Chopping Mall takes place at the same mall from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Commando. Apparently after what Arnold did to the place, the mall contracts with a security firm that uses robots to patrol the space after hours. At the same time, six kids are having a party at the furniture store they work at after the mall closes. Sounds like they're all on a collision course to wackiness!
This movie did everything I'd want it to do, and the 77-minute runtime didn't hurt either. Great kills, funny characters, and all the 80s nostalgia we could handle. This is the kind of horror movie I love. Maybe it's silly and predictable, but even that element works for me. It's just fun to watch something like this, poke fun at it, talk about the actors we recognize, and reminisce about what it was like going to the mall back then.
Among the actors you'd know, of course there was Barbara Crampton. Her character devolved into the whiny one who can't handle the stress and breaks down, and, SPOILER ALERT, ultimately justifies the use of the flaming stuntperson. We also had Tony O'Dell from Head of the Class--Howard Hesseman and Robyn Givens would have been proud. Character actor Gerrit Graham bites it early on, which I imagine allowed him to run to other micro That Guy roles in other films and TV shows. The heroine was played Kelli Maroney, who, among some other B movies and TV roles she had, was also Cindy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, one of the cheerleaders at the pep rally, meaning she was in two films that were shot at the Sherman Oaks Mall. Finally, DTVC fans will remember Arthur Roberts, the villain from Revenge of Ninja. He plays one of the girls' fathers, but does not don his ninja garb.
And then there was this guy, Mike, played by John Terlesky. They just don't make 'em like him anymore. A face chiseled out of granite, a mullet that is equal parts business on top and party in the back, smacking his gum and wearing tight jeans and sneakers, all of it was great. And we knew the moment we saw him sitting on a desk when he was supposed to be working, talking about partying that night, that he wasn't long for this world. That's the thing, this guy didn't evolve to survive past the 80s, and by 1986 his species was already starting to be selected out. Whether it was killer robots rampaging through a mall after hours, or Bill Clinton's election, the 90s were coming to take him down, and replace him with a guy with poorer hygiene and poorer style. None of us knew it then, but Bender would eventually have the last laugh.
People think I'm hung up on runtime, and that's not entirely true, I just feel like there's no need to tell in 90 minutes what you can tell in 77--and no need to tell in 150 minutes what you can tell me in 90. This movie could be an interesting case study in this concept, because the original version was called Killbots and was 90 minutes long. I've never seen that version--this version here was what was packaged for the video market--but I can't imagine that extra 15 minutes did anything good for this. The other advantage to a shorter runtime is it's easier to sell to people to watch with you. Case in point, Jen watched with me, and I don't think she would have if it were longer. Again, all filmmakers should take Roger Corman's advice and keep it under 88 minutes--and anything over that should be seen as borrowed time that needs to be justified.
In 1986 the mall was the king of commerce, and none of us could imagine the world we're in now where malls are dying and trying to find ways to repurpose themselves. The internet is part of their demise; in addition, I think the move toward urban versus suburban living, particularly among Millennials, has shifted some of the commerce that malls once cornered back to small shops downtown--plus those small shops can now use the internet to hedge against any loss of foot traffic in ways they couldn't before; but I also think stores like Target, and later Walmart in following Target's model, turned the strip mall department store into something cool that obviated any need to go to the mall. When we lived in Delaware County, PA, the Springfield Mall had Target as one of its anchors, and I decided to take a walk through after getting what we needed, and nobody else was doing that. Why would they? Unless they have a thing for malls like I do, they just got everything they needed at Target. You couldn't say that about K-Mart back in 1986. It'll be interesting to see what becomes of the mall in the future, especially as more and more of these spaces die out.
All right, enough of my mall rant. As far as I could tell, this is only available on Amazon Prime, so if you have that, I would check this out. A great 80s mall horror action romp that at 75 minutes really can't be beat. I think growing up in the 80s, we probably all dreamed of staying in the mall after hours, so this is a great way to indulge those fantasies while watching adorable killer robots bumping off kids in their late 20s who were playing teens.
For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090837
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