The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at]yahoo.com. I'd love to check out what you got.

Announcement

Announcement

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.

--Matt

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Pentathlon (1994)

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During my senior year of high school, we were allowed to list what activities and clubs we participated in for our four years there. I had a few, like soccer for one year, but nothing to write home about. So my friends and I decided to put in a bunch of fake ones. Modern Pentathlon, was one of the ones I used. After that, I used Modern Pentathlon whenever I needed to list a sport for a security question for an online service. It just seemed to fit years later when I really became a huge Dolph fan that he'd have a film based on this useless sport.

Pentathlon has Dolph as an East German gold medal winning modern pentathlete who defects after the Seoul 1988 Olympics. In the States, there ain't much use for a modern pentathlete, so he works at a diner for TC, because there's not much work for a helicopter pilot after Magnum PI either. At the same time, his former Nazi/Stasi coach, played Hutch of Starsky and Hutch fame of all people, has tracked him to LA in an attempt at revenge. As Dolph plans his comeback for the '96 team, he has to deal with all this crap from these neo-Nazis. If he wasn't Dolph, he probably wouldn't pull it off.

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This movie is a silly as it sounds. I checked it out on www.dolph-ultimate.com, which is also where I got the great images from the film, because the movie's unfortunately only available on VHS. The dude who runs the site had this to say about it:

Easily one of Dolph's best movies. The script is well-written and carries an engaging storyline, and Dolph is in his prime. There's definitely a lot of action in here, but above and beyond that, Dolph portrays his character using a wide range of emotions (humour and drama being the two most notable), which makes for a great movie.

I would've said: a most ridiculous concept for a movie, yet so hilarious that Dolph fans won't find a shortage of great a material to mock. I first screened this with my friends at Dolph Fest '07 a few months ago, and it was an instant hit. The hairdos, the Dolph running, the Dolph in a Speedo, the TC from Magnum, the Hutch from Starsky and Hutch, and the fact that this action film centered around the sport of Modern Pentathlon, all made for entertaining viewing.

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As we've said many times at the DTVC, Dolph Lundgren is the pinnacle of the bad action hero. No one does Direct to Video better. Just the same, I must say I have been remiss in not seeing this way sooner. Dolph Fest '07 was the first time, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit that, because this is a Lundgre-classic. It's not as bad as the guy who was having a conversation with me about Shakespeare who said: "ooh, yeah... I haven't read Macbeth," or my old roommate who was a self-styled Mel Gibson guy that hadn't seen any Mad Max films, but in my mind it's pretty close. At least now I've seen it, and I own it, so no one can impugn my integrity as a Dolph fanatic.

I have to include a couple of words about TC here. He's kind of an Apollo Creed type character from Rocky III, as he leads Dolph on his comeback to former Olympic glory. The interesting thing is that he's killed during the film, while Creed isn't killed until the Rocky after, and by Dolph Lundgren, no less. I still can't get over that scene where Dolph kills Creed in Rocky IV, because I'm a boxing fan, and I've never seen a fight where there weren't doctors on site to monitor the event, yet at this huge deal between Creed and Lundgren that had James Brown at it, it takes Stallone cradling Creed in his arms to yell "Can someone call a doctor!" before help arrives.

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If you're ever lucky enough to find this at a video rental store or a place selling used VHSs, get it immediately: you so won't be disappointed. I'll even go as far as to say if you and your friends really love watching bad movies and making fun of them, go to Amazon and order this puppy. I've never made that kind of recommendation before, but I'm doing it now, because this film is worth it.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110805/

1 comment:

  1. You'll be pleased (and possibly bemused) to know that this is being released on Blu-Ray in the UK! I've been sent a screener so I can give it a watch myself this week. Should be fun :)

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