The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at] I'd love to check out what you got.



Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.


Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Fortress 2 (1999)

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After seeing the unfathomably hilarious and bad Fortress, we absolutely had to watch the sequel when we found out there was one. I can't see what in the first one would have warranted a sequel, but some people with money greenlighted it and it was made. I hope it turned a profit.

Fortress 2 takes place somewhere in the future after the first film. Lambert is hunted and recaptured by the evil Men-Tel corporation. Instead of the underground prison, which would be old hat for Lambs, they ship him to one in space. There they make him do menial tasks like donning a space suit and fixing things outside the ship (I thought people needed special training to work in space. What are we spending all that money on astronauts for?). Inside, he also meets a woman he used to chill with. With her help, he forms another teen gang like the one he had in the first movie, and they plot their escape. P.S. Pam Grier's in this too.


What can I say that I didn't say in reviewing the first movie? What can this film say that it didn't say in the first movie? Will they make a third and see how he escapes that? Underwater? Floating in the air? Maybe Lando's Cloud City? What if you shrink him and put the prison inside someone's colon? See how you get out of that, Lamby Baby.

I wonder what they offered Lambert to do this movie. I hope he asked for it all up front, as opposed to getting some on the back end, because this couldn't have sold much. There were some funny scenes. They made him work outside the space station, and of course, he almost dies. He tries to escape by hiding in a cargo box. It didn't work, which didn't make any sense-- not that he got caught, but that he tried it. The final escape was rather implausible. The shipping guy just decided to let everyone on the ship. As they flew off, the prison exploded. I'm assuming that's one reason we don't have prisons in space: because they explode too often.


Lambert gives you a solid Lambert performance. His accent is funnier than usual. It might just be the movie, but it's good. They gave him some kind of punishment where he was stuck in a glass dome and exposed to the sun. I could see he drew upon some old acting school teachings to pull that off. Who knows if this film would've worked with Dolph or Van Damme, but I know it wouldn't have been as ridiculous... okay, maybe it would've.

P.S. Pam Grier was in this film.


Avoid this fucker. Only see it if you saw the first one, and managed all right. If you couldn't handle the first one, you'll be killed with this one, and out any money you invested. If you see it on TV, TiVo it if you dare. Don't erase anything to tape it, though. And don't wake up early on a Saturday to watch it either. It's just really bad.

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