The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at] I'd love to check out what you got.



Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Point Men (2001)


I think Netflix suggested this one to me. I did a search of Lambert, or I put a Lambert film in my queue, and this one shot up after. I don't really remember. This is the second film I've reviewed here that I used Netflix's instant watch program. Again, I can only seem to get the small screen, and when I try to enlarge to full screen, it wants to do it, then my Internet Explorer closes. I'm not sure why it's doing that, and I don't feel like calling to figure it out. I guess it's better anyway, because I use the small screen to capture images that I can put in the blog.

Point Men is about some Israeli secret service agents that are all foreigners, including Lambert. After some crazy stuff happens, they're all reassigned to desk jobs. Then some terrorist dude that's had his face changed is out there offing them. Lambert's not cool with this, so takes it upon himself to fix the situation.


Not bad. Not good either. Just kind of there. I've seen worse. I've seen better. No cool actors other than Lambert. Lambert's got his moments, but nothing to write home about. You could watch this, and be somewhat entertained, but in all likelihood, you'll fall asleep or your friends will pull out their laptops and check their e-mails.

Of all the Lambert films I've reviewed here, I'd put this at the bottom, but because it's a really blah kind of movie. The problem with it is that it has no real problems. But it also has no real high points. In one scene Lambert has a disguise with a moustache that kind of makes him look like my Uncle Willy. Wow. That's just not enough when competing with chessplaying thrillers, or Lou Diamond Phillips futuristic thrillers, or thrillers that have Dennis Hopper talking to a goat asking it if he can drink its urine for the psychedelic properties. I guess the moral is, if you're going to make a Lambert movie, do something with it.


One other thing I liked was how the terrorist/assassin was able to mimic all kinds of people to get in close and kill his target. The best was the Greek playboy who couldn't speak English well. He never strayed from that, using the term "buff" incorrectly the whole time, as in "film buff". He kept telling the woman he was seducing before killing "we are both buff, yes?" These are subtle elements that, in a great film, add to it's greatness, but in a blah film like this, are essentially wasted. Too bad, because that would've been cool to use in something else.

I must admit, at one time, I was a shopaholic. One of my vices was the Von Dutch trucker hat. I had two, each setting me back $45. I still have one, and I hang it in my room as a reminder of what frivolous spending can do. One of the assassin's friends looks like he's sporting one in this. It'd be a cool touch if he was. Well, that, and the trend didn't get big until the mid-2000s, and this came out in '01, so they didn't even exist then. And four years later, they don't even exist now. Mine might be a collector's item.


This movie has a Bond Girl in it, Maryam d'Abo (second cousin to Olivia d'Abo, from The Wonder Years), who was in the Timothy Dalton classic The Living Daylights. Dalton's an interesting case, because he's considered the fugazi-est of the Bonds, which is probably true, unfortunately. That makes Maryam d'Abo, by association, a fugazi Bond girl. Though that may be harsh, looking at her imdb filmography, it's surprising this is her first go around on the DTVC. The Timothy Dalton Bond film was the highlight of her career. You know who I think'd make a great Bond? Jason Statham. Also Wesley Snipes, with no fake accent. Maybe that's too postmodern.

Don't go crazy about renting this. It's really no big deal. There's plenty else out there you need to see first, and plenty out there I should've seen first too. But I'm here so you won't have to waste your money: I've already wasted it for you... well, kinda... I mean I already pay for Netflix for other films... and it's not like I wasted a rental, because I have unlimited use of the play it now feature... so it's more like I wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life... okay, you get the point.

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