Acts of Vengeance (2017)

I say this a lot, but this is one I'd been meaning to do for some time now. It's directed by Isaac Florentine, and he's one I want to do all the films of. The problem was, it was on Netflix, then dropped; then it was on Prime, then dropped. Finally, it was on Tubi, but this time, when I saw the 5-day warning before it was removed, I made it happen. Out of the 40+ critic reviews, this has also been covered by Chad Cruise at Bulletproof, Ty and Brett at Comeuppance, Tom Jolliffe at Flickering Myth, and Mitch at the Video Vacuum.

Acts of Vengeance has Antonio Banderas as a defense attorney whose wife and daughter are killed. In his misery, first he puts himself through getting his ass kicked in underground fights, and then actually learns to fight for real. He also takes a vow of silence and reads Marcus Aurelius's Meditation, and strikes out to find out who killed his family. Could it be the Russian mob? Maybe a case of wrong place at the wrong time? But would that make for a good movie? Well, at that point the only other two named actors we have are Paz Vega and Karl Urban, which one do you think did it?

Look at the font on that title screen! Is this a DTV actioner released on Netflix in 2017, or a 1992 TV movie of the week? "This week on the CBS Movie of the Week: Acts of Vengeance: A Perry Mason Mystery." Now granted, Isaac Florentine is bringing it from an action standpoint, especially when we have Tim Man as the fight choreographer--obviously you're not getting that in a 1992 Perry Mason TV movie, though William R. Moses could mix it up a bit if you need him. The other thing is we start out of the gate with a fight, but then we get the dreaded freeze frame with narration that tells us it's time for flashback mode. I don't need my Isaac Florentine actioner told in flashback mode. It's fascinating in something like Tough Guys Don't Dance, which is like this mess of a thing that all works in spite of itself, but an Isaac Florentine actioner starring Antonio Banderas doesn't want to work in that kind of energy, it's supposed to be a 90-minute action fest that I can relax and watch with a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper on a Saturday night. And ultimately this has enough of those moments, especially with the Florentine-Man combination on the fight scenes, that it does what I need it to do, even if other aspects didn't work for me.

With his 13th directed film on the site, Florentine is in a five-way tie for third most all time for directors. Also, once I watch Hounds of War, his latest film, I'll have seen each of his last 10 directed movies (11 if you count Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon, which he had a part in directing with Albert Pyun), and I'll only have three more of his directed films to watch after that, at which point I'll have done them all. As a DTV action fan, he's the kind of director that you want to have seen everything by, and this movie, despite its flaws, is a great example of why. Yes, I could've done without the flashback-narration style of storytelling that this employs, as it does get in the way of the action; but the action is another level. I don't care that I'm on a Bulgarian back lot posing as Pittsburgh when the fights look nice. This might not be one of his best films, but Florentine's movies have a higher floor than most other filmmakers in the DTV world, which is what you want when you're watching a film from a director of his caliber--don't let that title screen fool you!

This is our third Antonio Banderas film here at the DTVC, the others being Machete Kills and The Big Bang, which, if you're wondering, is now joint-most on the site among Antonios with Antonio Fargas, and one ahead of Antonio Margheriti's two. Anyway, he does enough of what you want from a lead in a movie like this, he's sufficiently Antonio Banderas, so when you see him on the tin, you're not disappointed. It looks like he's been doing more DTV stuff recently, especially with a director I haven't explored yet, Jon Keeyes, but that means we can expected to see more of him on here, which I'll be excited for. My favorite stuff of his is his Almodovar, especially the films from the late 80s/early 90s. What a career arc for him, from Almodovar, to one of the biggest names in Hollywood, to DTV flicks with Isaac Florentine, imagine the film fests you could do with his work. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Desperado, and Acts of Vengeance would make for an interesting night one, right?

Among the other names in this, we have Karl Urban and Robert Forster who we've seen on the site before. Urban plays the cop who helps Banderas out when he's getting over his wife, and then we find out he also dabbles in underground fighting. Can't see him doing a heel turn, can you? Then Forster has one scene as Banderas's father in-law, and he gives him a hard time at the funeral. While it was fun to see Forster, if I were Banderas's character I wouldn't have taken any shit from him the way he did, but that's just me. Someone we haven't seen here yet--and another Almodovar alum--is Paz Vega, though we did cover Rambo: Last Blood for the DTVC Extra podcast, and she was in that. She's really good here, and with Banderas gave this an elevated feeling--which was betrayed by that opening title screen, but what can ya do?

Finally, you'd think with the song "All I Have to Do Is Dream" by the Everly Brothers featured that that would be the focus of this penultimate paragraph, as I'm a big fan--and who wouldn't be, they were the greatest rock duo ever, even Rolling Stone agreed (though that list is pretty dubious beyond them at the top. Like no Hall and Oates at all, the duo that broke all the records the Everly Brothers set, or Steely Dan all the way down at 15? Classic Rolling Stone, I guess we should just be happy they didn't put Outcast and the White Stripes above the Everly Brothers too!). At this stage you could say I've already done the paragraph on the Everlys, but I needed to also mention that Urban's character was named "Strode," which is similar to "Stroad," a term in Urbanist circles that refers to a thoroughfare that tries to be both a multi-access street and a limited-access high-speed road, and ultimately fails at both. America is teaming with them, and as someone who doesn't drive, they're a menace. Four, sometimes six lanes of traffic, flanked by massive strip malls, fast food drive-thrus, and big box stores, all with massive parking footprints, none of which is intended for someone like me on foot. The stroad is American car dependency at it's most bonkers, and while you'd think living in a city like Philadelphia I can avoid them, unfortunately not quite, as Roosevelt Boulevard is the most dangerous stroad in the country, and even Oregon Avenue here in South Philly turns into one on both it's east and west termini, and while it's not as bad as the stroad of the suburban sprawl, if we have a housing emergency after the local hardware stores have closed, I need to navigate that mess of cars and parking and dangerous intersections to get what we need at Home Depot, and then navigate it all home. Every time Banderas said Urban's character's name, "Strode," I just thought of massive intersections with short, or maybe busted walk signals, and cars coming in and out of entrances that I need to dodge. It made my pulse elevate.

And with that, we leave my treatise on the stroad and American car dependency, and I'll wrap this up. It looks like no sooner than this was dumped from Tubi that Prime, Plex, and the Roku Channel picked it up, so you can catch it there. It probably fits better in an Isaac Florentine movie night than an Antonio Banderas one, but who knows, maybe pair it with Matador or Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down and it may work.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6288694

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014)

This is one that I had been meaning to do on here for a while, and when I mentioned on the podcast that it was available, Sean Malloy from I Must Break This Podcast asked if he could guest on the pod to discuss it, which I thought was a great idea. It was a great conversation, and you can catch that in our archives, episode 166. In addition to us, our friend Mitch at the Video Vacuum has covered this as well.

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films is a documentary by Mark Hartley, he of the great Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! and Machete Maidens Unleashed! He attacks this topic with the same love and attention, giving us the origins of Cannon through their famed production duo Golan and Globus, their rise in the market with actioners led by Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris, and then their downfall. We also get great interviews from names involved, like Albert Pyun, Dolph, Dudikoff, and Sam Firstenberg, who give us interesting insight into how these rebel producers flew too close to the sun, and ultimately fell into the sea.

This is fantastic, Sean and I were in agreement on that. The only complaint we had was we could've used more--like maybe three parts that are each the length this one was. It's one of those rare films where I don't check the slider bar to see how much is left, and when we get to the end, I'm disappointed and want more. It's great seeing and hearing from the big names, like the ones I mentioned above, but then you have people who worked for Cannon at the time, like David Del Valle--who has a great Instagram account, delvallearchives, with a lot of old Hollywood genre content and things from his collection--who gives us insight into things like how Cannon chose films when he was a script reader for them--"I had one pile for Bronson films, and one Norris films." We also get these great stories, like when Golan and Globus worked with Jean-Luc Godard for his King Lear, which is a movie I enjoyed, but hearing the issues behind it made it even better. If you love the movies we love here on the site, this documentary is for you.

This is now the 73rd tag for Dolph, his 72nd film, and his second appearance in a documentary, the other being Power of Grayskull: The Definitive History of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which we reviewed a few years back. It would've been nice to have more of him here, but it kind of makes sense that we don't, because he only did one film for Cannon--which was a big one for sure, but still only one. There was a sense in hearing him discuss it, that he was disappointed with how it turned out, and wasn't comfortable with the production as it was happening. He was riding high from Rocky IV, this was as big as he was going to get, and this felt like the next role to take; but it came out after the toys had fallen out of favor, and while it looked nice for a Cannon film, it was still a Cannon film made on the cheap, and ultimately it was a bust that didn't make its budget back. It starts Dolph down a path that leads to DTV-dom, which was our gain, but unfortunate for him--though he's bounced back somewhat now, getting his redemption while riding a seahorse in Aquaman.

We last saw Michael Dudikoff in 2022 with Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece, so it's been a bit, and probably will be a bit before we see him again. At one time he actually had more tags than Dolph, and he was one of the first that we had the complete DTV filmography of on the site, but he hasn't done much since 2002 so we don't see him as often anymore. Unlike Dolph, who only did the one Cannon film, Dudikoff has a bunch, including the American Ninja series, one of the greatest DTV action franchises ever, and that means he's in this much more. Also unlike Dolph, whose career started downward after his stint with Cannon, for Dudikoff it opened up the world of DTV action that we know him from now. And what a career it was, especially between the first American Ninja and 2002's Stranded, for me it's a top ten DTV action career, and I don't know with the state of DTV action today if anyone will bump him out of the top ten, even if he doesn't do more films. What we get here is the down-to-earth guy we thought he was, which was fun to see, and fun to hear him give us his experience. Truly one of the greats to ever do it.

Albert Pyun was great as well, talking about Cannon and Golan-Globus in general, but also some specific films he worked on with them like Cyborg and Journey to the Center of the Earth--neither great experiences for him. It was a bit melancholy knowing he's no longer with us, but also a reminder that his insights on film were fantastic and always worth hearing--and he was so generous with them in giving us backstory on some of the films we reviewed. This brings us back to the possibility of getting him into the 50 Club, as this is one more in that direction so he's now at 46 films--47 tags because he asked us to review Mean Guns a second time. There are two more films available that he's directed, Cool Air, which I can rent, and The Interrogation of Cheryl Cooper, which I've had trouble finding. Those two would get us to 48, and then he was credited as a producer on Final Examination, making 49. So close. There's also Interstellar Civil War: Shadows of the Empire, which doesn't seem to be available. If it ever were, that would do it.

Finally, with a film like this, there's a question of who to tag and who not to tag. After reviewing Randall Scandal, I made the decision that file footage of an actor in a documentary isn't enough, but if they give an interview filmed specially for the documentary, that counts. The other thing is, are they the subject of the documentary? That's why Golan-Globus are tagged, despite not being interviewed. But that's also why Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson aren't tagged. Had one of the clips of the films had a McDonald's in it, would I have tagged "McDonald's?" I don't know, but I doubt it. For genres like "Ninjas," even though this had clips from ninja films, it wasn't a ninja film per se, so it didn't get that tag. Had someone done an interview in full ninja gear, would I have tagged this "ninjas," or had someone interviewed a shark would I have tagged this "sharks?" Maybe, but I'd have to see it happen first before I could say either way.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can get this on Tubi here in the States. YouTube also has a great version if you don't get Tubi in your area. This does a great job handling a subject that's near and dear to our hearts, and worth checking out. Also worth checking out is the podcast episode we did with Sean from I Must Break This Podcast, number 166 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125501

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Original Gangsters (1996)

This is one I originally saw in the theater when it came out, but based on the box office numbers, and the fact that it was starring and put together by DTVC Hall of Famer Fred Williamson, and it featured another, Wings Hauser, plus it made under the threshold in box office gate, I figured we'd give it a look. In addition to us, Chris at Bulletproof, Ty and Brett at Comeuppance, and Cool Target have covered this.

Original Gangsters has Fred Williamson as John Bookman, who, when a gang shoots his father, comes to his hometown and rounds up his old crew to take the gang down. Who is said old crew? Everyone you can imagine, like Pam Grier, Richard Roundtree, and Ron O'Neal. He tries to get help from the mayor, Charles "Napes" Napier, but the guy working under him, Wings Hauser, gives them the run around. He tries to work with the police, but detectives Robert Forster and Frank Pesce are no help. Now it's time to take back their town from these gangsters, and they need to do it on their own. Those poor kids won't know what hit them when these Original Gangsters come for them.

This was a ton of fun, even coming back to it over 25 years later. First and foremost, the cast is fantastic, led by the great Fred Williamson. He calls in everyone he uses except for David Carradine and Bubba Smith--hell, we even get Frank Pesce! This cast then delivers in all the ways you'd want them to. If you heard that Larry Cohen was directing a Fred Williamson movie with all your greats from the 70s, this is the movie you'd want it to be. Not only was it a lot of fun, but also very powerful and sobering in its depiction of the crime and violence in parts of the US that have been abandoned by the rest of the world and left to the gangs to run. According to IMDb, Cohen said this was released the same week as Twister, which was your typical TNT New Classic that dominated the box office at the time, so that explains why this didn't do so well. That's a shame, because  this was every bit the new classic too. At least you can come back to it now and stream it.

27 movies now for Fred Williamson, but also because he directed some of the scenes in this, he gets a director credit, making that 11 for him, furthering his entry into the 20-10 Club--20+ acting credits and 10+ directing credits--a club that has only one member, him. We're also close to finally getting him into the 30 Club, an honor that is long overdue. What makes this film so great, is that it shows how beyond being an actor and director, Williamson is someone who puts films together. And had it not been for Twister, maybe this leads to other big projects for him; but unfortunately it was released the same weekend as Twister, which made this his last gasp at a big screen project. It's a shame he never did get bigger backing for any of his films, because it would've been cool to see what he could've done; on the other hand, he still gave us some classics despite that lack of backing, and I think this one can be placed among those.

In my recent Savage Beach post I talked about Dona Speir being among the greatest female action stars of all time. In this film we had Pam Grier, who I think is the greatest. She was fantastic here, in exactly the way she's always fantastic, as someone who's extremely strong, but not trying to be one of the guys strong, she's strong on her own terms. A year after this she was reunited with Robert Forster in Jackie Brown, where she does what I think is my favorite work of hers, and while Jackie Brown as a whole isn't my favorite Tarantino film, her work in it, especially the scenes with Forster, were my favorite scenes of his movies. One thing people wonder is why she isn't in the DTVC Hall of Fame, and the main reason has always been that she hasn't done that much DTV stuff. I think maybe with her there could be an exception just because of the impact she's had on DTV and low-budget film making--and really film making as a whole. I think after Williamson, out of all the other big names in this, Pam Grier is the one where I say "they couldn't have made this without her," and every scene she's in she reminds us why. This is now four films for her on the site, and the first since 2009's Wilder review. I don't know how many more times we'll see her, but every chance we get I'll try to grab it.

Usually we prioritize the film's Hall of Famers in our paragraphs, but we made an exception for the great Pam Grier, and I think if anyone would understand it would be Wings Hauser. We last saw him in 2021 with Wilding, and at that time I said we were creeping our way up to the 30 Club for him with 21 tags, so now 18 months later to only be at 22 means we're not really putting in much work toward that. In looking at his bio, we should be able to scrounge up another 8 films for him, it's just a matter of when we're able to do it. 90s Wings Hauser was prime Hauser, and he gives us that here in the short scenes he has. And acting opposite Napes makes it even better, Williamson just knew what he was doing with these guys, even if he only had them for a short time, and those guys take a film like this and make it that much better. How I lost Wings in the shuffle I don't know, but I'll do my best to get him back sooner next time.

Finally, in deciding whether or not a movie should be included on the site, for "DTV" one qualifier I use is if the film grossed under $10 million at the box office. I have made exceptions, like Rocky IV and the Expendables films, but what's interesting here is I'm making an exception for a film that I actually saw in the theater. My buddy that I saw it with and I were fans of Fred Williamson, Richard Roundtree, and Pam Grier's 70s Blaxploitation stuff, and the idea of this film felt perfect to us, the way The Expendables felt perfect to me and the people who enjoy this blog back in 2010. It wasn't until I was older that I understood how Hollywood in the 80s didn't give these great stars the big screen roles they should've gotten. I think the biggest legacy of that is when those click bait-y "movie" sites make their top female action stars lists, and leave off Pam Grier but have names like Angelina Jolie, Linda Hamilton, and Scarlett Johansson near the top. It's like an attempt to diminish this whole contribution to the world of cinema, which not only smacks as ignorant, but I also think is a travesty. Shaft, Mean Johnny Barrows, Boss [N-word], Foxy Brown, etc., to me at least, are extremely important in getting us to where we are today in the art of film making, but also played a key role in making me the kind of fan of film that I am. As much as this movie had a getting the bang back together feel, it also was a celebration of that legacy of these stars, and 25+ years later, the fact that I was able to experience it on the big screen I think is pretty cool.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently stream this on Tubi, Prime, or Pluto. Streaming it free is a great way to go. Queue this up for a Saturday night movie. You won't be disappointed.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117260

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In Between (1991)

This was one I came across when I was looking up Gary Daniels's IMDb bio to see which ones of his I hadn't seen yet. The idea of a Wings Hauser/Robert Forster early 90s indie flick with a cameo by Daniels, plus Alexandra Paul and Robin Mattson, sounded too good to be true. Then there was the issue of tracking it down, which I was finally able to do on YouTube, though it looks like it's since been taken down. I guess the question now is, was it worth the effort? In addition to us, Entertainment Weekly covered this back in 1992, so you can go there, or find the link in the critic reviews on IMDb, if you want to see what they thought.

In Between follows DTVC Hall of Famer Wings Hauser as he wakes up in a house with two women (Paul and Mattson) and has no idea how he got there. Neither do they. Eventually they also discover they're locked inside. Finally a grim reaper of sorts, Forster, shows up and explains that they're dead, but there's a delay in moving them on to Heaven, so they need to stay in that house as a form of purgatory. As if all that wasn't enough, Forster tells us there's been a twist: one of the three can actually got back and live the rest of their life. In between--see what I did there?--all that, there's a lot of talking and a little love making, plus a shirtless Daniels outside practicing his martial arts.

 

The Entertainment Weekly guy gave this a D. I feel like that's a but harsh, considering Forster was so great he alone had to be worth at least a C; but I get where he was coming from. It didn't feel like there was 90 minutes worth of material here. It's almost like writer/director Thomas Constantinides was trying to literally recreate the feel of every day figurative purgatories, like when you're stuck at the DMV and you have no idea when your number will be called because people who were there after you have already been taken care of, but is that entertaining? Essentially we're waiting for Robert Forster to show up and move the film along. I think as a 45-minute play, or a short novel (novella?) this could work, because I like the concept of it, but it feels like a 90-minute film wasn't the vehicle for it.

Let's start with the first of our Hall of Famers in this, the great Wings Hauser. I get why he would have made this, and I bet as it was being made it probably felt like it was all going to work, and then maybe it was screened and he thought "hmm, those scenes seemed to work better as we were shooting it." The other thing though too that we see here is just how much of a professional actor he is. Yes, there's a unique "Wings" quality that he brings to his DTV films that we love so much; but here we have a film that isn't asking for that "Wings" quality so much, and he's still able to do his job. I had Ty and Brett from Comeuppance Reviews on the podcast a bit ago, and we talked about Wings and what makes him so great. I think it's that combination, where he can crank his Wings up to 11 and blow the movie up; or he can dial it down to 5 like he did here, and still turn in a solid performance despite the film's limitations.

 

For the film's other Hall of Famer, Gary Daniels, this is film 51. I think I would have reviewed this sooner, but because he's in it so little, I didn't want it to be his 50th on the site. According to IMDb, I think this is his third movie ever, after The Secret of King Mahis Island and Final Reprisal. With this review, we've now covered all of his 90s and 2000s films except for two Hong Kong ones, City Hunter and Mission of Justice, and the 2009 Bruce Lee biopic--which at 3 hours is one I may never cover on here. When you look at the fact that he's only the second member of the 50 Club, there's the question of why I've covered so many of his films, and I think the answer comes in the combination of how many films he's done, how many of them were readily available for me to grab when I started the site, and then just how explosive he is as a martial artist. At this point though, we're looking at a film here that only checks off the first box, because we've done so many of the others. I guess it's the completist in me.

We've seen Alexandra Paul I believe one other time on here, in the Peter Weller film Sunset Grill. In looking at her IMDb bio I thought we'd have done more of her filmse, especially The Paper Boy, but actually she does more TV work, which explains why I've seen a lot of her movies, but we wouldn't have reviewed them. And then Robin Mattson I confused with Charlene Fernetz from Street Justice, so I had a whole Street Justice paragraph ready to go until I found out I was wrong on that. She was also in the Reb Brown Captain America movie, so this won't be the last we see of her here either. Maybe I could do a Paper Boy/Captain America set of redemption posts for Paul and Mattson, since this post was so Wings/Daniels/Forster heavy and their contributions were under-mentioned.

 

And that leads us to the inimitable Robert Forster. Like the purgatory of waiting at the doctor's office and being excited when someone finally comes into the room to break up the monotony of waiting, Forster would appear in his flashy double-breasted suits and break up the monotony of this film. I had Jon Cross of the After Movie Diner and Miscellaneous Plumbing Fixtures (who just released a new album, I've Been There, go buy it on Bandcamp now!) on the podcast a while back (I can't remember the episode, I want to say it was the Fred Williamson one, but it could have been Godfrey Ho too), and we were talking about how Jackie Brown as an overall film left something to be desired, but the Pam Grier/Robert Forster scenes were some of, if not were, Tarantino's best work ever. And this is the kind of Forster we get here, it's that level, but the problem is, because of the film's purgatory construct, we were craving more Forster to keep the film moving, and he's so good, that we feel the vacuum left in his absence that much more, which hurt the scenes he wasn't in.

With that I think it's good to wrap this up. I looked into it some, and this is actually available to buy for $2.99 on Amazon streaming under the title Stuck in Purgatory. I think for Forster completists, that might actually be worth it. For Wings fans, it's something to put way down your list, and for Daniels fans it should be near the end of your Daniels journey. 

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102105

Guns and Lipstick (1995)

This has been one of those holy grail type films that I've had a fair amount of trouble tracking down, but because it has such an immense cast, I never stopped looking.  Really, it wasn't so much that I had trouble tracking it down, it was that when I did, it was often really expensive.  For instance, my local record store had a used copy for $16.  Can you believe that?  Finally, I bit the bullet and put down $5 plus $3 shipping to get it from Amazon.  Let's see if it was worth it.

Guns and Lipstick has Sally Kirkland as a PI who was wrongly removed from the LAPD.  She has a case protecting Sherrie Rose, but Rose ends up dead anyway, and Captain Robert Forster wants to pin it on Kirkland because she wouldn't date him when she was on the force.  Turns out, Rose had something a lot of people wanted, include crime boss James Hong, his fake daughter Bobbie Phillips, and albino Sonny Landham (no Predators were involved.)  She has her allies though, including Rose's brother Evan Lurie, local bar owner Paul Benedict, and crazy drunk Wings Hauser.  Oh, and Joe Estevez has a small scene too.



This was a story that was all over the place, didn't really know what it wanted to be, could've been cool old school gun shoe thriller with Kirkland great as the lead detective and a great cast of characters around her, but really was just another mystery yarn that felt like it had plot twists for the sake of plot twists, just to add to the run time.  Raymond Chandler this was not.  On the other hand, there is a fun element to fist pumping every time a familiar face popped up on screen, and the 90s elements are in full force, especially the sweet mullets.  Ultimately, I feel like this is really only for completists and people like me who have review sites that focus on movies like this.

I started with Sally Kirkland instead of the film's one DTVC Hall of Famer, because she was the star, and I liked the idea of the classic off-beat detective film led by a woman.  Really, this idea would've worked better as a 90s TV drama, and this movie probably would've worked better as a 42-minute episode, because it's not like Kirkland couldn't have carried this.  She also got to get the hunk, as her and Evan Lurie hooked up.  She was the right person for the role, unfortunately the film didn't hold up its end of the bargain.



Here's Wings playing the piano.  He's not in this much, but when he is, he's pretty great.  Near the end, he ends up in a car with Kirkland, and right away he's just staring out the window with his mouth agape in that trademark Wings style.  He flips out at her earlier in the film in a drunken rage.  One time by the fire, he gives her a massage.  He drinks Seagram's 7 straight from the bottle, then plays the piano and sings some raspy song.  I mean, it's all just Wings-y.  Is this $8 worth of Wings?  Maybe not, but if you're a Wings fan, you'll appreciate what you're seeing.

Let's try to go through everyone else.  Forster is the classic cop heel.  He's always bringing Kirkland in to arrest her, but the charges don't stick.  James Hong is pretty sweet as the crime boss.  Too many of his scenes are covered with smoke, so we can't see him.  Landham as the albino was weird.  You can try to explain to me why that made any sense.  Benedict was funny as the bar owner, I always love seeing him in anything.  Then there was Joe Estevez, who has one scene near the beginning where he sexually harasses Kirkland as he frisks her, then throws her onto her chair.  Not one of his fines moments, but it's Joe Estevez, so it's always fine for us.

This movie was exceedingly mulletous.  We're talking mullets aplenty.  We had full out business in front and party in the back 9.5 in mulletude mullets.  We had skullets.  We had the classic skullet 'stash combo.  We had twin ape drapes among extras leaving a building Kirkland was entering.  The best one was one of Hong's thugs.  It was one of those "oh man, I can't believe you did that!", the "it's awesome" and "it's ridiculous (in the true sense of the word, not the 'a lot' slang sense we often see it as)" at the same time.  If a 90s movie can give you one thing, it's sweet beaver pelts.



Oh... oh what's that?  Evan?  What's that?  Oh, oh no!... oh my God, oh no, what am I... what am I looking at?... Evan please, say it ain't so!  Oh God... Fanny Pack!

I don't think I can write anymore.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0155733/

Night Vision (1997)

This is one that's been on my radar for a long time now. Two DTVC Hall of Famers, Cynthia Rothrock and Fred Williamson, make it a must, plus Robert Forster, Bushwick Bill, and former NFL standout Willie Gault are hard to ignore. Even if this is bad, it should make for good review material. Also, our friend Ty reviewed this at Comeuppance Reviews. As you can imagine, he couldn't pass up a cast like this either.

Night Vision has Williamson as Dakota "Dak" Smith, a renegade detective who's been demoted to third shift motorcycle patrol cop due to some mishaps and his drinking. Then he has a run-in with this serial killer who spies on his victims using hidden cameras, and creates snuff films out of their deaths. Now this killer wants Williamson, and Williamson wants him too. Helping him out are Rothrock and Forster. Can they bring this guy down before anyone else dies?

I had a lot of fun with this. It was classic late-90s cable TV stuff, like that Cinemax or The Movie Channel thing that might air either really late at night or right smack in the middle of the day--or both. Williamson was fantastic, and he carried every scene he was in. Forster and Rothrock were excellent too, and they played off Williamson well. It definitely has its silly moments, like Williamson chasing the killer on his motorcycle, and the killer shooting grenades at him, followed by Williamson surviving an exploding bike crash, and the local news crew in the helicopter above catching it, punctuated with the cameraman's mustachioed smile. Yes, that's what I want, big frickin' mustaches. I want Williamson smoking cigars and walking around his apartment in his underwear. I want Rothrock making sexual innuendo jokes with Williamson at the other character's expense. I want scenes set to music that sounds like Phil Collins's "Sussudio," or Weather Channel Smooth Jazz, or Williamson's character's own soulful theme song. Give me all of this, and I'm a happy man.

We'll start with the star, Williamson. Everything about him here works. Even when it doesn't work, it works, if that makes sense. It's just so Williamson-y, and I love it. We see so many films where it's a Williamson cameo or a Williamson bait-and-switch, and this is Williamson in almost every scene, just being Williamson. I mean, the cigars, the briefs, the scene where he's giving confession in a Catholic church, the sexual innuendos--when I see Williamson's on the cover, this is what I want, and this is what I got. Also, this character, Dakota Smith, is one he uses in subsequent films, of which we've done one, On the Edge, which was also fantastic in its Williamson usage. Can you tell I enjoyed this?

The other DTVC Hall of Famer was Rothrock, and she was great too in a supporting role. She only uses her martial arts here and there, but what I loved about her ability to do martial arts was that it converted her from a damsel in distress or one-dimensional female love interest, into Williamson's equal as a partner. It allows for more of a buddy picture dynamic, which allows Rothrock to play off Williamson better, and makes their interactions much more fun. This is different from her traditional straight ahead actioner, but it works for me.

Among the others, Robert Forster was the best. In a lot of films like these, it's hard to root for him, because you never know if his character will turn out to be the baddie in the end. I can tell you here that that doesn't happen, he's Williamson's buddy throughout, so it's safe to root for him, which makes it even more fun. Forster and Williamson are much better together as friends than they are as foes. And he plays off Williamson so well too. My only complaint was that there wasn't more of him in this. He usually appeared after Williamson created a violent crime scene, and told him "you call this a low profile?" He also tells the heel police chief "you don't mess with a hard-on." Then we had Bushwick Bill, who was Bushwick Bill, which, again, is fantastic. The local TV reporter was played by Amanda Welles, who I thought had been in more stuff, but I was wrong, because she has very few credits on IMDb. Finally, Willie Gault has a small cameo as an FBI agent. When I played Tecmo Bowl on the NES growing up, I used the Raiders and would chuck the ball down field to Gault all day. Remember how you'd take the QB and run him backwards, then at the last minute chuck it up? That was so much fun.

I don't know who this guy is here, but doesn't he look like the logical conclusion of Keith "The Dean of Mean" Jardine's DTV acting career? Am I being generous if I say this is where he'll be in ten years, or should I go with five? Nothing wrong with this though, it's better than the beating he'd take if he stayed in the UFC all that time, even if he won most of his fights. Hell, would anyone be surprised if in ten years when Jardine gets to this point, an 85-year-old Williamson is still making movies and Jardine is playing this exact character?

Of course not, and films like this are why. This is the Fred Williamson you came for, with a great Rothrock and Forster to boot. Sure, as a movie it's pretty paint-by-numbers and late 90s low-budget thriller, but you're here at the DTVC because that kind of thing appeals to you, so why not go with it? I think you'll be happy you did.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117177/

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South Beach (1993)

This was another I picked up from my local record store, along with Undercurrent, and like Undercurrent, it was only $.49. How do you not love that, especially for a flick with DTVC Hall of Famers Gary Busey and Fred Williamson? It's because it stars the latter that I decided to post on it this week, because this is our Super Bowl XLVI week, and Mr. Williamson was in the very first Super Bowl, where his Chiefs lost to the Packers.

South Beach has Williamson as former NFL great and former cop Mack Derringer. He and his former NFL buddies Gary Busey and Peter Fonda run a private detective agency-- or maybe just Williamson is the PI, and Fonda runs a bar, and Busey does whatever, I'm not sure. Anyway, someone is out to get his ex-wife (Vanity), and someone else has set him up for murder, which gets him in hot water with the law, including old college buddy and Miami police detective Robert Forster, and with mob boss Henry Silva. Will Williamson put the pieces of this deadly puzzle together before his time's up?



For the most part this is a yawner that's saved by the great cast, which includes all the people I mentioned above, plus Frank Pesce and Isabel Sanford (Louise Jefferson). The end though is a bit much, all over the place and not sure where it wants to wrap up. We're talking about a classic Kafka-esque Noir-ish actioner, where Williamson is getting all kinds of screwed over, and has no idea who is doing it or why. Plus, a lot of it is Williamson loving him some Williamson, which is kind of fun in spots, but also gets a bit much in others. Overall, it's a matter of how much you like these guys and how much you want to see them-- and how cheap you can find this, because fifty cents makes a movie much more palatable.

We might as well start with The Hammer, since this is Super Bowl week, and he did play in the first one. If you don't know the story surrounding that, he bragged about how he'd crush the Packers wide-outs with his patented Hammer, only to be knocked out himself in the fourth quarter of the game by a knee from the Packers running back. In this movie, he makes himself younger, and a better player than he was-- at least that's what it seems like. The one thing we do know is, he's had a much longer and more prolific career as an actor, and for that we're thankful, because he's given us a lot of great performances.



After I did Peacemaker, I found out just how many readers loved them some Robert Forster, so I figured I'd devote an entire paragraph to him. He unfortunately doesn't have a big role in this, appearing more at the beginning, then a little bit at the end. I think for Forster fans that'll be disappointing, because he's in it enough early to make you think he has a bigger part. Anyway, hopefully this'll just whet your appetite, because I plan to have more Forster up this year. I'm a big fan too.

Busey is pretty solid here, but as you can imagine, with him not mentioned until the sixth paragraph, that this isn't totally Abusive. Though he's on the cover, and this starts off like it's going to be a Williamson/Busey buddy picture, he disappears for a chunk of the middle. In a way, Peter Fonda steps in as Busey's surrogate, because the two seldom appear together on-screen. What I love most about Peter Fonda's part: the mustache and ponytail. Then we have the always hot Vanity as Williamson's ex. She plays a phone sex operator who is harassed by killer. Finally, how do you not love Louis Jefferson? She plays Williamson's mother. What a coup it was for him to pull that off.



Wanna know the one thing I dislike most about the Super Bowl? The commercials. I dislike commercials in general, but this time of year, when something so uncelebrate-able is celebrated, it makes me nauseous. The worst of the bunch are definitely the beer commercials. Other than a few exceptions-- Dos Equis, Keystone Light, Sam Adams-- most national chains have the most disturbing abominations ever created. That's why I drink PBR. Have you ever seen a PBR ad talking about your "man card"? Ever seen a can of PBR that changes color when it's cold? Ever heard PBR tell you that you aren't a real football fan unless you drink their beer? Not a chance. PBR doesn't have any commercials, and for that reason alone, I'll be drinking them while watching my Pats this Sunday.

All right, done with that rant. At fifty cents, this isn't a bad deal, but even then it's a stretch. Cool cast, which makes this a better time than it otherwise would've been, but not quite good enough in my book. Save this for your thrift store/bargain bin find.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104997/

Peacemaker (1990)

This one was brought to my attention by a reader via the Facebook page, which, if you don't already Like the Direct to Video Connoisseur on Facebook, it's a great place to get updates on what we're planning on doing, and to contact me with general comments and inquiries-- like recommendations or mentions of movies you think I should check out. Before we get started, I also want to mention that our friend robotGEEK hit this flick too, so go check out what he thought. (And I hotlinked your cover photo-- hope that's okay.)

Peacemaker-- or A Love Out of This World, as it's known in Romantic Comedy circles-- is a Rom Com about a woman who's a divorcée working as a coroner, planning to finish things up in the lab and spend the night alone with some wine and some episodes of Days she'd taped, when the stiff she's about to carve open comes to life and kidnaps her. In the parking lot, as they're driving away, Robert Forster attacks them, and he and the guy that kidnapped her fight it out. After a night spent tied up with the phone cord, our heroine finds she's falling in love with her kidnapper, and wants to help him take out Forster. Turns out Forster and her new boyfriend are aliens, and one is a cop-- known by them as a "Peacekeeper"--, and the other a serial killer. Problem is, she can't tell which is which. "Damn it, maybe mom was right, and I should've tried 8 Minute Dating!"



All right, as much as this hits the spots of a Romantic Comedy, it's also a really great action flick. It's the kind of one where you feel bad for the stuntmen, because they get sent through the ringer. Dumped from dirt bikes, tossed out of windows, flipped over in cop cars, hanging off of speeding trucks, it's all there. Forster is fantastic, and Robert Davi as the local cop that hits on our heroine is also great. This is pretty much everything you want in a DTV 90s actioner, from the actors you recognize, to the actors you don't, and the heavy duty action in between. An all around good time.

This is not the first time we've had an action flick that played out like a Romantic Comedy. Cyborg Cop is one example, where two opposites attract lovers meet in a banana republic, one looking to find out what happened to his brother, the other a reporter looking for a big scoop. They fight, he manhandles her, she doesn't like it, then she does, they make love, John Rhys-Davies kidnaps her, and she needs rescuing. Would've been great if not for David Bradley's fanny pack, right? Then there's Deadly Prey, which, I know it's a classic lazy man's joke to say action movies are metaphorical gay romances, but I think in Deadly Prey's case, it actually works. With Peacekeeper, it's one of those where, if you watch it from the Romantic Comedy viewpoint, it's even funnier, and makes the movie more enjoyable. I'm not trying to be ironic, the dynamic between the doctor and the alien cop feels very Romantic Comedy-esque-- only with a lot more violence and explosions, which is awesome.



Robert Forster is a guy whom everyone knows from all kinds of stuff, including Jackie Brown, for which he earned a well-deserved best supporting actor Oscar nominee. For my money, he made that movie. He brings some of that great Forster quality here in another supporting role as the serial killer or maybe not the serial killer, and it adds some nuance to the role, which it really deserved. DTVC favorite Robert Davi has a small part as the police sergeant that has a thing for our heroine. Like Forster, he has an ability to add nuance to roles that need it, but might not exactly have it written in. He's great as that guy who's kind of a jerk and a chauvinist, but is also stand-up and heroic. It's kind of too bad both guys weren't in the film more, but along with the solid action, they do an excellent job of propping up what otherwise would've been a bad Romantic Comedy.

Beyond the Romantic Comedy aspect, this also had the bad sci-fi aspect, and this commits the most egregious, yet most common, sci-fi movie gaff: the shifting rules gaff. A man has the strength to crush a telephone in his hands, or stop a car from running him over with his foot, but a thin woman with a purse can knock him over. A man is strong enough to cut his own hand off to get out of handcuffs, but not strong enough to break the handcuffs instead. Our aliens can only be killed by having trauma done directly to the brain, but somehow being blown up in a shack full of dynamite doesn't qualify for that. This is all of that bad sci-fi that, when a movie dwells on it and comes off proud of it, can really detract from the proceedings; but in a case like this, is used only to allow guys to be blown up and shot and crashed through windows multiple times, meaning it ups the action quotient, which is always a bonus.



Finally, I had to bring up the cameo of this Time/Life UFO book here, which was used as a moment of comic relief, but really brought back memories of these silly book collections. When I was really young, like six or seven, I remember staying up late on the weekends or during the summer, and seeing commercials for these books and being scared out of my mind. I had nightmares that I was being abducted by aliens, and would wake up as the tractor beam was lifting me to the ship. Then I grew up (turned 10) and learned that these Time/Life books and episodes of Unsolved Mysteries were total crap and I was a moron (even as a 7-year-old) for believing in them. Now what's the show, Ancient Aliens, a show about how non-white cultures couldn't possibly have ever created anything before the White Man arrived, so aliens must've helped them. Good stuff.

Unfortunately, the History Channel and Discovery don't play movies like this, but they should, because this is just great 90s DTV action. As far as I know, it's only used VHS, or, if you have a laser disc player, you can get it on that too. I say keep your eye out for it, or go to Amazon, because it's not that expensive there. This is a good addition to your 80s/90s action collection-- or 80s/90s Romantic Comedy collection.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100343/

Rise aka Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

Some friends got this as a free rental from Hollywood video, and they brought it by. I didn't have anything else going on, so I was up for it. Good thing it was free.

Rise is about vampires. Lucy Liu stumbles across them while doing her journalist stuff, and two of them, one of whom is Carla Cugino, try to kill her. But she doesn't die, and instead becomes a vampire too. Now she's on a quest to kill the people that made her vampires, and luckily it didn't take her long to learn how to fight and use a continuously loading crossbow. Pursuing her is Michael "Dick" Chiklis, a cop after the people who killed his daughter. This also has a bunch of cameos from people like Nick Lachey, Marilyn Manson, Mako, former MTV VJ Simon Rex, the big guy from Mighty Ducks, the chick from Entourage with the short hair that was also in the Hanson video for "Penny and Me", and the dude who played the bounty hunter that fell in love with Pam Grier in Jackie Brown.



This was a boring assed movie. Scenes were just put together with some kind of loose connection that somehow formed a useless plot. What we saw was the unrated version, so I'm assuming that one was longer than the original. Maybe I could've saved myself some suffering. The film makers thought it would be cool to tell half the story in flashback mode. All that did was take a boring plot and make it more tedious. These people aren't Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski.

Vampires seem to be able to do different things in different films, and this one was no exception. Here, the vampires didn't seem to be stronger than other people, just immortal, I guess. They didn't have fangs, but used some kind of little knife instead to cut people's throats so they could suck their blood. Using the Blade standard for judging vampire films (that's my gold standard), this film sucked.



Lucy Liu was hot. She gets naked a couple times, but it's not that big of a deal: first she's in the morgue on a metal slab in a cooler, then she's hanging upside down. What's weirder to me is that she's in this sack of asscrack at all. I thought she had a deal with GM to advertise OnStar. I thought she was a Hollywood A-lister. I can't imagine she's still working with the same agent after this debacle. Come on Lucy Liu, you're better than that.

Mako is one of my favorite actors. Sadly he passed in 2006, and this was his last feature film. Many of you may remember him from Conan: The Destroyer and the third Highlander movie. In this he has a great scene where he and Lucy Liu beat the crap out of each other. He tried to smother her with a shower curtain, which was awesome. Probably the only redeeming part of the film.



This had a who's-who of other actors. You've got Michael "Dick" Chiklis of The Commish and now The Shield. My mom worked with a dude who I guess went to acting school with him. A cool feather in that guy's cap. I dug the Marylin Manson cameo personally. He didn't have much make-up or that weird contact lens he usually has on, which was cool. Nick Lachey was barely in it, much less than in the Hard Easy, like two scenes. Somehow all these people either had a bunch of favors called in by the film makers to get them in this, or they were sold a bill of goods telling them this film would be a hit. Poor them.

I'd only bother with this if you can get it free like my friends did. Any money spent would feel like a waste. Even for free, it's a hard recommendation, because it's so long (over two hours if you get the unrated) and so boring. Why put yourself through that if you don't have to. And if you're one of those cats that rents movies to see if the female leads get naked, again, Lucy Liu does, but it's not that big of a deal. I shouldn't say that, because if you are one of those kind of people, it would be kind of funny if you sat through the whole thing and was disappointed.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389328/