Cyborg Director's Cut aka Slinger (1989)

When word first surfaced that a director's cut of Cyborg had been found, I was pretty excited to see what this was all about. Then, when Albert Pyun offered to send me a copy so I could review it, I was even more excited. This is a very unique experience because, unlike most director's cuts which are a totally finished product, and often meant to replace the original cut in the market, this is a very rough version, not cleaned up, and intended for us as fans of the original to look at and see what we think of it. So without further ado...

Slinger, or the Cyborg Director's Cut, has some very distinct differences in story from the version we're familiar with. First off, there's no plague. Van Damme is chasing Vincent Klyn more out of revenge than to save a cyborg. As far as the cyborg goes, she's carrying data that will help get the electrical grids up and running--or so she says, because we discover rather quickly that she and the people she works for have secret ulterior motives. And then there's Klyn, who has a different raison d'etre as well: he's like a conqueror or killer in the name of Satan, almost like a take on the medieval crusader. He feels like this world is meant to be, and wants to stop the cyborg from fixing it, so he's recruiting forces from other gangs and planning to invade Atlanta.



We're going to start with what I liked. The new story plugs some of the holes the old one had, like, first and foremost, why the cyborg would be in New York getting key information to cure the plague. It made no sense, but this makes more sense, that there'd be info on an old computer she needed to get at. Also, this version handles the length of time to get from New York to Atlanta much better. On a technical aspect, the DC introduces the musical score that was intended to go with the movie, and which is definitely superior. There were a couple moments when it was a little heavy handed--best example was when Prophet reveals herself to be a cyborg, and there's a "bom-bom-bom", which was a bit much-- but that was rare, and more often, it fit the mood and the shots better. The music from the theatrical version was really just filler, while here it was a part of the film. (More on the music later.)

I think the what I didn't like was very minimal, but I figured I'd put it in here anyway. The voice effects on the flashback sequences, especially the echo, was kind of cheesy. I did like the flashback sequences here better overall though. I also liked better in the theatrical version (from here "TV") that we didn't learn the full extent of what Klyn and his gang did to Van Damme and the family until he was crucified. In the DC we learn about it earlier, but I think it had more punch by waiting. On the other hand, the crucifixion scene makes much more sense in the DC with Klyn as a twisted religious figure. I also liked the end fight between Klyn and Van Damme in the TV better. In the DC it's cut down a little more.



Overall, I think the DC fits more with what Albert Pyun was going for, with the Spaghetti Western aspect and the samurai films. The TV had elements of that, but it became more low-budget actioner--which was fun too, don't get me wrong. I'm left trying to imagine if Cyborg would be as much of a cult favorite had the DC version been the one we got originally, which is hard because the actual video is so rough. I actually watched the theatrical one right before the DC so I could compare the two better, and I really think that there wouldn't have been a drop off in the film's following had the DC been released, and when you combine that with the fact that the pluses of the DC outweigh those of the TV, I would have to say the DC wins. Between the superior music and the story that made just a little more sense, I'm left wondering what the Cyborg property could've been beyond the first one had the DC been the one released in 1989.

I went back to my review of the TV, and in it I said that it was maybe Pyun's best film, so to find out that the project had been taken from him was intriguing to say the least. I wasn't sure what I would think going in, because Cyborg is such an iconic film that so many from my generation saw at a young age (perhaps too young) and it was part of what sparked our interest in the action and sci-fi genres. Now that we're 20+ years after the film's initial release, I'm not sure we can do like Lucas did with Star Wars and try to erase the original from existence; but there's definitely a place for this director's cut to coexist with the version that we grew up with, and I'd like to see it as a finished product, with the images cleaned up and maybe even a director's commentary or introduction or interview--if that's possible, I don't know. If not, this on it's own is still pretty cool.



The soundtrack by Tony Riparetti and Jim Saad will be available in April 2011 on CD from Howlin' Wolf Records (www.howlinwolfrecords.com). When the editing process was taken away from Pyun and this score was axed, I have to imagine they went with some stock music from a previous film or something, because that's really what it sounds like, and before this, I'd never noticed the music in Cyborg. I don't know what the thinking in cutting it was either, if it was too married to the original edit that it didn't fit, or if it was too intrusive and they wanted the music to be merely filler. It's one of those crazy realities of working in movies, that people can put all this effort into making the music for a feature length film, only to have it all axed. At least now all that hard work is finally coming to light.

I guess that leaves us with only one more thing: is this worth buying? First off, if you're interested in purchasing it, you need to first send an e-mail to curnanpictures@gmail.com with Cyborg Director's Cut in the subject line, and let them know that you're interested. From there they'll send you an e-mail letting you know what you'll get, and what the cost is. For $25--US, it's a little more for Canada and Europe--you get the Cyborg Director's Cut, Pyun's feature film Bulletface, plus his autograph and personal message on the cover. You can see some of my cover shots I included in this post, which will also give you an idea of the new cover art, which is pretty sweet too. In the e-mail you get back before you buy you'll also be given a link to a video clip just so you see what it will look like. They make no bones about it, this is for die hard fans and collectors, and if you don't count yourself as either, this might not be for you--you're looking at a very rough cut. On the other hand, to get a sense of what Albert Pyun really wanted to do with the film that he might be most famous for is definitely worth checking out.



Final verdicts: now that we're nearly 20 years on with the theatrical version, I don't know that I can say I'd rather the DC in it's place, but I also don't know that I can say I wouldn't have been as enamored with the DC as I've been with the TV had the DC been the one that was released back then, so I don't know why the project was taken from Pyun. I've always thought that Cyborg was a wasted property, and watching both versions today brought that sense back again. This wasn't just something that more could've been done with linearly--as in with better sequels--but horizontally as well, with things like novels and mid-late 90s syndicated TV shows that took place in the same time but in different locations with different characters. It might be too late for all of that now--although, while the syndicated TV market may be dead, a series of YA sci-fi books might still work--but the Cyborg saga under this DC storyline may not be over yet, if the end credits are any indication. There's mention of a Cyborg Legacy: The Rise of the Slingers. We'll have to wait and see, but that could be really cool.

Also, one quick mention before I wrap this up: the voice overs sounded like Thom Mathews. I'm not sure if it's him or not, just saying it sounds like him. Imagine him in a Cyborg spin-off as a Slinger...

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097138/ and curnanpictures@gmail.com

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

The Killing Man aka The Killing Machine (1995)

This is one that's been in my Netflix queue for a while, and when I saw we hadn't done any Jeff Wincott recently, I decided to bump it up and have a go. I'd seen trailers for it in a few other DTV actioners, and it looked good. As an aside, Lee over at Straight-to-DVD-Heaven reviewed this as well, and his post has a great Andrew Ridgeley mention.

The Killing Man has Wincott as a dude who wakes up in a hospital with bandages on his face. Turns out, he was a contract killer in his former life, set up by his ex-employers, and almost killed in a fire. Now he's in the hands of Michael Ironside, who is turning him into a killing machine for the US government. Might be a bad gig, but one could do a lot worse for a new look than Jeff Wincott's mug, so our hero bumps a few people off, then finds out he's bumping off people who are unearthing proof that AIDS was invented by the US government. Heavy stuff man, but a guy like Wincott was made for heavy stuff.

I liked this one. Maybe not the best Wincott actioner, but I kind of dug what they were going for. It was a combination action/Film Noir/Johnny Get Your Gun type deal that was much darker than the average DTV action flick; plus, there was a message about AIDS awareness, though it was only small, it was still a big deal being that this was 1995. I will admit, I prefer my action films with more of a solid identity and a lot more ass kicking, but ultimately, this worked.

Wincott's back baby, and even if aspects of this film weren't quite there, he always was. The voice-overs, the mean mugging and cigarette smoking, and of course, the ass kicking. There's one great scene early on where Ironside wants to make sure he'll kick ass when told to, and he brings in this dude with dreads who killed an elderly couple as he held up their convenience store. Wincott says no at first, but then the guy says something to the affect of "I'll kill you," and Wincott's like "you'll kill me?" Exactly, you know what happens next. One issue I did have, and that scene with the dreads guy can speak to that, is Wincott takes more hits in this one than in some of his better ones. I don't know, some Rastafarian punk criminal shouldn't be nearly kicking Wincott's ass for any segment of their fight.

This is the perfect kind of role for Michael Ironside, total dick, no nonsense, secret service agent--even if he's Canadian. For a guy of his talents and the type of films he does, it's a bit surprising that we haven't seen more of him--as of this posting this is only is fourth film up here. The name doesn't hurt either, I mean, it just sounds cool, doesn't it? Ironside. And he has a knack for playing roles that you'd expect from someone named Ironside.

More often than not, in the DTV movie, the voice-over doesn't work, but here was a rare occasion when it did. Part of that is Wincott's voice, but the director also did a good job of layering them over cool scenes, and making sure the actors sounded like they were reciting the lines, not reading them. There's even a great one over Wincott and his lady interest as they have sex.

This film seems like it's trying to defy DTV action movie conventions throughout, until it hits the end credits, when we get this too sweet hair metal song to send us off with. On the one hand, it left me with a good taste in my mouth, but on the other it kind of made me wish the whole thing was hair metal and montages and helicopters exploding and crazy fight scenes set to electric guitars...

This is a good change of pace, and in that sense it's worth a look. Plus, Wincott and Ironside are not wasted, and a lot of fun, so you get what you paid for with them. The fact that you can get this on DVD through Netflix is an added bonus, so you can take a look at it at very little risk and see if it works for you. Like I said, a lot darker than these things usually go.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110263/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

Alien vs. Ninja (2010)

I don't remember where I first caught wind of this. I know our buddy over at Mr. Gable's Reality had mentioned it, and he also reminded me (and everyone else) via his blog that this was on Watch Instantly, which meant it was only a matter of time before I made it happen. Let's see if it's as good as it looks.

Alien vs. Ninja takes place in feudal Japan, where a team of ninjas see a mysterious ball of fire come from the sky. They go and check it out, and find that there are some killer aliens afoot. Can they defeat them with their superior ninja fighting skills?



This is pretty sweet. I mean, when you're talking Alien vs. Ninja, I don't think you could ask for much better. Yeah, maybe there were a couple of dead spots, but the action and martial arts were fantastic, the gore was great, the alien looked like a cross between the Predator the Alien and a dolphin, and the whole thing was made with the idea that this was going to be a fun movie, and that's what we got. This worked on every level for me.

I'm not as familiar with the modern Japanese action genre-- or really any genre in modern Japanese cinema-- so this was a good experience. This wasn't the extreme horror gore like some of its in-country counterparts, it was more in the fun, Full Moon vein, which is more my style. I like to get a kick out of my horror, not be on the verge of getting sick. Then there were the spectacular martial arts scenes-- better than a lot of the other stuff we review on here. Usually a film that combines genres does one better, while lacking in the other; but this film did all its genres really well.



The only woman in the film was a too hot ninja played by Mika Hijii, who was also in the Isaac Florentine flick Ninja, which we reviewed a little while back. She was just too hot for words here, though, in that skin tight ninja suit. She wasn't just window dressing though, she had some nice fight scenes where she got to kick some alien ass. She also had a couple joke scenes that were like sexual double entendres, where she and her adversary were in some compromising positions that could be interpreted in more than one way. Hot, kickass, and funny, a triple threat.

These were some of the coolest ninja outfits I've seen. You know me, my standard is pretty much the Mortal Kombat ninjas, so anything that can rival that in coolness is good in my book. Often, the ninja costume is just mailed in, and for a movie like this, you'd almost think that'd be the route they'd go down, but not at all. Even for a movie that was ultimately supposed to be silly, they took a lot of aspects of the production seriously, and it showed.



Netflix Watch Instantly has the dubbed version, and I think that might actually be better for this, though I would've preferred the subtitles. A lot of the voices sounded very similar to the ones you'd hear in a Bruce Lee film. I wonder if they're the same people. Not to toot my own horn, but I've been told I have a pretty good voice. Maybe I could get work dubbing Asian movies for American markets. A guy can dream, right?...

This is a sure bet. If you look at a film titled Alien vs. Ninja and you're expecting something serious, that's your problem; but if you're looking for a fun time, you could do a lot worse-- but why would you when you don't have to? Watch Instantly makes this an even surer bet. Go for it.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592503/

The Hostage (1998)

Who knows when this first came on my radar. Probably as a Cynthia Rothrock flick. But then I see that it also has Ted Prior--yeah, that Ted Prior, Danton from Deadly Prey--and I'm all in. Now, I can't find confirmation of this, but The Hostage is also supposed to be an AIP flick. Ted Prior is the only connection I can find between this film and the famed production/distribution company though.

The Hostage is about a gang of high-end thieves who plan to break into a really rich businessman's house, hack into his computer, and download all his money. Ted Prior plays a down-on-his-luck former special forces dude who signs on with this crew so he can make some cash that he and his daughter can live off of. Things go wrong, though, and the guys are holed up in the mansion, holding the rich dude hostage, while the feds have them under siege outside, led by agent Cynthia Rothrock. Will the thieves get away with the cash?

I don't know if you can tell from the pictures, but this is pretty hard core, as in the film stock they shot on was the same video quality of most porn films. How in the hell did Rothrock get roped into this one? What, was she in her hotel room near where they were planning to make the film, when a producer visits and says "Hey, we got some bad news. The film reels and cameras didn't make it out from LA. Yeah, it looks like we'll be shooting on video. I know I know, we're not happy about it either, but, what can we do. The other guys said you'd be pissed, but I said no way, Cynthia's a true professional..." I don't really know after that whether this was a good or bad movie, because, shot as it was, I couldn't take it seriously. Yes, script-wise it was pretty un-proofread, and after Rothrock, the acting wasn't the greatest; but it was fun for what it was, real bottom of the barrel stuff.

I have to imagine, for someone like Rothrock, she loves that people like me are big fans, but there are some drawbacks, like when I have a movie blog that spotlights her films, and I find something like this. She was great in it though, she just didn't have a big part, and never did any martial arts. I'd have loved to see her and Ted Prior go at it. She spends the entire film leading the police siege of the mansion, though she does pick up a gun and shoot some guys near the end. One great scene I liked came after she walks away from some of the local cops, and one of them remarks that she's a total bitch, and this other guy says "hey morons, you're only saying that because she's a woman. If it was a guy, you'd be like 'Yes sir' and all excited to get after it." The people who made Death Race 2 could learn a lot about their own misogyny from The Hostage.

Ted Prior's back. I know, you probably never thought we'd see him again. He's aged a bit, and now looks like a cross between David Bradley and Rick Hill, which is a good combination to have. He has a little more action than Rothrock, but this is nowhere near the level of awesomeness that Deadly Prey was, it's more just the novelty that the guy from that was in this.

This beefy guy below was one of the highlights of the film for me. He was the leader of the gang, and he had this great voice and very doughy demeanor that was all pretty funny. It's guys like this that make a movie like this worth watching--almost.

Dana Plato had a small role as Prior's sister in-law. She died a year after this came out. In her early scenes, I couldn't really tell it was her, because the film was poorly lit, but at then end, when she comes back, I could see her better, and you could tell that she wasn't well. She had three more films released after The Hostage, including a soft core porn film called Different Strokes.

I don't know how you'd find this outside maybe the torrent route, and I don't know if you want to find it unless you're a Rothrock completist, or the idea of her and Prior in a film intrigues you. As a note: they never share any screen time together.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0256082/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/

 

The Expert (1995)

A while back, our friend Kenner over at Movies in the Attic sent us this, along with a bunch of others. He's learning the hard way that it often takes me a little while to get to all my submissions, especially if it's something without any Hall of Famers to make it a priority. He's reviewed this one as well, a part of his Jeff Speakman Binge post, and you can click on that link to see what he thought.

The Expert has Jeff Speakman as a former special forces dude working as a consultant to the police department whose sister is murdered by a serial killer. The guy goes to jail, and then some such silliness occurs and it's not exactly certain whether or not he'll get the chair, or the classic cinematic ploy, the insanity defense, will rear it's ugly head and the guy will get away with murder (we'll get into this cinematic device later). After much foot dragging, in the final fifteen minutes Speakman decides to get his military gear together and go to the prison to exact his own justice, and not a moment too soon, because his sister's killer is planning a prison break.



This was bad on two levels. First, because we're the DTVC, and we're looking at a Jeff Speakman flick, let's look at the action-- or lack thereof. And the thing is, the film promises some. Right at the beginning, we see, either Speakman or a stuntdouble, doing a forward facing repel. As an occasional ice climber and rock climber, I know how crazy that is. He looks like he's taking out some SWAT team guys, but we find out he's just training them. End scene, and end action for 45 minutes. Then we get another great scene, then we're done for another 20 minutes, then a small scene, and then the end, which really wasn't that good either. So bad on the action. But second, it was bad on the Lifetime movie front as well. It pretty much spends its nickel right away when it kills the sister off, but then takes forever to use what it spent. Either don't kill the sister off, have Speakman save her in the nick of time, and make the film a cat and mouse game as the killer gets out of jail and tries to kill her to get his revenge; or, kill the sister off as planned, but get right into Speakman's revenge. Why wait the entire film? All of this stuff that comprised the bulk of the film could be done in five minutes of dialog, then you can have Speakman get his stuff and kick some ass. Instead, nothing happens in the interim, and that's kind of the point of a movie, things need to happen.

And what this means, unfortunately, is that Speakman is wasted. He has a few really nice scenes, but by the end, it just wasn't working. Also, a lot of the fights had him wearing big coats, which made them harder to watch. Had this been a better Lifetime movie, the lack of fight scenes would've worked. I can think of two films off the top of my head that utilized the "psycho is trying to kill the girl hero must protect her" paradigm really well: Blackjack and Blackbelt. Then you could have Speakman constantly working. Maybe the better play would've been to get rid of the sister all together, and have the psycho target Elizabeth Gracen's character.



That's right, I mentioned the beautiful Elizabeth Gracen, who actually celebrated her birthday recently, on April 3rd. I had no idea that she and I had birthdays so close. She plays a reporter in this, but her character is pretty much wasted by the complete lack of plot. She's like his love interest, but not, or kind of, and she gets a few more scenes as a reporter talking to James Brolin at his jail and stuff. In the paragraph above I mentioned her maybe playing the psycho's target, and Speakman protecting her, but based on how great she was in Highlander: The Series, a simple damsel in distress role probably wouldn't have suited her. Still, it would've been better than what we ended up with.

Yes, I said James Brolin. He plays the warden at the prison. He's also on the cover. Other great cameos include Ted Raimi, and the late Jim Varney. How do you not love Jim Varney in anything, right? His one great scene was one of the few shining moments of the film. Brolin was great too, he was just wasted, like everyone else, by the motionless plot. His tough-as-nails warden could've been great if they went with a Death Warrant theme with Speakman infiltrating the prison for an extended period to get his sister's killer, but with the way they went, it barely meant anything. Raimi has one scene, where he's trying to fix a copier, and the killer comes by and offers to help, which causes Raimi to leave, ending his contribution to the film.



Above I mentioned the classic "insanity defense as a cinematic device". You know what I'm talking about, the portrayal in the movies of this binary system in our courts, where it's either someone is guilty of murder, and he or she goes to jail, or someone is guilty by reason of insanity, which means he or she spends six months in a mental hospital, deemed cured, and is then allowed back into society none the worse for wear. Who in the hell came up with that? The problem is, people believe these myths because they have no other basis of information to refute such asinine concepts, then they hear the insanity defense in real life, and immediately think someone is getting away with something.

All right, before I hop on my soapbox, it's time to wrap this up. You can get this through Amazon-- and clicking on the Amazon link through imdb gets you some great "how to" sex movie results mixed in-- but I'm not sure you'd want to. It's just a big ol' pile o' blah.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109760/

Armstrong (1998)

I've been meaning to get to this one for some time now. First it was on Netflix Watch Instantly, then it wasn't, then I went on hiatus at the end of the summer, then I came back, it came back, but other movies kept bumping it down the pecking order. Now we're finally here. Also, this has been done by two other blogs that are well known to readers of the DTVC, Ty at Comeuppance Reviews, and Sutekh at Explosive Action.

Armstrong has Frank Zagarino as an ex-CIA dude in Russia training their new version of the KGB that's supposed to be more US friendly. At the same time, a very moist Charles Napier has been sent by the President to look into some nukes being sold by rogue members of the Russian military to terrorist organizations. He's killed by Joe Lara, but not before Zagarino gets the proof he needs on a video tape. The problem is, how far up the military chain does this go in Russia? As far as Richard Lynch?



I kind of dug this one. It was a little long, but the whole thing was so gratuitous that I kind of let that pass. I mean, the plot was pretty well worn but funny, the action scenes were hilarious but in a fun way, plus, this was directed by Menahem Golan, and we know he knows how to do bad action. In fact, this felt like something that was made in the early 90s, not 1998-- only the style of the Pepsi logo in one scene gave the shooting date away-- so you could see how it might have fit Golan's other "Cannon", get it? This is the kind of movie you're dealing with here: Kimberley Kates has a full-frontal scene when she comes out of the shower, which transitions into her putting on wet clothes, no underwear, Lara pointing a gun between her legs and looking up her skirt, then her running around in a see-through wet blouse during a foot chase. The foot chase goes on way longer than the action warranted, and really kills the film's momentum, but there was a sense that Golan and whoever else that was involved in making the film were like "hey, we convinced Kimberley to do the wet T-shirt scene, let's get our money's worth." If you dig that kind of thing, you'll dig this.

Frank Zagarino is back again. This will be his fourth film, but only his third starring role. We didn't do this one though solely for him, though having him helped. The Napier and the Lynch didn't hurt things either, plus, having Lara as the heel really worked. I mean, replace Lara's double-breasted suit with a Star Trek: The Next Generation T, and he'd be one of those guys they showed in Trekkies selling replica Klingon weapons at the convention. It would've been nice if he and Zagarino had a better end fight, but it was still good.



Richard Lynch was in this as a Russian colonel, so he affected a Russian accent. It was funny, because his native Brooklyn accent is still pretty apparent. Try to mix those two together. He was also kind of a secondary baddie to Joe Lara, which didn't feel right-- Lynch should always be the big baddie. This is only his sixth film on the DTVC, and I know we had talking in the past about making a concerted effort to get more of his films up here, because he is such a great DTV baddie. He's always on my radar for that reason, it's just a matter of making it happen.

This had to be the most moist film we've ever reviewed on here. Everyone was just covered in Patrick Ewing style perspiration. First it was Napier, but then the rest of them followed suit. I'm talking like "I've been hiking in 90-degree weather" dripping wet kind of moistness; or "I'm way overweight and the AC doesn't work at the Chinese food buffet" kind of moistness. Whose idea was that? It wasn't appealing, it was gross.



As I mentioned above, Kimberley Kates has a full-frontal nude scene-- we're talking top and bottom. Then she runs around for a good ten minutes of screen time in a wet see-through blouse. There's even a very tasteful part where she sits down in front of a room service cart to eat, and Lara pops out from underneath it and points his gun between her legs, making sure he gets a good look too-- she's wearing no underwear. She also gets punched in the face a few times, tied to a chair, and when all is said and done, she's rescued by Zagarino and his Russian friend, and the three walk off into the sunset together, none the worse for wear. One of the funnier things she did was make this pirate "Arrgh!" when she's first getting tied up.

This is pure bad Menahem Golan, reminiscent of the Cannon days, but not quite as good. I saw it as a solid bad movie night film. It's not just so bad it's good, but it's gratuitously bad it's good, and sometimes that gratuitousness (gratuity?) can be too much for some people, i.e. the film takes on too much of that lowest common denominator principle. I can see that, and Armstrong definitely pushed it, but in the end it worked for me.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139029/

April Fools (2007)

In a tradition I started two years ago, on my 30th birthday, with the film April Fools Day, I have been doing a film celebrating April 1st. It looks now, though, like this might be the last time, because I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel-- even if this has Obba Babatundé.

April Fools is about a group of really old high school kids in Chicago who kill a popular TV advertisement actor in the process of an April Fools joke gone bad. One year later, someone is bumping off the kids involved with the prank. Could this be some kind of revenge?



No style, no substance. It's okay to have one without the other, but neither doesn't work. One thing I'd consider mixing in is a collapsible knife-- it makes those stabbing scenes that much better. Also, if the stunts look clunky, don't use them. Maybe try humor instead. A great example came when the killer accosted a victim in the bathroom. The kid turns before the killer can get him, and a clunky-as-all-hell struggle ensues. Why not do something funny there instead? A bathroom scene is screaming out for dark humor. The end was the worst, because we get this idea that the killer had spiked the main girl's drink, meaning she'd be knocked out, wake up somewhere, and he'd reveal his motives. Instead, he's like "drink up your cola", and she has a sip, then some more clunkiness ensues, and she escapes, leading to an even more poorly choreographed struggle that ends in the killer's death. I mean, with a running time of 75 minutes, there was plenty of time to flesh some things out, replace those awkward-- and extremely silly in a bad way-- looking struggles, and have more fun with it. In the end, this is a glorified YouTube video with Obba Babatundé.

Obba Babatundé. Can we say it again? Obba Babatundé. Just rolls off the tongue right? The other film of his we've done is Black Dynamite, which was fantastic. He has a pretty impressive resume, so who knows how he ended up in this. Obba Babatundé. Obba Baba Obba Baba Obba Babatundé. He plays the police chief and father to the main girl, which is what it is I guess. He really just goes around investigating but not actually finding anything, because the girl solves the case herself and defeats the killer herself. Obba Babatundé.



Recognize this guy? He's everywhere now, huh? You can't go a commercial break without seeing him at least once. Who'd a thunk, out of everyone here, the guy who was in the film for only the first five minutes would be the most recognizable, even more so than Obba Babatundé and rapper Lil Flip. Good for you That Guy, and good luck in your future ad gigs.

I'm not too familiar with rapper Lil Flip, but I gotta figure this movie was a bad move for him. First, he's playing in some high school gym. What, you can't book a club in the city? Second, he hits on the main girl, who is in high school, instead of getting out of there with the quickness and getting into some trouble in Chi-Town. And finally, he gets shot down by the main girl. Wow, not a good look. Come on Lil Flip, you need a better agent. It's bad enough to be in a glorified YouTube video of a movie, but one that makes you looks so bad? Why couldn't you have played someone else? Like an area rapper on the come up? Then playing at a high school doesn't look so bad, and neither does getting rejected by the main girl.



Speaking of the main girl, she was played by Aaliyah Franks, and she didn't do a bad job, which makes it that much more disappointing that the film went in bad directions for her. Why the clunky fight scene with the killer at the end? Why the awkward "you're never around anymore dad" with Obba Babatundé? What they should've done was had her as a very stuck up daddy's girl, and Obba Babatundé feels like he did a bad job by spoiling her, so he gets all her friends to join up and play this big April Fools joke to show her some humility. It would've given her some depth to work with: moving from stuck-up and snobby to humble and down-to-Earth; and it would've given the bad looking killing scenes a better explanation.

Of the 75 minute running time, a good 5-10 minutes are taken up with shots of the Windy City, especially at the beginning. The problem is, Chicago never plays a part in the film. This could've taken place in Omaha or Birmingham or Milwaukee. Chicago is one of those cities that can be a character. Just look at Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Or on the other hand don't use any shots of famous Chicago landmarks in the beginning, and have the film take place in Any City, USA, which works well too. This situation, though, was like a city bait-and-switch, or a lazy addition of meaningless footage.

This is available on Watch Instantly. With a 75 minute running time-- of which I'd say 15 is taken up by opening shots of Chicago and end credits-- it could make for a good bad movie night thing, especially if you and your buddies are up for something on an MST3K level to heckle. On the other hand, this had a chance to be something more than that, and it just feels like the effort wasn't put into it, which is too bad.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1083844/