Catch .44 (2011)

We kick off our Bruce Willis week with Catch .44, what looks to be a fun, stylish, Noir-ish thriller starring him, Forrest Whitaker, Brad Dourif, and one of the Cullen family vampires from Twilight.  The question is: is it good, or too Tarentino-y and too self-indulgent?  I guess we'll see.  Also, our friends at The Video Vacuum and Saturday Night Screening have looked at this one as well.

Catch .44 follows Malin Ackerman, a beautiful waitress who, with her friends Deborah Ann Woll and Nikki Reed (the vampiress), runs drugs for local crime lord Bruce Willis.  They're given a special assignment to bust up a drug deal at a diner outside of town set up by some dudes trying to move in on Willis's turf.  Things go wrong though, and could go even more wrong when local police sheriff Brad Dourif and Willis's hatchetman Forrest Whitaker get involved.  How will it all play out?



This one didn't work for me.  I could call it self-indulgent, because that's how a lot of these come off, but seeing that writer/director Aaron Harvey hasn't done much work, it might be more that he's working out the kinks in his game, and unfortunately he's working his kinks out with some big time names attached to his film, thus getting it a bigger audience.  To give you an idea of how much it didn't work for me: fifteen minutes in, without thinking about it, I picked up a magazine next to me and started flipping through it.  As far as I could tell, the only real tension we had, based on the non-linear storytelling, came near the end in the form of a Mexican Standoff, and while that worked really well, it does not a solid movie make.  We also had a really funny scene that I'll discuss in the final paragraph, but that was about it.  There were some lapses in logic that made the film not make any sense, primarily that Ackerman's character was supposed to be so street smart, yet she fell for an obvious set-up, and her friend, Nikki Reed's character, seemed to be onto these things, which lessened the quality of Ackerman's part.  I guess what I'm saying is, if Reed is so smart, why am I rooting for Ackerman?  Again, between the fact that it couldn't hold my interest, and the way the script had holes, it's a pass for me.

What is Bruce Willis doing in this movie?  He's in it at the very beginning.  Then he has an interesting scene with Ackerman where he's wearing a Speedo and a bathrobe, which isn't bad.  Then there's the indulgent one with Forrest Whitaker in the diner that didn't make the money we expected it to make.  But it's still Bruce Willis, and while he couldn't save this movie, he was still fun to watch.  On the other hand, as someone who was coming to it for Willis, the lack of him was a disappointment, so that might be an issue for you too.  I just couldn't figure out who he was supposed to be: flamboyant, uncouth local crime lord; or stone cold no nonsense seasoned crime boss.  The fact the he wasn't enough of either to be one or the other made neither side work ultimately.



After Willis, Nikki Reed's character was one that worked for me, which made it all the more disappointing that her character was used to poorly.  Right off the bat, we see her in that classic post-Tarentino pseudo-philosophical swill conversation, pretty much calling bullshit on Ackerman's theories on compromise, yet I got the sense that we were supposed to look at that scene as a "wow, isn't Ackerman's character smart?", when it achieved the opposite.  Out of all the characters in the film, it was Reed's that was best written, and had the film either A) based it on her, or B), swapped her and Ackerman's if the idea was to make Ackerman the star, I think I would've come away with a better take.

I wasn't sure what to go with for this paragraph.  First, we had the classic-yet-annoying practice of the still screen with the character's name splashed on the screen, only here it was especially egregious, because it often happened after we already knew who these people were.  Word to the wise: if you think you have a smart movie script, it'll look not-so-smart really quick if you can't organically introduce your characters through the script.  Second, I don't know what Forrest Whitaker was doing here.  He affected a Spanish accent, and we don't know if that was who he was, or his character was affecting it too, but I felt like it wasted what was a great Whitaker.  Once Whitaker signed on, I think that part should've been rewritten, but that's just me.  Finally, Brad Dourif was barely in this at all.  What could he have been had he been in it more?  Who knows, because, like Whitaker and Willis, he's an exceptional acting talent.



I saved this last paragraph for one great joke that the film had, where the women, while driving to their job, listen to Bruce Willis's album.  Remember that gem?  According to Saturday Night Screening, who listened to the director's commentary, the director wrote this scene in before Willis signed onto the project, so it wasn't intentional, and ended up working even better because of it.  Back in the mid-2000s, my buddy and I met some friends down in Boston at one of their friend's apartment, and my buddy decided to go through her music collection.  He found this gem among her cassettes and CDs, and didn't hesitate to fire it up.  No "look what I just found", no, "hey, why do you have this?", nope, just started playing it.  It was a thing of beauty.

Unfortunately I can't say the same for this film.  It didn't work on multiple levels, and the Willis factor, while he was good in it, was too small with his character's limited screen time.  Too bad, because there were some elements of it that could've worked, had they been the focus more than some of the ones that didn't.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1886493/

Sworn to Justice (1996)

If you look up Cynthia Rothrock on Netflix, you'll see a sea of green, as in most of her films have been relegated to the dreaded "Saved" section of the site, meaning they are currently-- and probably will always be-- unavailable. Somehow this one has slipped through the cracks though, and I was able to get it on DVD from them. How long that will last, I don't know.

Sworn to Justice has Rothrock as a psychiatrist working as a consultant for a law firm. She comes home from vacation to find robbers in her house that have already killed her sister and nephew who were staying at her place while she was out of town. She fights them off, jumps out of her apartment, hits her head on a tree, and finds she has ESP. Armed with her psychic powers and too sweet martial arts skills, she's out for revenge, and I'd hate to get in her way.



I was torn on this one. On the one hand, it was a pretty big departure from the action flicks Rothrock usually does, where she's essentially a woman playing a man's part. Here she's a woman, wears a lot of hot outfits, and even has a love scene, which she's never done before. There were also some really nice fight scenes, and some really cool special appearances by Walter Koenig, Brad Dorif, and Mako-- plus Dawson's mom from Dawson's Creek. On the other hand, the plot fell off a bit and became bad Lifetime movie-esque. Brad Dourif's connection to the robbery that killed her family was a stretch, as was her best friend having an obsessive lesbian crush. There was also a sense that the intentions were good, but there was too much going on. They tried to go Jackie Chan martial arts comedy for one scene, but added a bunch of silly sound effects that made it too out of place and honestly kind of dumb-- which is too bad, because it was really choreographed well. Sometimes less is more-- though more fights and less plot would've been a better equation, because with a story like this, the more plot the more bad lifetime you get, and throwing in the martial arts scenes after that makes for a major identity crisis.

When I saw the Rothrock love scene, I was thinking "I don't remember seeing her in one of these before." As luck would have it, this came with a making of featurette, and in it she said she'd never done one before, so I was right. One the one hand I thought it was cool that she had a chance to do that, but on the other, I'm not sure I like the idea of any action star, male or female, doing the love scene. I was always of the opinion that in the male instance, it was one of the perks of the job-- love scene with the hot female lead, maybe two. In Van Damme's case, it was also a great moment to throw in the butt shot. I guess what I'm saying is, I like that she did it, and I like that her character could fall in love with a guy instead of just be one of the guys, but the love scene is a part of the action film that in general has to go.



Also in the featurette, the director made a point that I've always kind of noticed before, that action films are closer to musicals in terms of pacing and the way characters express themselves. When you think of good musicals though-- and I know most of you reading this blog don't!-- we're never allowed to go too far between numbers. And maybe that's why I get on action movies so much for getting lost in the plot, because they think they're making an art house flick, as opposed to something more like a musical where the dance routines are replaced by major ass kicking. As I mentioned above, this film wasn't too bad on the ratio, the problem was just that the plot outside of the action was so borderline Lifetime movie that the difference between the two, the action and the plot, made for a major identity crisis.

Art Camacho was one of three fight choreographers in this. Rothrock asked that Douglas Kung be flown in from Hong Kong, plus Eric Lee did some as well. You'd think there'd be a too many cooks in the kitchen thing with that, but the opposite was true, because a lot of this stuff was really great. One thing I didn't get though, was that Ian Jacklin had a cameo as a chop shop guy, and he gets his ass kicked without fighting by the main baddie. Why would you do that? Why not have him get after it? In that same vein, Vince Murdocco was a member of the baddie's gang, and he did more acting than fighting? Again, why would you do that? Murdocco isn't an actor because he can act, he's an actor because he's a champion martial artist. With the kind of choreography talent they had, we should've had some cool shit with these two, and we got nothing.



I wanted to finish this by discussing Rothrock's final thought in the featurette. She talked about how she wanted to be a role model for women everywhere and inspire them to take their own martial arts classes. It sounded like it was less for self-defense, and more about overall empowerment, but either way I think it's a solid message. Obviously not every woman is the kind of athlete she is, but the fact that she's out there at 5'5" doing all her own stunts is still pretty crazy, and she can sell that image of herself as a genuine one for other women to look at as more than just the girl who gets rescued by the hero-- or has to look like a man to be the hero.

I'm still kind of torn on this one. Definitely a must for Rothrock fans, because it is a very different kind of role for her, despite still being an action lead. The guest stars were great too, as were the fight scenes. It did have its drawbacks though, and I guess for me, I liked it in spite of that, but you may not. If anything, I'd get this through Netflix while you still can or another way that won't involve you making a huge financial investment.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117803/

Interceptors aka Interceptor Force (1999)

I don't really know what's taken me so long to get this movie done. I've had it on Watch Instantly for over a year now, maybe close to 18 months. I think what happens is I throw a film on my Instant Queue, and then forget about it, with the idea that I can get to it whenever. Right now I don't just have DTV films in there, but tons of Criterion Collection movies. If you have Netflix, Criterion on Watch Instantly is one of the coolest things, because a lot of the great foreign classics you've maybe not gotten to yet but have always been meaning to are on there. Of course, if you're like me, there's so many I've been meaning to see, and I just never seem to be able to get to them.

Interceptor Force has Olivier Gruner with 80s teen sensation William Zabka and Showgirls alum Glenn Plummer as mercenary extractors that are called in by Brad Dourif to go to Mexico and pick up the debris of a crashed fighter jet. What they don't know is the debris is really extraterrestrial, and the alien that came with it is a dangerous killer. Not only that, the Mexican town is run by a drug cartel, and they want to kill Gruner and his crew too. And not only that, but Dourif made them take two extra people with them, Boa vs. Python's Angel Boris and a guy who looked like a young Adrian Monk, and these people are keeping things from them, only revealing them as the plot requires. Will Gruner make it out alive?



First 15 minutes, amazing film. Gruner kicking ass and taking names, then picked up by a plane and joking around with Zabka and Plummer. Who'd a thunk we'd only get one more great scene like that for the rest of the film. Everything else was bad Predator crossed with bad Terminator 2. The problem with all these alien invasion films is they get caught up in their crummy plots. They make these aliens that are impossible to stop, write themselves into corners, and then walk all over the paint and track it back into the house, making a bigger mess, instead of starting over and making a better overall story. The way to go would've been politician's daughter is kidnapped by the drug cartel, and Gruner's men are called in to get her back.

Gruner was awesome here, which made this all the more disappointing. At least they didn't completely waste him, but they didn't use him enough. Gruner's at his best when he's allowed to really get after it. He makes the one-on-ten fight believable, which in turn makes it awesome. This also puts Gruner in double figures for movies up here finally, which is kind of surprising. I looked back at my past Gruner posts, and a lot of them say the same thing-- why doesn't he have more reviews? I guess he's just one of those ones who gets lost in the shuffle. Next up for him will be T.N.T., which I'm shocked Netflix still has.



This is our second William Zabka film, the first being Gale Force, starring Michael Dudikoff and Treat Williams. Anyone who digs 80s movies like I do, has to love William Zabka. It's often hard to reconcile how he looks in these DTV films with the bully or heel from a lot of my faves. What I found interesting when going over his bio is how few films he actually did. He was such an icon of that era, in my brain I associate him with so many other movies that he didn't have anything to do with. I'm trying like a trooper to get my hands on the Shootfighter films, which are must haves. Cross your fingers.

There was a pretty sweet supporting cast, with Ernie Hudson jr., Brad Dourif, and Glenn Plummer. Also, we have Angel Boris, who is special because she starred in Boa vs. Python, the first film we ever reviewed here at the DTVC. Shows you how big of a deal it was to me, considering I was away for the weekend and forgot that Saturday marked the three year anniversary. I'm a moron, because I thought May 5th was our first day. Anyway, we've come a long way in that time, and I want to thank everyone for all their support. If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have even made it out of May 2007, let alone May 2010 and beyond.



Whenever I feel like a moron, I found a new way to raise my self-esteem: Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. Have you seen this show? All these crazy dudes with crazy hairdos try to explain everything in human history by saying aliens did it for us or taught us how to do it. I saw it late Saturday night, only to find out it's actually on in primetime! I can see 2AM to capture that crazy insomniac demographic, but primetime? There's enough of a market for that? I want to believe they're all just like me, and want to feel smarter, because the idea that that many people are watching that show and thinking everything humans ever accomplished was through the aid of fictitious aliens... that kinda scares me.

Interceptor Force is pretty pedestrian outside of two great Olivier Gruner fight scenes. Considering it's on Netflix Watch Instantly, if you have that you're only investing your time, which isn't so bad. I'm not even sure it's in the "so bad it's good" category, because the story is so lame and derivative. Again, other than the two great fight scenes, nothing to write home about.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167215/

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009)

When I reviewed the Abel Ferrara/Harvey Keitel Bad Lieutenant back in August of 2008, this newer Werner Herzog-directed film starring Nicolas Cage was still in development. I ended up missing it when it played at our local indie theater, but luckily Netflix shipped it out to me the day it was released on DVD. Netflix rules! And just in time for our Wild Card post this week.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans isn't quite the movie the other Bad Lieutenant was. Both had drug addicted police lieutenants that get in over their heads with gambling debts and what not, but that's where the similarities end. In this one, Nicloas Cage plays a cop who injures his back saving a criminal from a flooded holding cell during the aftermath of Katrina. He's promoted to lieutenant for his sacrifice, but is also prescribed a cocktail of pain relievers, which leads him down the primrose path to addiction. As his myriad ways of obtaining drugs start to catch up with him and the net is closing in, he finds an unlikely ally in the crime lord he'd been trying to take down for the slaying of a family of five.

I liked this, I don't know if I'd say a lot, but I liked it. There were scenes and images I liked a lot, but the film as a whole had some issues. The end was kind of odd to me, for one thing. Obviously I can't get into that without giving the film away, so maybe someone else who's seen it can either back me up or tell me I'm crazy. Herzog's direction really worked, and he and Cage had a great actor/director chemistry. I'm not sure I can choose between this one or the Ferrara/Keitel one either, because they're so different. While Ferrara's direction made me think of French New Wave, Herzog's made me think of... well... Herzog. A better script would have made it great.

One thing I can say about this, is it's worth ten National Treasures in artistic merit, but it's not worth a hundredth of a National Treasure in terms of earning potential. I think that's why it's so hard to judge Nicolas Cage based on The Weather Man or Knowing, because those sacks of asscrack pay the bills; and if we're realistic, take a lot less work to accomplish as an actor than Bad Lieutenant: PC-NO. A lot of my friends say to me all the time how they can't stand Cage, and I used to agree, until I revisited Leaving Las Vegas last fall, and was reminded of what made Cage great. His role here will remind you again.

Klaus Kinski is a member of our DTVC Hall of Fame, and though we've left him for a bit to look at other actors, it's important to bring him up if we're talking about Werner Herzog. Are they the best actor/director pairing of all time? I think some much better cases could be made for Kurosawa/Mifune or Scorsese/De Niro, so probably no. Are they the most intriguing pair of all time? I think you could look at the five films they've done together and answer yes. But it wasn't really those films I had in my mind as I watched this, it was another of Herzog's: a documentary called Grizzly Man. It was just this window into how Herzog sees the world, and puts a film like Bad Lieutenant: PC-NO into perspective--this idea that the wild is vicious and deadly, and humans that veer too far in that direction face dire consequences. I was kind of upset, because there are some scenes in the film (again, I won't give them away) that I would've liked to known Herzog's thought process on, but this DVD didn't have any director's commentary--it didn't have any commentary for that matter.

One thing evident in the Kinski/Herzog films though, is that it's Herzog who gets Kinski, not the other way around--I can't imagine Kinski would've cared to get Herzog, or anyone else for that matter. In Bad Lieutenant: PC-NO, something different happens: Cage seems to get what Herzog is about, and he works in that realm. It makes this a very different film from those other five. There wasn't that sense of struggle, and I think Herzog needs that when he works. Again, there was no commentary, but I can't imagine Cage was giving him anywhere near the hard time Kinski always did; and oddly enough, I think that harmony affected the film. Herzog tried to convey conflict on the screen in a variety of ways, but I'm not so sure it's something that can always be manufactured if the feeling off set is too harmonious.

Finally, you'd think with Eva Mendes in the film, it would be her that I'm talking about as the hottest woman in the film, and though she was hot, it was Fairuza Balk in only one scene who stood out. This is one area where a foreign director who lives by his own rules like Herzog can really turn some of our preconceived notions upside-down. The average American director looks to Balk for their goth chick or scary chick. Herzog saw something else, and he went with it, resulting in this scene where Balk's character thinks she's going to have sex with Cage, is seductively crawling over him in bed in her underwear and police boots, only to find out he's too wasted and is only there with her to find out how she can get him drugs from the Louisiana Highway Patrol evidence locker. Without her being as hot as she is in that scene, we have no idea how far gone Cage is, and it all works perfectly.

I think most of my readers would enjoy this. Best way to know: if you hated National Treasure, you'll like Bad Lieutenant: PC-NO. I also think, if you're a big fan of the Ferrara/Keitel version, you should watch this. It's no cheap knock off, this is it's own movie, and it's interesting to compare the two. If I was going to pick, I'd say the earlier one is the more complete film, making it better in my eyes.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1095217/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Death Machine (1995)

I'm sure I'm not the only fan of bad movies that's noticed the preponderance of films with two-word titles. DTVC Hall of Famer Michael Dudikoff seems to do them almost exclusively (American Ninja, Virtual Assassin, Gale Force, American Ninja 2...). I think they just work better than ones with fewer or more words in the title. "What should we rent?" "Railing Kill!" "What's it about?" "Who cares, it sounds awesome!" I'd rent a movie called Railing Kill.

Death Machine takes place in a future that's half Max Headroom and half crap, where a weapons manufacturer named CHAANK (I thought it was funny too) has come under fire for some inhumane practices, i.e. they're using MIA battle vets and turning them into supersoldiers. Ely Pouget is the woman sent in to clean things up, but what she doesn't realize is that Brad Dourif is the nutcase dude living in the basement who really runs the show. When she fires him, he sends this thing called War Beast after her. At the same time, a burly bear of a man that wants to help her take the company back, but also has dubious motives, has joined her; and three dudes who want to stop CHAANK for humanity's sake have invaded the CHAANK headquarters to blow it up. Now the five of them must outlast Dourif and his War Beast.



I'm not sure what to make of this. The film's makers obviously loved all the movies I did, because the characters are all named after directors like Sam Raimi and Ridley Scott. That being said, even as an imitation of those film luminaries, this isn't even in the ballpark. It's got some cool stuff, but it's not like you can't get that cool stuff from watching a classic like Robocop again. At least that has Peter Weller.

One of the terrorists working in the name of humanity that invaded the CHAANK headquarters looked really familiar. His name is John Sharian, and I looked him up on imdb to find out where I'd seen him before. He was the fat naked guy in Romasanta. Luckily for all involved, no one has to see his junk flopping around here. He's actually not a bad guy even.



Ely Pouget is a woman. A rather hot woman, but a woman nonetheless. I didn't know that, considering her name is Ely. She's one of those people you think's been in a bunch of other stuff, then you look her up on imdb and find out she's just been on some Matlock episodes and whatnot. I think she must've also done some commercials. This movie was very interesting in how they dealt with her. She's kinda the lead protagonist, but unlike an Aeon Flux or a Ultraviolet, she's not just a hot chick who can fight, she's actually a tough chick who doesn't mess around. I liked that she was attractive, but didn't wear skimpy outfits and such: her brain and intestinal fortitude were what counted. Of course, you can't have a hero like her in mainstream Hollywood, because it's all about tits and ass. She'd have to dress like the administrator on House (My roommates watch it, not me...)

The War Beast is funny, and I'm not sure if it's supposed to be or not. It has these big teeth and long claws. It also smells fear. I'm not kidding. If you're not afraid of it, it can't kill you. It sounds like a monster from a bad Vin Diesel movie, doesn't it. Can you imagine him with a bunch of other D-list actors who are all afraid of the War Beast coming to kill them. "It sees your fear," he'd say in a dull monotone. They'd all be like "What?", and he'd turn slowly "Your pheromones... it sees your fear..." I bet that film would make like twenty mill at the box office and another thirty or forty in DVD rentals and sales.



I always love when futuristic movies that're made in the past use out of date technology. This one uses 3 1/4 floppy disks to transfer information. The film was made in 1995, so I know we still used those things back then, but we also knew CDs were cooler, and in the future we'd be using them more. How hard would it've been to pick up a pack of CD-Rs at the store and use them in the movie? It would've looked better. Considering the technology's there in the future to download my personality onto a disk, replace the information in my brain with a bunch of fighting skills, and then restore my old personality into my brain when I'm done fighting, I'd think there'd be a better portable data storage device than the floppy disk. Maybe that's just me.

This movie was on Sci-Fi recently at 3AM, and I think that's a good place for it. Spending money on it's a bad thing, so I wouldn't do that. One thing I thought was cool was that I TiVoed it, and it was on my list of programs, so for like a week people would scan my recorded list and see "Death Machine". Then they'd go "you watch the dumbest movies, Matt". Yes, I do.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109575/

Shadow Hours (2000)

Wow. That's all I have to say bout this little gem. Wow. I found it on ShowtimeXtreme while scanning my program guide after a long night of reading for a class. The name Peter Weller was all I needed to pull me in, and this film did not disappoint.

In addition to DTVC Hall of Famer Peter Weller, this film has Balthazar Getty, Rebecca Gayheart, Corin Nemec (for like five minutes), the bad guy from The Mask, and Michael Dorn. I must say, even though I'm not a huge Trek guy, and I watched CHiPs long before Dorn donned the big bump in ST: TNG, it's still fun to see him in anything post Trek playing something other than a Klingon. It's an added wrinkle that this movie didn't need, but had, which made it all the more special.

Getty plays a recovering addict who takes a third shift job at a convenience store to support his wife Gayheart and the child they're expecting. He meets Weller, who plays a mysterious writer. Weller takes Getty all over the city, getting him into this situation or that, each one slightly more disturbing than the first. We start to wonder exactly who Weller's character really is, and it's never fully explained, but I think he's supposed to be the devil. In one great scene, Weller takes Getty to a pit fight, only to have Weller as one of the combatants. He roundly destroys his opponent, which frightens Getty, but is amazing to me.

What's not to like about this movie? It's got plenty of P Dubs, and we're reminded once again why he's in the Hall of Fame. As in other DTV movies he's done, he lends a touch of class and professionalism we often don't see in A-List stars doing big name pictures (Cage in National Treasure comes to mind, as does Travolta in the fraudulent Punisher-- we all know the real one had Dolph in it.). This movie doesn't just stop at Weller, though. They take it up a notch by adding in a post-Trek Dorn. Simply first rate. Furthermore, there isn't an overbearing plot or too much Getty to dampen the good parts. The Breed could take a cue from this and the way they used Adrian Paul.

If I have one qualm, it's simply that this movie, when compared to some of Weller's other DTV greats, is a little lacking. If Top of the World or Shakedown didn't exist, I'd give this an A. But they do, so this is a B.

Rent this, buy this, TiVo it: it's all worth it. P Dubs lives up to his Hall of Fame name. This is the kind of movie you pass up a The Breed for. Do what you can to find this, you won't be disappointed.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0226430/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/