Shepherd Code: Lapierre (2026)

This is one Ty and I covered on the podcast, episode 269 in the archives, and with the names involved, and because we'd covered the other two films on here as well, I knew it needed a written review too. In addition to us, Chris the Brain at Bulletproof Action has also covered this.

Shepherd Code: Lapierre is a prequel to the previous two films, where we learn how our eponymous hero (Alan Delabie) came to be the guy we saw in those other two entries. After his wife divorces him (and he tells her "I'm disappointed in you" and "look at all I've done for you," because I guess he'd rather his wife be unhappy and stay married to him than file for divorce?) he gets a job from his boss, Don "The Dragon" Wilson, to keep a target safe, one Tania Edwards (Theresa Kassa from the first film), because Lapierre "knows how to handle women." Beyond the chauvinism in that, or that his wife just dumped him and his response was "look at all I've done for you," so maybe he can't "handle women," Lapierre takes the job, and proceeds to fall in love with Tania. Will the dancing and romantic dinners go to his head and prevent him from carrying out his mission?

This is a different movie from the first two, with less action and more drama. What does that mean for you the viewer? Exactly that. It's the opposite of the Elvis song that Dolph performed on a Swedish awards show, so if you're looking for a little less conversation and a little more action, this isn't the movie for you. There is an independent spirit aspect of this though that is worth supporting, an earnestness in what Delabie wanted to do here that I appreciated. To have a vision for a film, and despite limited resources have it completed it and available on places like Tubi where the whole world can see it is something to be applauded. And it isn't all conversation, we do get some fight scenes that look nice and have some inspired moments. On the other hand, the chauvinism should've been left on the cutting room floor. "You know how to handle women" is something out of 1966, not 2026, and something like that can make it harder to champion an indie effort. Overall though I think with this on Tubi and other free streamers here in the US, if you're looking to support independent filmmaking, this is worth a watch.

With an indie film like this, I think there needs to be a different calculus when evaluating it. For example, recently we looked at Kill 'Em All 2, and the question came up, "who was asking for this film?" Right? Did we need a sequel to Kill 'Em All? And the reason we ask that, is that movie is being distributed by Sony, which means they're expecting an audience to be there that will turn them a profit--and they were probably right, because Netflix picked it up. For this film, the "who was asking for this?" question is easier to answer, Alan Delabie asked for this. It was his vision, and he successfully got his vision on the screen and available for us to consume, which I think is fantastic. From there it's a matter of who the audience is, but I don't think we should create art with an audience in mind, we should let the audience find it. And to that end, the podcast episode on our YouTube channel had a comment from someone who really enjoyed this, even saying it was their favorite of the three. For me, I would've liked more action, but that's not the movie he made, and I think that's okay too, there's an audience out there for the vision he wanted to make, even if it didn't work for me, but I wouldn't want him to change his movie for me or anyone else.

We're on our fifth paragraph and only now getting to our film's Hall of Famer and 40 Club member, which gives you a sense of how much he's in the movie, but this is still Don "The Dragon" Wilson's 44th tag nonetheless. Six more movies to 50 could be tough based on how many we have left to do and ones currently in production, but maybe Delabie will make a few more Shepherd Code movies, and Cynthia Rothrock and Alexander Nevsky will make a few more Westerns, and he'll get there. Even if he doesn't get there, he's still one of the greatest to ever do it, and it's great to see him in anything, even it's a small part. Speaking of small parts, Eric Roberts and Patrick Kilpatrick each have one-scene cameos. One idea that Ty and I had to break up some of the monotony that we saw in the long stretches without action, was to have Lapierre call either Roberts or Kilpatrick from time to time, that way they don't need to shoot in additional locations, and can do their scenes at the same time they're doing their one scene with Delabie, but those calls can be spread organically throughout the movie for the audience to enjoy. Just a thought, but I think how a film uses its names when they can only afford them for a limited amount of shooting can really impact how the film comes across overall.

As many films nowadays are wont to do, we have our share of overhead drone establishing shots here, but one shot caught my attention. Before we see our hero in a workout montage showing off his skills, we get an overhead establishing shot of the MMA gym he's going to be working out in, and the roof is covered in solar panels. The gym is Shocx MMA training center, I believe in Brussels, so if you're in the Brussels area and need to practice your grappling or boxing, you can go there and know that they're using sustainable energy to keep the lights on. It's probably no surprise to you that I'm not much of a gym guy, but I do walk a lot, which also helps the environment, so I'm trying to do my part too. We all do what we can, but here's to you Shocx MMA for going the extra mile.

Finally, look at that gem. I think it's a Birmingham Barons hat, which is the AA affiliate of the Chicago White Sox. They're most famous for being the team Michael Jordan played for during his retirement from basketball in the mid-90s, which, when the Major League Baseball players lockout happened in 1994, their games were aired on ESPN to make up for the lack of Major League games. As you know from any amount of time reading this site, I'm a huge baseball fan, and among my baseball bucket lists, one is seeing a game in every US state that has a professional team. Right now I have 12 plus DC, so I have a long way to go, and Alabama is a state I've never even been to before, let alone see a baseball game, so it's a trip I have to make at some point. Who knows, Major League Baseball is facing another potential lockout for the 2027 season, and if that happens, Minor League Baseball like the Barons will be my only option, so next year might be the perfect time to make it happen, and if I do, I have this movie to thank for reminding me to go.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently get this on a whole host of screeners here in the States, including Tubi, which has the other two as well. The lack of action may turn action fans off, but if you're looking for something a bit different and you want to support indie film, this is a great way to go. Also, be sure to check out the podcast episode Ty and I did on this one, 269 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt36415829/

And check out my newest novel, Mark in Sales, on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

The Shepherd Code: The Road Back (2025)

This is one that I got a screener for from the publicity company hired to get the word out, and having spoken with the star, director, and writer Alan Delabie after the first film, I was excited to make this one happen, especially when he told me this had more Don "The Dragon" Wilson, plus he got Shaina West. In addition to our review, Ty and I discussed this on the pod in episode 237.

Shepherd Code: Road Back picks up where the first one left off. Alex Lapierre (Delabie) is trying to move on and retire in Portugal. But as much as he's trying to get out, his old life keeps pulling him back in. First his mentor Lewis (Wilson) is kidnapped by evil, once thought dead former rival Dumont (Michael McKell). As Lapierre and his buddy Matt (Michael Morris, who also co-wrote and co-directed), try to track down Dumont, Dumont's hatchetman Sanders (Mark Strange) is out there killing anyone connected with Lapierre, making the situation that much direr. Fortunately he's not alone, as Matt has hooked him up with old pal Jessica (West), and with her skills, she can help Lapierre in his final showdown with Dumont and Sanders. Will he be victorious?

This one improved on the first one, and gave us a more polished film overall. Also the strength of the previous one, the fights, is even better here, especially with the talented names Delabie was able to add. Where we run into a problem is we don't get as many fight scenes as we'd want, and Delabie said that had to do with budgetary restraints, which I understand. On the other hand, what does that mean if you're going in expecting a lot of fight scenes and action scenes, and you have more dramatic scenes, how are you going to feel about that? For me, I think the decider is the fact that this is an indie film, and the people involved, Delabie and company, aren't just putting something out with some names on the tin that they hope will get some streams, they're really trying to make the best movie they can, and I not only respect that, that's filmmaking I want to support. And in the process of that support, we get some really inspired fight scenes, which is great to see as well.

As always, we need to start with our 40 Club member, Don "The Dragon" Wilson. This is 43 on the site for him, and he's in this more than the first film, which was good, including a boxing sparring scene that was a fun moment as a fan of his work. I was looking at his bio, and of the films that have actually been released, we've reviewed each of the last six, and then in between the earliest of those, Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece and Diamond Cartel and Scorpion King IV, the two he made in 2015, the year he came back from hiatus, there are about six movies that look like they were actually released that could potentially be reviewed, plus a couple before Bloodfist, which all total will get us to 50 for him. Whether we get to them all or not, no matter what, Wilson is one of the greatest to do it, and it was great to see him here in the role he had. He's slated to be in the next film in this series, which will be a prequel, and looks like a lot of fun, so I can't wait to see him there too.

Going from the old school to the new school, we have one of the top rising stars in the action/martial arts world, Shaina West. I'd seen her before this in Jade, which Ty and I covered on episode 232 of the pod, and even though I wasn't a fan of the editorial choices that were taken in the end product, with all the long takes and faux grindhouse-y things, I thought she was great in it, and couldn't wait to see what she did next. Here she comes in toward the end, and has one really great fight scene, which just furthers that desire to see her in more stuff. She has two other films out, one is The Last Gunfight, which is on Paramount+, and the other is The Killer's Game, which is currently in Starz Purgatory, so I may not be able to see it for a while. What her part in this film showed me is she needs a big moment with an Isaac Florentine, Jesse V. Johnson, or James Nunn. And I don't mean co-starring with a Scott Adkins either, center the thing around her. 90 minutes of her taking down a bunch of stunt performers. Former special forces or whatever, I don't care, just put her on a revenge trail and set the whole thing on fire. No more "who's the next big action star," we found her, it's time to start making the movies.

The star of this film, Alan Delabie, is no slouch when it comes to martial arts either, and while he gives the spotlight to his co-stars, in particular West and Mark Strange, he was able to show his stuff plenty as well. I'm excited to see what he has in store for us with the next installment of this franchise. He said it'll be more drama, but if we get a few nice fights here and there I'll be happy. You may have noticed that we tagged Mark Strange as well. We've seen him before, in Avengement, one of the best DTV films of the last 20 years or so. Here he only gets a fight scene or two more than West, but like West, they were fantastic. In particular, his one against Wayne Gordon where he whips his long coat around before he fights, was next level. Add him to the list of names we want to see more of. A couple other names to round things out, we had Lee Arenberg, who played Mike Moffitt in a couple Seinfeld episodes--among other things, but that's what I'll always remember him from; and Louis DeStefano, who shows up in a lot of Cinema Epoch/CineRidge Entertainment films, some of which we've covered here on the site, so it was cool to see him here too. Also, I didn't forget Natasha Killip, Rachel the Waitress from the previous film, and one of my favorite characters in that one. It was great to see her get a cameo in the sequel.

Finally, I wanted to get back to what Alan told me about how he needed to be heavier on the drama aspect than the action because the budget required it. In other cases, it's not a question of the budget, instead the filmmaker relies on more drama because that's the film they want to make. In either case, it gets back to a question that I've always been interested in: do you make art for your audience, or make it for yourself, or even for no audience at all, including yourself? There was an author who said in an interview that you should never write for an audience--even yourself--because that's not the point of creative writing. He said the electric company writes for an audience--if they send you a letter warning you about possible scams, their customer is the audience, and they have a specific purpose in their communication. Creative writing, he said, shouldn't have that same purpose. I can't find the article or remember the name of the author, but it is how I approach writing. For example, the trend now is for short chapters, that that's what audiences want, while my novel Don't House in the Mountains is over 150,000 words and has five chapters. Can the same thing be applied to movies? The audience is expecting a lot of action, and whether it's not there due to budgetary reasons, or the filmmakers wanted to focus on the story, is that okay? I don't have the answer, but for me, if you're earnest enough in what you're doing, and you're putting out good work, the audience should come to you.

And with that, let's wrap this up. You can currently get this on Tubi here in the States, or rent it on Amazon for $2.99. Either way, I think supporting indie creatives is a positive, and something worth doing, and in the process you get to see some really inspired fight scenes. Also, if you haven't yet, check out the podcast episode Ty and I did on this one, 237 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32915549

And check out my newest novel, Mark in Sales, on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Taken from Rio Bravo (2024)

This is one Ty and I covered on a podcast episode, episode 210 in the archives, part of our Xumo double feature with 12 to Midnight, and with all the names involved, it was only a matter of time before we reviewed it on the site too, so here we are. In addition to us, Chris the Brain at Bulletproof Action has covered this as well.

Taken from Rio Bravo is a sequel to Gunfight at Rio Bravo, with Alexander Nevsky reprising his role as a fictionalized version of Union Army officer Ivan Turchin. This time, some young women have been taken by dastardly traffickers (led by Dolph movie mainstay James Chalke), and it's up to Nevsky and his sheriff friend (Joe Cornet, who also directed) to track them down and rescue them. Along the way, they get some help from a Native American tracker (Don "the Dragon" Wilson), and they encounter all manner of ne'er-do-wells who impede their progress. Finally, as they near the young women and are about to achieve their goal, an old foe enters the fray. Who could that be? I mean, if you read the cast list, you probably know, but still, pretend you didn't so you can be surprised. Will Nevsky and Cornet prevail?

When you do this kind of thing long enough, you find yourself saying things you never thought you'd say, but here I am saying this movie needed more Nevsky! Usually I'm railing against what I call a "Nevsky vanity project," but here he's really realized his version of Ivan Turchin, and when you have a fun gunslinger hero like that in a Western, you want more of them! What happens though is this gets too bogged down in the particulars of trafficking, which also gives us more Chalke than we needed. One scene that stood out involved Chalke wanting to take one of the women he trafficked back to a cabin to have his way with her. It went on too long, and ultimately didn't go anywhere, and while this is happening, we're missing an opportunity for Nevsky to take out more men in a saloon or something. All that said, I think this is the closest Nevsky's come to making this approach work, where he's the star and he casts a bunch of other stars in smaller supporting roles, and I think the Western and the use of his version of Ivan Turchin as the hero is a great formula for him. The runtime is also great at 80 minutes, so he keeps it lean, which always helps. Now he just needs to swing the pendulum back a bit in the other direction and include more of himself as that hero, and I think he'll have it.

Art Camacho is now at 56 tags on the DTVC, which used to be good enough for third all-time, but since we've tagged Cole S. McKay, it's now fourth-best. Either way, Camacho brings his talents as fight choreographer to this, elevating fight scenes and giving the film a sharper feel than its budget would normally allow, which is why you bring him in in the first place, but it's still always great to see. He also has a scene as a character named Camanchero who has a fight with Nevsky, which we don't see often, he's usually behind the camera, so I had to get a screen of that. Between all the PM stuff of his that we still need to get to, and the new stuff he has coming out that looks promising, 60 Club and beyond is more a matter of when than if. One of the greatest to ever do it, and he gives us that here.

We have three other Hall of Famers here who, in true Nevsky style, only have small roles, but they're fun to see, and it gets them more tags. First off, this makes 47 for Cynthia Rothrock, so we're closing in on the 50 Club for her, and with all she has out now, three more movies should be easy enough to make happen, except when you dig deeper, you see stuff that is either only available to rent, or isn't available at all, so unless that changes, it could be a while for her. In this movie, she has a small part as the older sister of the two women that get kidnapped, including one small fight scene which was pretty good. Then for Don "The Dragon" Wilson, this is 42, so still a ways from 50, but unlike Rothrock, he does have a few that we haven't done yet on free streamers, so we'll need to make those happen. Here he plays a Native American, which didn't make any sense, except they could've used the fact that Wilson isn't genetically of Native American descent as an opportunity to show that "blood" shouldn't exactly be the determiner of being part of a first nation, the same way that someone can become American without having been born here. Finally, we have Matthias Hues reprising his baddie from the first film. Unlike Rothrock and Wilson who are in the 40 Club, this is only 22 tags for Hues. I think a big reason for why that is, is I don't necessarily seek out Hues movies, he just happens to be in the ones with people I do seek out. But considering how much he does, I imagine we'll stumble into another 8 movies of his at some point along the way.

Like the previous installment, this took place in "Eastern Texas," despite being shot in Arizona, which doesn't look anything like "Eastern Texas." From there, they're supposed to be going to the Mexican border, because apparently even in the Old West, middle class conservative trafficking panic was about middle class white women being kidnapped and taken to Mexico--though Nevsky didn't go far enough and have one of the women find a water bottle on her car, which I guess showed some restraint. Anyway, the other thing is East Texas is much further away from the Mexican border than West Texas. As I said when I reviewed the previous one, why not just set the movies in West Texas? What is it about "Eastern Texas" that it needs to be there, despite it being shot in Arizona? But then another thought hits me: why does it matter? I'm watching a 2024 Western where Don "The Dragon" Wilson is playing a 60s stereotype of a Native American, harkening back to when movies would have Italians do that, and I'm concerned about the location accuracy? But that's the kind of content you've been coming to the DTVC for since 2007, right?

Finally, in looking at these Nevsky vanity projects, where he gets all these stars and they all have smaller parts, the question then is, "Matt, what would you do if you could get names like Rothrock, Wilson, Hues, or Gruner in a movie?" Yes, I would definitely want them to be in it more, even if they only have a day or two of shooting. And then I have a top five for what my one scene would be, because I would definitely not try to make myself the star. Number 5 would be the standard henchman machine gun shimmy death. Get me in a blazer, maybe put on a ponytail wig, and cut to me shimmying to death while one of the names I mentioned above is hosing me down in Uzi fire. Number 4 would be the knife throw, preferably between the eyes, but if I gotta take it in the chest, that's fine too. I could be lurking around, holding my gun, and then one of the heroes lets fly, and in the next cut I'm falling over with the knife in me. For number 3, it's gotta be taking a Wilson roundhouse kick to the face. With it being a Western, if I fall into a trough of water, all the better. And if you're thinking "Wilson can't get up that high anymore," I'm only 5'7", so it won't be as difficult. Number 2, taking a scorpion kick to the head by Rothrock. This time I wonder, with me being only 5'7" if that makes it harder, because my head is a lower target than some of the taller guys she does that to. Finally, number 1, me as a front desk security guard, Matthias Hues takes me out, preferably with a silencer. Might be difficult to pull of in a Western, but if I'm giving you a movie with more of the stars you want, I think you'll indulge me.

And with that, let's wrap this up. In addition to Xumo, it looks like this is available on more free streamers, including Tubi and Prime. I think with the names and runtime, it's not a horrible watch if you're not paying or it's included in your streaming package. Also check out the podcast episode Ty and I did on this, episode 210 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt20202928/

Pick up my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Black Creek (2024)

This is one that's been in production for some time, a labor of love for DTVC Hall of Famer and 40 Club member Cynthia Rothrock, we've seen myriad DTV stars attached to it who have dropped out, news of premiers and complementary media like a graphic novel, and finally a pre-order date ahead of it's recent release. Now that it's here and available, let's see how it did. In addition to us, Jon at the After Movie Diner and Chris DePetrillo at Bulletproof Action have covered this as well.

Black Creek starts with a sheriff (Patrick Kilpatrick) who gets bumped off by an evil landowner (Richard Norton). When the sheriff's sister (Rothrock) shows up and finds out her brother's been killed, she vows revenge. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but Norton's got a lot of men working for him, who in turn work Rothrock over and leave her for dead in the desert. Luckily, bumbling local drinker Roy (R. Marcus Taylor) finds her and brings her to a local medicine practitioner (Don "The Dragon" Wilson), who heals her in a wonderfully psychedelic sequence. With that out of the way and everyone sufficiently healed, it's time for our hero to get after it and get her revenge. Will she make it happen?

This is a fun deal. It's done on a budget, so there's plenty to pick at on that score if one were so inclined, but if it was between not having this because there wasn't the budget to make it look as clean as possible, or having what we got, I prefer the latter. My two qualms were the length, which at almost two hours was a bit long for me; and I think the script could've used some trimming--a lot of instances where someone says something, and someone asks why that is, and then the first person explains further, when we could've just had the further explanation without the back and forth. Those qualms are overshadowed by all the stuff that worked here though, like Rothrock as one of her best heroes since China O'Brien, Richard Norton as a chilling baddie in one of his final performances, and then guys like Wilson, Kilpatrick, and Keith Cooke giving us the fun performances we want from them when we see their names on the tin. It doesn't skimp on the action either, especially with Mike Möller as action director/fight choreographer. Again, budgetary constraints meant they couldn't do the quick edits we're used to in modern action, so instead we got sped up film that may not have looked as nice, but as a fan of everyone's work here, I was okay with it. This is a really great time that's worth supporting if you're a fan of Rothrock and everyone else involved.

I didn't mean to do Rothrock films on back-to-back weeks (and technically this is her third film in two months, with Darkness of Man back in May), but I felt like I needed to get this one reviewed sooner rather than later, if only to get the word out and support it. The reality for me as I was watching it was we needed a series of Westerns with Rothrock in the lead back in the 90s, and this should've been the callback to those movies thirty years later, but unfortunately we never got them in the 90s, so this has to be the movie that makes up for the movies that never were, if any of that makes sense. On the PM Podcast episode on Guardian Angel (which yours truly was also a guest, but not part of the Rothrock interview), she told Jon that she'd always wanted to do a Western and be the lead, and it shows, because she's a natural at it. Her Rose Jennings character in this is right up there with China O'Brien for me as her best character, even better than Kris Fairfield in the Rage and Honor films, and McKay in Guardian Angel. She also said on the PM Podcast interview that she plans to do a sequel, so hopefully that will happen. I think it's up to us to support this kind of thing though if we want to see it happen.

As I mentioned above, Richard Norton is fantastic in this. It unfortunately ended up being one of his final roles, but if it had to be, I think it's a nice thing that it was in this, making it as good as it could possibly be by his performance. In my Not Another Mistake post, I talked about how he knew exactly what a movie needed from him and he knew exactly how to deliver it, and that's so true here. Patrick Kilpatrick also would've made a great baddie, but I like the twist of him being one of the good guys; and then we have Norton giving us this fantastic villain who is sufficiently evil, but never takes away from Rothrock as the hero. We're going to miss him, but at least we have this performance here as a reminder of how great he was--as if we needed it.

Our third Hall of Famer and second 40 Club member in this is the great Don "The Dragon" Wilson, who plays Xiyang, part-Chinese part-Apache medicine and martial arts practitioner. I wish they would've done more with the Apache side if they felt it was that necessary to include that as part of his heritage, like maybe some advanced knife fighting through a sequence where he takes out three or four of Norton's baddies. That aside, Wilson is as all in as Norton was, which is nice considering, like Rothrock, we've been getting a lot of smaller roles from him lately. And after this, we have Taken from Rio Bravo, where he has almost as big a part as this, but beyond that, I think the rest we have of his to do are all small roles. In that sense, when we get a Dragon role and performance like this, we need to take it and run.

Finally, I want to touch on the length of this movie, because, as you know, I'm a stickler for runtimes. Recently in a writer's group I'm in, the topic came up that, if we want our books to sell, we need short chapters. For me, I don't think about my novels that way. If short chapters fit, I'll use them, like in my first novel Chad in Accounting, or my short action novel Bainbridge; if not, you get something like Don's House in the Mountains, which is five chapters over 275 pages. With that in mind, if Rothrock felt like she needed her movie to be almost two hours to tell the story she wanted to tell, then more power to her. If the mindset is similar to mine, where she didn't want to compromise on the story that was important to her just to get things in under 90 minutes, I can appreciate it.

And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently this is available as rent VOD and purchase on most major streaming sites that offer that kind of thing. I personally got it on Fandango at Home through a promo code I had. This is a great opportunity to support indie filmmakers, and hopefully the more we're able to support these efforts, the more movies they'll be able to make.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27078378

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Diamond Cartel (2015)

This is it, post number 1300! Not only that, but Mr. Don "The Dragon" Wilson becomes the eighth member of the 40 Club, and the fourth member to reach the club primarily as an actor. In trying to find the right film, I went with this star-studded bonkersfest from Kazakhstan, which has also been covered by Ty and Brett from Comeuppance--who have been telling me I needed to do this one for some time, so good to finally make it happen!

Diamond Cartel involves a deal between (I think) crime boss Armand Assante and (maybe) crime boss Michael Madsen, that's been brokered by Don "the Dragon" Wilson. As happens with most deals at the beginnings of movies, this deal goes bad, in this case because of an ambush. Among those ambushers is young lady Aliya (Karlygash Mukhamedzhanova), who takes the money and tries to run off with her boyfriend. Now we don't know who to trust. Assante wants his money. Rival crime boss Cary Tagawa wants Assante's money. Wilson wants Assante to pay him. And then when things can't get any wackier, our young couple get to the coast to get a boat out of dodge, and none other than Peter O'Toole is there to help them escape.

Where do we start with this one? We got a dubbed Wilson, a dubbed Olivier Gruner, and a dubbed Peter O'Toole. The plot is all over the place--I made it look pretty straight forward, but, like the Aliya character is a dealer at Assante's casino, and he sets her up so she owes him a lot of money, but instead of being under his thumb, a guy she grew up with gets her stuck in with Tagawa's gang so she can be trained as a sniper. I'm sorry, what? And when she tells the boyfriend this after they're reunited, he's angry with her about it? Later when she thinks he's agreed to give Assante all the money so he leaves them alone, she shoots him. Luckily he doesn't die? This is like a modern companion to White Fire, it's that bonkers, and features a big diamond too. Plus the names are prodigious. In addition to the ones I've mentioned, we also had Tom "Tiny" Lister and Bolo Yeung, because why wouldn't we? (More on Bolo Yeung later.) Is the action good? I don't know, I don't know that value judgements like "good" or "bad" make sense with something like this, you just go with it, buy the ticket, take the ride, and wake up in Astana--just make sure to check that both of your kidneys are intact!

The 40 Club for Mr. Wilson, one of the best to ever do it; and a very circuitous route to get here, as he's one of the few to ever have tags removed because films that IMDb said he was in, like Siege of Firebase Gloria, we later found out he wasn't. But we're here now, we've made it, and for as bonkers as this film is, including the dubbed voice, it might be a fitting film for his 40 Club entry because he's here strictly due to the name he's created for himself all these years. As a kid, when I was first learning what DTV movies were, he was one of the first names I gravitated to, you knew if his face and name were on the tin, that you were in for a great time. At this point he does more supporting roles like this than he does starring roles, which I'm okay with considering how many great films he's given us. The 40 Club has been a long time coming, but we got there, and there isn't a DTV star who's more deserving.

Among the many other names in this, the star is Karlygash Mukhamedzhanova, who plays Aliya. The problem is, between all the name actors that needed screentime, and the story that seems to be shoehorning all kinds of stuff in, we lose her as the lead for chunks of time. She's also the narrator--at least we think, or her narration could be dubbed too. The thing is, the left-turn-ski stuff we get with her character, when she's telling her boyfriend how she was missing for two years because she had to escape Armand Assante by becoming an assassin for Cary Tagawa, it's not as ridiculous as White Fire's "give a woman at a bar plastic surgery so she looks like Ginty's sister, and then Ginty has sex with her" storyline, but it's ridiculous enough, and I don't know how you sell that, but she does her darndest. I saw on IMDb that she did another Kazakhstan action production, this time starring Vinnie Jones, but no one else with him. Michael Madsen must've been too busy I guess, but based on this performance, there are a lot of direct to video movies here in the States that could use her, so perhaps this won't be the last time we see her.

This film has two other Hall of Famers, Bolo Yeung and Olivier Gruner, the 11th and 25th tag for each respectively. Again, more on Yeung in a second, but the fact that Gruner is only 5 away from the 30 Club is a big deal. And as bonkers as this movie is, check out screenwriter Richard Pierce's appearances on the Comeuppance podcast to hear some great stories about making Sector 4: Extraction with him. To round out everyone else, Madsen is now at 15 films, Armand Assante is at 7--which I couldn't believe we'd done that many of his films!--, Cary Tagawa is at 14, and Tom "Tiny" Lister is at 8 films. And then, craziest of crazy, we have one tag now for Peter O'Toole, right? Actually, I forgot that I also reviewed Supergirl during my DTVC Wild Card series look at comic book films. In 2019 my friend and I saw Lawrence of Arabia in the theater, and now I'm seeing him here, dubbed by someone who may or may not have had a stroke, in what ended up being his final film performance. It's always amazing who we end up finding in the world of DTV.

As if this film couldn't get anymore bonkers, according to the IMDb trivia, Bolo Yeung requested that a cat be present in his fight scene near the end of the film, as a tribute to Bruce Lee and his fight with Chuck Norris in The Way of the Dragon, which also has a cat onlooker. I believe this one was CGI, which, as you may know if you've been on here enough, I'm fully in favor of CGI animals being used in films. Cats want to relax, run around and chase things, and eat, possibly with some head scritches and pets mixed in. As much as I'd enjoy a nice Bolo Yeung fight, for a cat, it's really not all that important, and I respect that and think we all should as well. I do think though if you're going to go CGI cat, why not go full Sebastian from Josie and the Pussycats, right? Maybe have him laugh at them, or put a fishbowl on his head and go snorkeling. Just a thought, but even as simply an onlooker, cats always add value to any film they're in. Why more DTV filmmakers don't add them, especially CGI ones, is beyond me. It's easy points with me. Two simple rules to get you a recommendation: stay under 90 minutes, and add cats.

I figured we'd do a bonus paragraph for Mr. Wilson on getting to the 40 Club, and on us getting to 1300 posts. When I started this site in 2007, I never thought I'd be here 18 years later still plugging away at it, or that the posts would still be getting the kind of readership and reception they still do, especially with me taking a four-year hiatus in the middle. After all the people I've met along the way, the next best thing has been to go through so many films from stars like Don "The Dragon" Wilson, who I love. Some I'd seen before I started the site, like some of the Bloodfist films, but many were things I'd never heard of; and if it wasn't for Wilson, I probably wouldn't be reviewing this gem, but here we are, and I'm still enjoying it. So here's to you Mr. Wilson on making it to the 40 Club; and here's to you, everyone who's still with us after all these years. I wouldn't have kept the train moving--or gotten it back on the tracks in 2019--if it wasn't for the support and readership, so thank you very much for that, it means the world, and hopefully we're all still here for the next 1300 posts!

And with that, let's wrap this up. Right now this is on Fawesome here in the States, after sitting in my Tubi queue for about five years then getting removed by them. You never know when a film like this will get bounced, but luckily the name recognition tends to keep it on at least one of the free streamers.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2538778

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Magic Kid (1993)

I knew I needed to get more PM on the site, and I also knew I was two movies away from getting Don "The Dragon" into the 40 Club, so I figured this wouldn't be a bad one to cover. Luckily it was on YouTube, because what Pluto lists as this one, is actually the sequel. In addition to us, Chris DePetrillo at Bulletproof has covered this as well.

Magic Kid has Ted Jan Roberts as a 13-year-old martial arts prodigy from Michigan who, with his sister (Shonda Whipple), goes to LA to stay with their uncle (Stephen Furst) and his girlfriend (Sandra Kerns) when their parents (Lauren Tewes and Chris Mitchum) need to get rid of them for a few weeks. Turns out Uncle Flounder's an alcoholic inveterate gambler who's into mob boss Joe Campanella for 10 large, but when they come to collect, Roberts beats the crap out of them. Now the mob is out for blood, so upstanding Uncle Flounder has them running around LA while he figures out what to do, subjecting Roberts's 15-year-old sister to all kinds of adult males hitting on her, and needing Roberts to get them out of various jams. Who knows, maybe The Dragon can help?

This is as ridiculous as it sounds, but has this nice amount of PM that gets it over the goal line. Maybe not as many explosions or car flips, but plenty of fight scenes, where Roberts takes all manner of stunt guys and kicks, punches, and throws them into bodies of water, through panes of glass, and over balconies--and among those stunt guys we have Red Horton and Broadway Joe Murphy, the stunt coordinating team responsible for PM classics Zero Tolerance and T-Force, so it was nice to see Roberts throw them into pools or off balconies too. We also had Art Camacho as not only fight choreographer, but he played Roberts's sensei and hosted the tournament in "Michigan" that led the movie. There were some odd parts about the film, like how it was normalized that adult men were hitting on a 15-year-old girl, or how much of a degenerate Furst's character was despite being responsible for a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old, but when you see that PM logo, and see Wilson appearing as a version of himself, combined with Roberts as a fun hero, it just kinda works.

We're officially at 39 films for Wilson on the site. I say "officially" because we'd had to remove a couple tags due to some erroneous IMDb credits that have since disappeared. Part of the reason why he's taken a little longer than other DTV stars to hit that mark, is, like myself, he went on a bit of a hiatus, only the end of his in 2015 happened to coincide with the start of mine. Even as we're catching up, none of those newer ones other than New York Ninja really feature him in the lead the way his 90s stuff did, and while this movie only has him in a small part in the beginning--appearing in Roberts's dream no less--a smaller part in the middle, and then a nice fight sequence with Roberts at the end, it's more what his character represents here, that 90s action star that we all loved watching, and whose stuff from that time is still iconic. For all of us, he'll always be "The Dragon," and it was great to see him as "The Dragon" in this.

This is our third Ted Jan Roberts film on the site, after Hollywood Safari (which also has Wilson, and at that time was the last of his known DTV films that I had to review) and A Dangerous Place, so out of his six PM flicks, we're half-way through. It's interesting how PM tried to split the difference with him here. They had a young, martial arts prodigy, and at the same time there was this spate of martial arts films directed at kids, so they must've thought the mix was gold, the only problem was, PM weren't great alchemists. They tried to make Roberts the hero in a kids movie, but they didn't know how to pull it off tonally. For example, I mentioned adult males hitting on Shonda Whipple's character, who, even though in real life she was 19--which was weird enough for guys in their 30s to be hitting on her--was supposed to be 15. In one scene a bunch of surfers on Santa Monica Pier are hitting on her, and Sandra Kerns says "guys, the lady said no." What? "The lady said no"? The lady is 15! How about that be the reason they need to back off? There's another scene where Uncle Flounder has the kids sleeping on the beach to avoid the mob. And he even had the audacity to expect them to share a sleeping bag while he had his own. They refuse to let him get away with that at least, and force him to sleep without a sleeping bag, but still, it was a rough deal. And just the whole premise, a man who's almost 40 expecting a 13-year-old to beat up adult mob bosses that are after him for betting money he didn't have. I don't know that they got much better at this by 1997's Hollywood Safari either, but I think it's fascinating just the same that they were trying it.

Speaking of the 40 Club, we had two other members in this film, PM Entertainment in their 45th film on the site, and Art Camacho in his 54th. Also, this was directed by Joseph Merhi, the 13th film he's directed on the site, moving him into a four-way tie for third most among directors. What was interesting though were the other stars. Lauren Tewes as the mother was great. What a great get to have Julie, our cruise director, in a PM flick! Also I see that she was born in Braddock, PA, which is where John Fetterman was mayor, someone who is now known for one of the great heel-turns in politics. And then we had Stephen Furst, aka Flounder from Animal House, as the uncle. He does his best here, but because things were so tonally all over the place, it was a tough sled. Despite that, he came back to direct the sequel one year later. Finally, for Charles in Charge fans, we had Sandra Kerns, who never made another film after this, instead focusing on raising her kids in Pacific Pallisades. I guess if this was it for her acting career, this isn't a horrible way to go out.

Finally, we usually dedicate this paragraph to something silly or offbeat about me personally, but considering this film was shot in LA, I think it's important to mention the wildfires and the people affected--including potentially Sandra Kerns, if she and her family still live in Pacific Pallisades, we hope they're all okay. We watch so many films, especially from the 90s, that were shot in LA, it's a part of the world that for decades has invited us into the space where they live for our entertainment, but times like these remind us that people make their homes there, and like any of us, take for granted that that home will always be there. Our hearts go out to everyone affected by these fires, and hope everyone is okay. And God forbid you do need to evacuate, for God's sake, leave your keys in your car in case Steven Guttenberg needs to move it. For people reading who want to help, this CNBC article shows you charities that have been vetted, and how to spot scams: https://www.cnbc.com/2025/01/09/california-wildfire-relief-where-to-give.html

And with that, let's wrap this up. YouTube is your best bet right now, unless you can find a cheap DVD or VHS. This is more for PM or Don "The Dragon" Completists, of which I'm a card-carrying member of both, and if you are too, or either just one or the other, this will get you to the church on time.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107482

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

The Shepherd Code (2024)

This is one Ty and I covered on an episode of the podcast, number 167 in the archives. We wanted to get some Don "The Dragon" Wilson on the pod, so when we saw this was on Tubi, we gave it a shot, despite thinking "The Drags" may not be in it much. Let's see how it did.

The Shepherd Code has Alan Delabie (who also wrote, co-directed, produced, and action directed) as a guy who's known as the best in the elite bodyguarding world. That is, until he falls for the woman he's guarding, and she ends up dead! As he tracks down the killer, a jerkoff named Edson (Silvio Simac), his handler, Don "The Dragon" Wilson, has another job for him. But he's retired? Just one more job. So he takes it, shepherding a rich girl (Victoria Axensalva) through the UK, and as luck would have it, Edson is the jerkoff who wants to kill this girl too, so Delabie can protect her and get his revenge all in one go. It's really convenient, like steam-in-bag veggies.

What do you want me to say about this one? It's close to being one of those Samurai Cop/Miami Connection kind of deals, but considering the earnestness with which Delabie tries to pull this off, it's kind of endearing. The Wilson is scant, and that may be the thing that hurts it the most, but who knows how much time they got him for. I think the thing that both hurts it, and makes it fun in a Samurai Cop kind of way, is the holes in the plot. Like near the end Delabie and Axensalva are walking in the woods to meet the baddie, and she stops to tie her shoe, and he just keeps walking, leaving her behind, which causes him to lose her and the baddies to find her. How is the best bodyguard in the world that oblivious to where the person he's guarding is? It's like a parent in the 80s forgetting their kid at Chuck E. Cheese's. There's something so Continental European guy who's totally full of himself and doesn't care about anyone else about it. But again, does that kind of thing make it worse or better? It depends on your outlook, but if you're up for it, it is only 79 minutes long.

It's been almost 2 years since we last saw Don "The Dragon" Wilson on the site, and that review was another with scant Wilson, Scorpion King IV. I was looking at his bio on IMDb, and there is a bunch of stuff he has out now that I can do, like Diamond Cartel, which Ty has told me I need to watch, and Hitman Agency, which are both on Tubi. He's an interesting one, because he was at 39 movies, but we discovered IMDb had added films to his filmography that he wasn't actually in, like The Siege of Firebase Gloria, which meant he ended up losing tags. Now we have him at 38 films, so he's within striking distance again. We're also close to our 1300th post, so I figured we'd tie the two together to make it into a Wilson celebration. Who better to celebrate than one of the all-time greats? He's the reason Ty and I watched this, and he'll be the reason I do the sequel that's listed on IMDb. With guys this great, you gotta watch them all, and I've got some catching up to do.

Our hero of this passion piece/vanity project is Alan Delabie. If you go on his IMDb page, he has a series of fake magazine covers saying he's the best dressed man in the world. Let's not get carried away here, Alan. For me, I think Delabie would be great in a film helmed by Wilson as a member of his team. Give him a couple nice fight scenes, establish he's a dependable member of Wilson's crew, and maybe wrap with a death where he gets shot or stabbed--or both--and Wilson lifts his head off the ground and says "don't die on me man!" to which Delabie chokes out "finish the job!" then croaks. Maybe Wilson gets a little misty-eyed, but then nods, sets his head down, and moves onto the next scene. Could Delabie do that? Maybe direct and action direct some films where Wilson is the lead and he's a supporting character? I doubt it, so we'll see what the sequel to this looks like--at the very least, hopefully his best bodyguard in the world character will learn to pay attention when the person he's being paid to guard is tying their shoe!

In all these movies, I find someone with a smaller role to root for, and in this case it was "Rachel the Waitress" played by Natasha Killip. This poor young woman works as a server in a local cafe that looks more like a rec center, and is stuck dating a jerk who is so bad, she finds herself hitting on Delabie and complementing him on his jacket, which causes said boyfriend to crack foxy with Delabie, and get his ass kicked for his troubles. Later, when a bigger jerkoff, Edson, arrives, her jerkoff boyfriend can't help himself, and Edson kills that ass. Just trying to make it as a server in a cafe, she doesn't need all that BS, but maybe Edson did her a favor. I saw on IMDb that a sequel to this is coming, and Rachel the Waitress is in it, which I think is great, but maybe Delabie could get with the times and call her "Rachel the Server." Just a thought, but here's to you Rachel the Waitress, you're one of the great ones.

Finally, in our never ending saga over streamers, this film is only free on Tubi, which most of the time is a great deal, but when I went to get images for the review, Tubi had rolled out new features that disabled others, namely the search bar and My List. Normally that's not a big deal, because I could find this somewhere else, but it's not on anything else for free. The way I managed to get the movie qqueues up on Tubi was by clicking the link through the Letterboxd page. For low-budget indie filmmakers out there, let this be another lesson: try to get your films on multiple streamers, because you don't know when the one your movie's on will be down. I guess we can score another one for physical media.

But by the same token, Tubi will be fixed eventually, and you can get this on there for free. This is a fun one in the Miami Connection vein, but also gets you that much closer to being a Wilson completists, and who doesn't want that? Apparently a lot of people, because it doesn't have a lot of Letterboxd reviews, and we're only the second IMDb critic review. Oh, and Ty has watched it as well, because he and I covered it on episode 167 in the archives.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27419829

And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

 

The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015)

I watched this I don't know how long ago on Tubi, but when I went to grab images for it, it was gone. Rather than rent it just to get images, I held off on this review, until finally our cable company had a free Starz week, and I was able to get it from there. Was it worth the wait? Well, it has Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Rutger Hauer, so two Hall of Famers helps. In addition to us, Bulletproof has covered this as well.

The Scorpion King 4 has Victor Webster back as our hero. While on a mission with a friend, said friend turns on him. That's because said friend is an evil prince in disguise who is looking to unleash a supreme ancient power. Our Scorpion King Friend (SKF from here forward) can't abide that, so it's quest time, and who better to go on a quest with than a fair blond rogue of a woman (Ellen Hollman), with whom our hero can have all kinds of screwball comedy will they or won't they romance. His Girl Friday this ain't, but after all manner of great cameos, will our hero stop this evil former friend and save the world?

This clocks in at a robust 105 minutes, and I had a hunch that would hurt, but with the robust cast, including two Hall of Famers, I knew I needed to review it for the site. I took one for the team, but definitely, that runtime comes complete with ample padding to harm your sensibilities. I don't really know why though? This is trodding the usual sword and sandal ground, so what was so important in there that they couldn't fit it all in in 80 minutes? And then with the cast, beyond Hauer and Wilson, we also had Michael Biehn, M. Emmet Walsh, Barry Bostwick, and Lou Ferrigno, plus a host of MMA fighters like Big Country Roy Nelson and the great Royce Graci, and WWE star Eva Torres. Yet none of those stars spent much time in the film, so they weren't able to help us over the slow parts as much as you'd hope. What about the action? Good action could've mitigated some of these issues too, but unfortunately that wasn't there either, despite us knowing how great Webster was from the Seagal film A Good Man, and Hollman was from Army of One. I think this had great intentions, but maybe those intentions got away from itself. Sometimes less is more.

We're at 39 movies for Don "The Dragon" Wilson, despite this one not having him in it much--or are we? Two films that were in his IMDb filmography, Siege of Firebase Gloria and Saigon Commandos are no longer listed, and I have him tagged for both. Does that mean he's at 37? Letterboxd also no longer lists those, so I guess I need to remove them too. So 37 for Don, which is also a first that anyone has ever lost tags before. Anyway, after Don did The Last Sentinel in 2007, he didn't do anything until he took a part in Lou Ferrigno's 2012 short film Liberator, and then this in 2015. 2015 squares with when I went on my unplanned hiatus, so at that time we thought we had all of Wilson's DTV films covered. Not only has he since done more films, but new ones appeared in his back filmography, and while some have been taken down from his IMDb, some still remain that need to be covered as well, so even losing the two, the 40 Club is only a matter of time for him. With Rothrock already in, I think it'll be fitting for him to be the fourth actor ever in. Had I not been on hiatus and saw this when it came out, this minuscule part of his would've been a disappointment after the hiatus he'd taken; but I'm watching it now in the 2020s, when he's back and working again, so it's really just adding another tag for him, which, if this film gets us nothing else, that's worth it.

Much further from the 40 Club, our other Hall of Famer is the late, great Rutger Hauer in his 19th film on the site. His role is only slightly bigger than Wilson's, but we've been used to these scant Hauer roles from the site's inception, so this was old hat for us--in fact I think "bait and switch" was originally the "Hauer bait and switch" with all the times he's on the cover but barely in the movie. He does have more starring roles in the past that would be good for the site, but a lot of times they close in on that 2-hour mark. Considering it's Hauer, I could probably suck it up. Watching this in 2015 we didn't know we only had 4 years left with Hauer, but he left an indelible legacy, and it will be good for us to go through the ones on the site that fit with what we do here. He made the Hall of Fame based on his reputation with those films, even if I hadn't covered them yet. Truly one of the best to do it, Mr. Hauer will be missed.

Another big name in this who we've had the pleasure of covering one time before, is M. Emmet Walsh. Roger Ebert's rule that any movie with Walsh in it can't be bad is seriously put to the test here. My relationship with him isn't as good as that, as I wasn't a fan of his character in the other film of his we've done here, Red Scorpion--which also means we seem to only do Walsh films with "scorpion" in the title--and even joked on the podcast episode we did on that film with Will from Exploding Helicopter that the scene where Brion James burns him with a cigar was an applause scene--and maybe the better one is in Critters when he's thrown out of a house. Could that be a new site, "M. Emmet Walsh Put Through the Ringer"? He's not really put through the ringer here though, at least not that I remember. It's a shame, the film probably could've used him getting tossed onto a full table of sword and sorcery spread with meats and fruits and goblets, it splitting in half under his bulbous weight, the spread collapsing on top of him, and then we cut back to him, disheveled with grapes in his hair and maybe a large leg of some poultry provenance that somehow made it into his hands in the commotion. He looks at it, shrugs his shoulder, then takes a bite and tosses it over his head. Either way, Mr. Walsh, you are one of the greats, and I kid because I love.

Finally, with this being another lackluster entry in the Scorpion King series, what would I do to fix it? First and foremost, there would be an 88 minute rule. Anything longer needs to go back to the editing room. Not only was this one over 100 minutes, but so are parts 2, 3, and Book of Souls. Okay, so we've made them shorter, now what? We need a hero with more personality, and maybe Webster can do it, but not with that hair and that beard, and he needs better material. If we're only rocking with him for 88 minutes though, maybe we don't need as much. We also need a stellar baddie, as the one we had here didn't cut it either. Maybe a Bruce Campbell? But Webster can't cut it with Campbell then, we'd have a Destro Effect. How about Michael Jai White? Just give him this franchise and let him get after it. Maybe have an installment directed by Jesse V. Johnson, and one by Isaac Florentine. Now the action is where it needs to be. If you've got names like those, think of the names they could add: Iko Uwais, Tony Jaa, Scott Adkins, Amy Johnston, Louis Mandylor? Now we have something. Instead of being a franchise that trades on a name for streams and rentals, it could be a franchise people actually anticipate the next installment of.

And with that, let's wrap this up. I think this might still be on Starz, but if not, I would only do this on a free streamer or one you already subscribe to. It's longer than it needs to be, with not enough action, and not enough scenes with some of the great names.

And if you haven't yet, check out my new novel, Holtman Arms, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!

Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece (2018)

In furthering our celebration of Cynthia Rothrock joining the 40 Club, I figured I'd finally give this one a look. Not only does it have her, but two other 30 Club actors, Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Michael Dudikoff. On the other hand, for a film with all these names, it seemed suspicious that none of the other usual suspects had covered this, and it only had two critic reviews and 10 user reviews. Let's see if the suspicions were warranted.

Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece is, beyond being a difficult title to type, an attempted send-up of old grindhouse movies about a guy named the Fist who hilariously is both a martial arts fighter and a former porn star--trust me, I'm laughing on the inside. Stuff happens though, and he finds he has to fight people, along with a couple friends, and eventually that leads him to the head baddie, played by Michael Dudikoff. Other stuff happens, including a lot of dick jokes, fights, and all kinds of computer generated video effects, for roughly an hour and 40 minutes, and then for 7 minutes more stuff happens as the credits roll. But it does have a lot of names that make cameos, so there's that.

Between my 4th and 5th years of college--yes, I took five years to get my BA--I dated a girl who had two kids, one that wae three, and the other not quite two. One of the times I was over there, the mother was changing the not quite two-year-old, and while she was getting the diaper, he got away and started peeing. He was so fascinated that urine was coming out of his penis, that he ran over to show me, and I was like "yeah, it does that, isn't that crazy?" Beyond the fact that it's hard to think that that almost two-year-old is old enough to drink now, this movie smacked of a couple guys who just learned what their penis can do, and watching it, I felt like the adult saying "yes, it does that, isn't that crazy?" It wasn't just that the film was full of dick jokes, but they were like "penises are so great, I can't believe I'm just learning about mine!" Whether they were dick jokes or other kinds of jokes, they often didn't quite come off like they should have, and when they did hit, they didn't know when to stop. It was like if you've ever been at a party and told a joke everyone thought was funny, and another guy there thinks he's funny too, so he follows you around and tells you a bunch of jokes that for the most part don't work, but when one lands he goes back to that well over and over, and you're just trying to get away. There were some fun moments though. I think had it been shorter, had a comedic writer helped with the jokes, and if the two stars--one of whom was director and co-writer, the other of whom was the other writer--had not been in it and they left the film to the stars they cast, it might have worked. Unfortunately for me it was a miss, and I guess that's why it doesn't have more buzz considering those names.

Because I'm including this as part of the celebration for Rothrock joining the 40 Club, I'll start with her, even though she's barely in the movie. She has one quick fight scene, which was good, but we could've had more. For example, we had Jean-Claude Van Damme's daughter Bianca Brigitte, why didn't we have a fight scene between those two? That would've been more compelling than a lot of what we ended up with. Also, the big plot device was that our Fist character eats meatballs that have estrogen in them, and he loses his mojo. So too much estrogen means someone can't kick ass? Beyond the fact that that kind of joke was more appropriate in the 90s, how can you have kickass women like Rothrock and Bianca Van Damme and say that our hero ingesting estrogen makes him weak? I'll take the Pepsi challenge with Rothrock's stuff over this any day.

 

Close on Rothrock's heels for his own inclusion in the 40 Club, we're now at 38 for Don "The Dragon" Wilson--though it seems like two films we tagged him in, Saigon Commandos and The Siege of Firebase Gloria, have been removed from his IMDb bio, so he may only be at 36. In this he has a bigger part than Rothrock, which is nice. He played a fun send-up to the 70s Hong Kong martial arts master. I'd be interested to see how he did with more of these roles, like maybe something done by Michael Jai White who has a good mix of a keen sense of humor and fantastic martial arts skills. In Black Dynamite he had some send-ups to the old martial arts movie that came off really well, and the way Wilson carried his part off here, it would be fun to see what they could do together. As far as the 40 Club for him, he has three movies on Tubi that I can do, so that'll be easy to get one more--Scorpion King 4 is one I've seen, but didn't get any images before it was removed from Tubi, so I'm waiting for it to come around again. The question then is, where could he go from there? He's making more stuff, so we could potentially get another 10 movies from there, it's just a matter I guess of how many more older ones get dropped from IMDb for technically not having him in them.

We last saw Michael Dudikoff here back in January of 2020, and that was the first time since we'd done In Her Defense in 2011. This is now 33 films for him--he has 34 tags because we did American Ninja 2 twice--and I don't see us getting that many more unless he has a greater outburst of films, but that may be okay for him, he's already given us a lot of greats. His role here as the main baddie was one of the few real standouts in this to me. The Joker make-up combined with the maniacal nature, I'd love to see him do more crazy baddies in DTV flicks. Like if they ever made a DTV Expendables, where maybe you have Rothrock, Wilson, and Daniels as the heroes, they could have Fred Williamson as the Machine Gun Joe type, and Dudikoff as the baddie, and maybe Matthias Hues as his hatchet man. Oh, maybe add in Dacascos with that trio of heroes too. Should we tack on Gruner too? Anyway, let's get this DTV Expendables made, and load up all those names in a film all us DTV action fans can enjoy.

Finally, making a movie a comedy sometimes has the effect of insulating it from criticism. "Of course that was bad, you just don't get the joke, we made it bad on purpose!" I get that, and the point could be made that I just didn't get the humor here, or it wasn't my style. It just seemed like overall there wasn't a lot of cohesion, people just show up, there's a bunch of close-ups and sound effects, then they fight and CGI blood appears, and then we go to more things happening that make no sense, close-ups and sound effects, and more fights and CGI blood splatters. In once scene, there's this fight at the bagel burger place the hero and his friends work at, and he does this back kick thing to the baddies over and over. I get repeating the scene if you only have 60 minutes of footage and need to stretch things, but the movie was an hour and 47 minutes! It needed to cut things, not extend the joke. Another scene, the director's character kicks a baddie holding a gun, which causes the baddie to shoot another baddie. It was funny, but then they repeat it. Again. And again. Like over ten times. And it's like "it's hilarious, the guy keeps getting shot with CGI blood splatters and he's yelling in pain!" Going back to Black Dynamite or Machete and why those worked, I think a big part of it was the people making those lived in the 70s and 80s during the Grindhouse era, so they got the vibe better, whereas the guys making this were younger, more my age, and there was almost a sense that they were trying to remake Machete or Black Dynamite more. For me, this would've worked at 80 minutes, played a little bit straighter, but still as a comedy, with Don Frye's character as the hero. Just get rid of the characters played by the director and his co-writer, maybe do 30% of the dick jokes--which may still be more dick jokes than any other movie--and let the guest stars, of which there were many, do their things.

But ultimately we didn't get that, and what we did get didn't work for me. As of this writing you can get this on Tubi here in the States. Maybe if you're a completist of the stars like me, you make it happen, otherwise beware the siren song of all these names calling you in. It seems this was ignored by the usual suspects for a reason.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2490148

And if you haven't yet, check out my new novel, A Girl and a Gun, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!