American Dragons aka Double Edge (1998)

We lost another great one last week, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, one of the consummate movie villains, especially in these DTV films that we love. We'd covered most of the films he'd done in a starring role, so I had to go to one where he's more of a supporting character for his in memoriam post, and I figured this one would do the trick. In addition to us, Chris the Brain at Bulletproof, and Ty and Brett at Comeuppance have covered this as well.

American Dragons has Michael Biehn as a New York cop who gets demoted back to homicide after his undercover case goes bust on him. The murder he's now investigating involves some high-ranking Yakuza and an origami lotus flower left behind for evidence. That draws the attention of a Korean detective (Park Joong-hoon), who comes to New York to help Biehn--he also wants revenge on this lotus killer, because he killed Park's wife and son. As they investigate further, Biehn sees that this case dovetails with his previous one, and perhaps this lotus killer (Byron Mann) might be working with the mob enforcer he was trying to bring down (Don Stark).

Overall this was a fun one. Tight runtime, nice action sequences, especially the final one, and Biehn and Park were a fun combo. It does have its flaws though. Biehn was 42 when this came out, but his character dressed like 19-year-old me in 1998, with his oversized shirts, backwards scally cap, and Airwalk sneakers. What were they going for with that? Was he supposed to be the X Games Cop? From a tonal standpoint, a lot of it felt like this stylish cop thriller, drawing from similar movies from the late 80s that I loved, but then you'd get these goofy buddy cop moments that betrayed that tonality. Finally, for a tight runtime, the movie still had some instances of padding. We had opening credits padding, which I think took three minutes over a black background with nothing happening; buddy cops fighting padding, where our two heroes get on each other's nerves to the point that they have a drawn-out fight that was only there to add to the runtime; and then to cap it all off, we have gym training montage padding, out of nowhere near the end of the film. We also had these elements that I wasn't sure if they helped or hurt things, like Don Stark as an evil mafia enforcer. He's kind of a goofy caricature of the whole thing, which was maybe more intriguing than anything I guess. Again though, those flaws aside, this is a fun one overall, and getting it free on Tubi makes it worth a look.

One factor that tips it in the direction of working instead of not working is Cary Tagawa was the Yakuza head who's in Mann's crosshairs. It's a really small part, but he takes that small part and elevates it to something more. When we think about his legacy, I know for me, we wouldn't be here with this site if it wasn't for him. Yes, Dolph played a big part in that, but it was two films that Tagawa did with Dolph, Showdown in Little Tokyo and Bridge of Dragons, that were pivotal in my love of DTV movies, and neither of those movies work as well as they do without Tagawa. Other standout moments in his career, everyone knows his video game movie villains in Mortal Kombat and Tekken, which he was fantastic in; but a couple others for us DTV fans have to be Soldier Boyz, which is a ridiculous film, co-starring Michael Dudikoff, but something that Tagawa absolutely sells with his performance; and then his turn as the baddie in Kickboxer 2, anchoring that film as we were getting comfortable with Sasha Mitchell taking over in the lead role. With DTV films, where everyone involved is working on tight margins, to have someone like Tagawa that can some in and deliver something special, he's able to elevate things above the budgetary limitations, which is vital to making everything work at this level. That kind of professional approach, and everything else Tagawa brought to the table, will be truly missed. Here's to you Tagawa-san, you were one of the greatest.

This is the second time in the past couple months that we've seen Michael Biehn in a post celebrating someone else. Back in October we saw him in Billy Blanks's Hall of Fame induction post for Timebomb. The thing about him here is he's clearly in his late 30s/early 40s, and he presents that kind of maturity, so it doesn't make any sense that they dressed him like a 19-year-old. Maybe the part was originally meant for someone younger, but when you get Biehn, you've got an adult, not a twentysomething hosting an eXtreme sports show on ESPN2. In a way though, it kind of adds to the charm of the film, like I don't know what to do with this, and while I'm trying to figure it out, a car blows up or there's a shootout or something. And part of what makes me not know what to do with it, is I think Biehn doesn't know what to do with it either. Like when they gave him the leather scally cap to wear backwards, he had to be like "my kids wear stuff like this!" I'm not saying he needed to wear Dad Jeans, I'm just saying dressing him like a 19-year-old diminished what Biehn brings to the table, and he was kind of working up hill to deliver the goods--which he was still able to do.

We always talk about New York being a character in a movie, but what about when the film is shot in Vancouver with NYC establishing shots mixed in? It's like having Bruce Willis in a Randall Scandal and doubling him for three-quarters of the film. Now we're like "that tall bald guy isn't Bruce Willis!" the same way when a scene takes place in a bus station and I'm like "that's not Port Authority!" The thing is though, does it matter if 75% of the viewing audience haven't been to Port Authority either? And to be fair, in 1998, I would've been one of those 75%, my first trip there was about ten years ago when my wife and I got a bus there from Portsmouth, NH. I will say, when it comes to America bucket lists, going to Port Authority at least once should be on that list. It's right near Times Square and Broadway, so you could go after you take in your Broadway show, maybe get an NJ Transit bus to Hoboken late at night, really get a sense of what the city has to offer. The only thing is, NJ Transit is a mess when it comes to fares, you need an Excel pivot table to find out what your trip will cost, though that might be part of the experience, having to argue with an NJ Transit bus driver about your ticket when they won't accept it because it's not for the correct fare zone.

Finally, we'll end with a second paragraph on Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa. In looking further at his legacy, I think he has to go down as one of the best at playing cinematic villains ever. Take Tekken for example. There had to be a thought that "we can't make this movie if we don't get Tagawa to play Heihachi." No one else they could've gotten would've worked as well as he did. And Tagawa wasn't a Hackman or Rickman scenery-chewing villain either, he made sure his baddies were sufficiently bad, there was never any fear of a Destro Effect with him. Even in this movie, where he's a baddie, but not the baddie, you get the sense right away that he's not someone you mess with. Contrast that with Don Stark's mafia enforcer, where we're not sure what to make of the dad from That 70s Show that isn't Kurtwood Smith mean-mugging and killing people. I was trying to think of other baddies in Tagawa's class, like Richard Lynch, but I think Tagawa has more memorable roles; or a Billy Drago, who I think was better at the greasy, dirty baddie, but also doesn't have the memorable roles Tagawa had. We may never see anyone as great as Tagawa again, but that's okay, we saw him, and we have his catalog of movies to celebrate him with.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently get this on Tubi here in the States, which I think is a great way to watch it. For your Tagawa movie in honor of him, you're probably better off with Showdown in Little Tokyo or Mortal Kombat, but if you're looking for a fun actioner that you may not have seen before, and get the added bonus of Tagawa, this will do the trick. Again, here's to you Tagawa-san, you were one of the greatest to do it, and you will truly be missed.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118601

And check out my newest novel, Mark in Sales, on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Crying Freeman (1995)

It's October at the DTVC, which means Hall of Fame month, and the first of our 2020 inductees is someone whose induction has probably been a long time coming, Mark Dacascos, and what better film to do as his induction post. I had been meaning to make this one happen for a while, and not only did I find it on YouTube, but now Prime has it. Among the many other people who have done this one, we have Ty and Brett at Comeuppance, Cool Target, RobotGEEK's Cult Cinema, and Kenner at Movie's in the Attic, so you can see what they all thought as well.

Crying Freeman is based off of a comic of the same name, which has Dacascos as Freeman, a man turned into a killer by a Triad demon, but still maintains some of his humanity, which causes him to cry when he kills. After sparing the life of a woman who witnesses one of his hits (Julie Condra, who became his wife in real life after), Freeman decides to fight the Triad demons that turned him into a killer. The problem is, the Triads don't want to give up such a weapon, so they try to stop him from retiring. Will our hero get out alive?

 

This is the real deal. I think I have Drive as above this on my Dacascos list, but that's a high bar to be under and no knock on how great this is. To me it's a fantastic combination of style and substance that so few action films embrace fully; but this film not only embraces it, it lives in it. The real shame is that it was never released theatrically here in the States, because it holds up with some of the other 90s greats that got those big screen runs. Beyond Dacascos's performance, Christophe Gans as director brings a unique and compelling vision of the action genre which Dacascos appears to be in lockstep with; and then we have fantastic supporting performances by Mako, Byron Mann, Rae Dawn Chong, and Tcheky Karyo, among others. The whole thing just works.

And with this we're inducting Mark Dacascos into the DTVC Hall of Fame here in 2020. The reality is he probably should have been in sooner based on the career he's had and what he's brought to the table, but I went a few years where I didn't induct anyone, and then a few years where I didn't even post reviews, so that meant people like Dacascos who should have been in missed out, and I'm trying to make up for that starting with this year. When you think action lead, Dacascos is on the short list of the best to do it, and this film really drives that home. A well-deserved and long-overdue celebration of one of the best to do it, and if you're looking to get into his films, this is a great place to start.

 

Another great in this who could be someone to consider for a future induction is Mako, whom we last saw in the PM great A Dangerous Place. He doesn't have a big part in this, but he's still a welcomed sight. As I mentioned above, he was one of many great supporting actors in this, and while this is the Dacascos DTVC Hall of Fame celebration post, it is good to give some shine to actors like Mako who often take on supporting roles, but do them so well that it props up the great performances of the leads. Here's to you Mako, you were one of the great ones.

Again, with this being our Dacascos Hall of Fame celebration post, we also still have our continuing mission to get Byron Mann more recognition, so it's good to do that here in this paragraph. His part isn't as big in this, but he's still great. In looking at his IMDb bio, I'm seeing more major TV roles than DTV movies, which in a way is probably better for his career, but wouldn't it be nice to see him in a good DTV actioner? I know I paired him with Michael Jai White in a previous post, but why not Dacascos? Set it in Honolulu, make it a buddy cop thing, and let them get after it. I know a lot of people who would love to see something like that. They had a great fight scene together on the Netflix series Wu Assassins, along with Iko Uwais, which just makes us want more of that. Maybe Seagal on the tin gets views, but Dacascos and Mann get us to watch and spread the word to get more people to watch.

 

Getting back to Dacascos, sometimes we talk about how people end up doing more DTV stuff and less big screen films, and I think if you put this with Double Dragon you can see what happened for him: Double Dragon ended up being a flop, and this great one never made the big screen here in the States. By the same token, just because he didn't get the big screen leads he deserved, doesn't mean he hasn't had a great career, and I hope this post and his induction into the DTVC Hall of Fame will spotlight that. Dacascos really has been one of the best to do it, big screen or not, and he's provided a lot of great moments for us action fans over the years. Truly a well-deserved honor to get Dacascos in, and again, long overdue.

And with that, it's time to wrap this up. Right now you can stream this on Prime. I can't think of a better way to watch this. And for more talk on Dacascos, you can go to the podcast, where I had Ty and Brett from Comeuppance on to discuss his films. It was a great conversation, and a great place to start for people who want to get more into Dacascos's movies.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112750

Absolution aka Mercenary: Absolution (2015)

With this review, Steven Seagal joins the 30 Club. I considered doing something like The Patriot, which we covered on a podcast with DTV Digest's Richard Hawes, but I've had this one in the can for a while now, so I figured it was as good as any to celebrate this milestone. In addition to us, our friends Ty and Brett at Comeuppance, Mitch at the Video Vacuum, and Blueprint Review have all covered this, so you can go to their sites to see what they thought.

Absolution is apparently a sequel to A Good Man (as of this review I haven't seen yet), which was also a sequel to Force of Execution, though none of them seem all that connected other than by the fact that Seagal plays people named "John". Anyway, John is a special ops guy who gets a job to take out a terrorist in hiding in Eastern Europe. He does this with his friend Chi (Byron Mann), who does all the heavy lifting. When they celebrate after, a young lady enters the lounge they're celebrating in, and asks for Seagal's help. She's escaping crime boss Vinnie Jones (known as "The Boss"), who had planned to torture her to death. This is John's chance at Absolution, played out in the same tired "white man saves white slave from white slavery, and she becomes his daughter/lover" trope. Will he pull it off?

You can see why maybe I wanted to do The Patriot for a post like this, because Absolution is kind of the same old same old with Seagal. No reverse shots, plenty of stunt doubles, someone else doing all the heavy lifting--in this case Byron Mann--, it all feels like it's becoming too much. It's almost like it's become a cynical take on the audience as well: we put Seagal on the tin, get him in enough scenes, make this paint-by-numbers script with a few action sequences and Eastern European women in skimpy outfits, and we'll make it available to stream. And the reality is, Seagal gets clicks on my site for the same reason his face on the tin gets streams and Redbox rentals, so it's hard for me not to review them, as I imagine it's hard for producers and studios not to make them. Maybe this is my cue that I need to take a break from Seagal and spotlight some other names--though I have like 4 or 5 more of his movies in the can ready to review, I just need to write them.

I think the big thing is, between Seagal's amazing big screen theatrical output in the late 80s/early 90s, and then the fact that a lot of his 2000s DTV stuff was a lot of fun, it's hard to not come back to these. That's why he's in the 30 Club now, and why at one point, before I went on hiatus, I had all of his DTV flicks reviewed on here. Now we have about 7 or 8 left, so he may not make the 40 Club with Dolph and Gary Daniels, but he's always going to stand out as this legend in the action world, both DTV and big screen, and I don't know if there will ever be enough films like this to make us forget that and make us stop coming back. At the very least, I'm going to be doing those 4 or 5 I have in the can, and depending on when the others are available to stream without paying extra for me, I'll probably make those happen too.

As I mentioned above, Byron Mann is in this as Seagal's partner, but he's the one doing all the heavy lifting. In a way, this is like Sniper Special Ops with Tim Abell, where, like Abell, his name isn't even on the cover--Vinnie Jones gets second billing--but he's really the standout. I would say though, unlike the Abell flick, Seagal is in this one enough to be the lead over Mann, while Abell was the true lead of his film. The thing is, I can't get enough Byron Mann. He was great in Wu Assassins, and was great on Arrow. Yet in all these things, he's never the lead. He's always propping up the lead and making all the scenes better because he's in them, but never the star. I'd love to see something where he is the lead, maybe something like this where he gets to wear tailored suits with no ties, burns a lot of heaters, and then kicks a bunch of guys asses. 90 minutes of that would be amazing.

There's a great podcast I listen to, "I Must Break this Podcast," done by Sean Malloy, who was a guest on our show one time (the link to his podcast page is in the "Other Great Sites" section, or you can do like me and subscribe on iTunes). In a recent episode, he had this film's producer on, Benjamin Sacks, and Sacks talked about doing these movies with Seagal. Essentially it's Seagal coming to them saying "I need another movie," and then they put it together. The thing is though, he was doing so many that he was saturating the market and diminishing his value. If you look at it, right after this in 2015, he has 6 films released in 2016--and even before and after, he's doing at least 2 or 3 a year. And when the movies are all pretty much the same, it does hit that wall of diminishing returns. To his credit, Sacks also said that when Seagal goes for it in a scene, it looks spectacular. Maybe that's what we're all hoping for when we go back to the well ourselves on these, and too many times the bucket comes up dry. (And check out that podcast episode for more great stories from Sacks, Sean does a great job on that interview!)

Keoni Waxman is back as well. We joke that he's the Seagal Whisperer, but I think for a producer like Benjamin Sacks, there's probably an understanding that when Seagal comes asking for another project, Waxman's the guy to get it done with all of Seagal's demands, and done under budget and on time. The other thing he does is lean on the Seagal partner role, in this case Mann. Look at that shot there, total movie star stuff, Rebel Without a Cause. In other films it might be Bren Foster. That's why The Hard Way was a nice change of pace, because he had Michael Jai White as the lead, and could accentuate his part as the star the way he had to do here with a supporting part. Just going idea man here, but what about a buddy cop movie with Mann and White, directed by Waxman? If you're into it, let me know and I'll bang out an 85-page script by next week.

Before this gets to be too ridiculous with me pitching script ideas, I'll reel myself in and wrap it up. As of writing I believe this is on Tubi. I think it is worth it for Byron Mann's performance; but for people who are tired of the standard DTV Seagal flick we've been used to for the past five years or so, this is that same movie. With that in mind, I'd say proceed at your own risk.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3503840

Sniper 3 (2004)

Netflix recently dropped this from Watch Instantly, so I figured I'd give it a look. As of this post, they still have the first one up, while the second is on Hulu, but about to be dumped as well. I don't really like reviewing movies from Hulu, because their interface doesn't work as well for capturing images, that's why we're doing three before two, but I do plan to do two at some point in the future. Also, out buddy Ty at Comeuppance Reviews has done all three of them, including this one we're doing now.

Sniper 3 attempts to go a little deeper into the history of Master Gunnery Sgt. Berenger, looking at his roots as a young soldier in Vietnam. In the present, he discovers from the government that his old pal from the Vietnam War, once thought dead, is actually alive and working as a big time drug kingpin over there. So the government does like any government would do, they send their best aging sniper who was having vision problems in the last installment to take the dude out. But can Master Gunnery Sgt. Berenger take the shot when he gets it?



I think this one is a bit of a miss for me. It had its moments. Byron Mann plays a local drug cop, and he and Berenger have some solid chemistry; but there isn't a lot of action, and some of the punch of the mysterious, stoic, savant we loved in Berenger's character is taken out by this backstory that the film is based around. Also, there was a bit of a Heart of Darkness bent to this, but it was never fully realized, with Berenger's adversary never quite the Kurtz character I'd want in a Heart of Darkness theme. It's possible that this third installment hit the law of diminishing returns, that it was pulling blood from a stone, or trying to cover territory that wasn't exactly there.

I was trying to think of the last time we saw Mr. Berenger here, and I want to say it was our second post ever, Cutaway. That's almost five years since our last Berenger post. And it's not like there's a dearth of good Berenger DTV work out there. Talk about your lost in the shuffle. He's good here, but it's not that iconic performance we got in the first two, or in his other stuff like Platoon. I almost think he was too comfortable in this role, and maybe lost a bit of what made it stand out so much. I don't know if I put that on him so much as the film itself and the way the character was written this go around, but maybe there is something to an actor playing a role too often.



Speaking of which, the Sniper sequels are a bit of a departure from the usual DTV sequels of a theatrical film, in that the original actor is reprising his role. It does happen-- I can think of a few examples-- but usually it's someone else taking over. By having Berenger as Master Gunnery Sgt. Berenger in all three of these films, at the very least it makes me more interested to see them. Would I be less likely to see these sequels and review them if Berenger were replaced by Daniel Bernhardt or Sasha Mitchell? Probably not, but it's a nice change of pace to have the actor from the theatrical original in the DTV flicks too.

DTVC favorite Byron Mann plays a Vietnamese cop with NSA ties whose father just so happened to be a US sniper in the Vietnam War, a sniper who only left behind his seed and his sniper rifle. We get one pretty sweet footchase with him at the beginning, then a semi-decent fight scene at the end, but nothing much in between. Like the Heart of Darkness theme that was never fully realized, the same was true with Mann's potential as a Vietnamese cop in this movie. Why not graft in a couple fight scenes for him? Is Master Gunnery Sgt. Berenger's backstory that important that they couldn't throw in a little more action? And anchored by Mann's too sweet fight skills to boot.



When I watched part 1 again before watching this for the review, I was struck by how firmly 1990s that one felt, and how well that worked for it. Here we're getting into the mid-2000s, and those gimmicky edits and techno scores are apparent throughout. That's a major departure from 1993, where any-- if there are any-- gimmicks feel more natural, or at the very least nostalgic, and the whole vibe just works better. I don't know if we'll ever turn back the clock and get our action movies made more like their 90s counterparts, which is fine-- I can always kill the new ones on here for their gimmicks and enjoy the old ones on DVD or Netflix.

And while this is one of those new ones, it isn't as bad as some. Just the same, compared to the others in the Sniper series, this isn't quite at their level, especially part 1. I'd check that one out while you can on Watch Instantly, and get to this one a little further down the road.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0408196/

Deadly Target (1994)

I first saw this about five or six years ago when it aired on either EncoreAction or ShowtimeXtreme. I actually wanted to review it when I first started the DTVC back in 2007, but I didn't remember enough about it (in fact, I didn't even remember the name!), so I just forgot about it and it was lost in the shuffle. A few weeks ago, though, when I was looking for some films to review because Netflix didn't have available the ones I wanted, one of our readers, Michael, suggested I give this one a try. Of course, as luck would have it, it too ended up not being available, then the storm hit, and everything just got all backed up. Finally, here it is, Deadly Target, in all its glory.

Deadly Target has DTVC Hall of Famer Gary Daniels as a Hong Kong cop in LA after Byron Mann, who's a big time drug dealer. The problem is, Mann's escaped, and Daniels has pissed of the LAPD to the point they don't want him involved. Lucky for him, a hot Asian chick has taken him in, and one dude on the force has taken a shine to him. Now it's only a matter of time before Daniels gets his man.



This is bad 90s action at it's pretty-good-est. I mean, it had some great fights, some great car chases, and some great explosions. Daniels did his thing, and believe me, we've seen much worse from him. Overall, I could dig it. One problem I had was with it though is his female friend who takes him in. She handles herself in a fight and with a weapon as if she's had quite a bit of training, when her character is depicted as a glorified Valley Girl grown up. That's kind of that point where silly becomes too silly for me, and not silly in a way that's awesome, like a car exploding from a minor collision as if it were filled with TNT.

I'm fighting an uphill battle to get all of Daniels' films up here at the DTVC. It seems like for every one film I get my hands on, Netflix makes two unavailable. The most recent victim is Fatal Blade. It could be worse. It looks like Netflix is systematically eliminating all of Jeff Speakman's library. I'm wondering if this isn't Netflix's fault, or rather the individual distributors don't want Netflix to have them. For instance, Albert Pyun's new film, Bulletface, is only available through the website, and not on either Amazon or Netflix (you can download a torrent of it, but I would never do that for a Pyun film, based on the support he's shown us here at the DTVC). Anyway, so maybe I shouldn't be giving Netflix all the blame.



One of my issues with this movie was the lack of a really great fight scene after the initial action. I mean, don't get me wrong, Daniels and his partner, Ken McLeod, were great, but with the studs they had, like Ron Yuan, Byron Mann, and James Lew, we should've been getting some of the best stuff we've ever seen. This shows yet again that you can line up all the talent you want, but if you don't use it, what good is it?

Daniels' love interest is played by Susan Byun, who was in one of my all time faves, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD. I've never really done any Troma films here because I've always looked at them as a different category to what I'm doing. I know this might sound silly, but I've always seen them as an independent film company. With the DTVC Wild Card look at comic book movies winding down next week, I'm considering options for a new series of films to examine, and Troma seems like a logical next choice (another I was considering was vampire movies). I think we'll take a break for a little while though before I start something new.



I don't remember which MST3K episode it was, but in one of them, a dude gets punched in the face, and the fake blood that comes out of his mouth causes one of the 'bots to say "Cherry Starburst." Ever since that time, every time I see a similar effect, I'm forced to say the same thing. I remember at one kitchen job I had, we served this Starburst Cake, and I always called it "Cherry Starburst Cake", and my boss would always be like "why do you keep saying that?" I think he felt like there was some inside joke or pop culture reference I wasn't letting him in on. Anyway, James Lew has an amazing Cherry Starburst moment, and I had to capture it for the blog. It was a thing of beauty.

I'm not really sure you need to throw this on your Netflix queue over anything else you've been considering watching, but if you have a hankering for some Gary Daniels and you've seen everything else, why not give this a shot. At the very least, if it airs on EncoreAction or ShowtimeXtreme, you could do a lot worse than watch it. It's not horrible, it's just, for a mid-90s DTV actioner, it's nothing special, just a solid bad action film.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109573/

Catwoman (2004)

We're kicking off the DTVC's Wild Card post look at comic book movies with Catwoman, the 2004 Halle Berry dud. I had actually never seen this prior to watching it for the review, but from what I'd heard I figured I was in for a bad time. Catwoman is a unique character in the world of comic books, because there really isn't an arch villain as famous that's a woman. It would seem like there's enough material to mine there, so I was curious to see how it went wrong.

Catwoman has Berry not as Selina Kyle, but someone else who works making ads and whatnot for a big cosmetics company run by Sharon Stone's husband, played by the French dude from The Matrix. Anyway, Berry finds out their next big thing, an anti-aging cream, has horrible side effects, starting with headaches and dizziness, to eventually making the user's face disintegrate if she stops using it. They don't like that Berry knows this, so they kill her, but an Egyptian Mau cat that's been following her brings her back to life, with the powers of a cat. Now she has a new lease on life, but first she has a score to settle with her old employers, and has to settle it without her new boyfriend who's also a police detective, played by Benjamin Bratt, catching her.



It would be too easy to just write this off as a sack of asscrack, because it pretty much was. The thing is, as I was watching it, I saw glimpses of potentially good stuff that was just never fully realized, mostly because it was overshadowed by the bad stuff. I could point to specific scenes that were ridiculous, like Berry with her new powers playing basketball with Bratt, where both looked extremely awkward dribbling and shooting. Then there was Catwoman in her outfit awkwardly cutting a rug in some dance club that's situated on a dock amid a bunch of shipping containers. Just the CG images of Berry in her Catwoman outfit running around like a cat were enough to make me laugh. It was just all bad.

To me it was the initial idea that was sautéed in wrong sauce: her becoming a literal catwoman. House cats by their very nature are hilarious, that's why whenever previous on-screen versions of Catwoman would act like a cat, it was done in a tongue-in-cheek manner. Even Michelle Pfeiffer's, which was the most catlike and supernatural, only acted like a cat as a joke or to demonstrate her insanity. I get that this is supposed to be a unique interpretation of Catwoman, using the power of an Egyptian goddess to make a sort of super woman, but a CGI Berry leaping around like a cat, or hissing at dogs in all seriousness, as opposed to as a joke, was something that I just couldn't take seriously, and undermined the film as a whole.



There was also an identity crisis that previous Catwomen didn't have. It was like she was Wonder Woman dressing like Catwoman and acting like a cat. The biggest example of this was the outfit. All the previous Catwomen wore a one-piece suit, as opposed to what's pretty much lingerie with boots and a cape that the usual super heroine wears. What the one-piece skin-tight suit does is create the silhouette of nudity, and nudity is often a sign of submission from a woman to a man, or allowing someone a part of her that she doesn't usually give. At the same time, while she gives this illusion, she also is completely covered, keeping men at arm's length and allowing her to use them for her means. She uses her femininity and perceived weakness against men. On the other hand, Berry's Catwoman is in leather pants and a bra, which is also definitely hot, but doesn't do the same thing that the one-piece suit does. Berry extolled the virtues of this suit on the 30-minute featurette that comes with the DVD, saying how great it was that it showed off her muscles and what not. Yes, if you're Wonder Woman it's great to show off your muscles, but not Catwoman. Catwoman's number one weapon is her faux vulnerability. She doesn't want anyone seeing her muscles at all.

Empire.com had this as number 15 in their top 50 worst films of all time, but one of the reasons they gave for it I thought was actually one of the film's positives. They said the face cream concept was too weird. Really? You don't have a problem with a Joker who gives people Bloody Smiles, but a face cream that never actually does make a woman's face disintegrate because Catwoman stops it from going to market is an issue for you? For me, the Faustian bargain Sharon Stone signs by using the face cream to preserve her looks is just the kind of women's empowerment statement they wanted to make, especially when juxtaposed with her equally aged husband dating a young model. Of course, the statement had two major deficiencies: one, there wasn't an alternative woman to Sharon Stone's villain to hold up as an image of a woman that was still relevant, despite her advanced age; and second, because the writers didn't have a solid idea of what they wanted to do with Catwoman herself, it was hard for any major themes or messages to materialize.



On a different note, Catwoman had a few great people in it that would be recognizable to readers of the DTVC. I already mentioned the French guy from The Matrix. Then there's Byron Mann, who came up earlier this week in A Dangerous Man. Dolph fans may remember Chris Heyerdahl, who played a noisy neighbor in Catwoman, as the guy Dolph beat and then handcuffed to a dirty toilet in Silent Trigger. No spiders tattooed on his chest here. My personal favorite was Peter Wingfield, Methos from Highlander: The Series. I don't know how that dude doesn't end up in everything, he's just so awesome, and of course he was barely used here. Should we have expected anything more from a film that was so, as I said above, sautéed in wrong sauce?

I guess since we're talking about bad comic book movies, a recommendation probably isn't something anyone is looking for, so I'll skip that and go with some final thoughts. This movie was wrong from its conception, and it was wrong in two major areas. First, making Catwoman a literal catwoman was just too silly, and when you're sillier than the 60s incarnations, you have a big problem; and second, they didn't make Catwoman bad enough. Yes, as a villain, she might at times be an anti-hero, but she's no Wonder Woman or Batgirl, and this film was afraid to make her bad enough. From there it was just a mess of awkward scenes, bad dialog, and potentially poignant messages that were loss in the morass of the rest of the film.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327554/

A Dangerous Man (2009)

As luck would have it this week, there's a new Steven Seagal film out, which coincides with the New Orleans Saints Super Bowl victory. I really didn't plan this one, and I'm not trying to get redundant here, it just worked out this way. One could make the point that Seagal's really from Detroit, and just adopted Louisiana as his hometown, so it's only a small connection. Still, when the Celtics won in 2008 and the Red Sox won in 2007, I didn't do anywhere near as many mentions of it as I have the Saints these past two days.

A Dangerous Man has Seagal as an ex-special forces dude (he's always ex-special something, right?) that's wrongly accused of brutally murdering a man he caught trying to carjack his wife. Anyway, after 6 years in the can DNA evidence exonerates him, but his wife left him, he's got nothing, and he's ready to drink himself to death. That's when he stumbles upon two Chinese gangsters offing a state trooper, and he steps in to help a kid that just happens to be in the same area. Turns out the Chinese gangsters were transporting a girl they kidnapped and a lot of drug money, and they want it all back. Bad luck on their part for it all to fall into Seagal's hands.



Netflix often has some interesting synopsises (synopsi?), but this one might take the cake. First, they describe the two Chinese gangsters as "Mexican", which they definitely aren't. I'm not sure if anyone of Mexican decent is in the film. Maybe the guys are Vietnamese, but they aren't Mexican. Second, they referred to it as a "gripping action vehicle" for Seagal. I'd call this movie a lot of things, but "gripping" isn't one of them. This was as paint-by-numbers Seagal as you could get, which wasn't necessarily bad, it was just very predictable and not gripping.

Compared to the last Seagal film we reviewed, The Keeper, it was pretty good. I mean, this is what you want when you rent a Seagal film, I just wouldn't put it at his best. The biggest issue was they fell back into the "Seagal is omnipotent" paradigm, which doesn't do them any favors. He's got to at least take a punch from a bad guy. Especially when you cast Byron Mann as the baddie, a dude who can fight, and who we've seen fight as Seagal's partner in Belly of the Beast. That end fight has to be a showdown, not Seagal beating him down like all the random stunt dudes he deals with for the rest of the movie. I don't know if Seagal's age is becoming a problem, and why most of his fight scenes are herky-jerky deals where he mostly slap chops and occasionally kicks-- and when he does kick someone in this, they fly back like they were hit by a car.



If we look at his last six films, we have the amazing Pistol Whipped (which made my top ten of the 2000s), the duds Kill Switch and Against the Dark, the really good Driven to Kill, and over the past 6 weeks or so The Keeper and A Dangerous Man. What made the good ones good was they went all out with big shoot outs, Seagal in situations he needed to at least think his way out of, and some great baddies; the bad ones threw that paradigm out the window, with Kill Switch being a bad crime drama and Against the Dark a bad rip-off of The Omega Man with barely any Seagal in them. The Keeper tried to be Pistol Whipped but for some reason was afraid to pull the trigger on great action; and at the very least, we can say with A Dangerous Man, he's trending back in the right direction, and the reality is, if you get one good one out of every six Seagal films you're doing well, so with two good and one pretty good we're still coming out ahead.

Somebody was telling me about a conversation he had with a white woman where she said that they feel inadequate compared to Asian women, like they don't measure up well to them or something. She said this to him in a manner suggesting he should be more sensitive to white women on this issue. I'd never heard this before. I know there's the whole myth that Asian women are somehow more submissive, but anyone who's been out in the world even a little bit knows that's just a myth. The only reason why I thought of it is because this film has a fair amount of hot Asian women in it. I'm not trying to be overly PC, but I think all ethnicities have an equal share of hotties and not-so-hotties. I've heard of African American women complaining that African American men prefer white blond women, but I've never heard that white guys prefer Asians. It's possible too that the girl who brought it up was just insecure in general, and is directing her angst at one group of women in general. I don't know, am I just out of the loop on not being aware of this?



This movie was so paint-by-numbers and unremarkable, I decided to switch it up for this seventh paragraph, and give everyone a little something special, so enjoy.


This isn't a bad deal for a last minute Red Box or local video store pick, because it's a fun bad Seagal film, but I wouldn't go out of your way for it until you've seen some of his better ones first. I think I hit the nail on the head in the last paragraph when I called it "unremarkable".

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1360767/

Belly of the Beast (2003)

This is the second to last Seagal DTV film we have to review here at the DTVC, the last being Shadow Man. That, of course, is until The Keeper comes out. Does anyone know when that's going to happen? I will be reviewing Dolph's Cover Up before I do Shadow Man, just because I want to have all of Dolph's DTV films reviewed before Seagal's. Nothing personal for Seagal, Dolph just has a special place in my heart.

Belly of the Beast has Seagal as a CIA agent who works mostly in Thailand dealing with Golden Triangle drug issues. Back at home, he gets word that his daughter and her friend have been kidnapped by an Islamic terrorist organization in Burma or Thailand or something while vacationing in the jungles of Thailand. Now Seagal's gotta go in there and take care of business.



This was pretty good. There were some hilarious scenes where a Seagal stuntdouble was jumping and sliding all over the place. At the end, he's almost felled by a Seagal voodoo doll, and only the backing of a bunch of Buddhist monks praying for him keeps him alive. Then you got this ridiculous effect of a guy shooting arrows and Seagal shooting those arrows with his gun. It was like Wanted, but even funnier. The only thing I didn't like was how they killed off his partner at the end. I've always hated the idea of the guy helping the hero dying for his trouble.

Seagal was great. In 2003 he was only 52 (only 52!), and seemed a little more spry. I imagine at that age it must go pretty quick. I was listening to a couple of dudes in their 60s today talk about how Tiger Woods was getting old and past his prime. Tiger? The guy would've been a couple classes ahead of me in high school. And from Seagal's standpoint, at Tiger's age, he still had another five years before his first movie. Anyway, this is classic Seagal, and you'll dig this one.



One thing I didn't like was how they killed off his friend at the end. The guy was played by the guy who played Ryu in Street Fighter, and he was awesome-- a great sidekick for Seagal. How is he thanked for his great work? They kill him off. I'm sorry, it's just one of my pet peeves. It makes the hero less heroic for him to be alive and his friend that helps him dead. This is even worse when the guy is as cool as this dude was.

I haven't traveled that much in my life. England and Scotland, the bulk of the Northeast, all the major cities on the West Coast, the east coast of Florida from St. Augustine to just north of Miami, and San Antonio. Again, not much, so I don't know what weight my opinion has in this matter, but why would anyone vacation in the jungles of a Third World country? Aren't you just asking to be captured by insurgents? Especially if you're an American. I wouldn't go to Juarez right now for fear of something happening to me, forget the effin' jungle in Thailand.



I haven't seen Taken with Liam Neeson, but the plot sounds pretty similar. Is that possible? Did a mainstream movie company see Belly of the Beast and repackage it with a star like Neeson and release it to a mainstream audience? It just shows that what's popular and considered entertaining to people is less about the content, and more about how it's sold to them. Seagal, bad. Neeson, good.

This is a sweet deal. I'd put it in the top half of my Seagal DTV work. It gets plenty silly at points, and you may find yourself saying "What the hell am I watching?" Just go with it. If you take it too seriously, you'll be sorely disappointed. It should also be noted that this film is better when viewed in a group.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0357474/