The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. If you click on an image, it will take you to that post's image page, which includes many more pics from the film and other goodies I couldn't fit in the actual review. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at] I'd love to check out what you got.



Hi everyone, it's been a while since I checked the page, and I wanted to make a few announcements.

First and foremost, it appears a dubious site has claimed the old url, meaning any link in any review that goes to the old mattmovieguy url is corrupt. I'm in the process of trying to remove them all, but it's a lot! It's best not to click on any link without hovering over it first to make sure it doesn't have mattmovieguy in the url.

Second, it appears since my last trip to the blog, Photobucket has decided to charge for third party hosting, meaning none of my images are appearing anymore. That's simply an aesthetic issue, but still annoying.

Thank you all for your patience, and again, hopefully this will all be fixed soon.


Friday, May 18, 2007

Frostbite (2005)

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This film popped up on ON Demand when my buddy and I were looking for a good comedy after 1 o'clock in the morning. Based on it's runtime (under 90 minutes), we figured we'd give it a try. Also, we're big Ski School fans, so there was a history there.

Frostbite is about this dude and the girl who has a crush on him who go to this snowboarding school he was admitted into. Once there, he finds out it's run like a military academy, and is expelled for not being conservative enough. He meets the ragtag group of kids that hang out at Traci Lords' coffee shop, and with the inspiration of the guy that played Kramer's lawyer on Seinfeld, they win back the mountain from the Evil snowboarding school.

This film was pretty much dick and fart jokes and Three Stooges style humor. But it was done really well. The main character had a pretty solid delivery style that worked in all the funny scenes. I'd say this was almost a parody of another comedy Out Cold, but an homage to the classic Ski School. That's just kind of the way the jokes fell.

There's a blind real estate agent in the film, and they spare no expense in working in crude jokes regarding his impairment. My favorite was when the main character left Traci Lords' coffee shop, tasted his coffee, didn't like, and dumped it aside, splashing the blind man in the face with hot coffee. It sounds horrible, but it was oh so funny.

As in many films of this genre, boobs were everywhere. There was no shame in how often they showed them. Maybe it's a guy thing, but I'm okay with that. Traci Lords' boobs, however, even though they're mentioned a lot, are not shown. There are a few cracks made in reference to her past work in Gentlemen's Cinema, which is interesting, because the majority of people born after like '83 wouldn't get those jokes. I was kinda under the impression the 18-34 demographic was their target, so that cuts out a chunk of it. Maybe it was a little something special for us oldies.

The final race scene was a little lacking. I think they were mocking final race scenes in similar movies, especially with the baddies sporting spiked bats and whatnot without attempting to conceal them. As opposed to other parts of the film, I'm not so sure I'm okay with that. The final race is the parody. You can't parody the parody. Just the same, there was a cute twist with the blind guy and our hero that was kind of cool.

The Kramer's lawyer element finished the film off for me. He was perfect, spitting out conspiracy theories and general observations with the same style of delivery he used on Seinfeld. In one he said Kurt Kobain killed Courtney Love, then cut off his dick, got fake boobs, and now lives as her. In another he says he taught Jim Morrison how to snowboard in 1989. More movies should have him in them. Not him, per se, but his character as Kramer's lawyer.

I'd go with this bad boy if you're pouring through the ON Demand free movie lineup after 1am looking for a comedy like we were. You could rent it if you're in the mood for the same deal, but I'm not sure many movie stores are open that late. Don't buy it. It's not exactly good enough for that kind of commitment.

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