The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at]yahoo.com. I'd love to check out what you got. And check out my book, Chad in Accounting, over on Amazon.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

CyberTracker (1994)

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I thought I saw this a while ago on EncoreAction, but when I got it recently on Netflix, I found out I was wrong. I think it might have been Cyber-Tracker 2, but who knows. Those were the early days of digital cable, when that guide bar could be wrong at anytime, and channels like EncoreAction and ShowtimeXtreme had fluid programming line-ups that could change at a moment's notice. "What, this isn't Class of 1999, it's Gangland."

CyberTracker has Wilson as a CIA agent working security for a controversial senator promoting a new judicial system that's run by computers, and its sentences carried out by vicious cyborgs. Wilson uncovers some stuff he shouldn't, and now he's on the run. Sure, the CyberTrackers after him are tough, but Richard Norton's tougher, and he's pissed because he never liked Wilson in the first place. Wilson's only hope is to turn to a terrorist organization opposed to the senator and his computerized judicial system, and they're a bunch of kids who don't know what they're doing. Does it matter? Does Wilson ever really need back-up?

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This wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty ridiculous, but its ridiculousness was the kind of ridiculous that made me laugh, as opposed to make me angry, and that's always a good thing. The cyborgs could pull guns out of their legs, but like, they would appear and disappear when the cyborg put them near their legs. Later, we found out the cyborgs' skin was made out of some nuclear protoplasm that was described as "the perfect substance." So perfect, in fact, that Wilson could defeat one just by sticking a grenade through his perfect substance skin. We all know that was just another excuse for a huge explosion. And, at least as far as I go, I was fine with it.

This is the first Donny film we've done since mid-March's The Last Sentinel. Wow. A couple months off for a DTVC Hall of Famer, that's big. It's even bigger when you consider the size of his filmography. This is his thirteenth film, but I'd say it's one of his better ones. He has a solid end fight with Norton, which I think we were all waiting for. It wasn't as well choreographed as one might like, because it was more in the knock down drag um out style, as opposed to the technically correct. Wilson will be 55 in September, and he hasn't done anything since 2007's Sentinel. He doesn't even have anything listed as in production. I guess that's okay, because we still have like 15 or 16 more movies of his to review, but I'd like to see something new. He's a good three years younger than Seagal, and Seagal's still at it.

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Gotta love Richard Norton. Great accent, great pecs, and great martial arts. You wanna talk about old, Norton's 59. He actually is older than Seagal. This is the second film he's done with Wilson, the other being Redemption. In this one he actually has a major role, playing the senator's hatchet man, and he's good. His real best stuff is from the late 80s early 90s, and I've only begun to scratch the surface of it. Keep an eye out for Future Hunters, directed by the late Cirio H. Santiago, which will probably be the next film of Norton's I post.

Anyone watch Full House? Uncle Jesse's dad is the senator. I know, I spent the entire film trying to figure out who he was. I knew he played the dad of some Mediterranean sitcom character. I'll be honest, I never liked Full House. I watched it because all the other kids I knew watched it, but even at like 10, I knew it sucked ass. And people wonder why reality TV became so huge in this country. It's because out of all the sitcoms ever made, like five of them were actually entertaining. And that goes for all the TV dramas too. My roommates got rid of cable before I moved out recently, and we were stuck watching NCIS over the antenna. God, who writes crap like that? And who finds it entertaining?

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Speaking of opinions. I try my best to not allow my blog to be a soapbox. The key is to post my reviews of new and old DTV films and see what people think. Sure, I spout off opinions like I just did about the state of writing on TV, but these aren't volatile issues that will offend people or make people with differing views feel unwelcome. I say this, because CyberTracker brings up an issue regarding the opposition to the computerized judicial system. The government calls them terrorists, but the group themselves are the good guys. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, I guess they're saying. I'm going to stay away from it, because I don't want the blog to become a political forum. I have called out films in the past that I felt were too politically charged in one direction or the other; but I don't think that's what's going on here. They're just asking the question, who really is a terrorist?, and I'm saying I won't get into it.

This is good old fashioned human versus cyborg action, with D "the D" Dubs and Richard Norton thrown in. You'll get your money's worth if you rent it cheap or buy it cheap. I got it on Netflix, and wasn't disappointed. If you want something to make fun of, this is a good bet.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109515/

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