Tough Guys Don't Dance is based on the novel of the same name, directed by the novel's author, Norman Mailer. It follows Provincetown, MA author and pot farmer Tim Madden (Ryan O'Neal), who wakes up after a night of partying with no memory of what happened, but a front passenger seat of his car covered in blood, and a couple heads in plastic bags in his weed stash. He tells us and his father (Lawrence Tierny) all this, which comes though in flashback format, and we learn that one head may be his estranged wife (Debra Stipe), and the other may be a woman he met at a bar (Frances Fisher). But did he kill them? And if he did, why isn't sheriff Wings Hauser arresting him? He needs to figure it out before the murders get pinned on him!
This is a fun, fascinating ride. Is it a parody of hard boiled detective thrillers? Is it Norman Mailer's mess of a movie that he's trying to pass off as parody because it didn't do well? Does any of it even matter? Yes and no. The no is the bonkers nature of the whole thing, especially with the cast, and the beautiful Provincetown scenery--including Mailer's house. The yes is the fact that much of the film is told in flashback form, which is not how it happens in the novel. I just don't find it to be a great storytelling device, but for whatever reason Mailer felt like that was the way to go. Again, it's a fascinating ride, especially considering the novel is more straight-ahead solid, to have the adaptation be this, and perhaps be this because the original author was too involved, and that he went too far away from his source material. But sometimes we need a bonkers, fascinating ride in our films, and this thing fits the bill.
And in true Wings fashion, he adds to that bonkers-ness in the way that only he can. When I read the novel, I didn't see him as the character he played, but in this Mailer film adaptation, he's perfect for this version of the character. Larger than life, makes you uncomfortable in every scene he's in, but also making the film better for all of it. Honestly, I don't know if one review is enough of a tribute to him, as he contributed so much to the kinds of movies we love, whether they were PM actioners, PM neo-noirs, Nico Mastorakis horror, Jim Wynorski Erotic Thrillers, or films like this where a Norman Mailer needed his frenetic energy. I think if you were looking for something more traditional to celebrate Wings, one of his PM flicks or Mastorakis flicks is probably a better bet; but if you want to go outside of that, or you've seen all of those and are looking for something new, this is a great way to go. Here's to you Mr. Hauser, you were one of the greatest, there will never be another like you, but we're all fortunate that we at least had you.
This was the fourth work of Mailer's I'd read, after The Naked and the Dead, The Armies of the Night, and Barbary Shore, and I'd probably put this third behind those first two I listed. The best way to describe the novel is from one of the reviews, which likened Mailer's foray into the hard-boiled detective genre to "Julia Child making a hamburger," which, while it's still a hamburger, it's a next level hamburger. The movie's something else. It's not an elevated hamburger, maybe it's more like the guava-flavored ice cream I got recently, or maybe even better, the current guava flavor of Monster energy drink. And if I were to think of who Mailer was, the idea that he'd make a guava-flavored Monster energy drink of a movie adapted from his elevated hamburger of a novel makes a lot more sense than this sentence does, at least to me. The movie has the feel of me after taking my lunch break at work, and deciding to stop at 7-11, and seeing the new guava flavor of Monster energy drink, knowing I have to try it. For the first hour I'm back at my desk, I'm full of energy, but I can't focus, I'm all over the place. The first part of the second hour I'm getting a few things done, but the sugar and caffeine speedball are wearing off, and by the second half of the second hour, I'm done and ready to crash. The only difference between this film and my post break on an energy drink work experience, is at you can have fun with the movie, and I think ultimately, whatever Mailer does here, it's fun.
Oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! According to the trivia, Mailer told O'Neal he was going to take that out, but then when he saw it, he liked it, so he kept it. O'Neal felt betrayed, because it made people think he couldn't act, but I almost think him not being able to act was what Mailer was going for. And to my mind, Mailer's right, it does fit with the rest of the bonkers-ness. Oh God, oh man! It's like me getting pinged by a colleague for something while I'm in my post-guava energy drink stupor. Oh God, oh man! "Sure, one second, I'll take a look at that for you..." Wait, what is this City Nerd video about "Most Urbanist Ballparks"? Oh God, oh man! The request can wait 15 minutes, I need to see where Fenway ranks... Oh God, oh man! "I totally agree that it's ridiculous that the LA Dodgers play in the middle of a parking moat, when their team is named after the act of dodging a street car!" Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Colleague pings again. "I'm sorry, I got sidetracked..." Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Indeed.
Finally, as much fun as we're having with this movie, it is still with a heavy heart with the passing of Wings. I was trying to think back to my earliest Wings experience. Probably his stint on Roseanne as Danielle Harris's father, and then his guest spot on Beverly Hills 90210 as the guy helping Luke Perry get his money back. From there, fast forward to the early 2000s, when Mind, Body, and Soul was on one of those 10-movie DVD packs I got, and my friends and I loved it. We started looking for all the Wings we could find, and it was that love of Wings's films, combined with our love of Dolph and Roddy Piper films that led to the creation of the DTVC. And with all those Wings films, many of which I picked up on VHS because we couldn't find them any other way, even if they were a total stinker, Wings added something that made them a fun time for us. Truly one of the greats, he will be missed, but we have so many films of his left to cover on the site, so we'll see him again soon. Gone, but never forgotten.
And with that, let's wrap this up. Currently you can get this free on Prime. I think that's the best way to go, though I am curious about the DVD, which has Norman Mailer's commentary. This is a bonkers movie, but can be very enjoyable due to said bonkers-ness.
For more info: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094169
And if you haven't yet, check out my newest book, Nadia and Aidan, at Amazon in paperback or Kindle!
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