Agent Red (2000)

I bought this for one reason and one reason only: DTVC Hall of Famer Dolph Lundgren. I would have to say he's the only man alive that can make a movie that I know I won't feel bad about buying--ever.

Agent Red is a tough one to do a synopsis of, because there are a lot of other movies mixed into it. According to IMDb the producer had three days to reshoot 45 minutes of film, and to do that, they used scenes from six other pictures, one of which was Storm Catcher, another Dolph movie. From what I could gather, this was Die Hard on a sub with Dolph trying to keep some renegade Russians from getting a biological weapon.

The Storm Catcher footage was great. In the original, a guy dresses in Dolph's outfit and hijacks a stealth fighter. What they do for Agent Red is make it out that Dolph is the guy in the suit, stealing the stealth from someone else. Only difference: the guy in Storm Catcher is about a half a foot shorter than Dolph. My friends and I were dying watching it. One of my all time favorite Dolph lines comes from the set up to the Storm Catcher scene, where Dolph is joking with some guy about what he's about to do. The guy asks if Dolph can fly the plane, and Dolph says: "hell if I know" in this perfect voice... maybe only I found that funny.

I don't even know what to say about this film. It was like a Clancy film ripoff, that was a Die Hard ripoff, that was an Under Siege ripoff. It was like a big Mad Libs, with shots and action sequences filled in by the director with pencil. It was like out of the Ed Wood handbook.

And you know what? I liked it. I'm sure the Dolph factor had a lot to do with that. It was like bad action at its worst, and best. There was just no shortage of fun in it. My friends and I were laughing the whole time. Dolph was his ever beefy self, he had a hot female doctor to hook up with, and there was plenty of killing and beating to go around. How could you not like it?

I'm not so sure buying this is the best option. I think I paid $9 for it used. But if you can get it for cheaper or rent it, definitely do so. This is a great bad action movie, and it's both a good starting point for the novice bad movie watcher, and a classic for the veteran. It's just good all the way around.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218080/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/