think that's part of what's so fun about his PM work, beyond how bonkers and beautiful it was, is you can see how he took some of these things in 90s DTV flicks, and used them in major productions that were earning $750 million to $1 billion at the box office in the 2010s. As a fan of the action genre, Razatos is just at another level, it's the kind of stuff where I'm like hook me up to an IV and mainline it right into my veins, and that's the action he gives us here.

It is kind of crazy that we're not getting to Howell until the sixth paragraph, but it just kinda worked out that way with PM and Razatos as our two Hall of Famers. That begs the question: should Howell get in? And it's a fair question, because he has some classics, to which I think we can add this one. We've inducted people with fewer films than him, and he now has two signature films in this and The Sweeper, so it's worthy of consideration, but we also have a stacked line-up of inductees for 2025 already, like Cole S. McKay--who we discovered upon finally tagging him belongs in the 50 Club!--Imperial Films, Daniel Bernhardt, and Kathleen Kinmont. That kind of locks things up for 2025, but there's always 2026, right? And if you're looking for Hall of Fame caliber Howell, after The Sweeper this is it. He's yucking it up with his mustache, but at the same time he's giving us a unique perspective, taking full advantage of the leeway PM gave him. This is the fourth Howell-directed film we've seen on the site, after The Day the Earth Stopped, War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave, and The Land That Time Forgot, all of those being Asylum films, and so it's probably no surprise that the first of his two PM films he directed that we're covering here shoots to the top of the list.

Finally, when we see Donny "Don" Most as Howell's parole officer early in the film, I figured he'd have this seventh paragraph locked up, and I'd spend it talking about Happy Days, maybe getting into how the "Jump the Shark" episode didn't kill the show, that they actually went on for another 5 seasons, many of which as the top-rated comedy in America. I was mentally drafting the paragraph as the film went on, only to discover Carrot Top--yes, the Carrot Top, Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson--driving the delivery truck in the final chase scene. What do you do with that? You just sit back and love it, that's all you can do. Looking at his IMDb, he was also in the Howell-directed Hourglass, so they must have been, or maybe even still are, friends, which may explain something else. Courtney Thorne-Smith appeared with Howell in the volleyball classic Side Out (another plus for Howell's Hall of Fame case). When Carrot Top was making Chairman of the Board, did Howell suggest Thorne-Smith for his leading lady in that film? Which would mean Side Out set in motion a series of events that led us to Thorne-Smith going on Conan O'Brien to do publicity for the season finale of Melrose Place, where Chairman of the Board was mentioned, and Norm MacDonald famously took it down. Also mentioned in that appearance, Donny "Don" Most, so it all comes full circle.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently this is on YouTube, Fawesome, Plex, and the Roku Channel here in the States. I mention all of these, because some have edited-for-TV versions, so you want to be careful of that. The YouTube one is uncut, so that one's safe. This is another fun PM ride, well-worth checking out.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117406

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Don't Mess With Grandma (2024)

This is one that had been on my radar because it stars DTVC Hall of Famer Michael Jai White in it, and when I saw it was on Tubi, I had to make it happen. I wasn't sure what to expect from it, but hopefully if we get enough MJW we'd be okay.

Don't Mess with Grandma features White as JT, a guy who has a job making deliveries for Meals on Wheels during the day, then drives two hours to help his grandmother (Jackie Richardson), who lives alone. This time, while drinking some rum and fixing her bathroom sink, he finds three perpetrators wearing pig masks and brandishing knives in her living room. Fortunately he was former special forces in Kosovo, so he made easy work of them. Unfortunately, they're working for bigger fish, like Billy Zane, who come back. What they're after, JT has no idea, but he can't call the cops because they cut her phone line, and he left his phone in his car, so now it's up to him and his grandmother's dog Rufus to fend these people off--but to do it as quietly as possible so it doesn't disturb his grandmother.

This was pretty fun, but I read online that the budget didn't come in right away, so the filmmakers had to shoot out of pocket to start, which meant there was no rehearsal budget, and that was evident from how some of the interactions went. It's a fun concept though, and White pulls it off as well as you'd expect him too, with his unique blend of comedic chops and martial arts mastery. I think for me the elements become a bit repetitive, even at 80 minutes, which often happens in these siege films, even if the goal is to mix the siege elements with comedic moments. Perhaps with more rehearsal time, those comedic moments would've popped more, which would've mitigated the repetition of the siege paradigm. Overall though, I liked what they were going for, and I had fun, which I think is what counts.

We're now at 27 films for Michael Jai White, so the 30 Club is in sight. I was just excited to see that this was available, because two of his recent efforts, The Island and MR-9: Do or Die are stuck in the limbo that is Starz. The guys at DTV Digest recently covered the second of those two, so maybe that's a sign that one or both films will be released from Starz Purgatory soon. What I loved about White here, is we get both things that he does really well, the action and the comedy. It'll be nice if, beyond his own productions, which do that combination even better, more filmmakers come to him for movies like this. And for his part, despite the issues with the budget, he was invested in making it work, which helped even more. Sure, he can do straight-ahead serious too--Blood and Bone is a great example--but he's unique in his ability to do comedic action, which he shows us again here.

Do you recognize that mustachioed older gentleman? If you said "that's Billy Zane!" you deserve a prize--which I'm not able to provide, but hopefully the knowledge that you deserve it will be enough. We know from other appearances in recent movies that Mr. Zane has been swimming in the Eric Roberts "give me a few pages of script and a decent payday" pond, so to get a supporting character here with more weight to it was refreshing, as was seeing him knock it out of the park. Juxtapose this with Final Kill, which we haven't reviewed yet, but covered on a podcast episode with Ty from Comeuppance (episode 171 in the archives), in which the best Zane we got was him sporting an orange peel on his nose, here he's trying to strangle White, getting bitten by dogs, and walking around with a six-pack of toilet paper taped to his buttocks to stop the bleeding from said bite. This is the fun, offbeat Zane we want, but that he usually has to conjure up himself because the material isn't giving it to him. In this film they make sure to give it to him, and as I said above, he hits it out of the park.

Of all the supporting cast, the standout from an action fan standpoint was Ess Hödlmoser, who played Pam. They had a great fight scene with White, where they really held their own, creating some of the most electric stuff in the film. In looking at their IMDb bio, I don't see anything else in production, which is too bad based on this performance. I could see them as the lead in a smaller-scale actioner, or a supporting role in something led by someone like Michael Jai White. The fear I think is distributors don't want to release something led by someone who isn't a household name, but that's what we're here for. You make the action movie with Ess in the lead, and we'll let everyone know how great it is so they'll go watch it. Easy enough. Hopefully we'll see them again soon!

Finally, how do you not love a good canine co-star? And Rufus definitely earns his money here. This film also touches on a sensitive topic though, violence against animals, because towards the end, even though it's offscreen, Rufus gets the butt end of a rifle to the dome from Billy Zane's character. He's all right, but it's an interesting thing to look at, because even if Rufus violently took out a member of Zane's gang, and gave Zane a nasty bite in the buttocks as well, seeing an animal get it is always tough, at least for me. We usually say it's because the animal is helpless, but Rufus isn't exactly helpless, and as adorable as he is, I don't know how much I'd want to be around him either, yet I still have a soft spot in my heart for him. Earlier in the film, White tricks Rufus into going outside so he can keep him out there, because Rufus isn't all that friendly toward him, but every scene we see poor Rufus lying on his blanket on the outside porch, hoping someone would let him in, I felt so bad for him. It's the reality of having an animal in your movie, even as someone helping out the hero, we don't want to see any harm come to him, at least I don't. 

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can get this on Tubi here in the States. At 80 minutes, with White in the lead, it's not a bad deal, even if it might have been repetitive in spots. Now we just need Starz to free the other new ones he's had come out recently!

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27786496

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Jasper (2011)

I first got wind of this film when I watched Jay Harangue's interview with Nathan Hill, the film's star and director, and Nate told Jay this is the one he needed to see. Considering I've now seen three of Hill's movies, Lady Terror, Revenge of the Gweilo, and Alien Love, and I enjoyed all three, if he was recommending this one, I needed to check it out too. In addition to us, Jay Harangue has covered this on his YouTube channel, and Romey Norton covered it on Film Focus Online.

Jasper has Hill as the eponymous hero, a private dick who was just about to retire, when a lady of the night (Sandy Greenwood) calls in his services to find her kidnapped son. No sooner do they get it on, when a couple of baddies show up, take her, and give Jasper a knock upside the head. When he comes to, he realizes he's the only one who can save her and her son, so he loads up on Red Bull and gets after it, going from hooking up with women every place he goes, to getting beaten up every place he goes, but at each stop, he gets clues that bring him closer to the truth. The question is, will there be anything left of him when he finds it?

Like Nate's other films, this was a ton of fun. I like Gweilo best, but this is pretty close. It plays on all the tropes of the Noir-ish thriller, and almost hits you over the head with them, but there's still the right amount of playing it straight that makes it work. A big part of that is all of the women who play opposite Hill, they're all in, and if they weren't, the veneer of playing it straight layered over the goofiness and tongue-in-cheek vibe that makes this whole thing so much fun would break down. I also like how Hill mitigates the low-budget limitations of the film with the goofiness that everyone is playing straight, because it sets Jasper in this surreal world that's just real enough to be believable--and this surreal aspect is furthered by the video game animations of the character in the opening credits. 75 minutes, free on Tubi, and a fun time, it's a perfect combination.

I could say Nate's done it again, but this is actually the oldest of his films that I've reviewed, so the other ones were more doing it again. Either way, I just love how he nails this spoof of hard boiled detective films, but in a way that no one but us as the audience is in on the joke. I also loved that as the hero, he both gets all the girls, but also gets beaten up the whole time. In many cases his attempts to hook up are interrupted by the baddies coming to beat him up, which makes it all the more fun. Because he's directed many films, he has a clear voice and tone in his films, and with this being the fourth one I've seen, I can tell early on that I'm watching a Nathan Hill film. When he was on the podcast, more to discuss his latest film, Alien Love, he did get into this one some too, and mentioned that because he's an actor himself, as a director he's able to get a lot of buy-in from the cast, and that's something I think really comes through in the finished product.

Of those many performances, I think my favorite was Sarah Howett, who played Sara the Boxer. Obviously as a professional in real life, she was really skilled, but the screen presence was solid too, especially for her not having acted as much. It looks like she hasn't done much since this, and what she has done haven't been big parts. One name that comes to mind when seeing her is Mimi Lesseos, who had a nice career in the 90s with a few leading roles in DTV actioners. I don't know how much DTV action is shot in Australia, but I think some of the ones coming out of England right now could use her, especially since she also does stunt work. Another name that stood out was Candice Day as Coffy, who's actually played a few Coffys in her short film career, but on the pod Nate explained that in this instance it was an homage to Pam Grier's Coffy, which Tarantino was also a fan of, and as a fan myself, I thought that was really cool. It was a short, but fun scene.

As you're watching this, you might notice there's a lot of Red Bull. Jasper drinks it a few times, it's conspicuously sitting on a tray of food in a hotel room, and a bar has stacks of it in a cooler. I asked Nate about that, and he said he asked Red Bull about them helping to fund the film with product placement. The product came, he placed it, but the money didn't follow. It's a lesson to filmmakers trying to get funding this way, that if the product comes, the money isn't guaranteed. A film this brings to mind is Deadly Prey with the New York Seltzer product placement. Considering the van that the baddies drive had a crack in the windshield, I wonder if the same thing happened. David Prior or David Winters were like "sorry fellas, we wanted to fix the cracked windshield, but the New York Seltzer money hasn't come yet!" The Red Bull product placement does end up being a fun element to the movie, just too bad the money wasn't there for them.

Finally, speaking of Red Bull, I have a thing for energy drinks. I don't exactly love the energy or the crash after, but I love how they taste. If I go in the store and see a new flavor of Red Bull, or Monster, or Ghost, or whatever, I have to get it, even if I've already had coffee that day. This might sound like a problem, but luckily energy drink companies don't release new flavors that often, so I can go through the refrigerated case at 7-11 and say "oh, I've already tried the Red Bull Winter Edition," or the Monster Guava Paradise, or the Ghost Sour Apple Sour Patch Kids. You might think that all of the Red Bull in this movie would be right up my alley, but it's just regular Red Bull, I've had that however many times before. It's when I see that they have a new flavor that I get geeked up. Just talking about this makes me want to run to 7-11 to see what other flavors they have.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently stream Jasper, along with many of Nathan Hill's other films, on Tubi here in the States. It's well worth it, this is a lot of fun, and streaming free on Tubi is a great way you can support indie at no cost to you. And for the podcast episode where Nathan talks about this and his other films, you can find that in our podcast archives, episode 183. It was a great conversation, and well-worth checking out.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1691862

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