Derailed (2002)

Don't confuse this movie with another Derailed that came out in 2005. That one has Clive Owen and Jennifer Anniston. Both are very silly, but one was way more expensive to make, and took itself way more seriously. We're going to look at the other one here, the 2002 one.

The term Derailed has been in the news lately, with Shaq saying that "Ed Rush Derailed [him]." Let's put Shaq's post Blue Chips acting career aside and look at what he's saying: NBA refs are very similar to bad guys in bad action movies. They're always hating on the Big Man.

And Derailed is no exception. DTVC Hall of Famer Jean-Claude Van Damme has his hands full when he's trying to escort hottie Laura Harring and her dangerous virus from some place to some safer place. I can't remember why, but they go by train. The baddies find out what train they're on, and hijack the fucker. Then the vials break and the virus spews everywhere, and it's up to the Muscles from Brussels to save the day.

In terms of the stuff I dug, Laura Harring was probably one of the hottest women to work opposite the big fella, and we all know he's had his share. The action wasn't bad for DTV, the plot wasn't too convoluted, and it was definitely silly enough. Really, this isn't that bad in terms of Van Damme...

...It's just not that good either. Even as a connoisseur of bad Van Damme, I was having trouble with this. If it was any longer than 89 minutes, I'd have been harsher in my treatment of it. I just don't know why Van Damme would re-do a movie that one of his professional rivals, Steven Segal, already did, and did better. Sure, me and my buddies had no trouble making jokes at its expense, and that's why we watch a movie like that, but other than Van Damme, I really have no reason to not just get Under Siege 2 and make fun of that.

As you might imagine, I have a fairly extensive Van Damme collection, and this movie isn't in it. It's the kind of movie I'll TiVo when I see it listed on USA, and then have it as a back-up when people are over. Only if you're a Van Damme completist should you buy this, and even then for no more than $5, and even then only after you've bought The Order and Desert Heat/The Inferno (it goes by both names). Again, it's not that bad for DTV and Van Damme, it's just too blah to choose it over something like The Minion with Dolph Lundgren.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298296/

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