Armed Response is about a next level "enhanced interrogation"--err, torture center--called a "Temple," which has computer AI that can tell if you're lying by analyzing your sweat, and can then tell you what you're thinking--or something like that. When the soldiers working at the Temple--err, torturing political prisoners--are massacred by someone, Snipes and his crack team of special forces soldiers bring in the guy who created these Temples, a Poor Man's Brendan Fehr (Dave Annable) to help save the team (which they don't know was massacred yet) and figure out why this Temple thing isn't working. When they get there, they end up trapped, and the Poor Man's Brendan Fehr can't seem to figure out what's going on. Luckily the Temple has the ability to turn the sensory deprivation chamber into a Holodeck.
Does any of that make sense? It definitely has the feel of people making it up as they go along, but that's not what kills it--though it doesn't help either. Two things kill it: one, we have a lot of padding. Things that could happen sooner take forever. In one series of scenes, Anne Heche (I forgot to mention she's in this too) and another team member are checking cells to see if anyone's in them. I think they open like 10 of them, and each time we get: stand on either side of the door, raise weapons, swing door open, point guns inside, see no one's there, then yell "clear!" and move to the next one. It's possible they only did this once, and the film recycled it ten times, it was that repetitive. The other issue is, the characters aren't very likeable. I just wanted to see the building kill them all. I don't think I've ever seen a "building of death Destro Effect" before, so maybe that's a feather in this film's cap, as dubious as it is. Speaking of Anne Heche, we do get this film's one true mark of distinction: she has two fight scenes with Seth Rollins. Yes, that Seth Rollins. Between that and the Snipes, who's great despite the circumstances, that's about all we're got here, which to me isn't enough to recommend it.
This is twelve films for Wesley Snipes on the site, and I think out of all of them this was the roughest sit. Usually Snipes alone is so fantastic that he can carry a film through its other shortcomings, but this had a lot of shortcomings and didn't lean on him much to mitigate them. Looking at his IMDb bio, his DTV career looks like it's on the shelf for now, as his roles in Eddie Murphy's feature films combined with his return as Blade in Deadpool and Wolverine have reminded people who shouldn't have needed reminding how great he is--plus I think also introduced him to younger audiences that may not have known of him while he was stuck in DTV land. Last fall Blade was playing at a local indie theater here in Philly, and it was nice to see a large percentage of the audience were kids who either weren't born when that came out, or would've been too young to have seen it in the theater then. Unfortunately a lot of his great 90s films aren't available on any of the major streamers, but he had a great run then, and shouldn't be remembered for something like this.
As we know, I'm someone who likes to be solutions oriented, instead of just bagging on a film, I want to give some suggestions on how it could've been better. Because as silly as that looks above, this could've worked. This is an idea that someone like PM could've taken in the 90s and ran with, giving us a possible classic. First off, get some characters we like. Instead of casting a Poor Man's Brendan Fehr, either get the real Brendan Fehr, or rewrite the character so he fits the actor you do end up getting better. PM would've loaded up with Evan Lurie, Malibu, and the cable guy from Animal Instincts, with maybe Gary Daniels in the Poor Man's Brendan Fehr part and Steven Williams in Wesley Snipes's part. From there, they would've had Merhi or Pepin direct the non-action scenes, and leave the action to Spiro Razatos, Cole S. McKay, or the team of Red Horton and Broadway Joe Murphy. How do you have car chases in a "building of death" scenario? They'd figure it out, and it would be a chase scene that was an instant classic. Instead of padding out the film with multiple shots of soldiers canvassing cells and yelling "clear!" they'd have one "clear!" and then the next one would have a flaming stunt man running out of it. We'd also have Art Camacho choreography some great scenes between Daniels and Malibu and Lurie. If PM could make Hologram Man work, they could make this concept work too.
All that said, we did get one--or rather two--classic moments--is it like the Patriots dynasty? One long dynasty but a ten-year gap of Super Bowls. Here we had one Anne Heche and Seth Rollins fight, then he chokes her out, a few other scenes happen in between, then she gets up and fights him some more, so is that one fight with a break in between, or two fights? Unfortunately the fight ends in a stalemate when the C4 Rollins set near the door goes off and blows them both off their feet, but the sense we got is Rollins was getting the upper hand. There are a couple times where Heche punches Rollins in the face, and we're supposed to believe those really stung for him, and as much as they were trying to sell it, no one was buying. That's okay though, for all the ways this film didn't work, the fact that they had Anne Heche and Seth Rollins in the same movie and said "they need a fight scene" is something that should be applauded. If I'm anything when I review a film, I'm fair--at least I am now, I think when I started this in my late 20s maybe notsomuch.
Finally, Snipes was 55 when this came out, and if we afford for the idea that he was playing someone younger, his character was still in his 40s, right? And he's wearing a backwards baseball cap? I guess if anyone can get away with it, it's Snipes, but once we hit a certain age, the backwards baseball cap is done for us. I remember in my mid-30s I was about to do it, and my wife reminded me that the backwards baseball cap ship had sailed for me. This is not just a rule I made up, or a personal taste thing for my wife. It came up on a sports radio show I listen to, Felger and Mazz, when they were talking about Washington Commanders head coach Dan Quinn, who is also in his mid-50s, yet always sports a backwards baseball cap. In their mind, this made him a grade A tool, and I couldn't disagree. I'm not trying to legislate how anyone should dress, I'm more laying it out there that there are certain realities of us getting older, and for better or worse, the backwards baseball cap no longer being a good look is one of them.
And with that, let's wrap this up. You can stream this on Tubi and a bunch of other free streamers here in the States. Other than the Anne Heche Seth Rollins fight, and perhaps if you're a Snipes completist, this is a skip for me. Also if you want to see a "building of death Destro Effect," that's something I'd never seen before either. I guess if you do this long enough you see everything.
For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4557208
And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!
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