18 Fingers of Death (2006)

For our third 2026 Hall of Fame inductee, it's unfortunately as somber one as well, as we're honoring the late James Lew, who probably should've been in before for all his stunt work. Here I picked a film that was his passion project, which was written and directed by him, also stars him, and he was fight and stunt coordinator on it. It feels like the perfect Lew induction film. In addition to us, Matt Spector at Bulletproof Action has covered this as well.

18 Fingers of Death is a mockumentary-style film about a once famous action star, Buford Lee (Lew), who is trying to make him new film, 18 Fingers of Death, and fan and first time director Ronald Mack (Maurice Patton) is documenting it. Unfortunately the funding is pulled, so now Lee and Mack join forces to make the film on whatever limited resources they can get. As they're making the film, we get interviews with other action luminaries, like Steven Seefood, Chuck Snorris, Jackie Chong (Robin Shou), and Antonio Bandana (Lorenzo Lamas, who in the role performs "Guantanamera"!); plus behind the scenes footage of some of Lee's past films. As they're casting for the new film, local TV host Sushi Cue (Lisa Arturo) auditions for the leading lady role, but could she be Lee's real life leading lady?

This was a ton of fun, especially for us action fans. Lew lines up all the best clichés and standards, and pokes fun at them in a way that only someone who's spent decades in the industry can. The thing is though, while he's doing all these goofy send-ups, he manages to also have some great fight scenes, and gives us a main character in Buford Lee that we want to root for and see succeed. Then you have the massive guest roster, which includes Pat Morita as Lee's father; the aforementioned Lamas and Shou; Bokeem Woodbine as "Billy Buff," a Billy Blanks parody; Ho Sung Pak as a young Buford Lee; George Cheung as a doctor; June Kyoto Lu as Lee's mother (in a much smaller part than Morita as the father); and then cameo of all cameos, Don "the Dragon" Wilson plays himself, helping out at Buford Lee's acting class! Everyone got the assignment and added to the proceedings, which made it all that much more enjoyable. Some of the humor was a bit goofy and maybe a bit gross depending on your sensibilities, but it all worked for me. If you're an action fan, especially of the names I mentioned above, I think you'll enjoy this.

Maybe the biggest travesty is that this movie isn't more well-known. I'd heard of it, but wasn't sure what it was, and only seriously considered it for a review when I was looking for something for Lew's induction post, and saw this as one of his directing credits. Some of it could be the bad reviews, especially on IMDb, where in true IMDb user review style, someone gave this a 3 because the Seagal parody was named "Steven Seefood" instead of "Steven Seagull." As the kids would say, that's peak IMDb user review behavior. That may explain some of it, but I also think Lew was a little too on point with showing how the sausage is made, and that may have ruffled a few feathers. This is all a part of Lew that we never really got as he was often a henchman or bodyguard in an action movie, which didn't leave a lot of room for anything beyond beating people up or taking a beating, and while it would've been nice to have more of that off-beat side, the fact that this exists and we get to enjoy this side of him is something we're fortunate to have. 90s action wouldn't have been 90s action without him, he truly will be missed, and his Hall of Fame induction was long overdue, but at least he's in now.

Two big names were in this as smaller parts, 40 Club member Don "the Dragon" Wilson, who's now at 46 films, two behind Cynthia Rothrock for third all-time among actors on the site; and Lorenzo Lamas, who's now at 38, two away from becoming the fifth actor in the DTVC 40 Club. We'll start with Lamas because he has the bigger part as "Antonio Bandana." First he's interviewed about Buford Lee, while singing "Guantanamera," which is something I never thought I'd get, but now that we're getting it I feel so lucky. Later he's in a scene that I'll talk about in the seventh paragraph which is all about farting, and he carries that off too. I think it says a lot about Lamas and his relationship with Lew that he's in this playing one of the parody characters, because considering the size of the career he's had, Lew could've had someone play a parody version of him instead, and didn't, which I think is cool to see, and again highlights their relationship. Wilson's part is smaller, as he plays himself helping Buford Lee's acting class. While he's playing himself and not a parody character they way Lamas was, the fact that he's in this as himself, as opposed to someone playing a parody version of him, also highlights his relationship with Lew.

We also had two big names that were parodied, and parodied in a way that was a little ahead of what is now the popular perception of them. First there was Steven Seefood, where Buford Lee dons a ponytail and plays Seefood's stunt double, which is fitting, because Seagal's longtime stunt double, Dian Hristov, is also getting into the Hall of Fame in 2026; but also it was a crack about how little Seagal was actually acting in his films, something we were starting to notice at that time too. The other part of the Seagal parody was him eating Chinese food while being interviewed by the documentarian, and in that interview he tells these tall tales about fighting off groups of Asian or black attackers in New York City. These ridiculous stories were starting to get called out more, and overall he was looking like more of a clown in the action world, but this was still only 2004, even before Outlaw Vern's Seagalogy, so Seagal was still revered in a lot of circles, and would continue to pump out a ton of DTV films for the next fifteen years, but the cracks in the image were definitely starting. The other name I wanted to mention was Chuck Norris, who gets skewered as "Chuck Snorris," depicted as an old man trying to hawk his as seen on TV workout equipment. The cracks in Norris's reputation started to show more in the late 2000s/early 2010s when he came out as a Birther and actively worked against marriage equality, among other hateful things he championed. It was such that when he passed away earlier this year, I think there were more tributes to Lew than there were Norris, which I wouldn't have expected in the mid-2000s when this was made, but it made sense in 2026. Again, it's interesting seeing these things now when so much more is known, but trying to bring my brain back to 2006--or 2004 when this was actually made--and trying to understand these depictions at that time, I think they were ahead of their time then.

Finally, while I am 47 years old, and by all accounts in our society am considered an adult, a good portion of me is still a ten-year-old, as evidenced by how much I was laughing at the farting action sequence. The idea is, Buford Lee is making a film that takes place in Mexico, and the film's caterer, Sammy Delassandro (Joey Diaz), decided to make a Mexican-themed spread for the cast and crew. The result was everyone had a lot of gas while shooting one of the big action sequences, and so we're treated to constant fart noises. It reminded me of when my friends and I would make fart noises while watching movies, and by the end of it I was laughing like a ten-year-old. It was a thing of beauty, and just another area where this movie works, at least for a man child like me. As an aside, one of the best places to get a cheesesteak here in Philly is Dalessandro's, and I don't know if Joey Diaz's character name is an homage to that. People often think about Cheesesteak Corner, where Pat's and Geno's are, but in Roxoborough you have Dalessandro's, which is better than either of them, and then across the street there's Chubby's, which is like a diner where they play hair metal, which is a nice deal too.

Anyway, I could go on about cheesesteaks all day, so why don't we wrap this up. You can rent this on Amazon for $1.99, or buy it for $3.99--which as we know isn't actually buying, but rather having a license to watch it until Amazon decides you can't anymore. If you haven't seen it before, it is worth a rental, especially if you're a fan of action movies, and in particular 90s low-budget actioners. This was the perfect James Lew Hall of Fame induction post, so I'm glad we did it. One of the greatest to do it, he will truly be missed.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397853/

Flesh Wounds (2011)

I saw this on Netflix Instant, and with names like Kevin Sorbo and Bokeem Woodbine, I figured it was a sure bet.  I guess it's technically a TV movie, but on imdb I couldn't see on what channel-- or in country for that matter-- it first aired.  Anyway, it looked pretty promising, so I figured why not?  Also, our friend Mitch at The Video Vacuum has hit this one too if you want to give it a look.

Flesh Wounds is a Predator rip-off starring Sorbo as a misogynistic jerk that leads a special forces unit into the jungle on a mission to get some bodies out or something.  They're ordered to take CIA agent Heather Marie Marsden, so Sorbo and his team of misogynists all have their dander up.  Meanwhile, between their cat calling and sexist remarks, they're also taking out some terrorists that supposedly live in the area.  But when things aren't as they seem, people start dying.  What could it be?  And will they all get out alive?



This movie was horrible.  First off, it had an appalling amount of misogyny.  I mean, it was so bad, the 1950s called as I was watching it and was like "wow, this is ridiculous."  It might not have been so bad if it were just the guys in Sorbo's troop who we all knew were going to be killed off anyway, but when Sorbo, the guy we're supposed to be rooting for, is as bad as any of them, it makes the whole thing difficult.  It wasn't just the classic "women don't belong out here" or "look at that ass", though there was plenty of that; but we had plenty of moments where men, including Sorbo, put their hands on Marsden in a very threatening and bullying kind of way, which was really disturbing.  Beyond that, we had only very superficial action throughout most of the film, which wasn't doing anything for me either.  We have the Predator-like thing strike at the very beginning, and then we don't see him again for a real long time, and in between it's just Sorbo's guys taking out terrorists in very lackluster, nonaction action scenes.  I don't know, a Predator rip-off could've been a lot of fun, and we've seen it be fun before, but this one was sauteed in ignorance and wrong sauce.

Bearing in mind the understanding that action movies tend to be more male-centered, and a lot of the tropes that we take for granted are problematic, for a movie to be so misogynistic that it made me uncomfortable, it's pretty bad.  In my mind it's like, why even have women in your film if your opinion of them is that bad?  In fact, why even bother making this movie?  Just go back to your subreddit on misandry or your trolling Twitter and Tumblr accounts.  Again, I wouldn't have had as much trouble with it had Sorbo's character not been as bad, or if Marsden's was the lead, and the misogyny was just another obstacle she had to overcome; but that's not what this was, this was a pile of ignorant views on women set up as legitimate.  Not a good look.



I don't know what to say about Sorbo in the lead.  He didn't write the film, but did he at least know his character had these issues?  There's a scene where he grabs Marsden in a very threatening manner that was very disturbing, and while her character handles it well, it didn't make me want to root for him as the hero.  I'd like to think that Sorbo is better than this, that that character didn't represent him, but I wonder what he was thinking while reading the script.  Maybe it didn't seem as bad then, or maybe even in shooting.  Who knows?  He's built up enough good will that I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.  Beyond that, he had some decent moments, like when he was fighting the Predator-like thing at the end; but he also had some funny mailing it in moments, especially one when he's yelling and shooting into the woods.  He was just like "Aaaaaah, you bastard!" in a very measured "I don't care" tone.  Maybe he was supposed to be more like Reb Brown, but didn't have it in him to scream.

As much as the misogyny derailed this, the bad pacing and lackluster action didn't help either.  I mean, one scene taking out the terrorists on the island would've been sufficient.  From there, we need the Predator picking off Sorbo's team, but instead we had more taking out the terrorists.  Where did they all come from?  Were they spawning asexually through sporing?  The fact that we got to the end and almost his entire team was still alive to help him build up the defenses tells you that a lot of time was wasted.  It was also all over the place, like when one of Sorbo's team captures a terrorist and cuts his fingers off to get information out of him.  It was the kind of scene you'd expect from a film like this, if you know what I mean.  Just bad all around.



Finally, I had a sense that this wasn't so much a Predator rip-off as it was a Robowar rip-off.  Why did Robowar work and this didn't?  I don't know, the whole thing was just more fun.  No misogyny, consistent kills, and Reb Brown killing it with plenty of screaming.  I think a few improvements, beyond getting rid of the misogyny and ramping up the action quotient, would've started with a more fun group of guys in Sorbo's team.  The only distinct personalities were the biggest jerks, which is dumb.  More Predator-like thing kills spread throughout the film would've worked well too.  Also, maybe have some women on Sorbo's team, that way if you need Marsden's character to be like Carl Weathers's, the team's disdain won't be so offensive.

Anyway, this is a total pass, I think one of the worst I've seen in my 6 years and 900-plus films.  If the misogyny doesn't get you, the bad action and bad pacing will.  I guess you can get it on Instant or DVD if you were so inclined.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1461677/

Hard Cash aka Run for the Money (2002)

This is one of those ones that, despite how many bad things I've heard about it, the star power was too big to ignore it. It's one of those things I think people don't understand about my review site: I have to do them whether they're good or bad, and filling my comment boxes for other movies with things you'd rather do than watch this doesn't make it any easier on me, it just means I have to look forward to those same negative comments again when I write the actual review. Speaking of which, our friend at Cool Target Action Reviews has looked at Hard Cash as well.

Hard Cash follows highly sophisticated thief Christian Slater, who is caught trying to steal a bunch of cash from William Forsythe and spends a year in jail. Once out, he plans a huge OTB heist with a gang that includes Daryl Hannah, Balthazar Getty, and Bokeem Woodbine. Problem: that was earmarked fed cash, and fed Val Kilmer sees an opportunity to make some more by kidnapping Slater's daughter and forcing him and his gang to hit an armored truck.



I don't know if this deserves the "good luck with that one" or "I wanted to scratch my eyes out" warnings I received in the comments of previous Val Kilmer and Christian Slater movie reviews I've done, but it wasn't good either. It suffered from an identity crisis, starting out off beat and darkly comedic, then becoming too serious, and from there never knowing what it wanted. Then the plot ran out of control, as the writers didn't know how to put the right bow on things and wrap it up. Plot twists all over the place, making us wonder what a character's motivations were, especially Slater's girlfriend. It's almost as if two people wrote two different stories, and someone tried to put them together.

I guess we'll start with Slater because he had the biggest part. Great as always, and he did a solid job of rolling with the punches of a poorly written character with no solid identity. If I were to point to the area where the film went off the rails with him, I'd say it was inserting the daughter. Kids are always complicated, and when she showed up the humor that carried the opening disappeared. I would've liked to have seen Slater and Kilmer have a true face off where their comedic talents and action movie past came together, but with a kid's life in peril, it's kind of hard to do either.



Kilmer's could've been an even better character than Slater's, and I know Kilmer has the chops to pull that off, but he was even more wasted after the introduction of the kid. He went from funny and borderline crazy to run-of-the-mill baddie at that point, which left me wondering: why are we even here? Once Kilmer becomes run-of-the-mill, I'm mentally checking out and thinking about Bennett in Commando-- now he was a great run-of-the-mill baddie!

The heist film is never easy, but here it felt like the people involved with making it were good with just casting some big names, and hoping the rest will take care of itself. Either that, or they reached a point where they were just throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what will stick. We had love triangles that we could've done without, characters killed off or killing each other off with the only real purpose being to thin out the cast. I'm not saying we need a remake of the original Ocean's Eleven, but that would've been a great place to start.



More than anything, while this lost its identity midway through, it was also fairly unremarkable throughout. Again, it's great that you've gathered up this talent, but what's the point? Is the point to just splash them all over the front and back covers and sell DVDs? If the movie is itself is just a big ol' pile of blah, is that just the high cost of doing business? It's an interesting question: does it matter how good or bad the movie is, as long as I was duped into renting it?

As I mentioned in the opening, I wasn't duped, I had to do this one based on the star power alone, but that doesn't mean I won't use this last paragraph to warn you off from it-- unless you have a review site too and know you'll have to do this one eventually. In that case "man, good luck with that, I'd rather watch Battlefield Earth while drinking prune juice in a sweltering room full of angry killer bees and wearing nothing but wool underwear than watch that sack of asscrack again!"

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0248640/

Across the Line:The Exodus of Charlie Wright (2010)

I put this in my queue, first and foremost, because it lists DTVC Hall of Famer Gary Daniels in its cast, a cast which is very star-studded, including Mario Van Peebles, Bokeem Woodbine, Corbin Bernsen, Andy Garcia, Gena Gershon, and Aiden Quinn. I had a feeling Daniels wouldn't be in it much, but I figured I'd give it a look anyway.

Across the Line has Aiden Quinn as very successful investment broker whose enterprise has been revealed to be a Ponzi scheme, ripping off investors to the tune of $11 billion give or take. Before FBI agent Van Peebles can get a warrant, Quinn escapes, meaning he could be anywhere. Turns out anywhere is Tijuana, where a lot of people want him and his money. Andy Garcia runs a crime family on the border that is into some scary characters in Mexico City for some big cash, and he sees Quinn as his gift from God. Back in LA, a couple retired Russian mob bosses that Quinn ripped off for $100 million want their pound of flesh, and they hire Luke Goss to hire Gary Daniels's mercenary team to get him. As all of this is going on, Quinn is looking to make amends for a major regret in his past, which is the reason he's in TJ to begin with.



This looked like it was going to be a pretty decent film. It was moving along pretty well with few dead spots, and I actually cared enough about Quinn's character to see what happened. But then it just ends with nothing really happening, and I'm like "what's the point?" I mean, you gather all this talent, give them pretty solid characters, and that's it, the movie just kind of gives us "as you were". Seldom do I go in for the whole temporal refund deal-- you know, that's 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back-- but I'm feeling it here. Why waste my time?

Daniels had a rather small part, as leader of a three-man mercenary team that included him and Bokeem Woodbine. I'll get into later how confused I was that he wasn't playing Luke Goss's character, or something a little better. Of the three films Daniels did this year, this one, The Expendables, and Hunt to Kill, he only had a small supporting part in each of them. Is this a disturbing trend in Daniels's career? Is he foregoing smaller budget actioners that cast him in the lead, for these smaller roles in slightly bigger movies where he gets to rub shoulders with bigger names? It's a tad disconcerting to say the least, though if he's doing it to make a better name for himself so he can get back to those leading roles, only on a level with guys like Dolph and Seagal, it could be a great move. I guess it's a reality check that a guy that we dig so much isn't as big a deal to everyone else. Hopefully he will be.



Can someone explain this to me? I'm talking about this guy, Luke Goss. Does he make any sense to you? Does he make any sense as somehow above or better than Daniels to you? What, he's bald? Is that it? He looks like a grown up Ben Seaver. Just because you're selling him to me as cooler or better than Daniels or Bokeem Woodbine, doesn't mean I have to buy it. According to imdb, he was in a boy band in the UK called Bros, which sold out Wembley Stadium. I guess they also played at MSG here in the States. That's hot. He should've been Mario Van Peeble's FBI partner, and Daniels should've been given a bigger part, representing his own mercenary team to the Russian mobsters.

At first blush, the idea of casting Andy Garcia as a sophisticated Mexican mob boss sounds good, right? It doesn't work though. Garcia is too good for a part like that, he's too good for the cheesy, poorly written philosophy that these characters spout out, the dime-store novel existentialism, it's all somehow beneath him. The other thing is, he's very American, and didn't work as a native Mexican. In reality, he would've been perfect for Aiden Quinn's part. One side note about Andy Garcia: I loved his work in The Godfather III, a movie that I otherwise thought was a total disappointment.



One of my regrets in life was, on a visit with a friend to San Diego to see his mother, I didn't make it across the border to Tijuana, and this film was a constant reminder of that regret. It's funny, growing up in Maine, four hours or so from Montreal, I've never been to Canada either. I know, that's crazy. My only foray outside the country was to England and Scotland in 1997-- a trip I remember very little of, spending most of the time either drunk or hungover-- I was 18. I actually was going to go to Montreal two years ago, while in Burlington, VT to see some friends, but we didn't make it because there was a huge snowstorm.

Way more information about me than you probably needed, so let's wrap this up. It wasn't a bad movie to begin with, but at the end I was left with this "what's the point?" feeling, and that's never a good thing. Also, there isn't much Gary Daniels here, which seems to be a trend with his new work. Overall, a lot of great talent chewing up scenery, but that's all they're doing.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1663193/

Black Dynamite (2009)

The moment I first saw a trailer for this on Blood and Bone, I needed to see it as soon as possible. As far as I can tell, though it was made in 2008, it had a limited theatrical release in 2009, and then finally came out on DVD a few weeks ago. As always, Netflix didn't have it immediately available, and I didn't have my hopes up, but suddenly it went from Long Wait to For Saturday: Black Dynamite. I'm glad it did.

Black Dynamite is a 70s blaxploitation spoof co-written by and starring Michael Jai White in the lead role, Black Dynamite. The plot is Black Dynamite's younger brother is killed, and as he investigates the murder, he uncovers a governmental conspiracy aimed at attacking African American males where it hurts.



This is one of the most amazing films I've ever seen. Spoofing the 70s and blaxploitation films seems like an easy affair, but the reality is it can be done poorly so many ways, and this film carried it out as well as can be expected-- maybe even better. They reference so many classics, you name it, they cover it. The jokes, though often ridiculous, never stray from their original purpose, and always work. It would be too easy to just throw in everything but the kitchen sink, but what makes Black Dynamite so great is they know when to stop and when to go over the edge. This isn't just an Airplane style take on 70s blaxploitation, this is a unique and hilarious spoof and homage of their own to the genre.

It's no secret that Michael Jai White is a favorite here at the DTVC, and this just makes it even better. You're used to seeing him play the hard, no-nonsense, angry asskicking hero, but he's right at home comedically here. I'm not saying he should never do films like Blood and Bone again, because he's awesome in those too; but he should definitely do more comedies as well, especially when he writes them like he did this, because he was hilarious. The fact that he's a great martial artist, and he can be such a great comedic actor too, is a double threat that I'm not sure anyone else in the industry has. I hate to keep harping on this point, but it just shows again how horribly he was wasted in The Dark Knight. This is the movie that should've made hella cash, not that one.



Usually as I'm capturing images (which if you're curious, I captured a bunch from this one, because it was so good and had so many good people), I listen to the audio commentary to get a sense of what the people involved were thinking as they made it. In this case, as I was listening, they were so funny, I had to watch the whole thing again to listen to the commentary, which I almost never do with any movie. In addition to Michael Jai White, director Scott Sanders, and co-writer Byron Minnis went over everything, from what this or that joke was in reference to, to what scenes people couldn't keep a straight face for, to what guy was killed 6 times. It was almost as funny as the movie itself, and if you liked it as much as I did, seeing it again with the commentary is well worth it.

One thing you'll love about this is all the guest stars. I got images of some of them on the image page for you, and if you can believe it, there were even more than that. Tommy Davidson as the Huggy Bear role was as great as you'd imagine. Somehow, NESN, the sports channel owned by the Red Sox here in New England, snagged Davidson to host their stand-up comedy show. That amazes me, because I'm not sure I've seen a comedic actor as consistently funny as he is, and he should be doing more movies instead of hosting a stand-up show on a local cable channel. Then you've got guys like Arsenio Hall, Miguel Núñez jr., Reno 911's Cedric Yarbrough, retired NBA great John Salley, R&B singer Bryan McKnight, and DTVC favorite Bokeem Woddbine all playing pimps. Phil Morris, aka Jackie Chiles from Seinfeld, plays a Black Panther leader. Kim Whitley plays a madam at a brothel that Black Dynamite looks out for. Some of the best performances were by non-comedic actors, like Salli Richardson-Whitfield as Gloria, the lead actress. The way she played her part so seriously and professionally, even though it was supposed to be so funny, just made the whole thing work that much more.



I'm afraid to say too much about specific scenes, because part of what makes them funny is how they come out of now where, but one little touch they threw in were some intentional mistakes that you should look out for. One I noticed right away was the boom mike. How many times have we watched bad action films and seen the boom mike peek in from the top of the screen. For them to do it on purpose was hilarious. Another that I didn't catch until I listened to the commentary, but that I want to draw your attention to if you don't plan on listening to it, is the Black Panther who reads not only his lines, but all his cues in parenthesis as well. Black Dynamite asks him and his cohorts "Who's in charge here?", and instead of saying (sarcastically) "I'm in charge", he says "Sarcastically, I'm in charge". It didn't make sense until it was explained in the commentary.

If you haven't already, you need to get after this. This is funnier and more awesome than you can imagine. I'm not running off a string of hyperbole here either. Best new film on DVD so far this year, and probably one of the best comedies you'll ever see. As far as I can tell, there's no need to make another spoof/tribute to the 70s blaxploitation genre, because the definitive film is right here.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190536/

The Last Sentinel (2007)

I first saw this on Sci-Fi a couple years ago. It was advertised as a Katee Sackoff picture because she was one of their big stars while on the new Battlestar Galactica. Flipping through channels that same night, I came across a movie that had Don "The Dragon" Wilson in it, and figured, this looks like a good deal. Then they go to commercial, and I realize I'm on the Sci-Fi channel, this is the movie with Sackoff they advertised, and in fact it was really a D "The D" Dubs film repackaged as a Sackoff feature to get the fanboys on board. Nice work, Sci-Fi, you know where your bread is buttered.

The Last Sentinel is a post-apocalyptic actioner that mixes together Star Wars, The Terminator, The Omega Man, and Cyborg into this mish-mash of a story where Wilson is the lone survivor of an engineered group of soldiers looking to fight a bunch of mindless droid cops that have gone beyond their programming to try and wipe out humanity. Katee Sackoff is part of a rebel group living underground that Wilson happens upon, and he tries to teach her how to fight so she can help him fight them. He makes it to some central nervous station that shuts down most droids, but the elite ones survive, and he has one big showdown of a samurai fight with one at the very end.



This was pretty bad. But it was plenty good to make fun of. The action was pretty crappy. Don's fights were poorly choreographed and kind of slow and klunky. The bullets and laser beams sounded like people doing their impressions of Star Wars sound effects. Not only that, but this film didn't have an original thought from start to finish. Even the cuts from scene to scene were Lucas style, which he took from Kurosawa. I don't think a scene goes by that you can't make fun of.

But does that make it worth the price of a rental? Depends on what you're looking for. As far as Donny goes, this was nowhere near as awesome as Operation Cobra. Everything that made that great, this movie lacked. Katee Sackoff is kind of naked, so the fanboys will probably like that. It had a couple of gross scenes, most notably when Bokeem Woodbine dies, and Wilson takes this thing out of his eye. The eye looked like it was made out of some kind of rubbery material, and it was all gooey and nasty. Blah.



No matter what the cover or Sci-Fi tells you, this is a Don "The Dragon" Wilson film. Sackoff's in it for a fair amount, but not as much as Wilson, and I don't think she has any scenes without him. As a Wilson film, it was pretty rough. On imdb it's listed as his last film, and I hope that changes, because he needs at least one more to leave us on a good note. Wilson doesn't work as a military man, he works as a martial arts expert fighting his way out of impossible situations with only his wits and his hands and feet. The last fight scene with the droid was even kind of pedestrian. It was the director's homage to Kurosawa and samurai films, but really it just wasted Wilson.

I have friends who watch the new Battlestar Galactica, but for some reason it just doesn't work for me. Part of it is the lack of Dirk Benedict as Starbuck. I'm not complaining that Katee Sackoff shouldn't play Starbuck because she's a woman, I'm complaining that she isn't Benedict. For me that role is meant for only one person. I guess after this season they're done with the show, so I wonder what's next for her. Maybe she'll play Faceman on a remake of The A-Team that acts as a critique of the Bush Administration's War on Terror.



Jerry Trimble was listed as being in this, so I was excited when I watched it again to see what he did in it. He's actually only in it for one five minute scene. What a waste. He should've been the droid Wilson fought at the end of the movie. Steven Bauer from Scarface is also in the film for a grand total of one scene. What's the deal here? Don't these guys have better agents? At least Bokeem Woodbine was in it a little more.

This will show next Saturday at 3AM on Sci-Fi, so if you're up then doing whatever you'd be doing at that time, this is probably a good bet. Renting it is another story. I'd think even as a fanboy you'd be hard pressed to enjoy yourself. Sure, there's plenty to make fun of, but you can just as easily tape it and make fun of it with your friends and save yourself the money and the hassle of returning the rental.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758762/

The Breed (2001)

I bought this movie solely for the Adrian Paul factor. If I had a blog on syndicated action programs, Adrian Paul would be a first ballot hall of famer. In terms of the DTV market, he still has some work to do, and unfortunately movies like this don't help.

The Breed is a vampire flick that for some unknown reason seems to take place in the same world as Terry Gillium's Brazil. Adrian Paul plays a vampire detective, who's paired up with human cop Bokeem Woodbine to try and track a vampire serial killer. You may remember Bokeem from films like The Big Hit and Caught Up, which were essentially DTV movies, except someone made a mistake at the top, and tried to make money with these duds in movie theaters.

The Breed has the perfunctory vampire raves, but tries to meld them with this old Eastern European aesthetic. It's like Blade meets Werner Herzog. Also, Bai Ling is in it, and she wears a bunch of outfits that don't make any sense. There's a plot somewhere in there, and Bokeem and Adrian don't know who to trust. That leads to a shoot out on the docks and a lot of vampires flying around on cables. The director must've liked the effect in Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" video.

One thing I totally dug about this film was Bokeem Woodbine's lines. Early on he enters a room announcing "Come out with your hands raised" in the best voice ever. He tops this later when he says "I don't care" in this whiny, crying voice that is just fantastic.

That being said, there's a lot not to like. Adrian Paul's Eastern European accent. Bai Ling's outfits. The whodunit/conspiracy/who-do-you-trust plot. When I watch a DTV vampire flick, I'm not looking for Film Noir, I'm looking for either bad action or bad horror. Blade 2 is probably my standard for a good vampire flick, and I'm not too sure that that's too much to ask from any production.

Overall, I wouldn't spend any money on this. Even if you're a big Highlander: The Series guy like I am, it's not worth it. I spent $4.88 on it, and I'm not sure I got my money's worth. I showed it to my other DTV friends, and we laughed and made fun of it all right, but there was other stuff we'd rather have been doing that with. Like Blade 2. If you see it on your program guide, TiVo it only if you have enough room. I wouldn't erase any episodes of Laguna or Days for it, though.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0265104/

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