Vice (2015)

 

I saw that Tubi was close to dumping this, so I figured I'd make it happen before they did. I think, but I'm not sure, that they actually extended it after I did, but either way, I'd watched it, so it's time to review it. In addition to us, our buddy Mitch at the Video Vacuum has checked it out as well, so you can go to his site to see what he thought. Now, without any further ado.

Vice has Bruce Willis as a meglomaniacal business owner who has created this resort where people can act out their worst fantasies on human-like robot people. Want to rape and kill a hot blond? Sure, we all do! What can go wrong with that? Plenty, as one of the hot blonds, Amber Childres, starts to gain some level of self-awareness, and she escapes. That leads to the involvement of police detective Thomas Jane, who has wanted to bring down Willis's resort for a long time--why would he want to do that?--and he and the escaped robot woman work together toward that end. Fortunately for both of them, Willis's contract stipulated that he couldn't shoot in multiple locations, so they know where to find him when they want to take him down.

 

This felt like a Philip K. Dickensian concept that may have wanted a bigger budget theatrical release, but ended up here in DTV. For me I think the reason why is the overall concept is pretty macabre. The idea of a resort-like location where people can act out their fantasies is one thing, but when the fantasies are violent and sadistic that's something else. "Vice" isn't an apt title, but I guess "Psycho" was already taken. From there, there are some good cat and mouse elements, and I liked Jane and Childers's performances, but we could see those elements in anything. The hook is supposed to be this PKD-ensian idea of the resort, but when it's so disturbed it's hard to get into it. "Imagine a place where you can rape and kill a woman with no repercussions!" No, I'd rather not.

This was made in 2015, and around that time Willis was becoming increasingly known for these DTV flicks where he's either not in them much, does all of his scenes in one location, doesn't do his reverse shots, and there's a sense that he's mailing it in and just collecting a paycheck. What do we do with that? The movie is casting him because his face on the tin makes it worth more to the studios and distributors, and that gets more streams and rentals--and more folks like me reviewing it for our sites, which gets it more run as well. I'll be the 39th outside review on IMDb, which gives you a sense of the ecosystem we're all working in here with these. This isn't Klaus Kinski or Ernest Borgnine working for a paycheck in a low-budget flick, but they still turn in a great performance; this is Willis trying to get in and out with the least work possible, and there's almost a sense of disdain for the material as he does it. Again, what do we make of that? Is it more fun as a novelty, or less fun because it's so cynical? The movie should have been the resort allows you to pretend to be an actor in your favorite movies, and Willis plays a robot version of himself who can't be bothered to do the scenes with a housewife, and he needs to be reprogrammed. That would have been more interesting than sick rape and murder fantasies.

 

On the other hand, Thomas Jane really brings it, and I wonder if on his side he's looking at it as "if I show up here, maybe I'll get bigger parts down the line." Or maybe he didn't have the disdain for the film overall that Willis did. It's not like he's hurting for work either, but unlike Willis who has had a bigger career to fall back on, I think Jane was expecting The Punisher to lead to the kind of franchise blockbusters that Toby McGuire got with Spider-man and Hugh Jackman got with Wolverine, and instead he ended up with Ben Affleck in Daredevil. For me, this performance shows us how much that Jane Punisher didn't work through no fault of his. Had it been more close to the comic book canon, and Jane had been allowed to be more Frank Castle, maybe we get two or three films out of it. It would be nice to revisit.

As I mentioned above, I thought Childers did well in this too, considering she was playing a part that I don't know there was any precedent for. Yes, robot having an existential crisis happens all the time, but coupled with remembering horrific events like being raped and murdered hundreds of times? And to some extent she as an actor is having to do the same thing in this role: she's playing the standard DTV younger pretty woman, usually clad in black leather or something similar, there to appease the planned male demographic this was intended for, and in her performance she has to say "I'm more than that, you can't just swap me out for another actress and give her the same outfit and call it good," though we as the viewer have often seen a lot of these, and we have seen her part played by myriad other actresses before. That's not what matters though, who cares if we've seen the same thing hundreds of times, if she can stand out, not to us but to people looking to cast her in other things, then she isn't just any woman playing this part, and that does make her performance give the film a little more depth than these movies usually have. 

 

I think I already teased one idea for how I would have wanted the resort to be instead of a place where people can go and act out their most sadistic fantasies, the idea of being able to act out scenes with famous actors. I was trying to think what I would've wanted though for a place like that. First off, I'm married, and I think anything sexual, even if it's with a robot woman, would be cheating--and again, the idea of using a robot person for that kind of thing is off-putting. What if you had robot versions of dead musicians? Like I never got to see Eddie Money before he passed. Or my wife and I could see the Temptations with David Ruffin and Eddie Kendricks. Or Teddy Pendergrass. Imagine that, a movie where a robot who thinks he's Teddy Pendergrass discovers he's a robot, and that's the existential crisis. You could call it "Close the Door".

And with that, I think it's time to wrap this up. This is no longer on Tubi, but you can stream it with Showtime. If you don't already have Showtime, it's not worth spending money on, so I would wait for it to show up on Tubi again--and even then, I don't know how much you need to bump it up in your queue on there. We've seen this before, and the elements that try to make it different, make it a little too much for me.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3480796

Droid Gunner aka Cyberzone (1995)

We continue our Hall of Fame month at the DTVC with our next inductee, the great DTV director Fred Olen Ray. There were a lot of options for a film of his to cover for this post, but I liked that this one had a lot of names in it, plus it was free to stream--can never go wrong there. In addition to us, our friend Mitch at the Video Vacuum has covered this in his "It came from the video store" series, so you can go there to see what he thought.

Droid Gunner (or Cyberzone as you'll see it on the streaming services), has Beastmaster Marc Singer as "Jack Ford," director of such great films as The Grapes of Wrath and Stagecoach--or rather a guy who hunts down androids for a living in the future. When four pleasure droids turn up missing--stolen by one Matthias Hues--, the corporation missing them turns to Singer to find them. Tagging along is a droid specialist from the company, Rochelle Swanson, someone who can deactivate them without damaging them, which is very important when it comes to pleasure droids. Will our hero be able to make all this happen and save the day?

 

This is pure late-night 90s schlock, and I loved it for that. It had your classic Ray Skin-a-max elements, plenty of T n' A, but also great performances from a whole host of names, including, beyond Singer, Hues, and Swanson, Ross Hagen, Peter Spellos, Brinke Stevens, and Kin Shriner (which for someone whose mom watched General Hospital when I was growing up, he was a fun sight). Sure, this is done on a budget, and it bites on all kinds of popular films, like Star Wars, Blade Runner, and For a Few Dollars More, but for the midnight insomnia theater fare that I'm watching it for, it more than delivers.

Ray marks the third director in the Hall of Fame strictly for being a director, the other two being Albert Pyun and Cirio H. Santiago, which, for the DTV fans that we are, is fantastic company. Like those two, he's had some that I really didn't like, some that I loved, and a lot like this where I just enjoyed the ride. I think what I love most about his films, especially from this 90s period, is that he shoehorns a lot of sex and violence into them, but then there are a lot of these other touches like calling the main hero "Jack Ford" or how the plot becomes a take on For a Few Dollars More, which makes it more than just a late-nite 90s schlock exploitation fest. The funny thing is, recently my wife Jen and I were watching a Hallmark Christmas movie that Ray directed, and she was noticing similar touches, like the boy in the orphanage who looked straight out of 50s TV central casting. Like Dacascos, Ray's induction is probably one that's long overdue, but great to finally make happen.

 

The same way we needed to bring up Byron Mann in Dacascos's induction post, we'd be remiss if we didn't continue our efforts to spotlight Matthias Hues as well. He plays a bit of a roguish baddie in this, but also has a lot of fun with it, which is great to see. His playfulness underpins the tone Ray was going for, despite some of the dark future nature of the movie overall. As I've said in previous posts, we generally think of the stars as the people who carry these low-budget films, but when you look at the number of supporting people in this, many of whom do a lot of Ray films, you can see how important it is to have people like Hues who can show up and do their thing to round out the film and make it fun despite the time and budgetary constraints. Here's to you Matthias Hues, you're one of the great ones.

It's strange that we aren't getting to Marc Singer until the sixth paragraph, but with the DTVC, it's hard when you're in a Fred Olen Ray film that has Matthias Hues in it. Anyway, I really liked Singer here as the hero. He seemed to get what Ray was going for with the gunslinger-Western type, and he leaned into it well. Looking at his bio, it does surprise me that we don't have more of his stuff on here. I think other than this, we just have Savate with Olivier Gruner and Ian Ziering. He didn't even have a tag yet, which is crazy for someone of his stature. Well, we've at least taken care of that now. I'll need to at least cover the Beastmaster films in the future, so I imagine this won't be the last of him we see here.

 

Finally, among the other costars, I wanted to mention Kin Shriner, who is best known (though probably not known at all to most reading this) for his role on General Hospital. I bring this up, because my mother used to watch the ABC Soaps when I was growing up: All My Children, One Life to Live, and of course General Hospital. At that time, all of the three major broadcast channels had at least two, if not three or four daytime Soaps on--many people were up in arms in the late 80s during the Oliver North hearings, which preempted them a lot if I remember correctly. Anyway, my wife and I decided to check the other day, and on ABC, only General Hospital remains, and then Days is still on NBC, and CBS has Young and the Restless and Bold and the Beautiful. That's it of a once proud TV genre. Who knows exactly what did it, maybe fewer housewives staying home--though in college my bodybuilding buddy couldn't go to class before Days was over--; or my hunch, that the proliferation of talk shows and court shows, which don't require paying writers and actors, made Soap Operas less cost effective; and unlike scripted prime time TV, which saw a revival in the 2010s after being decimated by reality shows and true crime shows in the 2000s, it looks like the Soaps didn't have the same recovery. I want to say it's too bad, but obviously I wasn't watching them to know how many of them had been cancelled already, but it is still too bad for the people out there who did watch them for so long. Maybe saving the Soaps that are left is a good cause for me to take up...

But before we do that, it's time to wrap this up. You can stream Droid Gunner aka Cyberzone a lot of places for free, in particular Tubi, which has a good ad rate. I say, the next time you're up in the middle of the night and looking for something to watch, give this a spin. It'll take you back to the 90s in a good way.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112906

Crying Freeman (1995)

It's October at the DTVC, which means Hall of Fame month, and the first of our 2020 inductees is someone whose induction has probably been a long time coming, Mark Dacascos, and what better film to do as his induction post. I had been meaning to make this one happen for a while, and not only did I find it on YouTube, but now Prime has it. Among the many other people who have done this one, we have Ty and Brett at Comeuppance, Cool Target, RobotGEEK's Cult Cinema, and Kenner at Movie's in the Attic, so you can see what they all thought as well.

Crying Freeman is based off of a comic of the same name, which has Dacascos as Freeman, a man turned into a killer by a Triad demon, but still maintains some of his humanity, which causes him to cry when he kills. After sparing the life of a woman who witnesses one of his hits (Julie Condra, who became his wife in real life after), Freeman decides to fight the Triad demons that turned him into a killer. The problem is, the Triads don't want to give up such a weapon, so they try to stop him from retiring. Will our hero get out alive?

 

This is the real deal. I think I have Drive as above this on my Dacascos list, but that's a high bar to be under and no knock on how great this is. To me it's a fantastic combination of style and substance that so few action films embrace fully; but this film not only embraces it, it lives in it. The real shame is that it was never released theatrically here in the States, because it holds up with some of the other 90s greats that got those big screen runs. Beyond Dacascos's performance, Christophe Gans as director brings a unique and compelling vision of the action genre which Dacascos appears to be in lockstep with; and then we have fantastic supporting performances by Mako, Byron Mann, Rae Dawn Chong, and Tcheky Karyo, among others. The whole thing just works.

And with this we're inducting Mark Dacascos into the DTVC Hall of Fame here in 2020. The reality is he probably should have been in sooner based on the career he's had and what he's brought to the table, but I went a few years where I didn't induct anyone, and then a few years where I didn't even post reviews, so that meant people like Dacascos who should have been in missed out, and I'm trying to make up for that starting with this year. When you think action lead, Dacascos is on the short list of the best to do it, and this film really drives that home. A well-deserved and long-overdue celebration of one of the best to do it, and if you're looking to get into his films, this is a great place to start.

 

Another great in this who could be someone to consider for a future induction is Mako, whom we last saw in the PM great A Dangerous Place. He doesn't have a big part in this, but he's still a welcomed sight. As I mentioned above, he was one of many great supporting actors in this, and while this is the Dacascos DTVC Hall of Fame celebration post, it is good to give some shine to actors like Mako who often take on supporting roles, but do them so well that it props up the great performances of the leads. Here's to you Mako, you were one of the great ones.

Again, with this being our Dacascos Hall of Fame celebration post, we also still have our continuing mission to get Byron Mann more recognition, so it's good to do that here in this paragraph. His part isn't as big in this, but he's still great. In looking at his IMDb bio, I'm seeing more major TV roles than DTV movies, which in a way is probably better for his career, but wouldn't it be nice to see him in a good DTV actioner? I know I paired him with Michael Jai White in a previous post, but why not Dacascos? Set it in Honolulu, make it a buddy cop thing, and let them get after it. I know a lot of people who would love to see something like that. They had a great fight scene together on the Netflix series Wu Assassins, along with Iko Uwais, which just makes us want more of that. Maybe Seagal on the tin gets views, but Dacascos and Mann get us to watch and spread the word to get more people to watch.

 

Getting back to Dacascos, sometimes we talk about how people end up doing more DTV stuff and less big screen films, and I think if you put this with Double Dragon you can see what happened for him: Double Dragon ended up being a flop, and this great one never made the big screen here in the States. By the same token, just because he didn't get the big screen leads he deserved, doesn't mean he hasn't had a great career, and I hope this post and his induction into the DTVC Hall of Fame will spotlight that. Dacascos really has been one of the best to do it, big screen or not, and he's provided a lot of great moments for us action fans over the years. Truly a well-deserved honor to get Dacascos in, and again, long overdue.

And with that, it's time to wrap this up. Right now you can stream this on Prime. I can't think of a better way to watch this. And for more talk on Dacascos, you can go to the podcast, where I had Ty and Brett from Comeuppance on to discuss his films. It was a great conversation, and a great place to start for people who want to get more into Dacascos's movies.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112750

Firehawk (1993)

As we continue on in our October Hall of Fame month, I wanted to spotlight a film that featured two Hall of Famers that we don't get on the site enough, Martin Kove and Cirio H. Santiago; plus legend DTV producer Roger Corman--who usually produces Santiago's films. Seeing that this was on YouTube made it a no-brainer. In addition to us, Ty and Brett at Comeuppance have covered it too, so you can go to their site to see what they think. Now, without any further ado.

Firehawk has Kove as a helicopter pilot in Vietnam who takes his men on a mission into the jungle, only to have the helicopter malfunction, forcing it to make an emergency landing. It's the sloggiest of the jungle slogs when they're stranded, but the problem is, we also have Kove as the hero, which means he may be up to no good. As his men slog through the jungle, hoping to be rescued, fractures and fissures form, tensions brew, and there's a fear that a traitor may be in their midst. Or maybe they're just losing their minds at being stuck in this Philippine jungle slog. Either way, will someone figure out what the score is before too many people die?

 

For a 90-minute movie, this feels a bit longer than that, and I think that has to do with not only the slog aspect, but the fact that we've added the stranded element. Anyone who's been in a car far from home that has a flat tire or breaks down, or has been waiting at the airport for a plane that's been delayed indefinitely, knows the sense of dread, helplessness, and boredom that you feel, and that I couldn't help feeling when I watched this. There were plenty of shootouts and scenes of Kove chomping a cigar that attempted to mitigate that, but it just felt too flat tire-y. This isn't horrible by any stretch, there are a lot worse ways you could spend 90 minutes, but I think if you were looking for a bad movie night flick among friends, you may end up with people going to their phones if you choose this one.

With his addition to the second season of Cobra Kai, there's been a bit of a resurgence in interest in Martin Kove, which I think is fantastic. By the same token, this late 80s/early 90s incarnation of him is much more enjoyable for me. This is him as the DTVC Hall of Famer/pillar of the video store that he is, chewing cigars and scenery, vests with no shirts underneath, not sure if we can trust him and not sure if we care. Talking about the feeling you get when you're stranded due to a flat tire or something, Kove is both the person you'd love to be stranded with, and the person that you start to not trust because his decisions start to look bad, which makes the feeling of helplessness that much stronger. I think it may have even been what Santiago was going for, but the problem is, is it something we'd really enjoy experiencing?

 

Speaking of Santiago, we're finally hitting ten films for him, which for a Hall of Fame director is big. After Albert Pyun, he's currently the only director in the Hall of Fame strictly as a director, and Pyun is in the 40 Club, so we need more Santiago on the site for sure. Whether it's Vietnam in the Philippines, or post-apocalyptic actioner, Santiago has a slew of fun ones from the mid-80s to the mid-90s that I've barely scratched the surface on, it's just a matter of us getting there, so hopefully we'll start soon. One thing about this, is you can see how much in his element Santiago is in the jungle slog. There's a sense that he and Corman had an understanding that when Corman gave him a script and a budget, Santiago knew where he was headed. On the other hand, Santiago does these a bit differently from the Italian directors who handled them. He comes from a different tradition of film making, which makes these a unique addition to the usual Vietnam in the Philippines and post-apocalyptic films from this era, and something I enjoy as a change of pace.

Roger Corman is the third Hall of Famer involved in this, though he's uncredited as executive producer. He has over 400 production credits on IMDb, the most recent of which is 2019's Abduction, a Scott Adkins film I still haven't reviewed. When you think of DTV and B-movie producers, the conversation starts with him. You can look at Golan and Globus, Pepin and Mehri, and Lloyd Kaufman, but it's like if you add all of their stuff together it almost matches Corman's output. Beyond the great stuff that he had with Santiago, he's also responsible for the Bloodfist and Death Race films, plus was the subject of a great documentary on his failed Fantastic Four film, which we've covered here. We wouldn't have the DTV world we have now if it wasn't for him, so we owe him a lot. Here's to you Mr. Corman, you're one of the best.

 

Finally, Captain America himself, Matt Salinger is back, as the racist member of Kove's platoon. I was trying to remember if we'd seen Salinger play a heel before, and I couldn't think of it, maybe in one of the Seagal films he did. In the paragraph above we were discussing the Corman Fantastic Four that never was, but we have Salinger here who was in the Pyun Captain America that actually was. This was Salinger's follow-up to Cap, so it's interesting how he goes from the greatest American hero in one film to a racist wearing a Confederate flag bandana in the next; but also how he goes from one DTVC Hall of Fame director in Pyun to another in Santiago in the next. If you go to his IMDb page, he uses his Captain America still for his profile pic, which I think is fantastic. The way that Disney and Marvel have tried to act like those great earlier films never existed is an abomination, and I like that people are resisting that.

All right, since we're talking about another movie, it's time to wrap this up. You can currently stream this free on YouTube. I think that's the way to go, but be warned, even for free, it's pretty jungle sloggy. Still there's some fun Kove as well, so if you're pining for some while we're waiting for the next season of Cobra Kai, this might do the trick.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106914

Beyond the Law (2019)

This one appeared on my radar when it was first released on VOD, and I was just biding my time until it was included in one of the subscription packages I already have. First it became available on Hoopla, which is where I think I watched it for this, but it is also available on Showtime On Demand, which we also subscribe to through our cable package--either way, not a bad deal. In addition to us, Todd Gaines at Bulletproof Action reviewed this, so you can go there to see what he thought. Now, without any further ado.

Beyond the Law is not the early 90s Charlie Sheen action-thriller, but rather a 2019 suspense yarn with some action in it featuring Johnny Messner as a former crooked cop whose son is murdered and he wants answer. The murderer is played by Zack ward, aka Scut Farkus, who is crime boss Steven Seagal's son. With Messner and Seagal on a collision course to wackiness, we also have DMX as the detective on the take trying to stand in Messner's way. The real problem though is, Seagal, as the baddie, always has it in his contract that he can't be beaten in fight, so how does Messner vanquish a baddie he can't beat?

  

I don't know what to make of this movie. The cover told me all I needed to know, right? The actor with the most screentime is always the one furthest to the back on the tin, so I knew going in this was a Messner movie instead of a Seagal or DMX movie. That then leaves us with the issue that we only have Seagal and DMX in this to splash on the cover and make the movie worth more to the studios--I mean, would I be reviewing this right now if Messner was front and center on the cover with Zack Ward? Maybe not; or maybe I am because maybe the people who made it are getting the word out to people like me so we can sell it for them. I would love to sell a Messner vehicle to people as a Messner vehicle, as opposed to killing it for another lackluster Seagal performance.

That I think is what makes this the worst, this cynical aspect where Seagal needs to be unbeatable, so the film had to come up with a way for him to lose without him losing. Is it worth it that much to get his face on the cover so people like me will review it and say "save your money"? That's what the DTV world has come to though; and while maybe we could say it's always been that, that the only difference now is instead of me seeing Seagal on the cover on the video store racks, I'm seeing Seagal on the cover in a thumbnail on my VOD rental selections, but there's something about this that feels more crass. The reality is we didn't even need Seagal in this, Zack Ward was plenty bad enough as the baddie, Seagal's inclusion just weighed it down; but from the cynical VOD standpoint, it doesn't matter, because Zack Ward standing where Messner is, and Messner standing where Seagal is, and Seagal nowhere in the film, means fewer VOD rentals, so it's better to make the overall film suffer, because the film itself is no longer important once we've already plunked our money down to rent it.

 

All that being said, I want to get into Messner in this. Why is it that every cover he's on has him with this look on his face like he's a teenager whose mom just told him he can't go anywhere until he's cleaned his room? And why do all the roles he's in feature him as this personality-less protagonist, when his IMDb photo has him with a monkey on his shoulder? Why can't he have a film that showcases both his action chops and his personality? Why can't he have a wisecracking buddy cop movie? Pair him with Michael Jai White or Byron Mann, and give us 88 minutes of fight scenes, shoot-outs, and great one-liners. This is another movie where we feel like we're just scratching the surface of Messner, and I think part of the reason for that is the studios are afraid to make the movie I described, and instead need to pair him with people like Seagal and Dolph. The studios need to trust us as a movie audience more. If you make the Messner movie, we will watch it.

DMX, like Seagal, isn't so much as wasted in this, as we're wondering why he's here. Other than a scene where he's at a bar asking for a full bottle of Hennessy, and the bartender doesn't get what he means, and he keeps saying "just give me the bottle," there's nothing particularly DMX about his role. He's really just there to be on the cover to get us to rent it in the hopes that it will be Exit Wounds 2. On the other hand, Zack Ward really delivers as the baddie, kind of the way Tim Abell carries Sniper Special Ops despite Seagal being on the cover, Ward carries Beyond the Law from the other side. Again, it's more of that cynical side where Messner and Ward were all we needed, but the studios don't like a move with just them on the cover, so enter DMX and Seagal, which gets me to review it and other people to watch it. On the other hand, this only has 14 external reviews on IMDb, meaning maybe Seagal is hitting his saturation point with these, and even the lure of a potential Exit Wounds 2 wasn't enough.

 

Finally, this film was directed by James Cullen Bressack, who is know more for his horror films. For me, I remember when he was first starting out, I was on a mailing list he had to get the word out on his early movies. The problem for me was, his films were too extreme for my tastes personally, and I didn't think it was worth it for both me to put myself through them if they made me that personally uncomfortable, and worth it for him to have me review a movie that wasn't made for me. Just the same, I wanted him to be successful, so to see him here directing this movie was really exciting for me as someone who hoped he'd do well. For that reason, I decided to include this shot above instead of a screen of DMX. To me it felt like the shot of a director trying to make the best of a film he was given that was beset with many limitations. It's too easy in the cynical DTV world to focus on the bad and turn up the snark, and miss some of the good that comes out of movies like these, like Messner and Ward's performances, or Bressack as a young director trying to put his stamp on a film that isn't his own.

And on that good note, it's time to wrap this up. I think as part of a streaming services you already have, or on Hoopla for free, this is worth checking out. Beyond that, it feels like we're playing into the forces that turned this movie into what it was, that every rental makes the studio think they're right by having a less-invested Seagal with his script demands or a DMX whose part could have been played by anyone in this just so they could be slapped on the cover; but by the same token, by skipping it altogether, you miss out on Messner, Ward, Bressack, and others who did their best to make this beyond just an enticing cover for a VOD rental.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11161374

Gladiator Cop (1995)

After having done The Swordsman on here, I figured I'd do the sequel as well, since both were on YouTube, and I wanted to get more Lamas on the site. Sometimes it's a matter of be careful what you wish for. In addition to us, our friends Ty and Brett have covered this one over at Comeuppance, so you can check their site out to see what they thought. Now, without any further ado.

Gladiator Cop is a sequel to The Swordsman insomuch as taking footage off the cutting room floor from the first film and adding in some new stuff can make it a sequel. Lamas reprises his role...err...the footage of him from the first film is reused, as the museum head from the first one steals the sword of Alexander and gives it to a background dancer from the Bad video to use in underground swordfighting tournaments. Enter James Hong, who wants his warrior to fight Lamas to settle another reincarnation score from two thousand years ago. How can Lamas fight him if he's not really in this movie? Put a mask on another actor and you're all set.

I had no idea this movie was like this. I saw the first one, then just jumped into this one, and realized they were using footage from the first one. And even the things that I didn't recognize, I could tell they'd just been pulled from things in the first one that didn't make the final cut. That makes this a unique kind of bait-and-switch. They essentially Richard Harrison-ed Lamas into this sequel to take advantage of his popularity at the time on Renegade. Then, 16-year-old Matt is supposed to go into my local video store, see Lamas on the cover, and think "oh hey, that's Reno Raines! Let me check that out." Check and mate. Where does that leave us though? I mean, there is the novelty that this movie exists as it does, but it also has the feel of two films cobbled together without the charm of Godfrey Ho's ninja films. If the person playing Lamas in the fights had been wearing a ninja costume with the word "Ninja" on the headband, I think we would have enjoyed it more.

Of the other Hall of Famers, I can think of two who have been in similar circumstances. Cynthia Rothrock was in 24 Hours to Midnight, where someone else played her in a ninja costume; and then Fred Williamson did a fourth Black Cobra film where they just used footage from the previous ones and cobbled it together. The thing is though, those other two were made outside the US, and outside of SAG's jurisdiction. This on the other hand, as far as I could tell, was SAG sanctioned, and even had James Hong in it to boot. Also, it wasn't just Lamas's footage that was reused, they did the same thing with Claire Stansfield. I mean maybe Lamas signed off on it: what easier way to get a payday than to be in a film you don't have to shoot for. Bruce Willis and Steven Seagal would die for that kind of deal.

 

We last saw James Hong here in 2013 when we did Guns and Lipstick. When you think of someone with the volume of credits he has (I'm seeing 440 and counting on IMDb), a situation like this has to be right up his alley. I mean, he probably has some of his own credits like this where he never set foot on the set and they used old footage. What he does here is gives the film a level of credibility it desperately needed, and while it may not have been enough to ultimately save it, he was still a welcomed sight, like a familiar face in a crowd of strangers, and it had that same effect of putting my mind at ease; but then we'd have another Lamas recycled scene and my brain would go fuzzy again.

We've done some Godfrey Ho flicks here on the site, so we're not any strangers to this kind of thing. Reportedly Richard Harrison was told he was doing 2 ninja movies, which turned into 20. I also don't know that he was compensated for the other 18, whereas I'm pretty sure for Lamas to be credited and his scenes used in a SAG film, he needed to be paid for this. As I mentioned above, this doesn't really have the charm that those Ho flicks have; but beyond that, I do wonder why more studios haven't employed this technique. Seriously, do we think Bruce Willis would balk at a paycheck for a film he didn't have to act in? He looks almost the same in every movie too, how hard would it be to cobble together footage from five of those DTV flicks he's done recently? Bringing the Godfrey Ho approach back to the world of modern DTV could be a great thing to see--or it could kill the industry.

 

Getting back to Lamas, this marks his 34th film on the site, which begs the question, does the 40 Club and beyond beckon for him? On the one hand, when we look at how many newer films he's been in that we haven't touched yet, we say yes, we still have a long way to go; but on the other, after this one it looks like we've exhausted his best stuff in the late 80s to late 90s window, so how much more of his stuff do we want to do? Is it worth it to just do his movies just to do them? We could ask that about a lot of Hall of Famers, and I guess what I'll have to consider is factors like, who else is in the movie, what kind of quality is it, and if no one else is in it, how much is the Hall of Famer in it? And how important is it to get Lamas more tags at this point? He's already cemented his legacy as one of the best DTV stars ever, and for anyone looking to get into his stuff, we pretty much have all the best right here--I think Killing Streets is the only one I'm missing. I guess we'll play it by ear and see what happens.

And with that, it's time to wrap this one up. You can stream this on YouTube right now, and for me that's the best way to do it. It's a fascinating entry into the Lamas catalog--not sure if I'd go as far as to call it good, but it is fascinating. James Hong also makes you feel better about yourself as your watching it, and the fact that you're streaming it for free on YouTube helps as well.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109905

Black Cobra 3: The Manila Connection (1990)

In our continued efforts to get more Williamson on the site, I decided to put my money where my mouth is and do back-to-back Williamson posts. It still barely gets us to where we want to be with him, but it's a start. In addition to us, our friends Mitch at the Video Vacuum and Ty and Brett at Comeuppance have also looked at this, so you can go to their sites to see what they thought. Now, without any further ado.

Black Cobra 3 has the Hammer back as Malone, only this time instead of his chief trying to unload him onto the Philippines, now the son of former buddy from Vietnam comes back to ask for his help, after said buddy is killed. So the Hammer cashes in some accrued paid time off and heads over there. There is a mystery to be solved first, which he, the son, and another CIA agent who's well-versed in computers tries to solve; and once solved, they head into the jungle for a mini jungle slog, before Williamson and crew are able to take everyone down. Also, Mike Monty is in this as the captain, because it's a movie made in the Philippines.

 

This is another fun one. I take some points off for the jungle slog, but even with that you get the sense that the filmmakers are like "let's keep this to a minimum, no one is coming to a Williamson flick to see him chop vines with a machete and drink water from a canteen near a waterfall." The film starts with a fantastic grocery store scene, a la Cobra, only, again, in Williamson's "cover version" style as opposed to anyone ripping it off, which makes it fantastic. It's not easy to maintain that level of action throughout, but the film does manage to shoehorn in a shoot-out every 10 minutes or so, which is all we can ask for. I don't know if I like this as much as the first two, but put together, these three make for a really fun movie night marathon.

Williamson brings it again in this one. He doesn't have the material he had in the first two, especially in the form of the one-liners, but what makes Williamson so great is he can carry a film without that. We have a lot of Williamson queued up to go after this, I just need to make it happen. Like this movie, which is available on Tubi, he has a lot of stuff available to stream for free or as a part of subscription packages, which makes it real easy for anyone to get acquainted with him if you haven't already, or if you're someone who wants to introduce Williamson to your friends so they can appreciate all of his goodness. It's a very good thing.

 

The guy who plays the friend's son is Forry Smith, and while I thought he looked familiar, I couldn't figure out exactly what from, so I looked him up on IMDb. Turns out he has had a spot on almost every TV show in the 80s and 90s. We're talking Matlock, Jake and the Fatman, Growing Pains, My Two Dads, Nurses, you name it, he guested on it--he even did a Renegade episode. For anyone who grew up in the 80s and 90s, going through his IMDb bio is like a walk through time, memories of nights watching network TV because cable wasn't as established back then. It was a jolt of nostalgia I wasn't expecting when I wrote this post, but a welcomed one, and the kind of fun I enjoy from doing reviews like this, the idea that you never know what you're going to uncover in the process.

When we talk about Philippine action films, the Jungle Slog often comes up as an issue. It's this forbidden fruit or siren song for the filmmaker, particularly Italian filmmakers trying to produce something on the cheap: just throw your characters in the jungle for 45 minutes, mix in the occasional shoot-out, rinse, repeat. The funny thing is, even now, 30 years later, filmmakers who set films in the Philippines can't get away from it. Look at Showdown in Manila or Death Fighter. The thing is, it so seldom works--in fact, off the top of my head I can't think of an instance where it has worked. What we have here in this film, is a situation where the jungle slog is limited, and then the presence of Williamson mitigates the slog factor itself, so the film is able to overcome it. I mean, is that the best we can do, have a film device that in the best scenario is overcome by other factors? If so, it's a film device that needs to go. I implore you filmmakers in the Philippines, stay out of the jungle!

 

In the last post I talked about tagging Mike Monty, so I finally did. It looks like this is his 7th film on the site, which seems low, but maybe that's right. In the process, I saw on my older posts that Photobucket was up to their old games with the watermarks again. One of the worst decisions I made in making this site was trusting those scam artists with hosting my photos there. We talk about bait and switches all the time, but they had the ultimate one, selling themselves as a free site, until I was almost a 1000 blog posts in with all of my images uploaded there, and then they pulled the rug out from under me. The problem is, even if I were to replace them all with images sourced on Blogger like I do now, the images linked people to the image pages I used to make, which had more content, so working out that HTML fiasco is going to be another issue--plus, having to go through almost 1000 posts anyway to replace the images themselves is such a chore. Here's to you Photobucket, you're one of the worst, and I rue the day I ever trusted you in the first place.

Since I'm getting into a negative space when I'm talking about a positive movie, I might as well wrap this up. You can stream this free on Tubi right now, which I think is the way to go. Do like I did, and watch all three in quick succession. This is the Hammer you came for, and the Hammer you need.

For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0204901