The Order (2001)

First off, don't confuse this movie with the mainstream release also called The Order (2003), which has fellow DTVC Hall of Famer Peter Weller as a Warrior Pope (or, at least a guy who strives to be one). This one's better than the 2003 one, because it has way more Van Damme-age than the other has P Dubs.

My buddy and I originally found this one morning on USA. It was a very good thing. Van Damme plays a thief who steals from rich bad guys (just so we can like him as a hero more--do we need that? I mean he's Van Damme: if we didn't like him, we wouldn't watch the movie anyway). His dad goes missing in Israel, and he goes to look for him. He uncovers a secret religious order that's like a mixture of all the Abrahamic religions, and one of their guys goes renegade (not like Lorenzo Lamas, but like the bad Watcher Horton in Highlander: The Series). Van Damme is arrested and is sent to be deported, when he convinces the hot police woman sent to escort him to the airport to let him stay. Sound familiar? It was a plot device used in the Joe Don Baker classic Final Justice (which you may remember MST3K did simply to kill Joe Don after they heard he was not happy with his treatment when they did Mitchell).

Best part of the movie? Van Damme dons a disguise as a Hasidic Jew. He runs around with the curly sideburns. I'm not saying that's funny in general, just funny when Van Damme looks like that. It's really the only thing that makes this worth seeing at all. That and Chuck Heston, of course. I don't know if he's got really bad dementia, or his career has fallen off with his NRA activism in a slightly more left-leaning Hollywood. Either way, his inclusion in this film is our gain.

 
Drawbacks are many. The plot's hard to bear, even considering my low realistic expectations for a DTV action movie. When writers steal plot devices from a Joe Don Baker film that MST3K used to launch fat and dumb jokes for an hour-and-a-half, something's not right there. Unless, Van Damme (who co-wrote), was putting that thread in as an ode to MST3K; if that's the case, it's fantastic, but I doubt it. Also, the action's a little stilted and predictable for a Van Damme actioner. Derailed, though pretty much a complete Under Siege 2 retread, was much better from the bad action standpoint. After such gems as Double Impact, Double Team, Kickboxer, and Bloodsport, I expect a little more from Van Damme, and this movie just wasn't quite there.

If you're having a Van Damme night with a bunch of friends, maybe rent this. It's definitely worth TiVoing if you see it on your program guide. But spending money on it, unless you can get it for like $2, is probably not a great idea. You're better off dipping into the old classics than turning to this one.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0193364/

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