Delta Delta Die! (2003)

In looking to get more Julie Strain on the site, I saw this on Tubi and figured it would do the trick. I also hadn't done horror in a while, and this looked like a fun one, especially considering it was produced by the great Charles Band. With all this going for it, let's see how it did.

Delta Delta Die! is about a sorority that is renown for their fantastic meat pies. Turns out, those meat pies have a secret ingredient: the flesh of meathead jocks. Led by their house mother, Julie Strain, the ladies need to lure as many men as possible to the sorority house so they have enough beefy man flesh to fill their buffet. The problem is, intrepid intern Tobias is onto these ladies, and he has a plan to stop them: call in former sister Brinke Stevens, who has a history with Strain. Stevens is up to the task, so she comes to town to help Tobias take these women down. But will Julie Strain go down that easily? 

This was fun, but kind of unremarkable. Except for Julie Strain. She comes in and really gets after it, killing poor jocks, throwing their parts into a blender, chewing on them and spitting them out, all while wearing a top that shows off her boobs. Then we have Brinke Stevens, another B-movie horror legend, who's on a collision course to wackiness with Strain, and we're treated to a Russ Meyer-style wrestling match between the two of them for an end fight. I think from the unremarkable standpoint though, there wasn't much going on in the scenes the two of them weren't in. Yes, if I take myself back to 2003, as a 24-year-old I would've easily been lured into the sorority house by the ladies, but fortunately in 2003 I was a bit heavy, and at 5' 7", definitely no chiseled jock, so I guess I could take solace in knowing I wouldn't have been a target of them. And to that point, I think turning the usual serial killer targeting women thing on its ear was a nice change of pace, and Strain is the woman you'd want to deliver that kind of evil. I don't know if this is a go out of your way for it movie, but if you want something that brings you back to a different time, this is a fun one.

We're now at 5 films for Julie Strain on the site, so we have a long way to go to get her tag count up to a respectable level. This is also our first film since her Hall of Fame induction back in October of 2021, so we've had ample opportunities since then to review more of her stuff. And watching her here reminds me of why I should be getting more of her stuff up, because she took what was a rather unremarkable low-budget horror film and made it something more. She just has such a fantastic presence, and she absolutely goes for it in every scene. It's a shame we lost her, and a shame I'm only now catching up to getting more of her films on the DTVC, because she's one of the true queens of DTV and low-budget films. I think one fear I sometimes have when I see one of her films listed, is that she might not be in it as much. Another concern is, like Battle Queen 2020, that the Tubi version is edited so we don't get the whole thing--and I'd love to cover that one, because it's her and the great Jeff Wincott! Either way, I need to get over those concerns and just review more of her stuff, and I'll start making that happen.

Remember when sending emails looked like that? I didn't, I was so used to how they looked now, I'd completely forgotten. Even the Arial font doesn't look like that Arial anymore. It's an interesting thing about time and this movie, because it also felt like a 90s movie that was made in the 2000s. Like the clothes and technology--like emails and cellphones--were definitely early 2000s, but the vibe of the movie was like something from 10 years before. So I was watching a film from 20 years ago that felt like it was made ten years too late. It was a difficult thing to wrap my brain around. And then in that mental miasma, Julie Strain showed up in a top where her boobs came through, and killed two jocks and ground their flesh up in a blender while chewing on and spitting out bits of their flesh, and it all made sense again, only to have the scene change and my brain warped again by the mix of something from 20 years ago that felt like it was made 10 years too late. Is there a term for that? "Deja vu all over again"? "I'm older than I'm younger than I was"? Maybe the Germans have something for it, like "Scheissezeitgehirn"?

The other B-movie legend in this is Brinke Stevens, someone who also hasn't been on the site much. In Droid Gunner she played a mutant with feline features; and then in 24 Hours to Midnight, she was the voice of the Rothrock ninja called in by Fong to add in scenes Rothrock wasn't there for after she quit the picture. The thing that makes Brinke Stevens great here, is she's the only person who could take Julie Strain down, anyone else we wouldn't believe it. Unlike Strain, who I know needs to be on here more and it's my bad that she isn't, Brinke Stevens, while someone I've always enjoyed seeing, does much more horror, and over time the DTVC has slanted more action. That wasn't our intention, but the action reviews always garnered more engagement from readers, which led to more requests and recommendations, which then led to more action films getting reviewed on the site at the expense of the other genres. Perhaps if I do get to more horror stuff down the road, we'll see more of her here, because Stevens is truly another one of the greats.

Getting back to the lack of horror on the site, in the 90s and 2000s, my friends and I watched as much, if not more, DTV horror, and something like this would've been a rental we'd have gotten for a get-together. As I've mentioned above though, as I was posting reviews, the action ones were getting more engagement. One area where you see why, is a DTV horror film might have 20 or 30 external reviews, whereas a PM flick might only have 5-7. The action review ecosystem was much smaller then, and people looking for that kind of thing had fewer options. The result is, we're at a place now where the last horror film I reviewed was Ash and Bone in February, which was a screener request, and then the last one I did on my own before this was Black Friday back in November. I don't know if that will ever change though, because we have become so action oriented--compare the now 146 horror tags versus 809 action tags--but I could stand to mix in horror more often I think, if only because it was such a huge part of my DTV origins, and I don't think we'd have a DTVC without it.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Here in the States you can get this on Tubi. Outside the US, I'm not sure, and I'm not sure you need to go too far out of your way for it. Strain is fantastic, and Stevens is a great foil to Strain, but beyond that, it doesn't have a lot going on. 

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0349343

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Trancers III (1992)

Having done the first two of these, and being a huge Tim Thomerson fan, and seeing that this was free to stream on Tubi, I figured I'd give it a shot. Throw in that 75-minute runtime, and I was all in. This was also reviewed by our friend Mitch at the Video Vacuum, so you can head over there to see what he thought.

Trancers III follows Jack Deth (Thomerson) living a mundane life in 1990s LA as a private detective. All that changes when a big android/alien dude comes from the future and press-gangs him into going back with him to fight the trancers. Deth's new mission: go back to 2005 and stop the US government's Trancer program before it gets off the ground. There he meets back up with his ex-wife Helen Hunt, who's harboring a woman (Melanie Smith) who escaped the Trancer program. She could be the key to his stopping it. When he gets caught though all bets are off. He has nothing to fear though, right? Only squids can be tranced...

It's fascinating that Thomerson, Hunt, Megan Ward, and a big android alien looking dude in a 75-minute package could drag, but this did. I mean, 75 minutes of Thomerson scowling and burning heaters in a trench coat should be enough to do it, so what did this do wrong? The biggest culprit was Deth spent a good portion of the second half of the film strapped to a chair getting tranced. Come again? He wasn't stalking the hallways, cigarette in his mouth and gun in hand, taking out Trancers? And what happened to that big alien/android guy? How was this not those two in a buddy cop paradigm? One thing thing I'll give it though: the shorter runtime makes all of these issues much more tolerable. It's a lesson to all filmmakers out there, better to be at 75 minutes than 105.

This is Tim Thomerson's 16th film at the DTVC. That's really high for a non-Hall of Famer, which begs the question: could he ever get in? Perhaps he'd already be in if I hadn't gone on hiatus for 4 years or so. Just the same, when a film has a lead of his quality, he can really make up for its shortcomings; but if he's not used right, he can also exacerbate them, and I think that's what happened here. Tim Thomerson is not a man to be strapped down to a chair and tortured most of a film. That's not what we come to a Thomerson movie for, we want the Thomerson we know a love, this guy in the trench coat mean mugging it and burning heaters, and this unfortunately didn't have enough of that.

Helen Hunt is back for the third and last time. Mad About You started in 1992, the same year this one came out. By 1996 she was in Twister, and by 1997 she had an Oscar. I was trying to think how many Oscar winners we've had on here. De Niro, Pesci, and Pacino, plus Scorsese and Kathryn Bigelow as directors; also Ernest Borgnine, Jack Palance, and Angelina Jolie. Probably the one who's had the most tags is Cuba Gooding Jr. Stallone won one for Best Screenplay, as did Quentin Tarantino, who was in the crew of the Dolph workout film Maximum Potential. It's crazy to think our site has had that many Oscar winners, since we're mostly looking at movies like this, but it's always cool when you can see someone either like Helen Hunt, who is pre-Oscar and big network TV show; or if it's someone like Cuba Gooding Jr. or Ernest Borgnine who had the great career and came to DTV after.

Look at that crazy bastard below there. How could you not center the whole film around him and Thomerson? Was it that the make-up work was so arduous that they needed to lessen his role? The two of them along with Melanie Smith should have been going into the bunker where the Trancer project was, and kicking ass and taking names. Just line up the stuntment from LA, put them in military uniforms, and let the crew take them down. In a 75-minute movie, sometimes that's all you need. But if that make-up was too limiting and they needed to do it the way they did, I get that, I just could have gone for more of him.

Finally, it looks like this is only our 12th Full Moon film on the site. Initially I was only seeing 7, but I went back and tagged some that I had missed before; but just the same, 12 is a small number compared to Cannon's 41, PM's 35, and even The Asylum's 30. For one of the all-time great DTV/low budget film companies, that's way too low. At the very least I can finish off the Trancers to get more up here, but I think this also points to a trend in my reviews: I tend to lean more toward action than anything else, which wasn't my intention when I got into this. My early DTV viewing experience was always equal parts action, sci-fi, horror, and comedy--not mention the 90s DTV erotic thriller. This might be as big an indicator as any that I need to mix it up more on the site, which I hope to do more of going forward.

And with that, it's a good time to wrap this up. I wasn't as big a fan of this as I was the first two, but at 75 minutes, that nice runtime definitely mitigates the issues I had with it. Right now all 6 of them are on Tubi, so at least watch the first two and then see if you want to keep going.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105632

Demonic Toys (1992)

This is one I've wanted to get up here for some time, especially after doing the sequel, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, a few weeks ago. Then Netflix put it on its dump list on Watch Instantly, not as a part of the Stars Play Purge, but the day after as a part of their usual dumping situation, meaning this isn't a Stars Play 11, but it's close, and I still had to get it in if I didn't want to miss out.

Demonic Toys follows vice detective Tracy Scoggins as she and her boyfriend/partner go undercover to buy some illegal firearms. She's just told her dude that she's preggers with his kid, which makes him a little overprotective, and that overprotectiveness makes the bust go south. Now he's dead, and the two dealers are in an old warehouse that stores old toys, which is where Scoggins has them cornered. Problem: there are some demonic toys in there, and they want Scoggins and her baby so their demonic master can be born again. I think she's having a bad day.



This is a good one. Some really nice gore, some fun villains, and and a great cast. This is the quintessential early 90s video store rental nostalgia piece, and it really brought me back. I know Puppetmaster is more the film that people first think of when they think Full Moon, but it's what we get in Demonic Toys that captures what I think Full Moon is about more. A great mixture of comedy and kills; random stuff like a guy in a Big Foot suit attacking Bentley Mitchum, or Bentley Mitchum driving a chicken mobile; and memorable, iconic characters that we look forward to seeing in the sequels. Load up your junk food and booze, and make this thing happen.

Tracy Scoggins was great here as the heroine. I was wondering why we haven't done more of her stuff, but when I looked at imdb, I noticed she has a lot more TV credits than she does DTV flicks-- in fact, after Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, it's almost exclusively TV. I'll have to go back though and check out some of those late 80s/early 90s flicks they list of her. One I do remember that I saw back in high school was Alien Intruder with Billy Dee Williams. That might be one to put on the radar.



One difference between the Demonic Toys in this as opposed to Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, is that here they do a lot more killing. And when they kill, it's pretty nasty. Lots of chunks bitten out of people, that kind of thing. Compared to a lot of Full Moon flicks I've seen, that type of gore was a bit of a departure, but I loved it. A big gross jack-in-the-box popping out and biting a dudes neck works every time-- in fact, the more the better.

Bentley Mitchum was something of a revelation. Maybe he'd just been miscast before, but I didn't know he had this much personality or this much craziness. He has some sweet freakouts, plus, he's really awesome early on smoking a cigarette while putting together a batch of fried chicken for delivery. He has to bring it to the security guard at the warehouse, and that's how he ends up fighting the toys. He just made the film that much more entertaining, and it's too bad he's so often cast in these one-note parts that don't allow him to get after it like he did here.



In some of Scoggins' dream sequences, there was this clock (a pic of which I stuck on the image page) that had a seven with a massive tail on it. It looked like a "Z" for God's sake. There's just a lot of flamboyance in that, a lot of aplomb, almost dandy-ish. It's like the Anthony Newley of sevens. Like, I think that seven drinks a lot of Beaujolais-- or maybe a lot of Claret. Right now, that seven is getting a suit made on Savile Row.

All right, enough of that, let's wrap this up. However you can get this, I say go for it, it's worth it. A solid Full Moon effort, and one that really brings you back to those video store days. I don't want to say they don't make 'em like this anymore, it's more like even when they do, they're still of the 2000s or the 2010s, which tempers some of that nostalgia for me. Sometimes I just feel like watching a good 90s flick, and this is it.

For more info:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104083/

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (1993)

This is another one that I'd been planning to do for some time, and when Emily of Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense came to me for posts featuring miniature baddies for her Vertically Challenged Villains Month, I figured I'd bump this one up and do it now too, like I did with Puppet Master II. I should point out, it's been a long, long time since I've seen Demonic Toys and Bad Channels, two of the three films that this is a sequel of, the third being Dollman, which we did sometime ago. It might mean I missed some things I'd have picked up on if those other two were fresher in my mind.

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys is like a comic book crossover of Full Moon projects, featuring Dollman Brick Bardo (played again by Tim Thomerson), who, after beings stranded on Earth, goes out to California to find Nurse Ginger (Melissa Behr), who herself was shrunk and left shrunk at the end of Bad Channels (actually, in Bad Channels it was Bunny, not Nurse Ginger who was left shrunk, but does it matter?). He makes it to her house and they form a romance, hoping to live happily ever after. Not so fast cowboy. Enter Tracy Scoggins, who has been hunting the Demonic Toys. She hears about Ginger and Brick, and thinks Brick would be perfect to take down the Demonic Toys due to his size. His big gun doesn't hurt either. The Demonic Toys won't know what hit them.



This is exactly as I described it, a comic book crossover in movie form. That's what it felt like, a cool one-off. Even the length, just over an hour, fits that vibe. As someone that grew up with comics and loved it when one-off issues were released with characters from different books put together, to see something like this that captures that vibe is really cool. Tim Thomerson is his usual awesome self reprising his role as Brick Bardo, and the showdown between him and the Demonic Toys is everything I could've asked for. Scoggins and Behr were also great, as was Phil Fondacaro, who had a small part as a security guard (no pun in tended). Add to that Quiet Riot in the film's soundtrack, and you can't lose. Even though a chunk of the film gives you enough backstory that you can watch this without seeing the previous films first, you should at least take advantage of Dollman and Demonic Toys on Watch Instantly beforehand, because it'll make this one a little more fun.

I guess we start with Tim Thomerson, right? He's so deep into his Brick Bardo character that there's no question about anything being silly with him fighting an over-sized baby doll or duking it out with a Conan O'Brien action figure. He plays it so straight, yet so cool, that it all works and makes it that much better for all of us. In fact, the entire cast plays it pretty straight, which makes all the difference in films like this. Thomerson also has an interesting distinction here at the DTVC: he's one of the few non-Hall of Famers to have more tags than some of the inductees. The question is how to rectify that: get more films for those Hall of Famers, induct Thomerson this fall, or both?



I want to stay with this shot of Thomerson here, because it's archive footage from Dollman, which was directed by Albert Pyun. I wasn't sure if I should the tag Pyun, because it is his footage that's being used. I mean, I've tagged actors for smaller appearances than the amount of footage from Dollman that we had in this. I wonder how that works as far as Pyun goes for money, or if Band owns the rights. Same with the actors, like Michael Halsey, Vincent Klyn, and Jackie Earle Haley. I don't believe they're credited either. Should I tag them or not too? There's also the character name "Brick Bardo", which Pyun has used a lot. Was there any dispute about who owned the rights to it after the fact? Another interesting Pyun connection here was Anthony Riparetti, who worked on the music. He's worked on a lot of Pyun's films, usually credited as "Tony" Riparetti.

I loved the Conan O'Brien action figure. How is that not awesome? He of course predates Conan's run on Late Night by about a year, but still. It's too bad Conan doesn't have the rights to all his characters, because you could have a great crossover with them and the Demonic Toys. Imagine Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Reverend Otis K. Dribbles, the Masturbating Bear, Pimp Bot, maybe even the Ear of Corn, all fighting the Demonic Toys, or maybe the Puppets from the Puppet Master series. A guy can dream, right?



As I mentioned above, this film clocks in at a cool 64 minutes, which isn't much. I always hear the term "feature length" tossed around, and wanted to find out exactly what it was, so I did what anyone would do, I went to Wikipedia. According to them, there are multiple definitions for feature length, some as short as 40 minutes, but the rough standard for an adult feature is 80 to 210 minutes. Do I think this one at 64 minutes should've been longer? No, 64 worked, and I imagine, if Band were forced to make it 80, he'd just add five more minutes of archive footage from each of the three original films, and one more minute of credits, and he'd have his 80. Give me shorter with less padding every time. I always say, anything after 88 minutes is borrowed time and better be damn good.

We are two-for-two this week on Full Moon flicks, the other being Puppet Master II. I daresay I like this one even more. If you like Full Moon, you like Thomerson, and you like the old comic one-off with tons of different characters, this is your flick. Right now it's on Watch Instantly. I can't think of a 64 minutes better spent. (Okay, maybe I can think of a few ways, but not many.)

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106743/

Trancers (1985)

This is one I've been meaning to do, probably almost as long as I've been doing the DTVC, and with it available on Netflix Watch Instantly, it's only been a matter of time. Our friend at Mr. Gable's Reality has looked at this one before, and has also looked at some of the other ones, so you can check that all out on his site. As an aside, I hyperlinked your cover photo for this, so I hope you're not upset.

Trancers has DTVC favorite Tim Thomerson as a police officer in 2247, whose mind is sent back in time to 1985 LA, in order to stop a criminal mastermind who is trying to whack the ancestors of the three oligarchical benevolent leaders of 2247, essentially vaporizing their entire lineage. The criminal has a scary, diabolical technique, where he turns weak-minded people into Trancers, virtual zombies who look like regular people until confronted by Thomerson, then they attack him and look more like zombies. It's a race against time, as Thomerson and Helen Hunt, the girl from 1985 he's befriended, try to protect the ancestors before the baddie can get them.

76 minutes. That's right all you filmmakers who feel like you have to add filler to make your movie more substantial, Trancers clocks in at a cool 76 minutes, and it's probably more awesome than your 100 minute painfest. I'm just saying. Also, put the computer away--or only use it when you have to, as opposed to using it as a crutch--because this looked really nice, and in 1985, they weren't greenscreening and CGI'ing us to death. This was just a really fun low-budget sci-fi flick that has only gotten better over time.

Tim Thomerson was great, as always, but I think this might be the first one we've done where he was the main star. If anyone is awesome as the Film Noir-style detective, especially with the voice for the cool detective narration, it's him. This will be his ninth film we've done, and of the other 8, only two, Gangland and Gale Force weren't Albert Pyun films, so it's usually as a Pyun mainstay that he finds himself on here. The Trancers films are as big a part of his legacy as his work with Pyun, so I'm glad I'm finally getting this first one reviewed.

This is only the second Charles Band directed film we've done, the other being the Gary Busey flick, The Gingerdead Man. The bigger thing of course that he's known for is creating Full Moon Pictures, which is probably something that should get him a Hall of Fame induction, it's just we haven't even done that many of those films either. It's something I plan to rectify, especially since a lot of the Full Moon catalog is making its way onto Netflix Watch Instantly.

Helen Hunt is very hot in this, as she usually is. I wonder what Tim Thomerson thought when she won her Oscar, or even before that when she was on Mad About You, making $1 mill an episode the final season. Did he think "I had a love scene with her" or "I carried her over my shoulder while she wore a cute Santa's elf costume"? Maybe he didn't, but I thought that as I watched this film. He probably sat back during the Oscars with a glass of good scotch and a cigar, and thought "The kid made it. Good for her." That's why he's Tim Thomerson and I'm not.

There's a great scene in a nightclub with a punk band singing "Jingle Bells," and it had me thinking. Recently a buddy posted a picture on Tumblr of Johnny Rotten with a crazy look on his face and the caption "Johnny Rotten just found out what kids today consider Punk." This movie really drove that home, because in 1985, punks were scary, and it took badasses like Tim Thomerson to deal with them. They didn't marry Ashley Simpson or Paris Hilton, they didn't have their A&R men get their songs featured on The Hills--they probably didn't even have A&R men--and they weren't very nice. Pop Punk should be an oxy moron, not a genre to describe Good Charlotte and Avril Lavigne.

What's 76 minutes and availability on Netflix Watch Instantly, right? Not a big deal, and the return is pure awesomeness. Get after this one if you haven't already, and get after it again if you haven't in awhile--you won't regret it.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090192/

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The Gingerdead Man (2005)

This just seemed like a no-brainer: Gary Busey in a movie about a murderous gingerbread man. But I've read this book before, and I've been around the block enough to know a Busey bait-and-switch when I see it. I could only hope I was wrong.

The Gingerdead Man has Busey as a mass murderer who is convicted and sent to the gas chamber. His mom takes his ashes and puts them in a box marked "Gingerbread Spice", and sends to the bakery owned by the mom of the girl who testified and put Busey away for killing her dad and brother. The spices are put into the gingerbread batter, and voila, mass murdering gingerbread man.



I don't know what this sack-of-asscrack was. After Busey's one scene at the beginning, I kept hitting the display button on my remote to see how much time was left. My friends and I tried to make fun of it, but it was just too blah. The best parts of this were the one scene with Busey, the Busey outtakes, and the interview with him during the making of featurette. This just hurt too much otherwise.

And believe me, we went into it with an open mind looking for something silly. They just didn't pull silly off well. The jokes weren't funny, the idea of a murdering gingerbread man probably sounded better on paper, and the lack of Busey meant nothing to hold onto. Supposedly he's the voice of the Gingerdead Man, but it sounded so weird it didn't matter. When I want Busey's voice, I want him as the cop talking to Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing, or him taking on Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Here he sounded like the Leprechaun, which was just dumb.



On the other hand, Busey is so amazing that his few scenes and outtakes and whatnot were worth having this on my Netflix queue. I don't know how I'd feel if I spent $10 buying it, but with the small investment I did put down, I think I got my money's worth. My friends agreed. We just wanted more Busey, and we got so little. I'd give the movie an Abusive rating of 2, and the extras a 4. I'm sure Busey was attracted to this role because it allowed him limited screen time and some added voice work, making it easy money, but his fans out there need more. He was so good in that first scene, and the rest of the cast was so bad overall, that it just felt like a wasted opportunity.

Most of the other actors you'll probably recognize from commercials and bit parts in this or that movie. One of them seems to be more on the rise than the others, based on his imdb bio, and that's Jonathan Chase, who played Brick Fields. He's been in some TV shows, and also had a part in the Shia Labeouf crapfest Eagle Eye. There's two other credits he has that look particularly interesting. First, Another Gay Movie, with Scott Thompson, who I think is hilarious; and second, 7eventy 5ive, a horror movie which also has DTVC Hall of Famer Rutger Hauer. That's in my Netflix queue, and this film reminded me to not only bump it up, but also that I haven't reviewed a Hauer film in a while. Of course it's also listed as "Very Long Wait", so who knows if I'll get it...



An actress named Daniela Melgoza has a small role playing a Latin girl working at the bakery who's knocked out by the Gingerdead Man, stripped naked, decorated like a cake, and thrown in the freezer. Maybe not her best moment in her short acting career, but according to imdb, she did a film version of Richard III with David Carradine and Danny Trejo that was made in 2008 where the eponymous lead is a Mexican drug cartel leader. I'm curious to see it, but can't find a release date. I hope it's out on DVD sometime in 2009.

This movie sucks bad, but for the few seconds Busey's in it, he's good. I don't know what that does for you. What I do know is don't be fooled into thinking this is a fun goofy horror film, because it's not: it hurts, and at 70 minutes the hurting doesn't end quick enough. It's fun to watch Busey in things, but sometimes I wonder if it's not better to just watch Point Break again if I want my fix.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364376/