The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at] I'd love to check out what you got.



Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Iron Warrior (1987)

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When my buddy found Cartel at a used video store in Bangor, he found this film as well. Not only was it huge in being two films from DTVC Hall of Famer Miles O'Keefe, but as MST3K fans, this one was an Ator film. He brought them both over and we had a Miles double header.

Iron Warrior takes place after Cave Dwellers. Unfortunately that means thong is not rockin' with us on this one. This witch is freed from her imprisonment in two rotating hoola-hoops (I'm assuming the flying parallelogram effect was too expensive) and she immediately puts a curse on a king, his princess, and their five or so citizens. The princess seeks out our beefy hero Ator, which makes sense. When they return, they find not the king, but the Iron Warrior, who looks kind of like Death Adder from Golden Axe (I forgot how much I hated that game until my buddy downloaded it recently on the Wii... but I digress). Ator fights him some, then they separate and move on. Eventually Glenda the Good Witch explains the whole deal to Ator: the Iron Warrior is his brother, and there's a box somewhere with what he needs to kill him. He does, then takes out the bad witch with a torch to the mouth. They all lived happily ever after... or did they?

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If you saw Cave Dwellers on MST3K, you've got an idea of what you're in for on this one. It doesn't disappoint. Same plot holes, bad props, and oily Miles. For some reason, it just works. We were not disappointed at all in Iron Warrior.

There's one scene where Ator comes across the IW in a room with spears. The IW throws one at Ator, who catches it, and throws it back, and then the IW catches it after Ator throws it, and throws it back to him. I've never seen anything like it. It was too ridiculous to make fun of. We just laughed at it. To finish the stalemate, the princess catches one aimed at Ator, and they decide to leave. Ator has the audacity to then thank her for saving his life.

In a scene derivative of the famed boulder run in Indiana Jones, Ator and the princess are plagued by two. They look like they're going to come together and sandwich the princess, but Ator carries her out of a hole with a rope, and the two boulders collide and explode. I don't know why they explode, but they do.

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I have a healthy does of respect for Miles O'Keefe after these films. Unlike Joe Don Baker, who ripped MST3K for his treatment in Mitchell, and was roundly dismantled by them in Final Justice, Miles never said anything about MST3K's work with Cave Dwellers. It's possible that he's not in any first run films, so no one's asked him, but I like to think it's because he has more class than Joe Don Baker. There's a sense with Miles that he's doing these films to make a paycheck, and you can't fault him for that.

If you see this for sale at a used video store like my buddy did, consider yourself lucky and snatch it up quickly and hold it close to your bosom. If you're lucky enough to have a video store near by that still has this for rent, rent it as soon as possible. This film is a fun time for everyone; what can be wrong with that?

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