Boudica: Queen of War (2023)

This is one I'd been meaning to do for some time, the problem was this was one of five films Jesse V. Johnson put out between 2021 and 2024, of which this is the fourth of five I need to do (the one I'm missing is 2021's Hell Hath No Fury), so it got lost a bit in the shuffle, but we're making it happen now. In addition to us, Outlaw Vern has covered this as well.

Boudica: Queen of War has Olga Kurylenko as the eponymous hero, who starts the film as the queen to Clive Standen's king of the Iceni, a people living under Roman rule around 60 AD. When he dies, Boudica becomes queen, the only problem is Nero had decreed that women can't have any positions of power in the empire, so the head of the Roman colony in Britain, Catus Decanius (Nick Moran), confiscates Iceni land, has her flogged, and captures her daughters as well. Eventually she's rescued by the Trivante people, led by Cartimanda (Lucy Martin), who let her know that a prophecy has decreed that she should lead them against the Romans. She does, and things work for a time, but eventually Rome asserts it's power and wipes everyone out, yet in the aftermath a legend is born.

This worked on some levels for me. I liked Kurylenko in the lead, she was as great as she usually is. This also has a fun supporting cast, with Moran as the Roman baddie, Lucy Martin as a revelation as the warrior who saves and trains Boudica--she has a fantastic moment where she chops off the arm and then head of local jerkoff who gives Boudica a hard time--Peter Franzen as the Roman trained local warrior who takes up her cause, Clive Standen as the king, and a small appearance by DTVC favorite and Johnson mainstay Dominique Vandenberg, who we love to see anytime. Where this seems off is the use of magic. I don't know that she needs magic, and I feel like it ungrounds a film that needed grounding with its hero, and in some ways diminished what she meant as leader. There was also some license with history that I wasn't sure was necessary. One example of this is conflating the events of this film with the Great Fire of Rome and Nero's death, none of which happen at the same time. It didn't add anything to the film or Boudica's story. Overall though I enjoyed Kurylenko's performance and the supporting cast, plus Johnson does a great job with the battle scenes on a limited budget.

We're now at 7 films for Olga Kurylenko, which may not sound like many, but for women on the site, that puts her in a five-way tie for sixth all-time, and 7 is only three behind Julie Strain's 10 for second all-time. And she has a lot of stuff out there for us to catch up on, so she could move up those ranks quickly. She's not just one of the top women in action right now, she's one of the top names in action period, and this film is an example of what she brings to the table. The screen presence, the ability to mix it up in the action scenes, it's all on display here. She's exactly who Johnson needed as the star if he was going to make this film, and to the extent that it's successful at all, it starts with her and her performance. It looks like she has a ton of great stuff coming up as well, including a return to her Taskmaster character in the upcoming Thunderbolts* film, so I'm excited to see what she does next. Chances are, based on her history, it'll be great.

This is Jesse V. Johnson's 14th directed film on the site, which puts him alone in third place all-time behind Albert Pyun's 43, and Fred Olen Ray's 16--kind of like with the women on the site list, where you have Cynthia Rothrock with 43, and then a big drop to Strain with 10. I don't think this is his best work, but in an age where you don't know what you're going to get when you click on a thumbnail on a streaming site, Johnson's films have a high floor which means you know you're going to get a level of quality that, at least to me, means my 90 minutes--or 100 in this case--won't be wasted. Beyond the production values that he does really well on a tight budget, we have his cinematographer Jonathan Hall, who has worked with him on a lot of films, and does a great job here punching up the dramatic scenes to give them more effect, they're really well-shot; and then those names I mentioned above come in and turn in great performances that are fun to watch, again, elevating things and giving his film that higher floor. It looks like for the first time since 2016 Johnson doesn't have a film coming out this year, which will give me some time to catch up on past films of his that I've missed, like Hell Hath No Fury and The Butcher.

It's not often that England gets to depict itself as throwing off the yoke of a colonial oppressor. In fact, other than this, England is usually the colonial oppressor that needs to be defeated, and I imagine most of the world watching a film like this has no sympathy for England. As an American, I think it's only fair to demonstrate some level of self-awareness and point out that when we do it, depict the Revolutionary War as us throwing off the shackles of British Imperialism, it's really a farce--we were the colonial oppressors here in America, we were just pissed that the Brits ignored us for years and let us thrive off all that oppression, and then came in and taxed us after they'd accrued some debts. How dare you not let us keep all the money we were making exploiting the resources we've seized here? It's the same idea though, everyone wants to be the plucky underdog, no one wants to be the massive power that crushes everything good, even if the British Empire and the United States are the Romans in most other scenarios. At least here, the Brits can say they actually were fighting to throw off the yoke of colonial oppression, as opposed to us in America who act like that's the case, when in reality we just wanted to keep more of the spoils of that oppression, and the Brits were like "what? You're really doing this?" and by the time they realized the answer was yes, it was too late. I will also say, as a symbol of a woman fighting the odds, Boudica means more than just Brits throwing off the yoke of colonialism, she represents the struggles women go through in greater society, and I think Johnson does a great job of keeping that metaphorical meaning prominent throughout--though I also think this is where the use of magic detracts from that message some.

Finally, here in South Philly we have tons of this guy above. I'm not sure why he's so prolific, but if I'm out running errands, especially here in deeper South Philly, the odds of me encountering one are pretty good. There's a pizza place on Broad and Snyder here called La Rosa, which is one of the best in the area. Anyway, I had $5 burning a hole in my wallet and grabbed a slice there after a trip to the local co-op, and on my way home, carrying the box it was in, seemingly out of nowhere one of those guys appeared behind me and told me how good the pizza was at La Rosa. It's like they're so ubiquitous down here that they form out of the ether and vanish as quickly. From a tourist standpoint, outside of the Italian Market and the Stadium District, there isn't much reason to come down to the part of South Philly I live in, but if you ever find yourself here, be prepared to see some of these guys in the wild--and if you're lucky, they may even comment on your pizza--and as they should, La Rosa's pizza is worth it.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently stream this on most free streamers here in the States, including Tubi. I wouldn't say it's Johnson's best, but between him, Kurylenko, and the rest of the cast, it's not horrible and worth a look if you have some time to kill. 

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt22688572

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Chief of Station (2024)

It's October, and you know what that means, Hall of Fame inductions! We're starting with director Jesse V. Johnson, who has been steadily creeping up the all-time director tags list, so I figured it was time to get him in, and with his newest film on Hulu, this made sense as the one to go to. In addition to us, Chris the Brain at Bulletproof Action has covered this as well.

Chief of Station has Aaron Eckhardt as a CIA agent who sees his CIA agent wife die in a horrible explosion in front of him. Six months later, the CIA IG is giving him the business about it, which gets his gears going. Could there be more to her death than just the accidental gas main leak the authorities were chalking it up to? After he does some digging, turns out it was just an unfortunate gas main leak, and the rest of the film is Eckhardt wandering aimlessly through grocery stores and enjoying coffee at cafes in Europe... NOT! Ho ho, didn't see that coming, did you? It's as spy thriller-y as you'd expect, as Eckhardt has to see which Johnson mainstays he can trust as he tries to get to the bottom of things and save his son, who the baddies grabbed while the son was getting some in Croatia.

This is a pretty good deal. As far as Jesse V. Johnson goes, I wouldn't put it in my top five of his films, but for 90 minutes on Hulu, it's going to be better than the bulk of the DTV stuff you'll find on there. Eckhardt is great in the lead, and then Johnson pulls in some great names in supporting roles that have worked with him before, like Olga Kurylenko, Daniel Bernhardt, and Nina Bergman, plus a fun performance by Alex Pettyfer. There are some parts earlier on where things are a bit slower, plus we have a gratuitous torture scene that was unnecessary--more on that later--but when you have a tight runtime, great names used well, and solid action when it's there, those things can be forgiven in a way that a longer movie with a bunch of names in one-scene cameos and a lot of bad computer effects can't. 

When I looked at the names of directors who were already in the Hall of Fame, I realized that Jesse V. Johnson was going to be passing some of them for tags once we started catching up on his filmography (this one at 13 ties him for third all-time with Hall of Famer Sam Firstenberg), and when I factored in the longevity of his career as a director--roughly 25 years--and some of the classics he's done, like Avengement or Savage Dog, I saw it was time to get him in. When you go from 2017 to 2024, he has 13 films released, and while I haven't seen them all, the 10 I have seen are all pretty solid. To be able to pull that off in the current DTV climate, where budgets are shrinking and the more cynical approach is to just slap a bunch of names on the tin and get in and out for as little money as possible, Johnson has been able to successfully navigate that and continue to provide a level of quality that us action fans appreciate. Much deserving of his Hall of Fame induction this year, here's to you Mr. Johnson, you're one of the greats.

The last time we saw Aaron Eckhard, it was in the film Erased, which we've not only reviewed on the site, but featured in a podcast episode, all the way back in episode 13 in the archives, a little over ten years ago in September of 2014--and that film also had Olga Kurylenko. It looks like he's now working as a DTV leading man, as this is the fourth of five films he's had come out between 2023 and now. I really liked him here, he's the kind of leading man you'd want in a movie like this, whether he's just looking good in a suit, wandering aimlessly in a grocery store as he thinks about his late wife, scowling at a computer screen while he's trying to make sense of the cryptic data in front of him, or beating up a bunch of guys at a poker game while a mustachioed Russian spy Nick Moran looks on. I could joke that he's an elevated Thomas Jane, but we saw from One Ranger that Jane brings something completely different to the table--Jane wouldn't have worked as well as the lead in this film, and Eckhardt wouldn't have worked in One Ranger the way Jane did. I don't know how much we'll get into Eckhardt's burgeoning DTV oeuvre, but based on the numbers, I imagine this won't be the last time we see him here--he has another with Johnson in production, Thieves Highway, so we know we'll be doing that one at least--and if this performance is any indication, I'll be looking forward to it.

Speaking of Kurylenko, she has a smaller, but very impactful part in this. She's kind of Ghost in the Machine-ish, only Johnson teases her earlier in the film, so I guess Chekhov's Kurylenko beats Kurylenko as Ghost in the Machine. Her entry is such a badass scene, and even though her character wears a ski mask at first, you know it's her before she removes it. She comes in while Aaron Eckhardt is being tortured for information and saves him, which made the torture scene unnecessary--if she's just going to save him, why not have her come in before he has needles stuck under his fingernails and charged with electricity? The other problem with it was it required bandage continuity, because Eckhard had the fingers that were used in the torture wrapped, but some scenes it looked like they weren't. Just save us the discomfort of having to watch that, and the script supervisor the trouble of having to keep up with it, and have Kurylenko save Eckhardt before he's tortured, it's so much easier. Anyway, Kurylenko has a ton of stuff in her filmography that we need to get to, plus, a bunch of new things coming--and I can't wait to see her on the big screen next year in Thunderbolts--so it's just a matter of me getting caught up on it all. She's continuing to make a name for herself as one of the top women in the action world, and I can't wait to see what else she has for us, but for now, she's great here in a smaller role.

Finally, a name that is probably overdue for his own Hall of Fame induction, Daniel Bernhardt is great in this as a baddie. I was trying to figure out why he wasn't in already, and I think it was because, while he was a mainstay in the early days of the site, especially with his Bloodsport sequels, in the late 2000s when bigger names like Seagal and Van Damme were dropping down to DTV, and names like Bernhardt were getting fewer leading roles, instead of trying to force it with lower-tier stuff, he went with smaller parts in bigger films. Stunt work and fight scenes in movies like The Matrix Reloaded, which led to bigger things like John Wick, it didn't mean he wasn't doing DTV stuff, but it wasn't as much, and I kind of lost track of him myself--though when I look at his tags on here, which is now at 16, I've haven't completely lost him, he's had some recent reviews. I think it's just an oversight on my part, but we can pencil him in for next year's inductions.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently stream this on Hulu in the States, which I think is a good deal, but if you live in an area where this is a rental only, you could do a lot worse. And congratulations to Jesse V. Johnson on entering the Hall of Fame! It's much deserved.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21301418

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

The Courier (2019)

Back in June of this year, I had Will from Exploding Helicopter on the podcast to look at two films from Olga Kurylenko. The first was High Heat, costarring Don Johnson, and the second was this film. With the names in this alone, it should've been a sure bet, but as we've seen here on the DTVC, it's often the sure bets that turn out to be duds.

The Courier has Olga Kurylenko as, you guessed it, a courier. Her job is to drop of a special camera to a London apartment so a witness, Amit Shah, can give closed-circuit testimony in a trial in Washington, DC involving crime boss Gary Oldman. When she gets there though, she discovers her package is actually poisonous gas, so she gets Shah out of there with the hope of saving him so he can testify. Not so fast though, dirty US government agent on the scene William Moseley locks down the apartment building's garage and allows Oldman's hired goons the chance to take her and Shah out. At the same time, his boss, Dermot Mulroney, is back in the States thinking Moseley is trying to help keep Shah safe. Will Kurylenko survive and get her and Shah out of there alive?

Let's start with the good: Kurylenko is great, she's exactly the badass action lead you'd want in a flick like this. Now for the bad. The movie is longer than it needs to be, and to pad it out, we get these sequences of Oldman under house arrest that aren't that great, and almost feel grafted in. Moseley is trying to give us his best Oldman from The Professional, and I don't know how well he pulls it off, giving us a not-so-great baddie combined with Oldman's grafted on baddie which both give us nothing to work with while we're in scenes that don't have Kurylenko in them. That's a problem, because as great as Kurylenko is, there's only so much you can do in a confined space like an apartment parking garage before it feels like we're spinning our wheels--no pun intended. And then we have Amit Shah's character, which is just a screaming guy who's more annoying than entertaining. I'm not sure why films add characters like this, because annoying the audience should never be a goal of a filmmaker. Finally we end the film with the most expected twist ever with Dermot Mulroney's character--so expected in fact that had they not gone with it, it would've been more unexpected than the fact that they did it. If you're a Kurylenko fan though, this does deliver, which may be enough to merit a watch.

Speaking of Kurylenko, this is her 5th film on the site, which seems like a small number--and it is--but in the all-time ranking of women stars on the DTVC, she's only three behind Kathleen Kinmont, who is second on the list after Cynthia Rothrock and her immense 42. Granted, between her and Kinmont are 8 names, including newly inducted Hall of Famer Shannon Tweed (7), another Hall of Famer in Julie Strain (6), Andy Sidaris mainstay Dona Speir (6), and one of the all-time greats, Vivica A. Fox (7). If anyone could pass those names though, it's definitely Kurylenko, as she has some great stuff coming down the pike, and she's carving out a name for herself as one of the best action leads in the business. This is one that, while the film itself is lackluster, her performance is still great, and to me that's always the sign of a great star. She's been getting great reviews for her performance in Boudica: Queen of War, the newest Jesse V. Johnson flick, so I can't wait to see her in that one.

As far as Gary Oldman, this is our first time seeing him on the site, and to be honest, I'm not sure why he's in this at all. He doesn't do much beyond sit in a robe with his eye patch and bark orders on the phone or eat nice meals set to classical music. Obviously he provides a name on the tin that, when combined with Olga Kurylenko in leather pants, garners the streams a film like this is looking for, but when you actually get stuck in and find out the Oldman you're getting feels grafted on as an afterthought, it's kind of not worth it, no matter how great Kurylenko is in her scenes. If you were to tell me a film was employing "Gary Oldman in an eye patch" padding I'd tell you that sounds fantastic, but the reality unfortunately isn't as much fun as the idea. Considering it's been over 1200 posts before we had our first Gary Oldman film, I don't know when we'll see him again, so if this is it, it's a shame it wasn't under better circumstances, but I guess it's nice that we even had him at all. 

Mr. Dermot Mulroney is back. We last saw him with a Grecian Formula mustache over a gray beard in Section 8, which was a fantastic turn as a baddie. Here he's an agent on the phone, one we're just waiting until the big reveal that he's actually a crooked cop in the employ of our be-eye-patched baddie. He is perfect for the government agent or higher-up detective role though, he looks great in a suit, does a great job talking on the phone, or scowling behind a desk, and can pull off being earnest when we know full well that he's on the take, we're just waiting for the big reveal. It looks like at this stage he's gone full-on DTV, so we should be expecting to see him on the DTVC even more in the coming year or so--we already have The Getback in the can from when Ty and I discussed it on a previous podcast episode. Hopefully he does more than just playing government agents on the take, but if not, at least he's good at it.

Finally, going back to the Oldman performance, I looked in the IMDb trivia, and there were some great, snarky fake entries for that. One said "Gary Oldman only accepted the role after the director agreed to alter all the actor cues 'sit', 'walk' and 'run' in the script to 'sit down sipping a beverage'." Another said "Gary Oldman stated his role [in this] was one of the most physically intensive of his career to date." I love this kind of thing, but I feel like IMDb should lean into it a bit more. Right now you only have a thumbs up or a thumbs down to say that the trivia is helpful or not. Why not include a laughing emoji option? Like the one on The Fast and the Furious that said the filmmakers originally intended to cast Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez, and Dustin Diamond; or the ones you see on a lot of the Seagal films' entries, like A Dangerous Man, that had this gem in the trivia: " 'A Dangerous Man' is not only the title of the film but a smart nod to Steven Segal himself, who has been known to become a 'dangerous man' when he is hungry." On the other hand, I get too why IMDb might not want a laughing emoji for the joke trivia: without it, there's still that sliver of hope that the joke trivia is actually real, and we all could use a little more hope in our lives, couldn't we?

And with that, let's wrap this up. As of this writing, The Courier is actually available on Netflix here in the States. It has its flaws, and could've been better for sure, but if you're a Kurylenko fan, it's worth a watch. Also if you're a Kurylenko fan, check out the podcast episode on her that I did with Will from Exploding Helicopter, from June 13th of this year, number 127 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8075016

And my newest novel, Don's House in the Mountains, is available now on Amazon! Click the image to buy.

High Heat (2022)

This is a film Will from Exploding Helicopter and I covered when we did our Olga Kurylenko double feature episode, number 127 in the archives from back in June. I was excited not only for Kurylenko, but also Don Johnson, and WCW favorite "Diamond" Dallas Page. Let's see how it did.

High Heat has Kurylenko as a Russian chef who specializes in French cooking and, with her husband, Don Johnson, opens a French restaurant. The fact that her sous chef can't make a beurre blanc sauce is the least of her problems: Johnson is into a mobster, Page, for a lot of money, and to get it back, they're going to blow up the restaurant and collect the insurance money. The thing is though, seldom do Russians in movies not have a KGB past, and Kurylenko is no exception, so when Page's men come in to set the restaurant ablaze, she dispatches them, Plus Page's other men. She knows she'll need help, so she calls in an old friend--who may or may not be a friend--and that friend brings her husband and their twin teen daughters to help Kurylenko defend her restaurant. Page and his baddies won't know what hit them.

This is more comedy than action, and if you go in knowing that, I think you'll be okay. The action is pretty solid--though Will and I remarked that not enough was done with the kitchen space to make the action more inspired and dynamic; and the comedy works for the most part, though it leans pretty heavily on irony, which can wear on you a bit. We also get really good performances, especially from Kurylenko, Johnson, Page, and then Kurylenko's old spy buddy, played by Kaitlin Doubleday, and her husband, played by Chris Diamantopolous--you might say he's the "topolous!" The other thing that I think's important about this, is it's made with a level of earnestness that, in this age of things pushed out there in an assembly line fashion, is a breath of fresh air. Overall Will and I were in agreement that this worked.

We're now up to 4 Kurylenko films on the site, a very low number that hopefully we'll get higher soon. She has an It quality in action films that works to elevate the material, but she also does well with the comedic beats in something like this. I don't think this works on the levels it does if she's not in the lead, which I think is the sign of a true star. The fact that she doesn't quite have the recognition she should was a reason why I came to Will to discuss her on the pod, because I knew he was already a fan. I was looking at what she has coming out soon, and one is a Chinese film called Fox Hunt that stars one of my favorite actors, Tony Leung Chiu-wai, that I can't wait to see, plus she has one coming this November, another Jesse V. Johnson collaboration, Boudica: Queen of War. Beyond that, we also have all the films in her back catalog that we haven't done yet that we need to catch up on. It'll be fun to see what she has next for us.

This is not our first time seeing Don Johnson on the site, that would be Machete, but this is his first DTV flick. Here he plays more of a cheeseball, which is interesting, because I know him as Sonny Crockett on Miami Vice, one of, it not my favorite TV show of all time. Looking at his IMDb bio, he seems to have a way of fading a bit in his career, only to get a supporting role in another big film, like Machete or Django Unchained, or most recently Knives Out. This film gives us some insight into why: he can play a lot of different parts, and play them well. As an aside, if you haven't seen Miami Vice in a while--or ever--in the States it's currently free to stream on Tubi. It's more than just pastels, it's slick and engaging film noir, with great performances, fun guest stars, and a fantastic soundtrack. 

If you've been rockin' with the DTVC for some time, you may know of my past as a wrestling fan, especially in the late 90s when my friends and I would watch WCW Monday Night Nitro, and the DTV films that TNT would show after it. It played a big part in my love of DTV flicks that inspired the creation of this site. One of the biggest storylines that played out during that time was "Diamond" Dallas Page and his buddies getting a ref to throw a match in his favor against "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan and his NWO gang, making Page the champion. During an episode of Monday Night Nitro, he lost the belt early on, and, knowing that belts can't be moved during non-Pay-Per-View events, I correctly predicted that Page would win it back before the end of the show, and I was right. What I didn't expect was that he'd call himself the "two-time champ," saying "two-time, two time" in this high-pitched voice. It was something my buddies and I imitated for weeks after, and seeing him in this film brought back those memories. "Two time, two time!"

Finally, I minored in German in undergrad, 21 years ago now, and while I've forgotten a lot of it, one thing I do remember is that the word "hostess" is a false cognate that in English means a female front of house staff member at a restaurant who handles reservations and seats people, but in German means a high-end prostitute. As you can imagine, it could create a bit of confusion when German tourists are in the States and someone tells them "your hostess will be with you in a moment" or "your hostess will seat you now." Anyway, in this film, Don Johnson walks their restaurant's front of house manager to her car, a position that would have been called the "hostess" in the past, and when they get to the parking garage, they're confronted by Page's son and his other goons, and the son asks if she's Johnson's prostitute. I don't know if the joke was made on purpose, but I appreciated that it dovetailed with my German minor, something I use very seldom now.

And with that, let's wrap this up. As of right now, this is available to rent here in the States. I think it's better as a free streamer or as part of a streaming package you already pay for, so hopefully Tubi or Hulu will get a hold of it for you. In the meantime, check out the podcast episode Will and I did a couple months ago. It was a lot of fun, and gave Kurylenko the shine she deserves.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15721088

And if you haven't yet, check out my new novel, Holtman Arms, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

 

White Elephant (2022)

This was another in the Bruce Willis DTV films Ty from Comeuppance Reviews and I have been looking at on the podcast. He'd already seen it on AMC+, but once Hulu got it I was able to make it happen too, which we did on ep 123. We figured with the cast, and the fact that it was directed by Jesse V. Johnson, that it may be better than the usual DTV EFO Willis films.

White Elephant has Michael Rooker as a hitman for mob boss Bruce Willis. He's been training his replacement in anticipation of retirement. Problem is, during one of his replacement's jobs, he's caught by two police detectives, one of whom is played by Olga Kurylenko. Willis wants them both dead, and while her partner was an easy job, Kurylenko proves to be a bit tougher, which means Rooker needs to get involved. He sees similarities between her and a woman in his life who died, and that makes him sympathetic to Kurylenko's plight, causing him to go rogue and join her side. They run back to his fortified mansion in the country, and prepare for the final siege of Willis's men. Will they survive? Either way, consigliere John Malkovich is staying out of all of it.

Ty and I were right on this one, it is a pretty good deal. Rooker and Kurylenko are solid, plus it has the Jesse V. Johnson action you're looking for. That end fight is everything you'd want, but also the action scenes before it are great too and do a great job building to that final siege. We also have good Willis mitigation, with him playing the mob boss he doesn't need too many scenes, though Johnson pushes it by having him get shot in an assassination attempt, and later in the hospital it looks like we have a double who gets comforted by Rooker. Overall though, we have a nice runtime, fun cast, and solid action scenes. To me this is everything you want in a DTV actioner.

We're now at 12 Willis films on the site, but with Ty and I covering so many for the pod, we now have 8 in the can that we could review at any time--and that's 8 and counting as Ty and I do more of these for the podcast. By my count there's roughly another 20 I could watch and review, which is huge, because by that math that would put Willis in the 40 Club. While that's far off, I think DTVC Hall of Fame consideration needs to be in play. If more of them were like this it'd be an easy decision, but they aren't, we have a lot of EFO tossed together stinkers to consider too. Is that possible that we could be keeping one of the greatest movies stars of all time out of the Hall of Fame because the quality of his DTV stuff isn't there? The other thing is the automatic induction if he hits 30 films, which is very possible too, and is even more fascinating. Using our baseball analogies as I'm wont to do, it's like he's amassed a first ballot hall of fame career in Hollywood, but has a Craig Biggio career in DTV. For those who aren't familiar with Craig Biggio and American baseball, Biggio did pretty well as a player, but wasn't an all-time great that you'd want for a hall of fame; but he had over 3000 hits, and anyone who has over 3000 hits is in the hall of fame, so he was put in too despite not having the greatest career. Will Willis be our Craig Biggio?

The last time we saw Michael Rooker on here, it was 2010 when we did The Marine 2. This is a much better film than that was, and Rooker has a much better role than he had in that one. My introduction to him was in Mallrats, but I know a lot of people are familiar with him through his work as Yondu in the Guardians of the Galaxy series--and I think that's my favorite name to say, "Yon-duuuuu." It's good to see him here playing an aging character who's coming to terms with the life he led, a kind of character we don't often see Rooker play when he's in supporting parts or cameos in bigger things. With him being a part of three major franchises, Marvel, DC, and the Fast and Furious, he'll probably have no problem paying the bills, but it'll be fun to see if he does more of this kind of thing in the future, as he was really good here. Also of note: he did two DTV films in 2022, and both were with Willis, the other being the Tubi Original Corrective Measures, which we've also covered on the podcast on episode 116.

With this post, Jesse V. Johnson crosses an important director milestone at the DTVC, he now has 10 directed films reviewed, which I think makes him the 10th director ever to have that honor. As of this writing, I haven't seen Hell Hath No Fury or One Ranger yet, but I'd say out of the others, this is my favorite of his since Avengement. Looking at who's doing DTV right now, it's probably him and Isaac Florentine as the best, and you know when you see his name attached that there's going to be a minimum level of quality that, even if it's not one of his best, will at least put this above a lot of the other DTV stuff out there and make for solid watch. In this world where we have so many options, and with EFO out there drawing us in on the promise of big names but not delivering, to feel confident knowing I'm going to get a certain level of quality can't be understated. Looking at the podcast episode Ty and I did, we paired this with Survive the Game, which was exactly the EFO rough sit I'm describing, so even we banked on the Jesse V. Johnson mark of quality to mitigate the pain we were getting from the EFO film we chose. It'll be exciting to see what Johnson does next, but he's already putting together one of the best DTV action directing careers.

Usually the "finally" paragraph is some personal anecdote or aside that is only tangentially connected to the film, but I couldn't write the whole review and not spotlight Olga Kurylenko. I'm always talking about the top women in action, but I've been leaving her out of the conversation, which is bad on my part. If you look at her CV, she's as good as anyone going right now, and compared to some other names like Amy Johnston or Natalie Burn, she's even better. On my Andy Sidaris LETHAL Ladies posts, I talk about how high up the list of women in action Dona Speir is, but looking at this CV I think Kurylenko might be ahead of her too. At this point this is only her third film on the site, so I need to dig in and watch and review more of her stuff, but she could already be behind Rothrock as second best DTV female action star. Total oversight on my part to not have been spotlighting her more.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Here in the States it's AMC+ and Hulu, which isn't a bad deal. This is a solid actioner that delivers what you're looking for, no need to worry if you queue this up on a Saturday night. And the podcast episode is 123 in the archives, definitely worth checking out. You can subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher so you don't miss the next time Ty and I cover more Willis flicks.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14686544

And if you haven't yet, check out my new novel, Holtman Arms, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Erased (2012)

A while back Jamie and I were looking at films to review for the podcast, and she mentioned being a fan of Aaron Eckhart. I kind of like him myself, so when I saw this on Instant, I figured it would be a good deal for both of us. Let's see if I was right.

Erased has Eckhart living in Belgium with his teen daughter and working for a security firm. He also used to work for the CIA. This CIA training comes in handy when his employer decides to erase all record of him being employed with the company, and then tries to kill him. Now he needs to protect his daughter and unravel the mystery of why his employers have done this to him.

This wasn't bad. It's a little long at 100 minutes, and that extra ten or so from my usual 90 shows itself in a very clear way near the end, when things are dragging on a bit more than they should. We also finish with a beautiful airport reunion scene that feels a little like "really, you're going here?" Beyond that though, Eckhart turns in a great performance as the lead, and Liana Liberato and Olga Kurylenko are good as his daughter and former CIA partner respectively. What I love most is how Eckhart exudes his American-ness in this most European of countries, and the clash makes for great drama on top of the already packed drama of the plot. Overall, this is a fun suspense actioner, and a good way to kill 100 minutes.

As I said, I am a fan of Eckhart. My personal favorite of his was Rabbit Hole, which also starred Nicole Kidman. Like I mentioned above, he exudes a certain American-ness that really works in the dynamic of "American struggling abroad," and all of his lantern-jawed, hearty, rugged individualism plays so well in Antwerp and Brussels, these most European of cities. Eckhart would be on your short-list of actors to play Captain America, but he also has this vibe that you could see Hemingway basing a 1920s novel set in Paris around him, and you see it in the way he deals with the authorities and people trying to kill him throughout the film. I liked it, and it made him someone you could root for, not in a "USA, USA!" kind of obnoxious sense, but in a "he's just a good guy" kind of sense.

What's interesting about these kind of spy-thriller type deals, is that after James Bond, there's this idea that you can cast anyone to play them, and we'll buy it. Now after Matt Damon in the Bourne films, it's even more so, but for me, this film really shows the limitations of that concept, because Eckhart really works, and I think it's necessary to know that you can't just use anyone and expect it to work. For example, let's take Sean Connery as James Bond. You could replace him with one of the guys who played Doctor Who, and do all the editing and jumpcuts you want to make us believe that that guy is really kicking ass, but Connery has a certain charisma that's required to pull the whole thing off. The same is true here with Eckhart. Yes, if you cast Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, or Liam Neeson, the film probably makes it into Hollywood and a wide theatrical release here in the States--plus probably an additional 20 minutes added onto the already stretched runtime--but it's not the same as getting a guy like Eckhart who really looks and feels the part.

I mentioned above about that dynamic of Eckhart versus Europe that the film had, and one area where it worked was in his two co-stars. The teen daughter, Liana Liberato, really had the feel of someone who had assimilated into European life, and perhaps even a kind of European cosmopolitanism. The former partner, Olga Kurylenko, of course is European, and thus brings that sensibility with her automatically. Eckhart is juxtaposed with them in a way that lets us see just how American he is, to the point where he may not say "Freedom Fries," but he's going to let you know what "football" means to him--a sport where people seldom use their feet to kick the ball, despite the name. Go Pats!

Finally, Jamie and I have a running theme in the podcasts where I call attention to filmmakers who show a blatant disregard for the lives of people in the medical field, and this film might have been the worst offender. In one scene, a paid assassin finds Eckhart and his daughter in a hospital, and hunts them down while Eckhart tries to both fight back and protect his daughter. All the while, we are seeing doctors, nurses, housekeeping, kitchen help--all but the pharmaceutical reps, because you know they know to hide when the shooting starts--getting hit by stray bullets. This was like a national tragedy in Belgium the body count was so high. Hey, I like a good kill count in an actioner just as much as the next guy, but come on. Some of these people are working 16 hour shifts, under the most stressful conditions, and now they gotta deal with getting shot by a stray bullet as well?

As always, once the rant starts, it's time to close up shop. This is no longer on Instant, but if it comes back, or you see it on TV, it's not a bad time killer. Eckhart is fun in all his lantern-jawed goodness taking it to the Belgians. What more can you ask for? And remember, you can check the podcast by going to the sidebar and clicking the link to your favorite podcatcher.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1645155/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Centurion (2010)

It's always been my dream to get a Michael Fassbender film on the DTVC, and, while this isn't exactly DTV, it did only earn about $150K on 12 screens here in the US; plus, in the context of my UK Week, it isn't so much of a shoehorn job. Nope, the DTVC is officially getting Sassy with Fassy, and it feels so good.

Centurion has Michael Fassbender as a Centurion defending the Roman frontier border in Britain when he's attacked by the Picts and taken prisoner. He's set free so some of them can hunt him down, and as he's running away, he bumps into General Dominic West's 9th Legion. He joins them, only to have almost the entire legion destroyed in a guerrilla attack. In an attempt to rescue West, who was captured, a less scrupulous member of the survivors kills a kid in the Pict camp, a kid who just happens to be the king's son. Now Fassy and his remaining men are in a struggle for their lives as they're stuck behind enemy lines, with a bloodthirsty hunting party hot on their heels. Will they make it back alive?



I really liked this one. Very bloody, nasty, yet very cool in a comic book adventure kind of way. Fassbender anchored the cast, but there were also two killer Pict warrior women that were fun to watch, and a slew of other UK notables. I mentioned West above, plus I have a particular fondness for Paul Freeman and Liam Cunningham. I also liked how this was ambiguous in who the good guys were. We're rooting for Fassbender because he's Fassbender, but are we rooting for the Romans or the Picts? Do we not sympathize more with the Pict warrior woman who leads the hunt because of the savage way the Romans treated her in the past? Yet we can't help but be caught up in Fassbender's struggle for survival. This is a fun movie and worth checking out.

About a year ago I saw Hunger, and it was the first time I looked up Michael Fassbender on imdb. Two things struck me. First, his birthday is on April 2nd, one day after mine; and second, he is only 2 years older than me (or one year, 364 days). The idea that Fassbender would've been a junior when I was a freshman if we had gone to the same high school, is tough to fathom. Trying to imagine Fassbender as a high schooler is tough to fathom. I think Centurion is a great and unique way to experience Fassbender, because it's not the big Hollywood blockbuster or the hard hitting indie drama, but Fassbender delivers the same kind of professional performance. That's Sassy Fassy for you.



This is another flick from Magnet Releasing. Look at their rap sheet just on the DTVC: Hobo With a Shotgun, Rubber, and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. All four of these have been great, yet all four are totally different. The only thing they have in common is that they're off the beaten path, not quite mainstream. I guess they're also all very bloody. The red in the logo stands for blood. I think it's great though that we have someone like Magnet out there fighting the good fight, and getting us flicks like these that we might not otherwise have.

I wanted to mention Dominic West and Paul Freeman quickly. West was in a great version of King Richard III (Richard III) starring Sir Ian McKellen and Robert Downey Jr. If you haven't checked that out I suggest you do so. This isn't his first time on the DTVC either. He played Jigsaw in Punisher: War Zone. (This also isn't his first time with Fassy. They were in 300 together.) Paul Freeman is a different story. DTVC readers may remember him in Aces: Iron Eagle III, or, more notably, from Double Team. I wonder where that ranks for him. On the one hand, Michael Fassbender. On the other, JCVD and Dennis Rodman. Gotta love those guys.



On my school trip, we finished up in Edinburgh, spending a couple days there. It was cool, we got to check out the Johnny Walker plant, along with some famous castles and whatnot. We also hit a lot of pubs, which didn't just mean drinking, but also meeting a lot of great people, who were often older but very gracious and welcoming to an 18-year-old-- which, looking back on it as a 33-year-old, was very good of them. At that time in my life, I didn't hike-- it wouldn't be for another 11 years before I'd discover that passion in my life-- and when I think of the mountains there that I didn't summit, it upsets me. I need to go back there sometime and make it happen.

And you need to get on Watch Instantly and make this one happen. Sassy Fassy, cool comic book style adventure, and loads of gore. This is the Roman period flick you came for, you won't be disappointed.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020558/