Troll 2 (1990)

I have been meaning to get to this one for a long time, and I knew my buddy had it on VHS, but it was in storage or something, and I just forgot about it. Then I found out it was on Watch Instantly, but I realized that I was nearing my 600th post, and figured this would be perfect for it. Troll 2 is a camp horror classic, at least in my eyes, in the same sentence as Bad Taste or Street Trash-- maybe just a notch below Evil Dead 2. Absolutely great stuff, and it's a travesty that it's taken me until post 600 to make it happen, but as we in The Biz say, "better late than never!" Also, Mr. Gable's Reality did a great post on this recently which you should definitely check out. He included video clips of some of the more memorable scenes.

Troll 2 is actually not about trolls, but goblins. It centers around Joshua, a young boy whose dead grandfather reads to him about the creepy creatures. The kid's inept father signs the family up for some country bumpkin exchange program, where his family lets a farm family live in their house, while they live out on the farm. The farm is located in the small village of Nilbog... duh duh daaaah! As Joshua's dead grandfather comes back from the grave to try and warn Joshua of the impending doom his father is sending them to, Joshua has to convince his family that he's not crazy, before the goblins turn them into plants and eat them.



This is one the best bad movie night films ever. This is what you came for: bad acting, script that wasn't proofread, hilarious villains, it's all there. Load up the beer or soft drinks and other assorted junk foods, and have at it. I mean, I don't know where to begin with how awesome this is. Let's start with the name: Troll 2-- only there aren't any trolls, they're goblins! Then you have this kid's dad, who is either whining or aggressively overbearing, yet always poorly acted; or the grandfather, who also whines, kind of looks like Ernest Hemingway, and has all sorts of weird powers, the least of which is coming back from the dead. There's also the popcorn sex scene, the girl who decks her boyfriend because he hangs out with his friends too much, the mom who often has zero expression and seems hellbent on becoming goblin food, or the Elvira wannabe who is all hopped up on overacting pills. That doesn't even touch the people who turn into trees, or the line "you don't piss on hospitality". No sir, you do not.

This film celebrated its 20th anniversary last year, and it's only gotten better with age. You can keep your Saw 33 1/3 or Hostel Part Deux, but I like my horror campy and gory. I mean, I've seen those other movies, and they're just as dumb, if not dumber, and what's worse, they take themselves so much more seriously than the awesomeness that we have here. Hey, if people like that other kind of brutal horror, by all means, take it, and put it in 3-D for all I care, I'll stick with my Troll 2.



According to imdb, this is number 62 on their Bottom 100. I believe that makes the sixth film on that list that we've covered, the others being Pocket Ninjas (8), Simon Sez (80), Battlefield Earth (84), American Ninja V (88), and Alien From L.A. (97) (as an aside, Fat Slags is also in there, a Dolph Lundgren film from England that we haven't done...). It seems like we should've done more of those here at the DTVC, doesn't it?

There really is nothing like watching a film with a script that wasn't proofread. Sometimes words and terms are repeated in the same sentence, sometimes words are used that are so unnatural-- "what if my dad discovers you up here?"--, and then there's my personal favorite, when items are referenced incorrectly. In this you had two kids running from the goblins, and they come across a church, which in the original script was just a house, and they didn't change it after they scouted the location, so the kids say "let's hide in this house." Later, in an even funnier attempt to rectify this error, one of the townsfolk refers to it as "the old church that's now a house." Just more of why I think this movie is so awesome.



Troll 2 is chock full of product placement. As a sports geek, I love all the vintage pennants and posters on the kid's wall, especially the Daryl Strawberry one. No Boston teams though, which was a bit of a downer. Also, the kid rocks a G.I. Joe shirt, while his sister has a Garfield zodiac night shirt, Aries, with Garfield sporting a couple horns. There's also a too sweet Batman poster, from the Tim Burton movie, in the kid's room. My personal fave was this Johnny Depp poster his sister had. There was also a Tom Cruise one. It was a reminder to us that there are real actors out there, just not in this movie.

I watched this for the review on Netflix Watch Instantly, but they don't have it available on DVD to rent. Also, Amazon has it every way imaginable to buy, from VHS all the way to Blu-Ray. I know there's a trend in the low-budget movie watching community to get gems like these on VHS, as a form of nostalgia, and I can't think of a better movie to do that with than this one. Get the crew together, load up on the booze and junk food, and let 'er rip. Troll 2 is the reason why you have bad movie night.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105643/