The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at]yahoo.com. I'd love to check out what you got.

Announcement

Announcement

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.

--Matt

Friday, July 31, 2009

Cyborg Cop (1993)

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I first saw this way back when it first came out in the early 90s. I didn't really remember it, but since Hard Justice was so good, I knew it needed revisiting. (Am I the only one who's noticed I've been doing a lot of 90s cyborg films lately?)

Cyborg Cop is a romantic comedy starring David Bradley as a disgraced DEA agent on a Caribbean island looking for his brother. He finds much more in the precocious little spitfire of a reporter who's down there looking for a story. First they can't stand each other, then they can't stand being without each other. John Rhys-Davies is a delight as the fat, jolly, bad guy.

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This movie is hilarious. Absolutely. I usually don't like romantic comedies, but this one worked. I think, for me, the worst part about romantic comedies is when the girl dumps the guy, and he becomes a stalker to win her back, and succeeds. It just sends a bad message in our society. This movie stayed away from that, and that's why it was good.

Maybe the funniest part was David Bradley, the hero, sporting a fanny pack. Are you kidding? It's not like fanny packs were so yesterday-- they were never in! Let me get this straight, I'm supposed to take this guy seriously as an action star while he's rocking a fanny pack? When combined with his tight black jeans, it looked like a cod piece and he looked like a ballet dancer. Wow.

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Um, did I mention that David Bradley is rocking a fanny pack? I'm not saying he did it in one scene to pretend he was a tourist, he was using a fanny pack to carry his wallet and passport! I'm sorry, but if your jeans are so tight you need a fanny pack to carry you wallet, you need to move up a waist size. There's been a lot of debate lately on whether a guy should use an umbrella, but I think we're all in agreement that he should never use a fanny pack.

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John Rhys-Davies was-- I'm sorry, I just can't get past the fanny pack. Who let him do that? Where was his agent? Bradley himself should've spoken up. There's plenty of blame to go around. Just look at Nicolas Cage. I mean, he's never actually worn a fanny pack in any of the movies he's been in, but it seems like he has, which is bad enough. If Cage is a tool just because we wouldn't put the fanny pack past him, what does that make Bradley, who actually wore it?

This movie is so funny, you can't go wrong. Either in a large group, or by yourself in your sweats on a lazy Sunday, you'll be entertained. You can rent it or watch it instantly on Netflix, which works; and if you see it for sale cheap on VHS I'd go for it too. You won't be disappointed.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109517/

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So my buddy's wife had us watching this movie, and I must say, I was skeptical at first. It looked like a bad Bring it On rip-off. I couldn't have been more wrong. This is like Ski School at cheerleading camp. It was hilarious from beginning to end, probably one of the best comedies I've seen in a while. Because it made over $15 mill at the box office, it's not eligible for it's own post, so I'm recommending it here. Great flick. Also, the two male leads are playing high school seniors, and one was born in '80, and the other '77. Wow. I was born in '79, and I'm finding I get carded less and less. Maybe if I shaved I'd look like 17.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1083456/

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