Tough Guys Don't Dance (1987)

We lost one of the greatest to ever do it this past week, Wings Hauser, and I wanted to review something in his honor. This is one I'd done recently for Jon's After Movie Diner podcast (season 2, episode 20), after having read the novel not long before that, so it was in the can, had a prominent Wings, plus the added benefit of being a Cannon film. In addition to us, and on the After Movie Diner, Mitch at the Video Vacuum has covered this as well.

Tough Guys Don't Dance is based on the novel of the same name, directed by the novel's author, Norman Mailer. It follows Provincetown, MA author and pot farmer Tim Madden (Ryan O'Neal), who wakes up after a night of partying with no memory of what happened, but a front passenger seat of his car covered in blood, and a couple heads in plastic bags in his weed stash. He tells us and his father (Lawrence Tierny) all this, which comes though in flashback format, and we learn that one head may be his estranged wife (Debra Stipe), and the other may be a woman he met at a bar (Frances Fisher). But did he kill them? And if he did, why isn't sheriff Wings Hauser arresting him? He needs to figure it out before the murders get pinned on him!

This is a fun, fascinating ride. Is it a parody of hard boiled detective thrillers? Is it Norman Mailer's mess of a movie that he's trying to pass off as parody because it didn't do well? Does any of it even matter? Yes and no. The no is the bonkers nature of the whole thing, especially with the cast, and the beautiful Provincetown scenery--including Mailer's house. The yes is the fact that much of the film is told in flashback form, which is not how it happens in the novel. I just don't find it to be a great storytelling device, but for whatever reason Mailer felt like that was the way to go. Again, it's a fascinating ride, especially considering the novel is more straight-ahead solid, to have the adaptation be this, and perhaps be this because the original author was too involved, and that he went too far away from his source material. But sometimes we need a bonkers, fascinating ride in our films, and this thing fits the bill.

And in true Wings fashion, he adds to that bonkers-ness in the way that only he can. When I read the novel, I didn't see him as the character he played, but in this Mailer film adaptation, he's perfect for this version of the character. Larger than life, makes you uncomfortable in every scene he's in, but also making the film better for all of it. Honestly, I don't know if one review is enough of a tribute to him, as he contributed so much to the kinds of movies we love, whether they were PM actioners, PM neo-noirs, Nico Mastorakis horror, Jim Wynorski Erotic Thrillers, or films like this where a Norman Mailer needed his frenetic energy. I think if you were looking for something more traditional to celebrate Wings, one of his PM flicks or Mastorakis flicks is probably a better bet; but if you want to go outside of that, or you've seen all of those and are looking for something new, this is a great way to go. Here's to you Mr. Hauser, you were one of the greatest, there will never be another like you, but we're all fortunate that we at least had you.

This was the fourth work of Mailer's I'd read, after The Naked and the Dead, The Armies of the Night, and Barbary Shore, and I'd probably put this third behind those first two I listed. The best way to describe the novel is from one of the reviews, which likened Mailer's foray into the hard-boiled detective genre to "Julia Child making a hamburger," which, while it's still a hamburger, it's a next level hamburger. The movie's something else. It's not an elevated hamburger, maybe it's more like the guava-flavored ice cream I got recently, or maybe even better, the current guava flavor of Monster energy drink. And if I were to think of who Mailer was, the idea that he'd make a guava-flavored Monster energy drink of a movie adapted from his elevated hamburger of a novel makes a lot more sense than this sentence does, at least to me. The movie has the feel of me after taking my lunch break at work, and deciding to stop at 7-11, and seeing the new guava flavor of Monster energy drink, knowing I have to try it. For the first hour I'm back at my desk, I'm full of energy, but I can't focus, I'm all over the place. The first part of the second hour I'm getting a few things done, but the sugar and caffeine speedball are wearing off, and by the second half of the second hour, I'm done and ready to crash. The only difference between this film and my post break on an energy drink work experience, is at you can have fun with the movie, and I think ultimately, whatever Mailer does here, it's fun.

Oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! According to the trivia, Mailer told O'Neal he was going to take that out, but then when he saw it, he liked it, so he kept it. O'Neal felt betrayed, because it made people think he couldn't act, but I almost think him not being able to act was what Mailer was going for. And to my mind, Mailer's right, it does fit with the rest of the bonkers-ness. Oh God, oh man! It's like me getting pinged by a colleague for something while I'm in my post-guava energy drink stupor. Oh God, oh man! "Sure, one second, I'll take a look at that for you..." Wait, what is this City Nerd video about "Most Urbanist Ballparks"? Oh God, oh man! The request can wait 15 minutes, I need to see where Fenway ranks... Oh God, oh man! "I totally agree that it's ridiculous that the LA Dodgers play in the middle of a parking moat, when their team is named after the act of dodging a street car!" Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Colleague pings again. "I'm sorry, I got sidetracked..." Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Indeed.

Finally, as much fun as we're having with this movie, it is still with a heavy heart with the passing of Wings. I was trying to think back to my earliest Wings experience. Probably his stint on Roseanne as Danielle Harris's father, and then his guest spot on Beverly Hills 90210 as the guy helping Luke Perry get his money back. From there, fast forward to the early 2000s, when Mind, Body, and Soul was on one of those 10-movie DVD packs I got, and my friends and I loved it. We started looking for all the Wings we could find, and it was that love of Wings's films, combined with our love of Dolph and Roddy Piper films that led to the creation of the DTVC. And with all those Wings films, many of which I picked up on VHS because we couldn't find them any other way, even if they were a total stinker, Wings added something that made them a fun time for us. Truly one of the greats, he will be missed, but we have so many films of his left to cover on the site, so we'll see him again soon. Gone, but never forgotten.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can get this free on Prime. I think that's the best way to go, though I am curious about the DVD, which has Norman Mailer's commentary. This is a bonkers movie, but can be very enjoyable due to said bonkers-ness.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094169

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)

This is one that I had been meaning to do on here for a while, and when I mentioned on the podcast that it was available, Sean Malloy from I Must Break This Podcast asked if he could guest on the pod to discuss it, which I thought was a great idea. It was a great conversation, and you can catch that in our archives, episode 166. In addition to us, our friend Mitch at the Video Vacuum has covered this as well.

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films is a documentary by Mark Hartley, he of the great Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! and Machete Maidens Unleashed! He attacks this topic with the same love and attention, giving us the origins of Cannon through their famed production duo Golan and Globus, their rise in the market with actioners led by Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris, and then their downfall. We also get great interviews from names involved, like Albert Pyun, Dolph, Dudikoff, and Sam Firstenberg, who give us interesting insight into how these rebel producers flew too close to the sun, and ultimately fell into the sea.

This is fantastic, Sean and I were in agreement on that. The only complaint we had was we could've used more--like maybe three parts that are each the length this one was. It's one of those rare films where I don't check the slider bar to see how much is left, and when we get to the end, I'm disappointed and want more. It's great seeing and hearing from the big names, like the ones I mentioned above, but then you have people who worked for Cannon at the time, like David Del Valle--who has a great Instagram account, delvallearchives, with a lot of old Hollywood genre content and things from his collection--who gives us insight into things like how Cannon chose films when he was a script reader for them--"I had one pile for Bronson films, and one Norris films." We also get these great stories, like when Golan and Globus worked with Jean-Luc Godard for his King Lear, which is a movie I enjoyed, but hearing the issues behind it made it even better. If you love the movies we love here on the site, this documentary is for you.

This is now the 73rd tag for Dolph, his 72nd film, and his second appearance in a documentary, the other being Power of Grayskull: The Definitive History of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which we reviewed a few years back. It would've been nice to have more of him here, but it kind of makes sense that we don't, because he only did one film for Cannon--which was a big one for sure, but still only one. There was a sense in hearing him discuss it, that he was disappointed with how it turned out, and wasn't comfortable with the production as it was happening. He was riding high from Rocky IV, this was as big as he was going to get, and this felt like the next role to take; but it came out after the toys had fallen out of favor, and while it looked nice for a Cannon film, it was still a Cannon film made on the cheap, and ultimately it was a bust that didn't make its budget back. It starts Dolph down a path that leads to DTV-dom, which was our gain, but unfortunate for him--though he's bounced back somewhat now, getting his redemption while riding a seahorse in Aquaman.

We last saw Michael Dudikoff in 2022 with Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece, so it's been a bit, and probably will be a bit before we see him again. At one time he actually had more tags than Dolph, and he was one of the first that we had the complete DTV filmography of on the site, but he hasn't done much since 2002 so we don't see him as often anymore. Unlike Dolph, who only did the one Cannon film, Dudikoff has a bunch, including the American Ninja series, one of the greatest DTV action franchises ever, and that means he's in this much more. Also unlike Dolph, whose career started downward after his stint with Cannon, for Dudikoff it opened up the world of DTV action that we know him from now. And what a career it was, especially between the first American Ninja and 2002's Stranded, for me it's a top ten DTV action career, and I don't know with the state of DTV action today if anyone will bump him out of the top ten, even if he doesn't do more films. What we get here is the down-to-earth guy we thought he was, which was fun to see, and fun to hear him give us his experience. Truly one of the greats to ever do it.

Albert Pyun was great as well, talking about Cannon and Golan-Globus in general, but also some specific films he worked on with them like Cyborg and Journey to the Center of the Earth--neither great experiences for him. It was a bit melancholy knowing he's no longer with us, but also a reminder that his insights on film were fantastic and always worth hearing--and he was so generous with them in giving us backstory on some of the films we reviewed. This brings us back to the possibility of getting him into the 50 Club, as this is one more in that direction so he's now at 46 films--47 tags because he asked us to review Mean Guns a second time. There are two more films available that he's directed, Cool Air, which I can rent, and The Interrogation of Cheryl Cooper, which I've had trouble finding. Those two would get us to 48, and then he was credited as a producer on Final Examination, making 49. So close. There's also Interstellar Civil War: Shadows of the Empire, which doesn't seem to be available. If it ever were, that would do it.

Finally, with a film like this, there's a question of who to tag and who not to tag. After reviewing Randall Scandal, I made the decision that file footage of an actor in a documentary isn't enough, but if they give an interview filmed specially for the documentary, that counts. The other thing is, are they the subject of the documentary? That's why Golan-Globus are tagged, despite not being interviewed. But that's also why Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson aren't tagged. Had one of the clips of the films had a McDonald's in it, would I have tagged "McDonald's?" I don't know, but I doubt it. For genres like "Ninjas," even though this had clips from ninja films, it wasn't a ninja film per se, so it didn't get that tag. Had someone done an interview in full ninja gear, would I have tagged this "ninjas," or had someone interviewed a shark would I have tagged this "sharks?" Maybe, but I'd have to see it happen first before I could say either way.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can get this on Tubi here in the States. YouTube also has a great version if you don't get Tubi in your area. This does a great job handling a subject that's near and dear to our hearts, and worth checking out. Also worth checking out is the podcast episode we did with Sean from I Must Break This Podcast, number 166 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125501

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Exterminator 2 (1984)

I watched this last spring for the Robert Ginty podcast episode I did with Ty and Brett from Comeuppance. Why it's taken me so long to review it, I can't say. For some reason it's been sitting near the top of my review queue, but something else has always crept in ahead of it. Anyway, this is a complete the triangle film, as, in addition to Comeuppance, Mitch at the Video Vacuum has covered this as well, so you can go to their sites to see what they thought.

Exterminator 2 is the Cannon sequel to the Ginty classic. In this one, our hero is still wielding his flame thrower, but when he roasts the brother of a local gang leader, (Mario Van Peebles (as the leader)), they come for him and everyone he cares for. After they paralyze his dancer girlfriend, Ginty does the only thing he can do: outfit a trash truck so it's a tank, and take them all down. You've done messed with the wrong Ginty.

This is a pretty fun time.  It's not the iconic film the first one is--also nowhere near as brutal either, which isn't to say this isn't brutal, just that that was a high bar to match. Ginty is the guy he was in that one, I think in tune with the character and just building off the work he did in part one to develop him. I also really enjoyed Van Peebles as the villain. He does it with a certain amount of aplomb without sacrificing any of the actual villainy, so we still sufficiently want to see him taken down. On the other hand, the film does drag in parts, and the fact that the girlfriend is first paralyzed, then murdered, felt a little too dark; but Ginty v. Van Peebles, with Frankie Faison as Ginty's buddy, delivered in a 90-minute 80s Cannon/Golan-Globus package, does the trick when you're looking to partake in some Ginty Moore Beef Stew.

I'm ashamed to admit that this is only the fourth Ginty film on the site. We last saw him a little over 10 years ago in November of 2011, when we covered the first Exterminator film. For such a DTV legend, one who was big enough to get his own podcast episode, to have so few tags, is a travesty that I freely admit I'm guilty of. The good news is, because I had to watch some other Ginties for that episode, we have more in the can that I can hopefully get to soon; the bad news is, I've had that Ginty in the can since May of 2021, and am just now reviewing one of them. The thing about Ginty is he played a huge part in making the DTV action world as we know it. I don't know if I can think of anyone in these early 80s days who had a bigger impact, other than maybe Fred Williamson. Hopefully we'll get more Ginty on the site, but because we say this often and seldom deliver, in the meantime you have the podcast episode to hear us chat about him.

 

Some of the complaints I had with the film were explained in the trivia section on the IMDb page. Apparently Cannon wasn't happy with Buntzman's final cut, so they did some extensive re-shoots, including using a stunt double to add in more scenes of Ginty firing his flamethrower, and forcing Cannon to have an NYC trash truck driven across the country to LA where the re-shoots were done. This explained the unevenness I noticed. Also in Buntzman's original cut, Ginty's girlfriend survived, which was a major qualm I had. According to the trivia, Ginty wasn't happy with the new edits, and that may explain why he doesn't do another Cannon film until 1987's Three Kinds of Heat. For as much as we love Cannon, this was something that seemed to happen a lot with them, they took films away from directors and made changes that they thought would make them more bankable. The best example is Cyborg. This movie still pulled in $3.7 million at the box office, so maybe it was worth it, but like Cyborg, it would be nice to see what the original cut looked like.

Mario Van Peebles is a great villain here, which, to some extent makes his villain in Seized look really pedestrian, but through no fault of Van Peebles. That's one major issue with modern DTV, the villains aren't as well developed as they were in the 80s. I think the reason for that is since that time, we've had baddies like Hans Gruber who gave baddies more nuance, and I think filmmakers have been trying to emulate that ever since. Throw in the verbose element of the Tarantino rip-offs, and now you have a philosophizing baddie with nuance written by writers who think they're smarter than they are, when a straight-ahead unhinged evil villain who brings death with him everywhere he goes often does the trick. One of the many reasons why these films were better in the 80s and pre-Tarantino 90s than they are now.

Finally, there's something about late 70s/early 80s New York City in a movie that really works. We think of NYC as the kind of city that is such a setting that it's its own character, but late 70s to early 80s NYC is the best version of that character for me. I think I like it even better than 1960s Paris. The sense of impending danger everywhere, juxtaposed with the sense that this city is one of the financial capitals of the world, it feels like a world of limitless possibilities. And what I love about this film, is the use of the garbage truck existing in that world. It feels like the bottom rung, yet is a real yeoman's job, something everyone takes for granted until all the sanitation workers go on strike. To turn that symbol into an engine of vengeance and destruction is the ultimate in cinematic allegory. 

And with that, let's wrap this up. As far as I can tell, this isn't available to stream. It does have a Blu-ray, so for the physical media collectors, that's a possible option. When I caught it, it was a part of a free preview of some sort on my cable package I think. I'm not sure it's worth going too far out of your way, but if it comes up on one of your streaming services, it's worth watching. Who doesn't love some nice Ginty Moore Beef Stew?

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087229

And if you haven't yet, check out my new novel, A Girl and a Gun, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

 

 

 

American Cyborg: Steel Warrior aka Steel American Cyborg Warrior (1993)

Last weekend, my wife saw in a forum that a fundamentalist televangelist who ran a congregation that focused on women being thin for their husbands and for God, died in a plane crash, along with her family members. It turned out, her husband was none other than Joe Lara. I couldn't believe it, and felt I needed to cover one of his films in my next review, so here we are. In addition to us, our friends at Explosive Action, Ninja Dixon, The Video Vacuum, and last but not least, Ty and Brett at Comeuppance have all reviewed this, so you can go to their sites to see what they thought--in addition to Entertainment Weekly, who had some fun things to say about it. Now it's time for us to say our things about it.

American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (or Steel American Cyborg Warrior as the opening title puts it) takes place in a post-apocalyptic future (what other future is there?) where cyborgs rule, humans drool, and since we're all infertile, the cyborgs figure it's better to herd us into cities and let us die out rather than fight a war with us. Then a lady has a fertile egg that results in a test tube baby, who is now a fetus that needs to get to Europe so he can live. The problem is a cyborg is after them, and as the lady escapes, she meets a strapping young man, Joe Lara, who offers to help her get to safety.

 

Had this movie been made today, I'd be killing it for its repetitive wash, rinse, repeat plot: cyborg comes, Lara fights off cyborg, he and the lady, Nicole Hansen, run away, they relax, and the the cyborg shows up and they do it all over again. But this 90s Cannon effort had the look and feel of an Albert Pyun film from five years before--without his added Pyun-ness that made those work more of course, but it was enough of the look and feel to transcend its obvious issues. Lara works as the hero, Hansen was good as the woman toting around a yoga mat and a bank drive-up capsule for the deposit tube with a fetus in it, and John Saint Ryan was good as the Rob Halford-esque leather-clad baddie. Again, it's the kind of thing that, if it were made today, I'd be killing it; but in the 90s, it has enough nostalgia for me to work a bit more.

This is only our sixth Lara post on the site, which doesn't seem like a lot, unless you consider that he didn't do that much, and then it makes a bit more sense. One of the last ones we'd done was Final Equinox, which me, hilarious guy that I am, referred to as "Final Deep Cheek-quinox" after a porn film my buddy and I saw on a porn shop shelf called Deep Cheeks. I was also pretty rough on him when I reviewed that one, saying "I didn't understand the concept of Joe Lara." On the other hand, there's Hologram Man, which I have 4th on my all-time PM list, and it's 4th in large part because of Lara, not in spite of him. I think why Hologram Man and this film work more than Final Deep Cheek-quinox is that they knew how to use Lara properly. He didn't have the rugged good looks of a Dolph, Van Damme, or even Lorenzo Lamas; Lara was dare I say pretty, but in the right roles, he could transcend that and be a real lead. According to IMDb he hadn't really done anything since the early 2000s, but his passing is still a shock and an immense loss. Here's to you Mr. Lara, you were one of the great ones, and you will be missed.

Previously when I did Street Knight I said it was the last Cannon production; and when I did Hellbound I said it was the last Cannon Group film. This film had the distinction of being the last one released theatrically in the US by Cannon--where it grossed just under a half-a-million. It was also the last team-up of Golan and Globus. It definitely doesn't have the quality of those 80s Cannon actioners, as this film bounces from abandoned warehouse to abandoned factory to abandoned tunnel--and may even be reusing sets. We can see the effects of the losses on Masters of the Universe and Superman IV onscreen in front of us. Yet there's also an inimitable Cannon quality that does shine through and makes this more endearing. Put with Street Knight and Hellbound, there's an odd vibe, similar to when you go to a store that's going out of business. Something's ending with these movies, a wave is cresting, and while we had a second wave in PM Entertainment that was building strength behind it, that Cannon wave was something special that we may never get back again. We often lament the state of the current overall DTV market, but maybe what we got with Cannon in the 80s and then PM in the 90s was a beautiful anomaly that we'll just never see again. It was definitely great while it lasted.

In the trivia on IMDb, they quoted an article Nicole Hansen did where she said a revised version of the script had her getting nude and doing love scenes every five minutes. She objected, thinking they'd use a double for the scenes, but instead Cannon agreed and cut them out, which allegedly upset the film's director, the great producer Boaz Davidson. It looked like one way he got back at her was by having as many scenes as possible where she got wet. "Oh, my skin is burning from acid rain, let me dump water all over me!" "Oh, I need to get to the ocean to meet the boat that will take me to Europe, why don't I walk out into the water and let the waves wash over me." These were the days before wet look leggings, so Boaz had to create the effect on his own I guess. To her credit, Hansen does a great job with it all. When I looked her up, I discovered that we'd seen her before, in the Michael Dudikoff Dirty Dozen flick Soldier Boyz. Brophey!

 

Finally, you'll notice we tagged Isaac Florentine. That's because he was the martial arts choreographer. That makes this the second time we've tagged him for something other than director work, the other being Boyka, which he couldn't direct due to the passing of his wife, but did produce. If you look at his filmography, I think this is contiguous with his first feature film as a director, Desert Kickboxer, which I haven't seen yet. When we think of DTV directors who aren't in the Hall of Fame, he may not have the numbers that a guy like Jim Wynorski has, but the action hits really stand out. By my count we have six more movies of his left to do, which will put him at close to 20 tags. Maybe we should see how those six go, but I have a feeling he's on his way.

But this wasn't meant to be an Isaac Florentine post, it was meant to be a Joe Lara post, so let's wrap this up. I think Hologram Man would be a better way to celebrate Lara's life and career, but this one isn't bad either. The other thing is this is only available to rent on streaming, while Hologram Man is free on Tubi. Lara may not have been at that Dolph level, or even Daniels level, of DTV action, but he still made very valuable contributions. I'll say it again, here's to you Mr. Lara, you were one of the greats, and you will be missed.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109098

And if you haven't yet, check out my novel, Chad in Accounting, in paperback or on Kindle!

Journey to the Center of the Earth (1988)

This is one I'd meaning to do for a while now, strictly for the Pyun factor, but it wasn't an easy find. Recently though it popped up on Multiplex On Demand, so I figured I'd better make it happen, especially since it has been a long time since we'd done a Pyun joint. Let's see how it went.

Journey to the Center of the Earth is technically a sequel to Alien from L.A., except it's not. We follow Crystina (Nicola Cowper), a nanny from England who is hired and sent to Hawai'i to care for a rock star's dog. At the same time, a trio of siblings (Paul Carafotes, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, and Jaclyn Bernstein) are heading out to investigate a cave near a volcano. When the carrier containing the dog ends up in their jeep, Crystina has to follow them, and ends up exploring the cave with them. That cave leads to a tunnel that takes them to Alien from L.A.'s lost city of Atlantis, where the people there are trying to recreate Kathy Ireland. Will they escape, or be trapped there forever?

The imdb page for this movie says this in its trivia section: "Director Albert Pyun hated how the studio took his film from him and spliced it with another film to just to have it released. Because of this he has disowned it and his name doesn't appear on any official releases." That's not entirely true, because he lists it on his site, Albert Pyun movies, but beyond that, it is listed as a Rusty Lemorande film, despite Lemorande saying he only directed the first 8 minutes--and Lemorande commented on the imdb and said that he had shot another movie that was supposed to be this, and of which 8 minutes was used. What do we do with all that information then? How do we make sense of this film, the same way we wonder how we make sense of his Urban Trilogy, which Pyun had to cobble together after a crate of film reels was lost by Air France, yet are still out there in the ether for us to consume. And like those Urban Trilogy films, this movie feels cobbled together, especially when we get into the Alien from LA territory and we don't know how we got there or how we're getting back out in the short time we have left. In that sense, I think this is really about Pyun completists.

And in that vein, there are elements that work, in particular the cyber punk elements that he brought over from Alien from LA. If anything, Atlantis is stylish and has the feel of an 80s music video--you almost expect Simon Le Bon to swoop in wearing torn clothing and paint on his face, saying cool, nonsensical things in his English accent. But before that, we're watching what can best be described as a wannabe Goonies kids romp without the Feldman, and we're not really sure where it's going until it hits Leftturnsville and we're on the set of the "Wild Boys" video shoot. And you want to say, "well, you should have done this" or "tried that," but when we're talking about two movies cobbled together, none of that matters. It feels like two movies cobbled together because it is! If Cannon and Golan-Globus were trying to fulfill contractual obligations, is this worth it? Maybe, because it's still being shown on cable On Demand and people like me are watching it.

The issues Pyun had with making Cyborg are well-documented, and fortunately now we have his edit of the film so we can compare the two, but that was another issue with Cannon, right after this film here. I don't know if those issues overlapped at all too, considering it's all around the same time, but it looks like those were the last two films he did for Cannon--and his first film after these two was the ultimate middle finger film, Deceit. As I mentioned though, you do still see Pyun elements that you can recognize, like these cyber-punk characters in Atlantis. It feels very Radioactive Dreams or Vicious Lips, but also you can see how this evolves as we hit Nemesis and Omega Doom. A lot of his stuff from the past 10 years or so has been released entirely by him, which, on the one had can make it difficult to find it, but on the other, he has the control he needs, and with situations like these I can understand why he'd want that.

This goes back to something that I've learned in doing this site over the past 13 years. I always had this idea that each movie was the filmmaker's vision. Good or bad, this was their attempt to make a movie. But in talking Pyun about his experiences, and also other filmmakers like Jason Horton (who did the fantastic Trap), is that that's not always the case. There are so many ways a film is taken from a director; or situations like one Jason Horton described in the film Deceitful, where he was called in to make a film out of an idea that had gone through many revisions. On the one hand, I think it gives us more license to pan a film if we see issues with it; but on the other, we can pan the film in a general sense, without sticking it to one person--though maybe here we blame Cannon for what happened.

One of the bright spots in the film was the dog, which for me I think always works as long as the dog is well-treated, as he was here. I'm not saying I like a full on dog movie like Beethoven or Air Bud, but one where a good dog is part of the cast. I like cats too, but I feel like a cat moseying around in the background, cleaning a paw, maybe getting into something, works better for me, whereas I like the dog in the cast, taking naps, barking occasionally, and just acting cute. What's great too here, is we had Jaclyn Bernstein as the kid, and when the crew goes into the cave, she leaves, but the dog stays. More filmmakers should make that call when deciding between kids or dogs: dogs always work better.

And with that, I think it's time to wrap this up. For me this really is for Pyun completists. He doesn't have his name on it, and it's not entirely his film, because it's cobbled together from two movies. It's a fascinating anomaly from a great director who's a bit of an anomaly on the DTV scene. Right now you can stream it through Multiplex On Demand, or if you have Starz as part of your Amazon Prime package, you can stream it on there.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097630

Mercenary Fighters (1988)

I was having a conversation with a buddy recently, and he asked me if I'd seen this film.  He saw it on YouTube.  He had no idea who Reb Brown is, but I could tell he appreciated the movie anyway, which made me all the more excited to check it out.

Mercenary Fighters is a Golan-Globus production of a Cannon film that takes place in a fictitious African country that sounds suspiciously like what was then Zaire (and now the Congo)-- Shinkasa was the capital, as opposed to Kinshasa, though how many action movie fans would know of Kinshasa anyway?  Peter Fonda is a mercenary hired by the government to wipe out a local rebel tribe that stands in the way of a huge development project.  In recruiting his team, he gets Ron O'Neal, a crack pilot, and his buddy, Reb Brown.  Once there though, Brown and O'Neal see that these rebels are more freedom fighters, and that maybe they're on the wrong side.  This feeling is only exacerbated by Brown falling for a pretty young nurse who treats the people in the surrounding villages.  The problem is: siding with the rebels puts Brown directly in the way of Fonda getting his money, which is not a good idea.



This is pretty fun.  There's one scene near the beginning between Brown and O'Neal, where Brown is shirtless and O'Neal is in a button-up shirt with the top five buttons un-buttoned.  It might be the best scene in movie history, it's that fantastic.  I did realize that Brown and O'Neal carry this film though, especially in one scene where the guys are in a helicopter shooting at a few rebels below that are running away.  It's drawn out and not much happens, but the constant cuts to Brown and O'Neal reacting are more than enough to keep me interested.  Then you've got the exploding huts, which I'll get to below; the fantastic Reb Brown screaming; and plenty of Cannon/Golan-Globus everything-but-the-kitchen-sink action.  It's the movie you want when you see it listed on YouTube.

This might not be the best Reb Brown, but it's still pretty solid.  There's one scene near the end where he gets on the back of a jeep and fires off this big gun while giving his trademark scream and trademark Cannon explosions are going off behind him.  He also has plenty of other good screams, including this great one near the beginning when he and O'Neal are riding on a bus, and a guy lands a plane on the roof and climbs in through the window.  O'Neal is laughing, and Brown screams at him "You knew man!"  It's such a great fist pumping moment.  I already mentioned that fantastic shirtless scene with O'Neal, and I don't think it's hyperbole at all to call it one of the best in movie history.  Maybe best part of all: his character is constantly referred to as "The Kid", even though he was about 40 when this was made.



The late Ron O'Neal is here again, with his great, classically trained acting pedigree used for a Cannon flick doing scenes opposite Brown.  This January will mark 10 years since he left us, taken too soon by pancreatic cancer.  He was so good in this though, and he and Brown had great chemistry-- or perhaps he was great at carrying Brown, either way it was great to see.  This isn't the first time these two worked together either.  They did a 70s TV movie adaptation of Aldus Huxley's Brave New World.  (I've never seen it though.)

Among the other names, there was Peter Fonda who I already mentioned.  He seemed like he was mailing it in, which, in a movie like this, isn't such a bad thing.  All we care about is seeing Fonda with long hair looking like Thomas Ian Griffith's older brother, speaking in smooth, aging hippie tones.  The country's military leader was played by Robert DoQui, who's been in all kinds of things, most notable RoboCop and the sequels.  Finally, another Space Mutiny alum, this guy, who was Santa's Number One.  I have no idea what his name is, and I don't think he was credited on imdb with being in the film, and of course he doesn't have an image for his imdb page, and of course I can't remember his character name either.



Okay, so this was not 'Namsploitation, but it had a lot of hut explosions.  In fact, on a lot of levels it hit the same beats of the 'Namsploitation, even though it took place in Africa.  On the other hand, this wasn't an Italian directed/produced shot in the Philippines deal, this was pure Cannon Golan-Globus, which made for an interesting mix of action subgenres.  On that score, this film is very fascinating for the low-budget action fan.  On the other score, it's Reb Brown screaming and exploding huts.

And what more do you really need after that?  With it still available on YouTube, that's the best way to go.  You can also buy it on DVD from Amazon.  Again, not the best Reb Brown, not the best Cannon or Golan-Globus either, but for fans of those things, a fun time and worth checking out.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093525/

P.O.W.: The Escape aka Behind Enemy Lines aka Attack Force 'Nam (1986)

It has been a while since I'd made it out to do some thrift shopping, but I went recently and dug through the VHS section to find some gems. It was a different world from the one I'd remembered, with many more mainstream films from local video stores after they'd closed, not the kind of stuff a guy who runs a blog about Direct to Video movies could use. But I did find this bad boy, and for .99, it was a good one. Let's see if it made the trip worth it.

P.O.W.: The Escape is a Golan-Globus production of a Cannon flick starring DTVC Hall of Famer David Carradine as an Army colonel sent to rescue some soldiers from a POW camp in the waning days of the Vietnam War. It's a setup, and Carradine finds himself a prisoner among the troops he intended to save, including DTVC favorite Steve James and Philippine 'Namsploitation mainstay Jim Gaines. The man running the prison camp, Mako, has family in Miami that he'd like to join, so he cuts a deal with Carradine: you get me to Saigon, and then to America, and I'll help you escape. Things go wrong though, and now Carradine and his troops need to navigate the dangerous countryside and make it to the coast to rendezvous with some choppers that will get them the hell out of there.



Definitely worth the dollar, and probably worth a few more, this one delivered. Great Philippine 'Namsploitation from Cannon, plenty of exploding huts and other action, Carradine is great as the main hero, Mako as the baddie, and Steve James in a supporting role. Near the end there's a bit of dead spot on the way there, which could cause your buddies' ADD to act up, but if they can persevere, this is the kind of movie you came for. Just a lot of fun.

David Carradine was about fifty when this was made, and he did joke at one point "I'm getting too old for this shit", to which Steve James gave him a knowing smirk and head nod. He still carries the day with this "I get shit done" demeanor and screen presence, the kind of thing he took with him somewhat to Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, but was able to flourish much more in a role like this. By the end, when he's running around with a machine gun shooting up Filipino stuntmen, then he sees a tattered American flag flying on a pole that he takes down and drapes over his shoulder, we're all in and loving it. A great Carradine vehicle here.



Steve James has a smaller supporting role, but unlike his other supporting roles where it feels like he should be the main star, his character works better here as a guy supporting Caradine. His character gets who Carradine is right away, and Carradine's gets him, and they know that each other will make a great asset in getting the whole crew out alive. I just love Steve James so much, and he's great here. Also love Mako as the baddie. Unfortunately all three of this film's main stars are no longer with us.

Watching this, especially at the end with the American flag stuff, it had me thinking: what do people in other countries that watch these films think of that kind of thing? What about the 'Namsploitation genre in general. It has a certain connotation in the States, but 'Nam was our thing. Is it just that there's a universal language in exploding huts? Not only that, but a lot of them only exist today in the form of Japanese or Dutch VHS, so it's as if they're more popular abroad than they are here. It's fascinating, on top of the fact that movies themselves are often very fun. Any of my readers from outside the States, let me know what you think about this.



Speaking of Philippine 'Namsploitation, check out the dude to the right, Jim Gaines (credited as James Gaines). I'm sure if you've seen any amount of these films that you recognize him. Unfortunately, at least as far as I could tell, there was no Vic Diaz too, so that was a disappointment. Gaines only had a very small role, appearing in a few scenes, never having a close-up, and playing a character listed in the credits as "POW #5", but it's always fun to see guys like this in a movie like this.

This is on DVD under the Attack Force 'Nam title, or it can be found on VHS under P.O.W.: The Escape. I'm not so sure you need to go out of your way unless you're a big time collector and want to add it on VHS, but definitely, if you're making your way through a VHS bargain bin and see it, don't hesitate to pull the trigger. This is a worthy find.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091713/

Down Twisted (1987)

This is one I've been wanting to do for a while now, and was excited when I finally got my hands on it. It's another Albert Pyun flick from the mid-80s, has a great cast, and looks like a great time. If it's half as good as Dangerously Close was, we should be happy.

Down Twisted is about a famous, priceless artifact that is stolen and replaced with a replica. The problem is, as it's being shipped back to LA, it's lost, and the parties involved are trying to get it back and figure out who the double-crosser was. Enter Carey Lowell, who is looking forward to her upcoming job interview so she can quit her dead-end waitress job and move-on-up in the world, Jeffersons style. Her dead-beat roommate just happens to be one of the people who knows where the artifact is, and she gets Carey all mixed-up in it. Now she's been shanghaied and shipped across the Atlantic to some Banana Republic with some weenie lawyer, played by Charles Rocket, that seems to know more than he's letting on. The only thing we know is this: when the deal goes down, it's going down twisted.



I really enjoyed this. It had a couple lulls, especially as the loose ends are sorting themselves out and coming together near the end, but overall it's just a fun 80s Albert Pyun flick. It has its Pyun mainstays, it has cool music-- including "No One Lives Forever" from Oingo Boingo and the "Suspicious Minds" cover by Fine Young Cannibals that was also in Dangerously Close--, and has tons of nice 80s style. I think it's one of those ones though where you really have to love the 80s to love the movie, because, as I said, it does have it's slow moments, and it might feel predictable; but if you get geeked from seeing Norbert Weisser, or Thom Mathews in a blue blazer, or Oingo Boingo playing over the opening credits, this is the flick for you.

I wonder how I'd feel about this film if this were review number 70 instead of 762, if I didn't get as geeked about Thom Mathews and Norbert Weisser as I do now with however many Pyun flicks under my belt. I guess what I would say is that I didn't enjoy Vicious Lips as much as this one, and I didn't enjoy this as much as Dangerously Close, so it's not just that I'll like any Pyun 80s flicks no matter what; but I still think it is good to control for my movie going experience as I recommend or don't recommend something. A lot of the fun in this is Pyun's ability to mix genres, and I loved how we have that low-budget 50s adventure flick combined with the style and aesthetics of the 80s-- plus, the 80s adventure flick post Indiana Jones; and I think it works better here than it did in Alien from LA.



One of the things Pyun is known for is his use of female protagonists, and this film is the first of three in a row where he first does that, the two after being Vicious Lips and Alien from LA. It's interesting, because when we think of Pyun, the fist things that come to mind are Sword and the Sorcerer, Cyborg, and Nemesis, which are all led by the classic male protagonist, but I think it's a testament to Pyun as a director that he's constantly trying to go outside of that tradition and give us female leads that are more than just damsels in distress. Carey Lowell here is essentially that first of many, and what I liked about her character was that she would fluctuate back and forth between assertive and vulnerable, making her the most realistic element in an otherwise larger than life movie. It didn't hurt that she's stunning too, and had a lot of close-ups.

It's time to play the Pyun mainstay game again, and we have some good ones here. First and foremost, Thom Mathews, who you can see is bleached blond and rocking a too sweet blue blazer in that scene above. He plays like a hatchet man or something, walking around with a gun with a silencer and a scowl on his face, chewing up scenery. Then we had Norbert Weisser, who has actually been in more Pyun flicks than Mathews. He plays the money man that wants to buy the artifact. After those two there's Nicholas Guest, who plays the guy that double crosses everyone, and is thrown out the window by Mathews. Australian Linda Kerridge plays Mathews associate. This is the first of three straight she does with Pyun, the other two being Vicious Lips and Alien from LA. Finally, in a small cameo, Don Michael Paul plays an airplane mechanic. He's best known for Dangerously Close, but also plays Kathy Ireland's jerk ex-boyfriend in Alien from LA.



Down Twisted can boast that it is the first big screen role for Courtney Cox, who would then go on to have a bigger role in another Cannon/Golan-Globus flick in the following year, Masters of the Universe. All she does here is bump into Carey Lowell as the two are waiting tables, then talks to Lowell about her job interview when their shift is done. I wonder if they pulled her off the Masters of the Universe lot, or if she needed to nail those two scenes in this in order to get the big role opposite Dolph. She probably made more per episode in the last seasons of Friends than the entire acting budgets of either of those films.

This is a used VHS only as far as I can tell, but it can be found for under $10, which I think is a good deal. If you're a big 80s person, or a VHS collector, this is one you should look for. Yes, it might be a little slow in parts, but it has tons of great names, a fun plot, and a solid mix of 80s style and 50s low-budget adventure flick. If you come across it in your travels, I think it's worth picking up.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092922/

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)

It has finally happened, I am now getting around to the last of the VHSs Mr. Kenner at Movies in the Attic sent me over a year ago. I know, it has taken forever, but it's what happens when I get submissions, especially multiple movie submissions, some are looked at right away, and some are lost in the shuffle. But we're here, it's better late than never, and I appreciate him sending me these, because they've all been a lot of fun. Also, for Kenner's take on all the Death Wish films, click here.

Death Wish 4 seems like a more natural sequel to part two, as if three didn't happen or was a different time line-- like the Highlander movies and the TV series. Anyway, life looks good, Bronson has a hot younger girlfriend, the architecture biz is going nicely, and he hasn't had to use his guns in awhile. Things change though when his girlfriend's teen daughter is killed by a coke overdose, and with the possibility of a mother/daughter threesome out the window, Bronson wants revenge, so he kills the dealer that sold her the junk. That's when a mysterious millionaire comes to him with a proposition: unlimited resources to take out the two main drug operations in LA. Bronson jumps at it, and starts an epic gang war that has the city's law enforcement scrambling to find that damn Vigilante again.



I really dug this one. It was a Yojimbo paradigm, with Charles Bronson in full bass mode. How can you not love him with unlimited havoc-wreaking resources? This, along with part three, are the full realization of the Cannon/Golan-Globus Death Wish combination, just a lot of kicking ass and taking names. It may be a little over the top (Stallone style), it may be a little cartoonish, but if that's an issue for you, then what are you doing watching Cannon's Death Wish 4?

Bronson was getting up there in years as this one was made, and though watching him mix it up with David Wolos-Fonteno was a bit of a stretch, overall Bronson really worked as the lone, aging Ronin for hire. It's actually a common theme in Japanese samurai pictures, the aging samurai whose skill and wisdom that comes with age is an asset over the lost step and athleticism from his youth. For Golan-Globus, of course, it's not just wisdom and skill, but stunt doubles that overcome the lost youth too. Either way, at 65-66, Bronson still had the screen presence to carry this thing off and carry it off to the point that I was thoroughly entertained.



I want to go back to that scene with David Wolos-Fonteno for a second, because it was pretty fantastic on a lot of levels. It starts with Fonteno getting ready to go to the opera with his girlfriend, and he's constantly berating her. Normally I don't go in for that kind of thing, but his cracks were so funny, and I don't know this for a fact, but I think they were ad libbed. He was telling her she needed to lose weight to fit into her dress, that the dress made her look like a damned rooster, and she was giving it right back to him, which was even better. Then he goes back upstairs and finds Bronson there, and he's beating the crap out of him, before Bronson knocks his head into a TV set, then matadors him out the window. Whenever I see Wolos-Fonteno on Law and Order as a judge, I think of him here, telling his girlfriend she looks like a rooster, and hunting Bronson in his apartment.

As far as Star Trek goes, the one I followed the most was The Next Generation, but that doesn't mean I didn't know Voyager existed, didn't recognize the guy who played Tuvok appearing in Death Wish 4 as a drug dealer. We also had Kay Lenz as Bronson's girlfriend, and Dana Barron as her daughter-- you may remember Barron as the girl who David Silver cheated on Donna with on 90210. DTVC favorite Danny Trejo makes an appearance as a hatchetman for one of the gangsters, rocking some great hair, before he's blown up. Then we have the great Soon-Tek Oh as the detective following Kearsey. Finally, my favorite was the late John P. Ryan as the mysterious rich man. He was great as the mob boss in Bound.



I want to take a second here to bring to your attention the cover photo. Usually with cover photos I hotlink them from illegal download sites, mostly because what they're doing is bad (at least in the case of films still in print), so they won't be upset if I grab their cover photo and not give them credit-- though I'm sure they've hotlinked them from other places too. But tonight, for the first time in DTVC history, I've actually scanned the VHS cover myself. That's right, that's the exact one Kenner sent me. A DTVC first, but hopefully not the last-- and feel free to hotlink it, it'll make me proud.

In the context of the Death Wish series, this is more like the part 3, and part 3 is more like an interlude or one of those franchise Star Wars novels that take place outside of the major storylines. Regardless, if we're going to separate out the first one from the sequels and judge the sequels on their own, I put this right up behind three and right ahead of two (and you'll have to wait for part five). Thanks again to Kenner for sending us the VHS.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092857/

Death Wish 2 (1982)

This movie has been the subject of much vituperative discussion. Just a look at our friend Kenner's Movies in the Attic review of the Death Wish series, and you'll see he has this as Bronson's worst ever. Ouch! And in the comments section to Death Wish, it was nearly unanimous, of all the sequels, two was the worst. Let's see if it lived up to the hype.

Death Wish 2 picks up six years or so after part one, and finds Charles Bronson back as Paul Kersey, now living in LA with a hot girlfriend and his daughter improving at an area mental health hospital. All that changes though, when some thugs lift his wallet, and he chases one down and beats him up. That guy goes back to his friends, and they decide to go back to Kersey's house, brutally rape his maid, then kill her, beat Kersey, and kidnap his daughter, whom they rape back at their hideout, and she dies trying to escape them. Well, that was all ol' Kersey needed to get his gun and get his revenge, which he does, hunting them all down. At the same time, the NYPD finds out Kersey is up to his old tricks, and they send Vincent Gardenia out to LA in order to stop him, fearing Kersey'll lead the LAPD back to New York, and the NYPD will be revealed as having let him go.



This is definitely lacking. It feels like it's trying to be a bigger, badder version of its predecessor, but never quite gets there. There's also the muddled situation with Gardenia, where he essentially flies all the way out from New York only to be shot by some thugs in a gunfight. Ultimately though, this suffers from us as an audience having to wonder, when is enough enough? Killing his catatonic daughter just as she's starting to get better? But then the way she dies is kind of comical, after a really bad rape scene, so all that together has me wondering where I'm supposed to go. Despite all this it still had its moments. Bronson was Bronson, and no matter what, he's compelling to watch, especially when he's killing bad guys. Other than the odd Gardenia element, after the daughter dies, this does hit a pretty decent stride, with an almost Batman-esque quality to it, where he's hiding his behavior from the people in his life. I don't know, I'm not ready to kill this yet, and I think it's worth checking out if you're a Bronson fan.

It got me thinking: how could this have been better? Where do I think they could've rectified the things they did wrong? First and foremost, leave the damn daughter out of it. In fact, add some depth by keeping her alive and improving while he's out there doing his Death Wish stuff. I even thought about the scenario where he's only mugged, and there's no home invasion, and he still goes out and kills all the guys. Now that adds some new layers, and we have to wonder if we can root for Bronson or not. In that scenario, we keep Gardenia in it more, right? We wonder what side he should be taking, because Bronson is not so clearly in the right this time. Maybe the maid rape comes later on in the film, with the thugs going to her to get back at him. I think there were a lot of places this could've gone with the Death Wish story that would've made it better than what we got.



Bronson keeps this movie from being a total dud for me. I can understand having issues with the way his character was treated, because I had those issues too, but there's something about seeing Bronson in cold-blooded revenge mode that is awesome. I also understand that, compared with some of his other stuff, this may not stand up, but I'll watch Bronson's bad stuff more than I'll watch a lot of other actors' good stuff, because, as I can attest with this one, his bad stuff isn't always that bad.

That's big Larry Fishburne there in some pink Pizza Hut shades-- though I guess in 1982 that was before the Pizza Hut/Back to the Future II promotional campaign. He's in this slightly more than Jeff Goldblum was in part 1, but like Goldblum, also playing one of the thugs that attacks his family. He just turned 50 this past summer, but it seems like he's only gotten better as an actor with age-- or maybe he's always been this good, but only been given the good parts as he got older. Either way, Laurence Fishburne: good stuff.



I had to include a PBR photo. I've always been a big PBR drinker, which I know draws some gasps and eye rolls, because it's the hallmark of... the Hipster! Maybe I should give a brief history of my PBR love affair in order to clear up any confusion. Growing up, my father was only allotted so much money per week on beer, so often PBR was a great choice because of its value. I took that knowledge with me to college, where I was often mocked for my taste in "bad beers", but the way I saw it, I couldn't afford to drink anything else, other than maybe 40s, but $3.50 for a pack of pounders makes even a 40 a tough sell. Anyway, so time goes on, I graduate from college but am still broke and drinking PBRs, and I start seeing in magazines like GQ that PBR has become big in trendy parts of New York, in come cases going for as much as $6 a can. Enter the Hipsters. Now it's gone from "PBR, eww, how can you drink that?" to "PBR, eww, what're you, a Hipster?" Sometimes you can't win for losing, but I've decided I don't care what people think, I'll drink what I want, and what I want is Pabst Blue Ribbon.

All right, enough about my beer choices and Hipsters, let's wrap this up. Though nowhere near as good as the first 1, and in some cases a little too mean spirited and all over the place, it's still a Bronson revenge flick, and on that score for me, it still works. You may feel differently.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082250/

Dangerously Close (1986)

This is one I've been meaning to do for a long time, having not seen it in forever, and not knowing until I started this blog that it was an Albert Pyun film. Sometime in the mid-2000s I saw the video for the Smithereens "Blood and Roses", complete with the movie footage in it-- there's a version that doesn't have the movie footage-- and I really wanted to see this again, and just never got around to it. Now I'm here, and we're making it happen. Also, this has been reviewed by our friends Kenner at Movies in the Attic and Ty at Comeuppance Reviews, and both of them are pretty different from the one I'm about to write.

Dangerously Close is about a prep school that has been forced to allow poorer kids from outside the district to attend through a magnet program. These kids have been targeted by a school-run vigilante group called the Sentinels, and now the Sentinels have upped the ante to the point that a core group now kidnap kids they've identified as the worst delinquents, and they scare them in a game called Hunt Down, hoping they'll transfer soon after. Then we throw Danny into this. He's one of the poor kids, but he's also an overachiever and wants what the Sentinels were born with, and wants to befriend them instead of just clean their pools. But is he in too deep when their leader, Randy (John Stockwell), invites him to hang out with them, because Danny runs the school newspaper, and they want to recruit him for propaganda? And if he's in too deep, how does he dig himself out before he too is a victim?



This one really worked for me. Very stylish, well shot, and I liked it as a different take on high school movies outside of "geeks" and "jocks". Haves vs. have-nots, but with the twist that you have Danny, who straddles both worlds due to his socioeconomic status, and doesn't know where he belongs, but ultimately is the one who can crack the case because of his ability to move in all circles. Then there's the soundtrack. I already mentioned the Smithereens, whose song plays over the credits. There's also Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love", a couple good ones from Depeche Mode and TSOL, and a great cover of "Suspicious Minds" by Fine Young Cannibals. This is just a good, 80s high school movie with loads of style and tension.

There is always the question, when you're dealing with an Albert Pyun film, of how much he had control over the finished product. Cannon and Golan-Globus were also the team that took Cyborg away from him, so you never know. If it is different, I'm curious to know to what degree, because this was pretty sweet, and I think he did a great job with it. I loved the overall mood of it, it was dripping with tension, but it looked very 80s, and he captured a lot of that. I saw somewhere that someone had this as Pyun's best, and though I wouldn't go that far, it's definitely a solid entry in his filmography.



It's time to play everyone's favorite game: name that Pyun mainstay! We'll start with that dreamy fellow above us, Thom Mathews. Then there's the film's top billed star, John Stockwell, whom you may remember from Radioactive Dreams. Don Michael Paul was in Alien From LA (he also did Down Twisted, which is one we haven't gotten to yet.) DTVC favorite Anthony De Longis was in this, I believe, as the high school cop (I couldn't tell, because he always had his sunglasses on). De Longis was in The Sword and the Sorcerer. Finally, the girl who played Judy Jetson in Vicious Lips has a small cameo as a student council member. After all that, though, it would appear that Thom Mathews is the only real Pyun mainstay-- though I imagine he didn't know at the time how many more Pyun films he'd find himself in.

I mentioned the music above, but I can't write this entire thing without bringing it up again. Two Depeche Mode songs, which were fantastic. The biggest song was had Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love". My personal favorite was the Fine Young Cannibal's cover of "Suspicious Minds", which is also on their 1985 self-titled album. On top of that, the theatrical score was really great too, very Miami Vice, which added a haunting element to the rest of the mood. Part of the fun of revisiting an 80s movie is the music, and this doesn't disappoint-- I wonder if the soundtrack grossed more than the film did at the box office.



Another thing I love is the one-piece bathing suit. Don't get me wrong, I'm as happy with a woman in a bikini as the next guy, but I still love the old one-piece, and we don't see it as often today as we did back then. Remember the girl in the hot white one-piece in Huey Lewis and the News' "If This is It"? Of course you do. Here we have Carey Lowell, she of Law and Order fame, and now Mrs. Richard Gere, rocking the one-piece on the beach. Earlier she wears it in and out of the pool in one of the coolest shots of the movie. I don't know if that's a black lit matte painting that he uses to get that look or what, but it was really cool (I stuck that one in the image page, which also has the Smithereens video for "Blood and Roses). Anyway, as we always do, here's to you one-piece bathing suit, you were one of the good ones.

And also as we always do, it's time to rein this in before we go completely off topic. This is only available on VHS, but it's affordable used so that's good. I had the Media Home Entertainment version, but it looks like there's a Vestron Video version out there as well. No idea on which is better, plus, a used VHS of this at this point isn't going to be in the best shape anyway (take a look at some of the images I grabbed for instance). I think this is worth getting though if you see it in an old VHS bin. Just a solid, 80s high school thriller, directed by Albert Pyun.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090904/

Cobra (1986)

700 is an interesting milestone number. It's not as big as 750, which is huge, because it's three-quarters to 1000, but it is something worth noting, and I figured I'd take the opportunity it affords to review a movie that has a very DTV pedigree, but did extremely well at the box office. Produced by DTVC Hall of Famers Golan-Globus for Cannon films, it was then picked up and distributed by Warner Bros., where it went onto gross almost $50 million domestically, and much more worldwide and through video rentals and sales. A big part of that was the star power of Sly Stallone, who also penned this, but it was a pretty sweet actioner too. Of the many reviews of this on the Internet, our friends Ty at Comeuppance Reviews, Simon at Explosive Action, and Kenner at Movies in the Attic (in his Stallone Binge) are three worth checking out. (And if anyone else has done this, by all means, drop the link in the comments section.)

Cobra has Stallone as Marion Cobretti, aka Cobra, a badass who wants to clean the streets, but feels like bleeding heart liberals are getting in his way-- or not. Anyway, a serial killer is slashing up women, scaring the people of LA, and causing all kinds of panic. Turns out it's a whole army of people doing the killing, and supermodel Brigitte Nielsen catches leader Brian Thompson and co. in the act of cleaning up after a murder. Now they want her dead, and will stop at nothing to do that. Only Cobra has the skills it takes to take them down, and that's just what he plans to do.



I hadn't seen this in years, but I gotta say, I think I like it even more now than I did as a kid. It's way over the top (I know, another Stallone/Cannon collaboration) in it's action, with massive explosions, gun fights, and car chases. It's a sweet case of 80s excess. Yes, it has some misguided political overtones that I'll get into later, but overall, this delivers everything we want from a bad action movie, from the hero, the baddie, the distressed damsel, the one-liners, the fantastic 80s soundtrack, and the balls to the wall excitement. This is what you came for, and Stallone and Golan-Globus don't disappoint. Also, love Cobra's car-- too bad it had to go in a too sweet chase scene!

As you've probably heard me say multiple times on here, mixing politics with action movies is often a losing proposition. I put it behind letting the plot get in the way and casting annoying kids as the worst bad action movie offenses. Here we had some really misguided, misinformed statements about the state of the justice system in 1980s America, from the idea that judges undermine police officers by being too lenient on criminals-- ask all the people who were wrongly convicted at that time that were exonerated by DNA evidence later how they feel about that--, to the media wants to turn criminals into victims-- including an absurd and implausible scene where a reporter berates Stallone for killing a guy who held the patrons of a supermarket at gunpoint and had killed hostages himself; no one has sympathy for that kind of criminal, and the media always vilifies perpetrators like that and has no qualms with the cops killing them--, to finishing with the classic "Brian Thompson will just be found insane and get away with all this"-- which is so dumb I can't even imagine Stallone himself believed that crap when he wrote it. The thing is, this is one of the rare cases where the bad action is so good it transcends these shortcomings. It's like dating the crazy girl that's hot and good in the sack-- you can handle a little psycho texting and stalking when everything else is so hot.



One thing I didn't notice when I was younger that I see now is how great the cinematographer and director infused these Hitchcockian suspense shots. This is the kind of stuff we want from a good horror movie, and it's here in Cobra for Christ's sake! Really amped up the tension for me, and made Brian Thompson that much better a baddie. A good bad action flick is only as good as its baddie, and Thompson is one of the best, but it's always cool to see a film maker taking it that extra mile, and not leaning on his or her actors so much. Modern DTV, with its penchant for using former actors and stuntmen as directors, could learn from casting directors and DPs that know what they're doing, and can add that extra layer, like we see here.

It doesn't get much bigger than Stallone in 1986. Arnold Schwarzenegger was right there with him, and then maybe Bruce Willis after Die Hard in '88, but after that there's some drop off. I have a feeling Van Damme didn't do The Expendables in part because he's always seen himself as on Stallone's level, but we all know that's not really accurate, and taking a bit part in Stallone's movie would have been a not-so-tacit recognition of that fact. The thing with both Stallone and Schwarzenegger was that they felt like they had to not only top each other, but top their own previous work. Everything had to be bigger, badder, more explosive, and eventually the kind of action movie they did imploded under its own weight. But now we've had 15 to 20 years to get that out of our system, and Stallone has come back to us with the kind of stuff from the late 80s/early 90s that we loved, with both The Expendables and Rambo. What I like about something like Cobra though, is that we get to experience 80s excess as it's happening, and guys like Stallone and Schwarzenegger are still in their prime.



This movie was brought to you by Pepsi. This movie was paid for by Pepsi. In this shot you have some Coors too, but mostly this was brought to you by Pepsi. The volume of Pepsi product placement is astounding-- it's like a frickin' football stadium here. I gotta say, though, if Pepsi advertised like this and got rid of their dumb commercials-- and they have some of the dumbest on TV-- I'd buy their shit in a heartbeat, and I don't even drink soda anymore. Same goes for Coors. Get rid of the stupid cans that tell me when they're cold, and the even dumber commercials advertising them; or worse, those annoying ones with the sanctimonious Sam Elliot voice overs; and replace them strictly with DTV action movie product placement, and I'll be a Coors drinker for life. Alas, none of this will ever happen, and so I'm left with water, coffee, and PBR.

All right, before this turns into free adverts for Pepsi and Coors, I better wrap this up. This is a classic bad actioner, and despite some shortcomings, it's a blast. Currently you can check it out on Watch Instantly, but this is one that's worth having in the collection, even if it's only a cheap used DVD or VHS. Also, I'll be saying this again in 50 posts, but I just want to thank everyone for supporting the DTVC, 700 posts and counting!

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090859/