The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at]yahoo.com. I'd love to check out what you got.

Announcement

Announcement

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.

--Matt

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Midnight Kiss (1993)

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I saw this listed in my program guide, and thought it might be a documentary on Lou Gramm's hit song "Midnight Blue", not to be confused with Icehouse's "Electric Blue". I was wronger n' wrong on that one. Maybe I should've read the writing on the wall since the movie was aired on Sci-Fi.

Midnight Kiss is about a vampire who's killing women in LA. The problem is, the police don't know vampires exist, so they have no idea what's going on. An embattled policewoman finally gets her shot working homicide, and she's assigned the case, only to find out she has to work with her ex-husband-- the guy who gave Ginger Lynn Allen the dry hump in Mind, Body, and Soul. Anyway, she bumps into the vampire on her way home one night, he bites her, and she starts turning into a vampire too. After going to her local library, she finds out she's got to kill him before she fully turns in order to save herself. Is it too late?

This movie had no identity. It was either a sexy suspense thriller with too much gore, or a gory horror film with too much sexy suspense. There's a reason why that's bad: the horror fans get way too little action to keep them satisfied, and the sexy suspense thriller people wish they'd just watched another Shannon Tweed film on Skin-a-max. And for people like me, I wish I'd just watched both.

The female lead was hot in a very early nineties kind of way. She had this big permed hair, and she usually wore baggy shirts and not-so-flattering jeans. Then she'd wear a mini-skirt or leather pants, and it'd be like whoa. Kind of like in high school when there was that girl who you never really thought about, but then her softball coach made the team dress up on the days they had road games, and after that you couldn't stop thinking about her. You couldn't do that kind of thing today, where we have movies and TV shows with even the geeky people looking hot.

This was marketed as a vampire movie with a sexual element, meaning the vampire is suave and women dig him, only to get bitten. There was none of that in here. The vampire looked like a stunt double for the lead singer of Ugly Kid Joe, and he never seduced his women, instead beating the crap out of them and biting them. He lived in a nasty apartment, dressed like Sebastian Bach of Skid Row, and had gross nails.

In terms of Lou Gramm's "Midnight Blue", there was none of that in here, unfortunately. There also wasn't any of Icehouse's "Electric Blue" either. "Electric Blue" was the only major hit here in the US by the Australian group Icehouse, formerly known as Flowers, and it was actually co-written by John Oates of Daryl Hall and John Oates fame. For more info on them: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icehouse_%28band%29

Don't watch this movie. If it's on at 3am, and you're awake, you should try to break your old high score in Homerun Derby on Wii Sports. If you don't have a Wii, then I'd try reading a book. I heard Faulkner's written some good stuff.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107571/

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