The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at] I'd love to check out what you got.



Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.


Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Blood Diner (1987)

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This was a classic for us in high school. I don't remember exactly how many times we watched it, but it was in double figures. We called it "Blood Dinner", and I can't remember why, because it's not that funny, and actually sounds stupider than the real title. I guess we were just young and dumb.

Blood Diner follows the exploits of two psycho brothers who resurrect their uncle's brain and penis and attempt to fufill his original plan to call the spirit of an Egyptian goddess here to Earth. To do it, they need to take body parts from women, have a blood buffet, and sacrifice a virgin. To fund their exploits, the brothers run a vegetarian diner, where they serve food made from their human victims. A female cop, who gets mooned by one of the brothers, tries to track them down before it's too late.

This film has many memorable scenes, including the mooning scene. The brother moons the cop, and she throws her sandwich at him, which explodes when it hits his ass. In another, they have a rival who's upset his diner is losing business to them. They cut his hands off while he's driving, and the whole thing's hilarious. Maybe the best was when they were trying to get more body parts of women, and they invite two back to the diner with them. They push one of the girls' heads in the fryer, and her head pops back up as a big ball of dough. She runs around like that for a second before one of the brothers knocks the doughy head off with a broomstick.

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In terms of campy horror, this isn't too bad. Even though it came out twenty years ago, it's a nice change of pace from today's brutal slasher films. I guess my theory is, if your gonna have tons of blood, do it like this or Bad Taste, instead of The Hills have Eye 17 or Saw 33 and 1/3. There's no shortage of laughs here.

That being said, don't watch this alone. I've never seen it alone, but I can imagine it'd be pretty boring to not have anyone to share in the silly gore with. If you have a lot of friends who like this kind of thing, watch it with them.

This is definitely worth a look at. I think there's a limited edition DVD of it out, and if they're charging a full $19.99 for it, I'd pass on that. Don't get me wrong, the film's great, just not $19.99 great. I don't know if I'd pay more than $5 for it, actually, but it's well worth that $5. If you're thinking of renting it, I'd only spend new release money on it if you're a big fan of campy horror and you've got a big crew to watch it with.

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